Authors: Lao She
M
A WEI
went back to the antiques shop to see Li Tzu-jung. ‘Sorry, Mr Li. You must be starving. Where shall we eat?’ asked Ma Wei.
‘Call me Li. Don’t worry about the Mr,’ said Li Tzu-jung, grinning. By now, he’d finished tidying and cleaning the display shelves. He’d also washed his face, which made his brown cheeks even shinier. ‘There’s a cafe round the corner where we can get a bite to eat.’ As he said this, he locked up the shop and led Ma Wei off to lunch.
The cafe was across the way from St Paul’s, and through the windows the front of the cathedral and the statues outside it were clearly in view. A crowd of old women and small children were standing round the statues, feeding the pigeons with grain and bread.
‘What’ll you have?’ asked Li Tzu-jung. ‘I usually have a cup of tea, with a couple of slices of bread and a piece of cake. This is about as basic a cafe as you can find in London, and if you want a posh meal, you won’t get it here. I can’t afford posh meals though.’
‘Whatever you feel like, order the same for me.’ Ma Wei had no idea what to ask for.
Li Tzu-jung ordered his usual tea and bread, but got some fried sausages extra for Ma Wei.
All the small cafe’s tables had marble tops and iron legs, the surfaces polished to a gleaming sheen. Big mirrors hung on the walls, which gave the room a bright and cheery interior and a strong impression of being crowded and busy with custom. The cakes, bread and so forth were displayed in a cabinet just inside the door, and regardless of whether the food was tasty or not, it at least looked good. The waitresses were all young girls, and very pretty too. Each wore a trim short skirt and a white pleated mop-cap. They shot to and fro like shuttles as they served the tea and food, their cheeks as shiny and rosy as the red apples in the display cabinet.
The customers were practically all from nearby shops. Everyone held an evening paper in their hands – the London evening papers come onto the streets not long after nine o’clock in the morning – and was absorbed in the horseracing or dogracing news. All you could hear in the room was the swishing sound of the girls running back and forth and the rattle of knives and forks. Hardly anybody was talking. As long as the English have got a newspaper to read, they don’t feel any need to converse. Ma Wei watched closely to see what everyone was eating. By and large, they took a cup of tea with some bread and butter, and there was hardly anyone eating a meal with any vegetables in it.
‘So this is regarded as the lowest class of restaurant?’ asked Ma Wei.
‘Doesn’t it look like it?’ replied Li Tzu-jung, keeping his voice down.
‘It’s very clean,’ mumbled Ma Wei, recalling to himself the lower grade of cafes in Peking, and the black muck of the long tables with the big bowls on them.
‘Oh yes, the English spend more time on presenting their food than they do eating it. Anyone here with a sense of decency prefers eating a bit less to having to put up with a dirty restaurant. We Chinese are real eaters, and we don’t bother about the state of the place where we’re eating. Net result: the ones who eat a bit less in a clean place are healthy and strong, while those who eat smoked chicken and roast duck in a filthy hole get thinner and thinner the more they eat —’
Before he’d finished, a girl brought them their food. As they ate, they conversed in subdued tones.
‘Li, old fellow, this morning my father spoke rather —’ began Ma Wei very earnestly.
‘Forget it,’ interrupted Li Tzu-jung. ‘Aren’t all old people like that?’
‘Are you still willing to help my father out?’
‘Without me, you’d never manage. And from my point of view, I’ve got to earn some money. So don’t worry – we’ve a long and fruitful partnership yet!’
Not thinking, Li Tzu-jung laughed rather loudly, and the old men eating opposite shot him a glare. He hastily lowered his head and chewed a mouthful of bread.
‘Are you still studying, then?’ Ma Wei asked.
‘You can’t get by without studying.’As he said this, Li Tzu-jung nearly laughed again. He was so convinced of his own wit that no matter what others thought he’d always beat them to the laugh. ‘Look here; eat up quick, and we’ll go back and have a talk in the shop. There’s a lot to be said, and you can’t enjoy yourself here. The old blokes are doing nothing but glaring at me.’
The two of them hurriedly finished their meal and drank up their tea, then Li Tzu-jung stood up and asked a girl for their bill. As he took it, he pointed to Ma Wei.
‘Don’t you think he’s handsome?’ he said. ‘He just told me he thought you were a right looker!’
