Mr. Hollywood (Celebrity #1) (10 page)

I
’
d received her messages loud and
clear. She obviously wanted nothing to do with me anymore, but I took her cold
shoulder as a sign of hope. If she were truly over me she wouldn
’
t seem so hurt, would she? If I
could just get her to open up and talk to me, maybe we could work things out.

A couple of female residents walked into the room,
taking off their robes to get in the pool. Immediately, I got out, reaching for
my towel. While other people in treatment knew I was a resident here, I tried
to keep my distance from them. I wasn
’
t looking to form connections with
others and I wanted to keep my recovery as private as possible.

In our group session, people referred to me using my
fake name I was registered under, John Carpenter. I didn
’
t delude myself into thinking
anyone actually believed it. Judging by the not so discreet glances and stares,
I was pretty certain everyone recognized me, unless they
’
d been living under a rock. My face
was constantly in the media.

“
Good
morning, John,
”
one of the women said with a
smile.

“
Ladies,
”
I replied, flashing a smile and a
nod.
“
Enjoy your swim. The water is
perfect.
”

“
Thanks,
we will.
”

I didn
’
t miss the beginnings of quiet
giggles as I headed past them toward the locker room. I was used to twittering
females. Thankfully, everyone in residence here was under the same
confidentiality clause as the staff. No one was allowed to leave this facility
and speak about the others who were here seeking treatment. To do so was asking
for a lawsuit. Still, I hated that other people knew I was a patient.

Stepping into the showers, I quickly washed off before
wrapping the towel around my waist and heading to my locker. I retrieved my
clothing, a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, and put them on before heading
to the door to go back to my room.

My thoughts were so wrapped up as I stepped outside
that I wasn
’
t paying attention and ran right
into Aubrey, causing her to stumble backward. Instantly, I reached out to
steady her, grabbing her arm and anchoring her against me so she wouldn
’
t fall.

Damn, she felt good in my embrace. I didn
’
t speak, simply staring down at the
gorgeous creature in my arms. Her eyes widened, fear creeping into them and she
pushed away from me. Reluctantly, I let her go.

“
I
.
 
.
 
. I
’
m
sorry,
”
she stuttered.

“
Nothing
to be sorry about. It was my fault. Are you all right?
”

She nodded, rubbing her hands over her clothing as if
it needed to be straightened, and it only served to highlight some very
attractive places on her figure. Immediately, my body flared to life, the
dreams it had been tortured with too much for it to handle any longer.

“
I
’
m fine,
”
she answered, even though she
clearly wasn
’
t.

A moment of awkward silence passed between us, but
neither of us seemed willing to move.
“
Were you trying to find me?
”
I finally asked, hopeful, but she
shook her head.

“
No.
Another one of my patients is in there.
”

Well, shit.
“
Look, can we maybe go somewhere and
talk?
”
I asked, wanting to spend some more
time with her, even if it was just a few more minutes. Even though things
between us weren
’
t good, she still soothed me
somehow.

“
I
really can
’
t, Zane. It
’
s not
—”

“
Ethical,
”
I interrupted, knowing exactly what
she was about to say.
“
I don
’
t
give a fuck if it
’
s ethical or not, Aubrey. You and I
have a history together, and whether you want to believe it or not, you
’
re crucial to my recovery. I need
you to let me talk to you. Can
’
t you see that my success in all
this depends on whether or not I can set things straight with you? And even if
that weren
’
t the case, you were my girlfriend
—
not just my girlfriend, but my best
friend, too. Since you
’
ve been gone I
’
ve had this giant hole in my life
—
a hole no one but you can fill. I
need you.
”
My heart was racing as I
poured out my innermost feelings to her.

“
Zane.
”
That simple word said so much.
There was loads of pain and regret in her tone.
“
Don
’
t you see? I can
’
t. I work here and need to keep
this job. I could get fired if my boss found out about our connection.
”

Glancing around, I checked to see if anyone was watching,
but saw no one.
“
Then don
’
t tell people. Damn it, Aubrey. I
need to talk to you. Please don
’
t shut me out. I can
’
t take it anymore.
”

Her features hardened, as if a stone mask had replaced
them.
“
You should
’
ve thought of that before you left
me behind years ago and slept with every other woman in existence since then. I
can never trust you again. Even if I wanted to.
”
Shoving
past me, she made her way into the building.

