Mrs. Roopy Is Loopy! (3 page)

When we came into the library the next time, a guy with a long beard came down the ladder from the tree house, wearing blue-jean overalls. He was carrying a shovel and a big sack. He had no shoes on his feet, but he was wearing a pot on his head. He looked funny, and he looked
a lot like Mrs. Roopy to me.

“Mrs. Roopy, why are you wearing a pot on your head?” I asked.

“Roopy?” the guy said in a funny voice. “You young 'uns must be confusin' me with some other feller. My name is Johnny Appleseed. It's the year 1800. I travel from
town to town plantin' apple trees most everywhere I wander.”

“You are not Johnny Appleseed!” Andrea called out. “You're Mrs. Roopy!”

“Ain't never heard of no Roopy,” the guy said, making his forehead all wrinkly. “Appleseed's the name. Plantin' apple trees is my game. This here's a darn big country, and I reckon folks are gonna need a heap of apples.”

No matter what we said, we couldn't convince the bearded guy with the pot on his head that he wasn't Johnny Appleseed. He read us a story about Johnny Appleseed and told us lots of stuff about apples.

“Did you know that folks have been eatin' apples for thousands of years?” Johnny Appleseed told us.

“They should chew faster,” I said, and everybody laughed.

Then Johnny Appleseed took us outside and helped us plant a real apple tree near the playground. Before we went back into school, we had apples for snack.

I can understand why he planted all those apple trees. I can understand why he was dressed funny. But what I don't understand is why he wore a pot on his head. That Johnny Applesauce guy was weird.

When we got back to class, I told Miss
Daisy all about what happened during library period.

“Do you still think books are boring, A.J.?” she asked me.

“Yes,” I said.

By this time, we weren't sure if Johnny Appleseed and George Washington had been to our school, or if it was just Mrs. Roopy dressed up in funny costumes. But we were sure of one thing.

Mrs. Roopy is loopy!

“We have to have proof,” Michael said.
“My father is a policeman, and he said that if you want to be sure of something, you have to have proof. He always says the proof is in the pudding.”

“What does pudding have to do with it?” I asked.

“Beats me,” said Michael.

“Your dad is weird,” I said.

“How are we going to prove that Mrs. Roopy is dressing up in funny costumes?” Ryan asked.

“We'll get her fingerprints!” Michael said, all excited. “That's what my dad does. Everybody in the whole world has different fingerprints. If we get Johnny Appleseed's fingerprints and then we get
Mrs. Roopy's fingerprints, I can have my dad test them. If they are the same fingerprints, then that will be proof that Mrs. Roopy was just pretending to be Johnny Appleseed!”

Me and Ryan agreed that Michael was a genius. The next time we had library, we brought a juice box with us, so we could get Mrs. Roopy's fingerprints.

But when we came into the library, all the lights were out and the shades were down. It was really dark. At first we thought the library was closed. Then we heard a noise. It came from the top of the tree house. We all looked up.

Somebody was coming down the
ladder. Whoever it was had on a spacesuit and was moving in slow motion.

Some music began playing over the loudspeaker. “The
Eagle
…has landed,” the astronaut said. Finally the astronaut reached the bottom rung of the ladder. It was hard to see a face through the space helmet.

“It's got to be Mrs. Roopy!” Andrea said.

“I'm not Mrs. Roopy,” the astronaut said. “My name is Neil Armstrong. It is 1969. I am about to
become the first human being to set foot on the moon.”

Slowly Neil Armstrong put one foot on the floor of the library.

“That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,” he said.

We tried to convince Neil Armstrong that he was really Mrs. Roopy dressed in a spacesuit, but he kept saying he had never heard of anyone named Roopy. Neil Armstrong spent the rest of the period showing us books about the moon and the sun and the stars and outer space. It was almost not boring, but not quite.

“Would you like some juice, Mr. Armstrong?” Michael asked, holding out the juice box.

“No thank you,” Neil Armstrong said. “I've got to be getting back to Earth now. And I believe you have to go back to Miss Daisy's class.”

Then he climbed up the ladder and into the tree house. Michael was disappointed that he didn't get Neil Armstrong's fingerprints.

When we got back to class, I told Miss Daisy all about Neil Armstrong stepping on the surface of the moon for the first time.

