Mrs. Lieutenant: A Sharon Gold Novel (37 page)

Sharon smiles. "And now I have, thanks to you
guys."

"I have one piece of good news," Donna says.
"My brother was just rotated to the rear. He'll spend his second
six months in Saigon. It's not the safest place, but it's better
than being a forward observer."

Sharon leans closer to Kim on the side away
from Squeaky. "I got you a little gift."

Sharon lifts a rectangular package wrapped in
cobalt blue paper out of her purse. "Don't open it until you're on
the road."

Lines zig zag across Kim's vision. This
saying good-bye is harder than she imagined. And now a gift.

She hugs both Sharon and Donna. "Thank you,
thank you for everything. I'll never forget you."

Wendy hugs Sharon and Donna too, then
disengages the car keys from Kim's hand. Wendy mashes her suitcase
into the filled backseat of Kim's car. Then Wendy slides in behind
the wheel, motioning Kim with Squeaky to get into the passenger
seat.

Kim waves to Sharon and Donna. She doesn't
look at the apartment.

Kim sits with the package in her lap, staring
straight ahead. She doesn't allow herself to think of her arrival
here with Jim.

Her fingers rub the package. A gift for her!
Growing up, the only gift she received each year was from the
church's orphan Christmas gift drive. When she was little she hoped
for a doll, then when she was older a necklace or bracelet or even
some records. What she got, wrapped in green and red or gold and
silver paper, were socks or religious books or hair ribbons.

Once, when she was 16, she received a pink
angora cardigan. "Somebody's cast-off!" the foster mother said. Kim
didn't care. The sweater so soft and pretty, and all hers. She
didn't even let Diane wear it.

Kim slips her finger into the taped opening
of the wrapping paper and lifts the paper off. That same foster
mother insisted that wrapping paper be removed carefully so that it
could be reused. Now Kim smooths the paper on her lap and then
opens the plain white rectangular box.

A silver picture frame – the same size as her
broken frame. Kim's hands shake as she reaches for the card taped
to the glass.

Kim – May you use this gift to preserve a
photo from your past or to display a photo of your future. I'll
miss you. With love, Sharon

Her tears splash onto the paper, causing
whitish streaks on the cobalt blue. Wendy keeps here eyes on the
road, saying nothing.

Kim stares at herself in the reflection from
the new piece of glass, her cheeks blotched with red and her
eyelids puffy above watery eyes. One curl strand sticks to her damp
forehead. She remembers the children's rhyme from kindergarten – a
favorite of her teacher Miss Jefferson:

There once was a girl with a curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good she was very very good,

But when she was bad she was horrid.

If Kim had been good would this have happened
to her?

“
Your dress will be determined by the time of
day.”
Mrs. Lieutenant
booklet

After hours of driving Wendy and Kim arrive
at Kim's sister's apartment. Diane clasps Kim, holding her close,
then turns to Wendy. "Come on in," Diane says.

Wendy searches Diane's face for any surprise
about seeing a black person with Kim. There is none. Kim must have
warned her.

"I'll call my parents and they can come get
me tonight rather than tomorrow," Wendy offers. "That's if my
staying for the funeral is a problem."

"I want you to stay," Kim says. Diane smiles
her agreement.

They carry Kim and Jim's possessions into the
apartment. Kim places the gift from Sharon on the coffee table.

They sit around the kitchen table, drinking
iced tea.It's obvious to Wendy that Diane and Kim, with their
similar coloring and facial features, are sisters.

"How did it happen? You didn't say on the
phone," Diane says.

"A training accident," Kim says, staring down
at Squeaky in his cage on the floor.

Wendy glances briefly at Kim’s face. Yes,
it’s better this way. There’s no need to tell the truth when the
truth will cause more anguish.

After dinner Wendy calls Nelson collect to
tell him they arrived. Then she drives with Kim and Diane to the
funeral home.

Cars fill the small lot to the side of a
large white frame building. It looks like an antebellum manor house
surrounded by magnolia trees whose branches beckon them
forward.