‘Get away with you!’ said the young girl with a smile. Then she glanced at Ma Wei, clearly flattered that someone had found her attractive.
Ma Wei smiled back. From the way Li Tzu-jung spoke to her, it seemed obvious that they knew each other quite well, probably because he was a regular customer. Li Tzu-jung fished out two pennies and carefully placed them under the plate as a tip. He settled the bill for their meal, but asked Ma Wei for ten pence for his share. Ma Wei paid on the spot.
‘That’s the English way. No standing on ceremony with one another,’ said Li Tzu-jung, smiling and taking the money.
They both returned to the shop, where fortunately there were no customers waiting. As if the floodgates had suddenly been released, Li Tzu-jung’s speech flowed forth in mighty rivers.
‘Look here, I’ll give you a tip: when you’re drinking tea, keep the noise down. Just now when you were drinking, didn’t you notice those old blokes glaring away at you? When the English blow their noses, they put all their force into it, but when they drink, they don’t make a sound. It’s just a custom of theirs – right and wrong doesn’t come into it. But if you don’t toe the line, you’re a barbarian. And they look down on us Chinese enough even without that!
‘Don’t scratch your head or clean your nails or belch when in the presence of others. I know – so many rules of etiquette! Some of our famous gentlemen-scholars who study abroad just completely ignore these things. But since the foreigners already turn up their noses at us, I don’t see the point of doing one’s best to make them dislike us all the more.
‘I didn’t bother about such things myself at first, but I learnt my lesson fast. I went with a friend once to someone’s house for a meal. After we’d finished, I was feeling nicely satisfied, so I raised my chin and let out a long, deep belch. Well, that did it – a young lady next to me at once turned her face away and said to my friend, “People without manners should do us all a favour and stay home!” The person who’d invited us to the meal was an old clergyman, an ex-missionary in China, and he immediately grabbed his chance. “Now you see why we have to go and teach in China,” he told the girl. “They need us to teach them proper table manners.” What could I do? Stay put? I was rigid with panic. Clear off? But I felt that’d be awkward too – it was mortifying! Of course there’s nothing in a belch, but if you do it they really treat you like a savage. Just watch it, Ma, old lad. Don’t mind me telling you, do you?’
‘Oh no,’ said Ma Wei, sitting down.
Li Tzu-jung took a seat too, and continued. ‘Right, I ought to tell you my history. I started off as a student studying abroad on a scholarship from the
Shantung
provincial government. First I went to America and got a BA in Commerce. After I’d got my I found myself in a tight spot. There was fighting going on in China, which cut off any hopes of my getting any more money from the authorities there. I’m from a poor family, and it wasn’t any use asking my folks for money. So I scraped around here and there, and got together enough cash to see me to England.
‘Of course, I knew that the cost of living was higher in England than in France, but I also knew that if I got a job in England the wages would be higher. And England’s a trading nation, so I thought I could probably learn something there. And I’ll confess there was another reason. I really couldn’t afford to go out with Parisian women. Here in London, nobody apart from prostitutes has any time for the Chinese, so I thought I might be less troubled by temptations!’ At this point, Li Tzu-jung broke into a guffaw, and raked his hair vigorously.
‘Li, old chap, didn’t you just say you shouldn’t scratch your head in company?’ said Ma Wei jokingly.
‘You’re not a foreigner, though! I certainly wouldn’t do it in the presence of a foreigner. Where was I? Ah, yes. When I got to London, there was still no money to be had from the government at home, and I was properly desperate. I lived in the East End of London for about a month, and apart from a few books and the clothes I stood in, I was really skint.
‘Eventually the police took pity on me, and found me a job doing a bit of interpreting for Chinese people. The Chinese workmen here have got very limited English, and the police pull them in for questioning at the drop of a hat. And even the best Chinese person is forever bent on lawsuits. Must be why they say “Never get reincarnated as a Chinaman”, eh? So I did the rounds as an interpreter. My Cantonese isn’t actually that good, but I could get by with it – better than the English police, anyway. If I hadn’t been scared I’d die of starvation, I’d never have taken on a job like that, but when hunger stares you in the face, you don’t have much choice. And when I saw all my fellow countrymen getting mucked around and made fun of by the English police, well, I wanted to do it. I was in the same boat as those workmen – helpless. All I managed from the job was three or four pounds a month, but that was enough to see me through.