“Wow, that sounds exciting!” Miss Daisy said. “Do you still think books are boring, A.J.?”

“Yes,” I said.

The only way to prove that Mrs. Roopy was dressing up in silly costumes and pretending to be other people would be to get her fingerprints. Me and Ryan and Michael were determined to get them the next time we had library.

“When do we have library this week?” we asked Miss Daisy.

“Oh, there is no library this week,” she said. “The whole school is celebrating Nursery Rhyme Week in our classrooms.”

“Oh man!” I said. “We wanted to go to the library.”

“Yeah,” agreed Michael and Ryan.

Miss Daisy looked all surprised. She put her hand on my forehead the way my mom does when she thinks I have a fever.

“Are you sick, A.J.?” Miss Daisy said. “There must be something wrong with you if you want to go to the library. Didn't you say all books are boring?”

“They are,” I said. “I just want proof that Mrs. Roopy was pretending to be George Washington, Johnny Appleseed, and Neil Armstrong. We have to
get her fingerprints.”

“Oh, don't be silly,” Miss Daisy said. “Mrs. Roopy is a perfectly normal lady.”

Miss Daisy took out a big fat Mother Goose book. She opened it and was about to start reading when this weird-looking girl skipped into the classroom. She was all dressed up in a puffy dress and she was holding a big cane.

“It's Mrs. Roopy!” we all shouted.

“I'm not Mrs. Roopy,” the girl said. “My name is Little Bo Peep. I seem to have lost my sheep. Do you know where I can find them?”

“Nope,” everybody said.

“Maybe they're in the dungeon on the
third floor,” I said.

Michael tried to get her fingerprints, but Little Bo Peep went skipping out of the classroom before he could get a juice box.

“That was weird,” Emily said.

“What kind of a name is Peep, anyway?” I asked.

Miss Daisy read us some nursery rhymes from the Mother Goose book. What kind of a name is Goose, anyway?

After a while, this other girl came running into our classroom. She was holding a bucket in her hand.

“It's Mrs. Roopy again!” we all shouted.

“Who are you now, Mrs. Roopy?” Emily asked.

“I'm not Mrs. Roopy,” the girl said. “My name is Jill. I ran up a hill with my friend Jack to fetch a pail of water. But Jack fell down and broke his crown. I went running after him, but now I have no idea where he is. Have you seen him?”

“Nope,” everybody said.

“Try the dungeon on the third floor,” I said.

“You must be thirsty from all that running,” Michael said. “Have some juice.”

“No time for that,” Jill said. “I've got to find Jack.” And then she ran out of the classroom.

After lunch we were at recess out in the playground when we noticed somebody sitting at the edge of the grass under a tree. We all ran over to investigate. It was Mrs. Roopy, of course, dressed up in another silly costume.

“Are you Little Bo Peep again?” Emily asked.

“Heavens, no!” said Mrs. Roopy. “My
name is Little Miss Muffet. It's a lovely day, so I thought I'd just sit on this tuffet and eat some curds and whey.”

“What's a tuffet?” I asked, trying to peek under Miss Muffet.

“What's a curd?” asked Ryan.

“Yuck,” Michael said. “Curds sound disgusting!”

“I'm going to throw up,” Ryan said. “That's even worse than what they serve in the cafeteria!”

“Wouldn't you rather have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?” I asked.

Andrea and Emily came over while we were talking with Little Miss Muffet. Andrea started to tell us what curds and whey and tuffets were, but she never got
to finish. This obviously fake spider came down from the tree over Miss Muffet's head. She took one look at it and ran back to school. Michael didn't even have the chance to get her fingerprints.

That lady is weird.

It went on like that for the rest of the week. All these nursery rhyme characters kept popping up with no warning
all over the school.

“Who are you now?” we would ask.

“I'm an old woman in a shoe. I have so many children I don't know what to do.”

“Maybe you should put some of them in the dungeon on the third floor,” I said.

In the next few days we were visited by Wee Willie Winkie, Georgie Porgie, Tommy Tucker, Simple Simon, Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater, and some guy named Jack who kept jumping over a candlestick for no reason at all. I guess it was the same Jack that girl Jill was looking for.

It was nonstop all week! I can't say for sure, but I'm pretty sure at least some of those nursery-rhyme characters were actually Mrs. Roopy.