A carpeted hall leads past the viewing rooms.
Diane stops outside a door halfway down the hall. Then the three
women walk through the open door.

Inside Wendy looks at the circle of white
faces. Are they whispering about her or about Jim's death?

Jim's coffin lid is closed. "It's probably
not open because he doesn't look so good," Diane whispers to Wendy
as everyone hugs on Kim.

"This is my friend from the army, Wendy
Johnson," Kim tells a middle-age woman in a black dress and a
middle-age man in a black suit standing next to her. "Wendy, these
are Jim's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Benton." Neither Benton offers a
hand.

Wendy and Diane stand at Kim's side for the
better part of an hour, listening to the Bentons' friends murmur at
Kim. When Kim turns to Diane and says, "Please, let's go home,"
they leave.

Kim gets ready for bed while Wendy and Diane
sit together in the living room. Diane looks at her watch and says,
"We'd better go to bed too. We have to get up early. I’ll get the
sheets for the couch."

Wendy stretches a white sheet across the
couch as Diane heads towards the bedroom to share the double bed
with Kim.

At the bedroom door Diane turns around.
"Thanks for helping Kim. I know she appreciates it."

**

In the morning they eat breakfast before
driving to the church. "It's not too hot yet," Wendy says.

"In another hour it'll be hot enough to fry
an egg on the sidewalk," Diane says.

Kim slides her eggs around her plate. She
looks up. "I wish Sharon and Donna were here too. I'm sorry I told
them not to come." There's a catch in her voice.

"Their thoughts will be with you today,"
Wendy says, visualizing the four of them standing together. Just
what this small Southern town needs. A black, a Jew and a Puerto
Rican alongside one of their own.

"It's time to go," Diane says.

Outside the church more people hug on Kim.
Wendy stays a few steps behind, letting Diane guide Kim through the
throng of people.

A car engine sliding to a stop on the gravel
road causes Wendy to turn around. Surely the yellow Fiat is a
mirage brought on by the heat and dust.

Sharon and Donna climb out of the car.

Wendy touches Kim on the sleeve, and Kim
turns in the direction Wendy indicates. Kim pulls away from Diane
and runs back towards the churchyard gate. Screams and sobs trail
her.

Sharon and Donna wrap their arms around Kim
who buries her head in their embrace.

"How come you’re here?" Wendy says as she
joins them.

"We had to come," Sharon says.

"Kim, we have to go in," Diane says, tugging
on her sister's arm.

As Wendy walks back up the path behind the
others, she glances at Jim's parents waiting outside the church
door. Wendy would swear Jim's parents are surprised that Kim has
such good friends, friends who would drive all the way here to be
with her today. Even if they are a black, a Jew and a Puerto
Rican.

Inside the church Kim sits in the front pew
with the Bentons and Diane while Wendy, Sharon and Donna sit in the
pew right behind Kim. Even inside the humidity causes perspiration
pools around Wendy's neck. Sharon and Donna sit on either side of
her. Is this the first time Sharon has been in a church?

At least the stares at their row can't only
be for her; some of the curiosity must be for Sharon and Donna
too.

Into the humid air the preacher talks of the
sacrifice of young men during wartime. "Jim Benton is one more fine
American who gave up his life in the service of his country."

Wendy imagines Nelson lying in Jim's coffin,
then shuts her eyes to banish the mental picture.

"I knew this young man well," the preacher
continues. "He came to church regularly. And when he married, his
wife Kim also became active in our church. We will all miss
him."

At the end of the service Sharon leans over
the front seat. "Kim, may I ask the minister permission to speak at
the cemetery?"

"If you want," Kim says. Her sister leads her
out into the sunlight.

"He's called a preacher, not a minister,"
Wendy whispers to Sharon.

Sharon steps over to speak to him.

At the cemetery Diane and Wendy stand on
either side of Kim, their arms linked through hers. Sharon and
Donna stand behind them. The sun explodes needles of heat as the
preacher recites the 23rd Psalm:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death,

I will fear no evil…

As the preacher recites these words, Wendy
visualizes a Vietnamese jungle valley between two low mountains,
the tranquility of green grass below blue sky. Then the scene
cracks apart with rifle fire and mortars and men screaming.

