Mr. Eternity (19 page)

Later I’m sitting with Daniel de Fo on a warm stone in the mountain sunlight. Some of the Muro sit nearby eating dried ants. Daniel de Fo tells us about the East Indies, which are the eyelids of the world. There are baboons like mastiffs, huge and violent, which kill people for sport. There is also a kind of huge bird, the caquesseitan or cassowary. He thinks it must be a relative of the karawa bird, but it’s not half so subtle and it cares nothing for music. This creature is covered in black scales, like a lizard. It has pricks on its chin like writing quills. It eats orangutans. It chases them right up into the trees.

“Its meat is so tough that you cook it in a pot with a stone,” he says, “and when the stone is ready to eat, the cassowary is too.”

This reminds him of the elephant bird of Madagascar, but the elephant bird is not aggressive. It is a mournful creature. It keeps to the sad marshes and lays its eggs in the loneliest places. It does not believe it deserves anything better. You don’t need to fear anything from this animal except the contagion of its melancholia.

“And yet,” says Daniel de Fo, “what accounts for the differences between these large birds, which are outwardly so similar?”

The next morning I find the vicar general sitting all alone by the fire. He is baking a sweet potato in the coals. I sit close to him, so our legs are touching. I smile. He is a priest and life has given him no defense against such a smile, which in any case is like a thing sent from Heaven. I tell him that surely all of this bloodshed is abhorrent to God. The betrayal of our countrymen. The murder of other Christians. Surely this is ungodly? Surely we will pay for these sins?

“You can never know his will,” he says in a quavering voice.

Sometimes I don’t understand what anyone says. Sometimes I don’t exist. The light shines right through me.

“Did the people of Cuervo deserve to die?” I say. “The men will listen to you. You are the representative of our Holy Mother Church in this kingdom of heathens. You must condemn the captain general Gonzalo de Castellana, strip him of his rank, excommunicate him. If not you, then who else?”

“I don’t have that authority.”

“Then you will create the authority for yourself, with words, because nothing exists except in words. If a thing can be spoken, it is the truth.”

We left Savannah and now the coast did assume a whole different aspect. Islands and mainland all of it were green with wild trees and it didn’t have a city anywhere only a few small towns. It were a kind of rainforest said the captain it were the great Atlantic swamp forest. Oh I could tell you stories of the rainforest said Old Dan I could tell you of the krawa bird plus a clown named Gonzala who were eaten by the dirt.

But I were feeling impatient. I asked Old Dan where is the treasure of Anakitos that will make us rich men. Oh he said it is not so far now it is buried near Saint Augustine. Saint Augustine I said is it a person or a city. It is a city named for a person it used to be called Saint Brendan before it were drowned. Oh I said. Actually that isn’t right he said I am confused. What about the treasure I said. We will find it he said I reburied it around there when the seas expanded. You reburied it I said. First I buried it in Fiji he said then I buried it in Greenland that tropic isle and next I moved it to Key West but then finally I moved it to the rainforests of Saint Brendan. You mean Saint Augustine I said. Correct he said. You are sure you can find it I said. I am sure he said however remember that as my helper you must also help me find Anna Gloria. I know that I said but my question is how will I recognize her how could I possibly help. Good question he said. How I said. I don’t know he said I don’t know how I will recognize her myself I have often been mistaken that is why I need a helper.

One day we anchored off Cumberland Island. Old Dan said it were once owned by Andrea Carnegie King of Scots who had got to be king by selling rat leather. The island were washing away in the sea now but there was some folks living there in the ruins of the palace. We went ashore for water and saw how they lived with their baskets of squids
their cutgrass their sick dogs. It were pretty bad on that island all strangled with fig trees and bugs and old tires it were no longer fit for a king that were certain. We only stayed a short time but the sight of their poverty stuck with me for it were my own poverty also. I were a poor guy in my shorts looking out over the stern as the island fell away. I thought uh oh Jam uh oh for I worried that all my sadness and anger would come fluxing back. Then I thought now hang on remember it don’t have to affect you for you are the Independent States of Jam. I told myself you have seceded from the Union and there is no reason you can’t also secede from unhappiness.

