Much Ado About Highlanders (The Scottish Relic Trilogy) (23 page)

O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place.

“I’m looking for my father. Have you seen him?”

The steward was coming into the corridor from the stairwell. Tess had been correct. The castle was a maze of wings and twisting passageways. Finding Robert was a blessing.

“Nay. That I haven’t. I’ve just come up from the Great Hall. I can tell you he wasn’t down there with the laird and your husband.”

“Do you have any suggestions where I might find him?” she asked, trying to remain patient.

The steward looked at her closely. “I should think the MacKay went off to his chamber to rest and prepare for tonight’s events. Would you like me to take you there?”

“If you please.”

“Aye, then. This way.” Robert pointed back the way she’d come.

It had all come to this moment, after a lifetime of being silent. Well, not exactly silent, she conceded inwardly. But in any event, it was time to face him. She would speak her peace or she would explode. Six months ago, he’d inflicted the deepest of wounds and she’d run away. No more. It was time she faced him and spoke her peace. She wouldn’t start her life at Benmore dragging the past behind her.

“Shouldn’t you be doing the same?” Robert asked, casting a side-glance at her as they moved down a few steps into a different part of the castle. “Shouldn’t you be resting? You’ve been on the road for quite some time, I hear.”

“Thank you, but I’m fine.”

They walked along in silence for a while.

Any show of daughterly decorum be damned, she fumed. She would no longer do this. She would not build a marriage with Alexander while Magnus MacKay went around taking credit for it. She would not allow him to belittle her before her new family. And she would not tolerate his dark cloud over every joyful event of her life.

They climbed a few stairs into yet another part of the castle.

Robert paused by an alcove. A torch sputtered above them. “I was not always a steward, you know. In fact, that wasn’t my intention, at all, when I was a lad.”

Kenna stood waiting. When Lady Fiona had taken her through the castle, the place had seemed large, but it was clearly even more extensive than she’d thought. Still, she’d said the MacKay’s chambers were just in the wing beyond the next tower.

“I was squire to Lord Alec when he was sent to Dunvegan Castle on the Isle of Skye. Did you know my lord and lady met on that island?”

Kenna motioned with her head that she was listening.

“Aye, that was a wild place. But Lord Alec soon set it aright. With my help, of course. Nothing like the peaceful haven we handed over to Malcolm MacLeod a few years ago.”

“Of course,” she said shortly. “If we could continue—”

“Certainly. Certainly.”

Robert started along the corridor again.

“You know Malcolm is step-brother to your husband. Raised by Lord Alec and Lady Fiona, he was. Like he was one of their own. Have you met Malcolm’s wife, Jaime? She is another Macpherson.” The steward never waited for acknowledgment, but continued talking. “Daughter to Ambrose and Elizabeth. Jaime is a spirited lass, to be sure. Used to chase after Malcolm and call him ‘husband’ from the time she was just a wee sprite of a thing. Always saw herself as the ‘intended’ and never settled until he married her. A great adventurous tale, if it were to be told. Would you like to hear it?”

“Perhaps another time.” Kenna looked around her. This passageway looked familiar. “Robert, didn’t we just come through this hallway a few moments ago?”

“I don’t know that we did, mistress. Benmore is a braw, great place. And the way Lady Fiona had it rebuilt, everything looks the same, but finer.” Robert waved in the air and motioned her to follow. “As I was saying, when I was much younger, my one wish was to become a fighter, a warrior. I wanted nothing more than to go out and train with the men instead of looking after the low tasks that squires need to see to.”

“And did you train?” Kenna asked.

“Aye. In fact, Lord Alec encouraged me.”

“And?”

“A woeful tale, it is. I found out soon enough that I’d become afraid of heights. Not just afraid. Petrified. I’d look over the edge of some cliff or wall, and I couldn’t move. Felt like I was about to fall, or worse, leap off. It sounds mad, I know, but there it is.”

“That must have been difficult for you.”

“Aye. Devastating. Now, I know wielding a sword at the edge of some cliff is not necessary for a warrior, but it still made me question what exactly it was I wanted.”

“And what did you decide you wanted?”