With her free arm Wendy wipes her eyes with a
handkerchief. Donna has the comfort that her first husband died a
hero for his country. Kim doesn't have that comfort. Jim died
because of his own weaknesses – jealousy and prejudice.

The preacher motions Sharon forward.

Sharon nods at the preacher. "Thank you for
allowing me to speak."

She next nods at the mourners. "I drove from
Ft. Knox to be here today," she says, then pauses.

"I don't know how many of you men have ever
served in the armed forces – or you women have been married to a
man who is serving. If you haven't personally experienced military
life, it's hard to imagine the pressures and expectations."

Sharon's gaze circles her audience. "Jim was
an officer, with all the additional obligations that brings. He
voluntarily made a commitment to fight for his country. And, if
necessary, he was willing to give his life to do that. This makes
him a hero."

Wendy looks at Donna to see her reaction to
Sharon’s words. Listening to Sharon, Wendy can almost believe Jim
is a hero.

"There are also obligations that come with
being an officer's wife. In fact, the army is fond of saying that
it just doesn't get one person with a married officer, it gets two
people – the officer and his wife.

"Kim Benton is an officer's wife. She
supported her husband 100 percent. She accepted her husband's
commitment and fulfilled her obligations in her new role."

Sharon hesitates. "There is such a thing as
quiet heroism. The kind that doesn't bring attention to itself. The
kind that just does a good job. That's Kim Benton – a true
hero."

The others look at Kim now as Sharon steps
back. Wendy's eyes sweep Jim's parents' faces. What do they think
of Kim being called a hero?

Is Kim a hero? If so, are they all heroes –
Sharon, Donna, and Wendy herself – for supporting their husbands'
commitment to serve their country, no matter what they as wives
feel about the army or the war?

The preacher motions to Kim. She leans
forward and throws a handful of dirt onto Jim's coffin. "I'm sorry,
Jim. So sorry," she whispers.

Afterwards they drive to Jim's parents'
house, a frame structure pinched in the middle of a quiet block.
The humidity hangs in the air as they walk towards the front
door.

Inside the room air conditioner can't cool
the cramped living room. Jim's mother offers around iced tea as
visitors perch on chairs fanning themselves.

Wendy stands next to Donna. "Why did you
bring the Fiat instead of your bigger car? Then I could have gone
back with you two."

"We didn't want your parents to be
disappointed at not spending time with you.”

Wendy nods as Sharon comes over to them.

"Sharon, did you really mean what you said
about Kim being a hero?" Wendy asks. "Or did you only say it to
make Kim feel better?"

Sharon looks around the room. Then she says,
"It is a kind of heroism for the wives of officers – and enlisted
men – to just get through each day without dwelling on what can
happen. If we thought about everything that could happen, we'd
never leave our houses or do anything except take care of our basic
needs."

Diane comes up to Wendy. "There are two ...
people just sitting outside in a car – a man and a woman. Must be
your parents."

Wendy looks out the window, then goes over to
Kim. Together they walk outside, followed by Sharon and Donna.
Wendy carries her suitcase she’s brought from Diane’s apartment. As
she comes down the sidewalk, her parents get out of the car.

Her parents smile at all of them and don't
seem surprised to see Sharon and Donna. Wendy's mama takes Kim's
hands. "I'm so sorry, my dear."

Her papa says, "May God watch over you."

Wendy hugs Kim, tears flowing down both their
faces. "Take care," Wendy says.

"Thank you for everything," Kim says.

Wendy waves good-bye as Kim stands between
the other two women. Sharon and Donna will drive back in time to
pick up Wendy at the Louisville airport tomorrow.

In the car, as soon as the women fade from
sight, Wendy's mother says, "Have you heard anything about Nelson
having to go to ... to Vietnam?"

"No, Mama," she says, "we haven't heard
anything." Which is true as far as it goes.

She can't bring herself to tell them that
Nelson is going Regular Army. She's promised Sharon that she'll
return and she doesn't want anything to weaken her resolve now.