Head drooping, I stared at the sidewalk for a moment,
sighing heavily. I
’
d fucked things up with her so
badly she didn
’
t even want to be around me now.

How the hell was I going to fix this?

“Still No Z McCartney! Will Hollywood’s Favorite
Star be in Attendance at the Movie Buff Film Festival?”

~
Hype
Magazine
~

Chapter Seven

Aubrey

“
Hi,
sweetheart,
”
my mom, Daphne, said as I
entered the house.
“
How was work?
”

“
Brutal,
”
I replied, going to hug her briefly
before plopping down onto the sofa and dropping my purse at my feet.
“
I
’
m
so drained I feel like I could sleep for a week. How was your day?
”

“
It
was great. I had lunch with your dad and some of our old friends from Montana.
Do you remember John and Christine Bell? They were the ones who relocated to
Montana from Australia and bought the Owen
’
s old farm during your senior year
of high school.
”

Thinking back, I remembered meeting them on a couple
occasions.
“
I do. I didn
’
t really get to know them before I
moved, but the few times I did have the opportunity to talk to them they seemed
very nice. What were they doing here in LA?
”

“
They
came to see Disneyland. They
’
ve never been and they loved it! I
was so happy when they called and asked us to lunch. We got quite close after
you moved away. They
’
re such wonderful people. I wish
you could
’
ve seen them, too. I
’
m afraid we bragged a lot about you
and Dustin.
”

I smiled, laughing slightly.
“
You brag to everyone about Dustin
and me. I
’
m surprised you don
’
t carry pictures to show.
”

“
I
do. You just don
’
t know about them.
”
She grinned and winked at me.

“
Speaking
of the monster, where is he?
”
I asked, glancing around.

“
He
’
s at the park with your dad. Brent
finished a new model airplane and they went to test it out together. You should
’
ve seen Dustin
’
s face. It was priceless. You would
’
ve thought it was Christmas
morning, he was so excited to try flying it.
”

“
Well,
hopefully he doesn
’
t wreck this one. It always makes
me nervous when dad lets him fly those planes. They
’
re so expensive, and aren
’
t really made to be played with by
a nine year old boy.
”

“
I
know, but he loves bonding with his grandson. The planes are just things. It
’
s the relationship your dad loves.
I swear he
’
d adopt that kid if you
’
d let him.
”

“
Not
a chance. I love my son too much to give him up.
”
Joy
burst through my heart just thinking of him.

My boy. He was my life. Everything revolved around
him. But even with the joy, there was still sorrow. Seeing Zane again had
brought the past up again so strongly. He had no idea that he had a child, or
that his adorable little boy looked just like him. No, I
’
d never forgotten Zane McCartney. I
’
d seen his face every single day,
mirrored in the face of our son.

Guilt ate at me every minute I spent with Zane now. I
was intentionally keeping my secret from him. I hadn
’
t told him the rest of the story
—
that I
’
d moved to LA after finding out I
was pregnant. The day I
’
d caught him with those other
girls, I
’
d been coming to tell him the news
in person. I expected him to be shocked, but I also expected him to welcome me
with open arms. I
needed
him
to welcome me with open arms.

My parents had been furious with me, demanding that I
either get an abortion or put the baby up for adoption. The disappointment in
their eyes was more than I could bear. Refusing their suggestions, I left,
after a very heated argument with them, hastily packing my bags and headed for
Los Angeles and the love of my life.

And then my heart had been completely obliterated.
After seeing Zane with those girls, I couldn
’
t
get the image out of my mind. I kept waiting for him to call me again, to
write, or something, but nothing ever came. He was simply gone
—
without a word.

Anger had consumed me. I knew I needed to tell him
about the baby and my decision to keep it, but his success rapidly exploded
shortly afterward. Suddenly he was everywhere, and Hollywood fell in love with
him. Rumors about his wild party life were all over, on television and magazine
covers, and a gorgeous, exotic looking starlet appeared on his arm. It didn
’
t take long for them to be branded
as Hollywood
’
s new it couple.
“
Zauren
”
the tabloids called them, both
their names, Z and Lauren put together.

It killed me a little more every time I saw the two of
them, splashed across magazine covers everywhere. And while part of me was
happy he was achieving such great success, I was hurt that he was doing it
without me
—
and especially while I was
struggling so badly.