“To belong. To be part of a family. To be with people who care about me. Folk I can care for. To be useful. That’s what mattered.”

As they entered another corridor, Kenna looked at the set of doorways. About halfway down, she spied an alcove with a sputtering torch.

“Stop right there,” she told him. “I recognize this. You are taking me down the same hallways.”

“Am I, mistress?”

“Why?” she asked, facing him. “Why are you doing this?”

The steward looked down at her. “Are you armed, Lady Kenna?”

“What?”

“Are you carrying a knife or a weapon of any kind?”

“Perhaps I am. Why?”

“May I see it?”

Kenna glared at him for a moment. She didn’t know what this was about, but she decided to go along. She cautiously drew her dirk.

“May I, if you please?”

He stretched out his hand, palm up. She placed the knife in it, and he inspected its blade and tested its weight and balance.

“A fine thing, this. I’ll hold onto it for the moment, if you don’t mind.”

She bristled. “What’s this all about, Robert?”

He motioned to the door they were standing in front of. “These are your father’s chambers. I’ll be standing guard with your dagger until you come out.”

The merry chase he’d set her on became clear. Robert had been trying to give her a chance to cool her temper.

“You’re a strange man.”

“Thank you, mistress,” he returned with a smile. “I’ve been called far worse.”

“And you talk too much.”

“A unanimous position, I believe.”

“But I hope you don’t think I’d stab a guest—never mind my father—inside the walls of Benmore.”

“I could never think such a thing, mistress.”

“Very well.” She held out her hand. “Then you’ll give me my knife back.”

“Nay. I won’t.” He took a step back and hid the weapon behind him. “I’ll tell you the honest truth, Lady Kenna. I saw the look in your face. And your reputation precedes you. I’ll just be holding it for you here.”

She considered wrestling him for it but decided there was no point in that. She wasn’t planning to use it, anyway. And he’d succeeded in diffusing her rage.

“We’re not finished with this, you and I.”

“As you wish, mistress.”

“You will not eavesdrop on our conversation.”

“I swear.” He nodded and crossed himself. “The wood is too thick, in any event. I’ve tried before.”

Kenna turned to the door, her mind clearer on what she wanted from this meeting with her father. She knocked once.

The library instead of the stables. Conversation in lieu of physical combat.

Alexander had known the traditional homecoming of two brothers teaming up against one would not be a wise move today.

James was upset, and while that didn’t generally stop them from showing their fraternal “affection,” he had a feeling that today someone might get seriously hurt.

And after forcing their brother to tell them what had transpired—the kidnapping from the tavern in Oban, the dungeons at Dunstaffnage, the involvement of Kester—Colin and Alexander exchanged a look, knowing they’d done the right thing.

“And you never suspected a thing?” Colin asked.

“Nay, the bloody chit is a wily thing. You wouldn’t know it to look at her.”

“Aye, she’s a right bonny lass,” Alexander put in, drawing a sharp look from James.

“But why?” Colin continued. “Why go through such a scheme?”

“I don’t know,” he spat. “But I guess she wanted to teach me a lesson. We hadn’t included her in the plan for Alexander and Kenna.”

“You never told her it was staged?” Colin said.

“Not until later.”

“So she turned the tables on you.”

James scowled and stalked to the fireplace.

“That is one smart woman,” Colin said admiringly. “Though it seems strange that she’d jeopardize her future, with her wedding so close.”

“Aye, she’s daft, for all I can tell,” James snapped.

“And you proposed marriage to her?” Alexander asked to make certain.

“Aye, to save her reputation.”

“And she didn’t accept.”

“Of course not,” James raged. “That was when she admitted it was all a lark.”

“A lark?” Alexander repeated.

“Aye,” he nearly shouted. “She was playing me for the fool.”

“And what did you do?” Colin asked.

“I bloody well lost my temper. What do you think?”

“You didn’t kill anyone?” Alexander asked cautiously.

“Nay. But Emily and her lackey Kester and all the rest of those bloody MacDougalls are lucky I’m not a violent man.”

“And no one was hurt?” Alexander had to make certain.

“Kester needed a lesson. But I left him with only a bleeding lip.”