‘Later, I gradually got into doing translations into Chinese, for ads and that sort of stuff. That was quite a good wicket. The firms that sell goods in China aren’t small ones, of course, so I’d always make a decent pound or two from translating an ad. Combining my two incomes I managed to get by, but I still couldn’t afford to study. Luckily, your uncle was looking for a shop assistant, one who knew something about business and could speak English. I went to see him, and clinched the job straight away.
‘Ask yourself: how many of our young gentlemen studying abroad would stoop to working in a shop, earning themselves a couple of pounds a week as an errand boy and odd-job man? But when I got my hands on that extra two pounds, it was like I’d gone to heaven. So things were all right then – I could study. I do the interpreting and work in the shop during the day, and attend my university lectures in the evenings. What do you think of that, Ma, my old lad?’
‘Can’t have been easy. You’re a good sort, old Li.’
‘Not easy? Nothing comes easy in this world.’ Li Tzu-jung plonked his feet heavily as he stood up, wearing a decided look of self-satisfaction.
‘What’s the least one person could get by on per month in London?’ asked Ma Wei.
‘Twenty pounds, minimum. But I’m an exception. All the time I’ve been here, I’ve never once eaten a Chinese meal. It’s not that I couldn’t afford one, but I’m afraid that once I had one, I’d never be able to stop.’
‘Are there some Chinese restaurants here then?’
‘Oh yes! Cooking food and washing laundry, those are the two great Chinese overseas enterprises.’ Li Tzu-jung sat down again. ‘Wherever the Japanese go, there are Japanese brothels. Wherever the Chinese go, there are little restaurants and laundries. The difference is that besides the brothels the Japanese have also got steamships, banks and big businesses. The Chinese haven’t got any industry apart from cuisine and clothes-washing. That’s why the Japanese are forever looking smug while we never dare to straighten our shoulders! But the Europeans and Americans look down on the Japanese and Chinese equally. The only difference is that they call the Japanese “Japs” behind their backs and flatter them to their faces, while they say nasty things about the Chinese directly to them; it’s downright uncivil.
‘But let’s not go on about that. If we can’t sort ourselves out, it’s no good blaming others. Ask me about something else, will you? It’s enough to send me into a fury.’
‘Well, you ought to be telling me something about the shop.’
‘Right. Listen – your uncle was really on the ball, a very smart man indeed. He didn’t just rely on selling antiques. Antiques aren’t like bread: you can’t expect regular day-to-day sales with them. He dealt in stocks and shares as well, and bought various goods for merchants in Canton. This shop barely managed to earn him two hundred pounds a year, after all the overheads were paid. The two thousand pounds or so that he left you all came from his other dealings. Now you’ve inherited his money, the best thing you could do would be to expand the business. If you really throw yourselves into it, you might have some hope of making a quid. But if you just stick with the shop as it is, I’m afraid you won’t even earn enough for your own living. And once the two thousand pounds has been frittered away, you’ll be in a real fix.
‘What you’ve got to do, Ma, old chap, is persuade your father to decide right now to expand the business or to open up another little line of trade. My view is that it’d be best to go in for this same business in a bigger way, because there aren’t any fixed prices with curios and antiques, and with a bit of luck you can earn a few hundred pounds on one item alone. Of course, it all depends on your skills and ability, but it’s certainly not easy opening up any other line of business. Look at the small shops along this street: tobacconists, pubs and so on. They’re all branches of a few big companies whose capital runs into millions. Trying to compete against them with only hundreds or even a couple of thousand pounds behind you would be a sheer waste of effort, wouldn’t it?’
‘My father’s no businessman, and it’s very difficult to discuss anything with him.’ Ma Wei frowned, and his face had gone a bit paler, too.
‘Seems like the old gentleman’s got a mandarin complex, which makes things difficult. If the Chinese can’t smash up their obsessions with mandarin values and jobs in government, they’ll never get anywhere.’ Li Tzu-jung paused for a moment, then continued. ‘Luckily, there’s us two as well. We’ll just have to put pressure on him to get to it. Otherwise the shop’ll start running at a loss, and as soon as that happens, your future will really be in danger. But look here – what are you planning on doing?’