I were thinking of what Old Dan had said of that glorious moment a hundred years when everyone had a car television air condition the rest of it. I asked him if you could of took anything from those days what would you of took. I have heard this question before he said. What would it be I said. We have all the same things he said it is only that they are more expensive now. You know what I mean I said just tell me what are the good things. Well he said for one thing a merino shirt. A merino shirt I said. Yes he said it were a space-age fabric it hung so good plus it were microbial probiotic ecksekera. Okay I said that’s one thing what else. Also it grew as a plant he said it were a lamb which grew out of the ground you harvested the wool. Good I said but what else would you bring. Well he said it had effective bug spray in those days. I have heard of this I said but would you really say the best things was bug spray and merino shirts you are not doing good with this question. I don’t know he said it had other things too it had egoganic foods and it had rivers which was made not from water but from melted snow and it had rubber microwave drag racing it were simply a general quality of life. Microwave I said I have heard of that too. You have heard many things he said you are not so ignorant as you believe. I am I said. You are not he said. I cannot read and write I said I am a ignorant fucker like those fuckers on Cumberland Island.

One day Lun-Biao and me were upon the deck we was sweating shading our eyes very unhappy we was so hot. I were still trying to secede from
unhappiness but it were not so easy. I confided this to Old Dan. Well he said you are not the first to have this trouble for it used to be sadness were considered a disease. What do you mean I said. Sadness were a disease he said. Was it catching said Lun-Biao. I don’t know he said but there was pills for it. For sadness I said. Everyone took them he said it were a craze they ate them like ginger candy. Amazing I said did they work. I don’t know he said. I would like to try some I said I am once again struggling with sadness. I think it is just being young said Old Dan. But this made it worse for now I thought how Old Dan were so old so shrunken yet even he were happy he were not in my shoes. I am a sad fucker I said. Stop calling yourself a fucker he said. But I am a fucker I said don’t you see. You have got to think positive he said. I know I said I am trying. It’s the only cure he said how do you think I have been able to stand it all these years all the shocks and traumas. You always think positive I said. Yes I do he said. I am trying I said. Then Lun-Biao said I always think positive I think more positive than anyone. Oh good said Old Dan good for you.

But this were how Old Dan come to feel bad for me and decided he would teach me to read. He kept this promise too what a nice guy amazing. He taught me each day on the boat when it were calm. Together we read Where the Wild Things Are which belonged to the captain. Lovely story said Old Dan and all true I know for I were there. Later we read other books even the Bible it were hard work but he did teach me. The Bible were holy but it were not so easy to follow along. Remember said Old Dan remember that Jesus is the god of love everybody always forgets but you would not forget if you knew him for he were a great dude.

Next it did not rain for two weeks. It were dead calm gray hot still not even the afternoon inshore breeze that were suppose to be never failing. We were just talking drifting going nowhere so that eventually we did come to run out of drinking water. Some of us must go ashore said the captain. Not me I said I am afraid. Yes you said the captain and you he said to Peaches and you he said to Lun-Biao. Joseph would remain aboard with Old Dan for these was the privileges of seniority. It have a river said the captain. He pointed it out to me. I shaded my eyes for though it were
cloudy it were very bright. It have a river he said you must row up the river taste the water when it taste sweet fill the drums row back easy as a pie.

It were now Lun-Biao told us I am the grandson of Gingus Can. What I said. Never fear he said I am the grandson of a god. He is joking said the captain aren’t you Lun-Biao. Yes sir said Lun-Biao however he winked at me. It is Georgia said the captain to Peaches and me it is the United States there is nothing to fear. I am scared anyway said Peaches. Look he said I will give you the gun careful it have three bullets only it is for protection. It seemed Peaches were more scared than me. Lun-Biao were not scared at all. Scared or not it were time to go ashore and now we lowered the boat.

Mostly this Atlantic forest were just mongrove but when it were higher ground as now it had all kinds of great huge trees. It were the old pineapple state of Georgia maybe but it were a empty fever coast it were enormous trees screaming birds the jungle so thick it were like wild night in there. I saw a flock of fish swimming through the trees I swear it.