“The bastard deserved a beating,” Colin agreed. “But it’s probably a good thing you didn’t seriously hurt or kill him. That would certainly have added a complication between our clans—”

“He’s fine,” James spat, sounding like he wished it were not so.

“And then you ran for home,” Colin suggested. “I mean, you stole the man’s horse to teach him a lesson.”

The murderous glare James sent their younger brother didn’t go unnoticed by Alexander. He guessed they weren’t being told the whole truth. The dark cloud hanging over the redheaded beast said James had been more than just a victim of a reprisal prank. He’d met Emily. She was a sensible young woman. And there’d certainly been something developing between her and James on the road. He’d seen that from the moment James pulled the hood from her head at the abbey.

“Where is Emily now?” Alexander asked. “Did she go back to Craignock for her wedding?”

“I have no idea where she is,” James hissed, moving to the window and staring out. “But she can burn in hell, for all I care.”

Alexander and Colin exchanged a look as their brother whirled to face them.

“And I don’t want to hear her bloody name ever again!”

Robert’s interference didn’t work.

The moment Magnus MacKay opened his door and she spied his sour visage, the fires of her anger ignited again. She remembered their last private meeting. The night before her wedding. A scared young woman reaching out to her father, hoping for help, guidance, assurance, some thread of hope to make her feel adequate in what she was embarking on. It had been a disaster.

That was not even a year ago, but that woman was long gone.

“I need a moment of your time,” she demanded, moving past him into the room.

She didn’t see walls or furnishings or the view from the windows. The surroundings floated about her in a reddish haze.

She whirled on her father. “Your behavior is reprehensible, and I’ve grown sick and tired of it.”

“My behavior?” he growled. “You show great nerve coming in here and accusing me of anything.”

“Lady Fiona told me of your latest underhanded interference in my life. I think you would have done just about anything to deliver me to Benmore.”

“It needed to be done.” His hard stare hid whatever emotion brewed inside, if any. “It was time to put an end to your nonsense. The Macpherson laird agreed. And James was invaluable in taking charge of the arrangements. Alexander Macpherson could have requested an annulment. That would have put an end to everything I planned.”

“
You
planned,” she repeated, tasting the bitterness in her mouth. “Aye, you told me, in no uncertain terms. Right before the wedding. For the good of the clan, you said. For the safety of your sons. Everything planned to make a better life for those
you
care about. And it didn’t matter that your plans included trading away a ‘woefully inadequate’ daughter before the buyer had a chance to discover the fraud she was.”

“I recall that night. I was angry with you. Tired of your attitude. I said those things to motivate you, to wake you up to the real world.” He shrugged and turned away, moving to the window and looking out. “I am clan chief of the MacKays. I do as I see fit. It was not for you to be questioning my decisions. You wanted me to stop the wedding.”

She’d been frightened. She’d gone to him, hoping against hope that her father had her well-being in mind, too.

Kenna thought of Alexander and how much she loved him now. She thought of the warmth and welcome of the Macphersons. Staring at her father’s back, she thought of how loveless and indifferent he was. This man had shut her out, treated her more coldly than he would treat a stranger. And that wasn’t for a day, or a month, or a year. That had been for all the years after her mother’s death.

Well, this was her home now. How different, how much better her life would be now. She had far more worthwhile things to do than waste even a moment trying to change his mind about her, or trying to win so much as an ounce of his affection.

“Very well. You did it. I’m exactly where you intended me to be. And I am staying. Benmore Castle is my new home. The Macphersons are my new clan, my new family. And the surprising thing is, they want me here. When have I ever felt that before?”

He half turned but did not look at her.

“You’ve delivered on your part of the bargain. The articles of agreement on the contract have been met. The Macphersons will honor their part.”

His gaze drifted to her, but his face showed no expression.

“And I want you to go,” she said, trying desperately to hide the hurt and anger in her voice. She wouldn’t cry in front of him. “Now. Immediately. Before the clan gathering tonight. Before I am presented to my new people.”

Her father said nothing.

“Do you hear me? Let me make this clear. I no longer want you in my life. I want no visits from you. Go and leave me to live in peace.”