However, the more I watched him, the more it began to
occur to me that this was not the kind of life I wanted to raise a child in.
Zane McCartney was not this
“
Z
”
person
I kept seeing everywhere. It was as if the change in his name changed him, too.

Since my relationship with my parents seemed damaged
beyond repair, I chose to stay. I spent my first weeks in LA in a seedy hotel
because it was cheap and rented by the week. The stale smell of old cigarettes
permeated everything so badly that I constantly threw up with morning sickness.
I was sure people thought I was on drugs, too, since I wasted away to
practically nothing. Between the pregnancy and my broken heart, there wasn
’
t much desire to eat.

When I did feel good, I spent all my time looking for
a job. I was thrilled when I finally landed a position flipping burgers at a
fast food restaurant. I didn
’
t tell them I was pregnant either,
because I was afraid they wouldn
’
t hire me. Cooking meat almost
killed me, though. It seemed like I was constantly running to the bathroom to
puke some more. Finally the manager pulled me into his office and asked me what
was going on. I fessed up and told him the truth amid a flurry of sobs.
Thankfully he took pity on me and let me keep the job, even allowing me to wear
a mask, which greatly filtered the smells for me.

“
What
’
s the matter, sweetie?
”
Mom asked, drawing me out of my
painful memories.
“
You
’
ve
seemed so down this past week
—
like something is eating at you.
”

Releasing a breath, I contemplated what to say. I hadn
’
t spoken a word to my parents about
treating Zane all this time. They hated him worse than I did. And Dustin had no
idea who his father was. He knew his dad was an old boyfriend of mine that had
moved away and his name was Zane, but that was it. Since everyone in Hollywood
called Zane
“
Z,
”
Dustin
had never made the connection, something I was eternally grateful for
—
but now I wasn
’
t sure what to do.

Seeing Zane again made me want to tell him the truth,
but I also didn
’
t want to give him any kind of
shock that might jeopardize his recovery. The longer I was around him, however,
the worse the guilt was eating at me until I was beginning to feel consumed by
it. Apparently my ever-observant mother was picking up on that.

“
I
have some things going on at work that are causing me some significant stress.
I
’
ll get it figured out.
”
I was purposely vague. Mom was good
at ferreting things out of me.

“
Is
it anything you can talk to me about?
”
she asked, and I knew she
wanted to help, but she knew the rules, too.

I shook my head.
“
Not without breaking patient
confidentiality. It does have something to do with me personally, though. I
’
m just not sure how to deal with
it.
”

“
Can
you tell me anything without naming names, so it won
’
t break confidentiality? I just
want to help if I can. I don
’
t like to see my pretty girl
suffering.
”

Biting my lip, I considered what I could say.
Technically the thing I was having a hard time with had nothing to do with Zane
being in recovery, just the fact that I was seeing him every day and my guilty
conscience wouldn
’
t let me rest because of the secret
I carried.

I was a stickler for rules, however, never discussing
my patients with my parents
—
or anyone outside of work.
Everything I did was strictly on a need to know basis and through proper
channels. Privacy was a big important issue.

“
I
’
m not sure I can say anything right
now, Mom. I want to, though. I need to be able to talk to someone about all
this. I
’
m just so confused right now.
”
Curling the end of my ponytail
around my finger, I toyed absently with my hair as I tried to think of a
solution.
“
Let me see if I can get permission
to talk to you about this first. Maybe we could do dinner together tomorrow
after I get off work?
”

“
That
works for me. And if you can
’
t talk about it, just know that I
’
m here for you whenever you need
me. Even if it
’
s just to lend a shoulder for you
to lean on.
”

“
Thanks,
Mom. You
’
re the best.
”
I meant every word. Despite our
differences when I
’
d first moved to LA, my parents
hadn
’
t been able to stay away long. I
’
d called my mom when I
’
d gone into labor and told them
where I was and what had happened between Zane and me. She and my dad had
rushed to my side, desperate to mend fences and help out.

Seeing their new grandson had been the final thing to
help repair our relationship. Since I had no desire to return to Montana, they
went home and sold their farm and moved here so they could help me out. Mom had
watched the baby while I
’
d gone to nursing school to get my
license. Several years later, I had the opportunity to buy the house right next
door to theirs. It worked out great for them to pick Dustin up from school
every day and watch him for me until I could get home. We were a strong family
unit, but now all that was hanging in the balance again.