Let’s go into the jungle said Lun-Biao let’s see what it feels like. No said Peaches oh Jesus no. We must row up the river I said. We could see no sign of people except more busted cement rusted cars ecksekera. The whole universe of our old prosperity were swallowed up by leaves and creepers.

Just then we saw something even worse for it had a monster standing on the bank of the river. We all three stared at it. We had no experience of monsters. What is it said Peaches is it a bear. If it is a bear very good I said for bears eat blueberries exclusively. It has got tusks said Lun-Biao it is a pig. Where does it have pigs of this size I said have you ever heard of this. It were a very large monster as large as a horse and maybe larger. It is a pig said Lun-Biao we are going to kill it think of how delicious pork bacon trotters. Oh Jesus said Peaches. First we get the water I said we will just go around the pig. Jesus help us said Peaches oh Jesus do not take us away in the midst of our lives.

We did go around the monster pig we gave him room. He were interested in us he watched us but if he could swim he made no sign. He stood where he was he seemed very curious and intelligent. Up we went until the water were sweet. Then we filled our plastic containers which was very good containers very expensive. But Lun-Biao could not stop talking of killing the monster. We have the gun after all he said. It is only for protection said Peaches. Hunting is a kind of protection said Lun-Biao it protects against hunger. Next thing we know he were out of the rowboat wading ashore. He has never shot this gun said Peaches he is crazy. What can we do I said his granddaddy was Gingus Can. We will wait here in the boat said Peaches. Uh oh I said. I will fear no evil said Peaches for I walk through the valley in the shadow of death. Pray with me he said. Okay I said. For the Lord it is with me he said. Yes I said. Jesus always listening said Peaches.

Lun-Biao were getting close and still the monster pig did not move. We ourselves now got a better look at it for we was drifting past. It were as tall as a horse yes but stronger its muscles were bulging it had tusks also fangs and hooves like a pig. I think it were a giant pig after all. Lun-Biao now fired the gun two shots. This left him only one which he fired into the sand in his fear as the pig charged him. I think it must of got spooked. I don’t know nothing of monster pigs but I know what happened. The pig it killed him it tore him apart his arm his head there was only pieces of Lun-Biao.

We rowed back to the ship what else could we do after such horrors. A sad incident said Old Dan but that is the way it crumbles in a sailor’s life. One time he said I sailed a eighty-gunner by myself from Jibraltar to Sicily it were when all the crew died of pox or plague or some such. Were you able to think positive about that I said. Yes he said or I tried to for I were glad I weren’t dead it is no picnic being dead.

Now I had this thought that even in the empty Atlantic forest it had so much bottles and bags washing down the rivers that it were like all of history washing out to sea. I thought we are losing our history our knowledge our past we just keep losing more and more. It were a unusual
thought to come to me at such a time however that were my thought. Then I had another and it were that the treasure of Anakitos did not matter so much if you could of got eaten by a pig any time. Yes said Old Dan for what is the true riches in this vale of tears it is your Anna Gloria every man must find his Anna Gloria that is the real treasure call me a sentimentalist if you want.

I passed my youth in a place where men are bought and sold like barrels of biscuit and tubs of herring, and in consequence I formed a strong conviction viz. the importance of money. If money could be thrown into the balance with a man’s soul, or so I reasoned, there was no problem that could not be solved but with its application. Even groping death might be averted had one gold enough to pay the devil. I was now stagger’d beneath a montane of debt, for I had lost all I had at cards, and all that Dr. Dan had as well, a fact which he did not begrudge me, but though this problem derived ultimately from an
immoderate desire for money
, still its solution was money and money alone. Where was I to get it?

I had but one recourse, and now I sought out Quaco and asked him had he thought of a plan for stealing Mr. Galsworthy’s collection of Spanish coins. Indeed, his reply was so immediate and unequivocal as almost to excite my suspicion, but no matter, for it was that subtlety of mind which had recommended me to him in the first place.