Murder Had a Little Lamb (36 page)

When Mr. Stibbins’s decision to exhibit the paintings threatened to keep her from benefiting from her father’s fortune, it seemed highly likely that she would have done the exact same thing: find someone else to make the problem go away.

Someone like Beanie.

The certainty that Beanie had killed Nathaniel at her best friend’s insistence had barely formed in my head when I noticed that all the muscles in Max’s body had hardened. At first, I thought he was simply reacting to my own tension. But suddenly he let out a low growl.

Glancing down, I saw that we were being watched.

Esmeralda’s big, round eyes were just inches away, on the other side of the narrow opening between the door and the doorjamb. She’d been trotting after Beanie as she’d headed toward the door, but stopped when she’d gotten close to Max.

Max’s growl immediately erupted into a woof. Esmeralda, in turn, started barking.

“Esmeralda, what’s going on?” Beanie cried, sounding irritated.

At the same time, Campbell jerked her head up. Through the crack between the door and the jamb, I saw her cast her steely gaze in the direction of the closet.

“I have a feeling we’re not alone,” she said to Beanie as she rose from the couch.

She padded across the room in her bare feet. Without hesitating, she flung open the closet door.

“Dr. Popper!” Campbell cried, a look of shock crossing her face. “What are you doing here?”

Beanie’s expression became stricken the instant she spotted me. “Oh my God,” she said in a hoarse whisper. “You know everything, don’t you?”

Turning to Campbell, she cried, “She knows about Mr. Stibbins, Campbell! I was right! She figured out that we killed him!”

“I’m
not the one who killed him!” Campbell shrieked. “You are!”

“But it was your idea!” Beanie countered. “You’re the one who wanted him dead!”

“I have no idea what the two of you are talking about,” I insisted, holding up both hands. “I just came in here because Max was having such a hard time dealing with all those animals. Especially the rabbits—”

“She’s lying!” Campbell exclaimed. “Beanie, do something!”

The dark-haired girl’s eyes immediately darted
around the room. Something about their steely, calculating look told me that what she intended to do was locate a weapon—in other words, a quick, easy way to get rid of one more of Campbell’s problems.

I wasn’t about to let her do that. Especially when I saw her zero in on a large porcelain vase that looked as if it could inflict great harm if used correctly.

In fact, I was about to bolt. But then Campbell cried, “For God’s sake, Beanie, not
here!
Not with everybody right outside!”

So Campbell’s the brains of the operation, I thought. I have a feeling pulling off the Nathaniel Stibbins caper took the two of them working together.

But I didn’t have much time to work out the details of exactly how these two operated.

“Run, Beanie!” Campbell added, darting across the small sitting room and grabbing her sandals. “Let’s just get out of here!”

After slipping into them with amazing speed, she dashed toward the corridor with Beanie right behind. Snowflake and Esmeralda skittered after them, as if afraid they might miss out on something fun. All four of them were in such a hurry that they banged into one another, reminding me of those old Keystone Kops movies. In fact, the situation would have been funny if I wasn’t dealing with two people who had conspired to commit murder.

I put Max on the ground, grabbed his leash, and ran after them. Fortunately, there was only one way out.

Through the chapel.

Where hundreds of people, including two police officers, were gathered.

Campbell and Beanie were so frantic over having been found out that they didn’t have the sense to slow down and act as if everything was normal. Instead, they burst through the doorway that led back into the chapel, then suddenly stopped as they remembered that a service was taking place in the next room.

Actually, it looked as if that service had already ended. Reverend Evans no longer stood at the podium, and people had begun drifting outside onto the lawn. That meant that instead of the dogs and cats and other animals being safely tucked away in the pews, kept under control on leashes or securely held in their owners’ laps, they were cluttering up the aisles and half-blocking the doorway.

But even though people and animals were milling around, that didn’t mean the sudden appearance of two wild women running through the chapel didn’t bring all the activity to an immediate halt.

Especially when I yelled, “Stop them! They killed Nathaniel Stibbins!”

“I didn’t kill anybody!” Campbell screeched. “Beanie did it!”

The sea of shocked faces told me that most people didn’t understand what was going on. Yet all that running and screaming set off a chain reaction inside the chapel—not among the humans, but with the animals. A few of the dogs began barking wildly, which motivated plenty of other dogs to join in. It seemed as if every last one of them got caught up in the moment,
some leaping up and down and others straining at their leashes.

A few of the dogs, the ones whose owners hadn’t been holding on tightly enough, broke free. Suddenly at least a dozen dogs of all colors, shapes, and sizes were charging around the chapel, their paws skittering against the hard tile floor.

Most of them thought they were playing a wonderful game. The hefty English bulldog who’d been sitting next to me charged across the chapel, colliding with a Jack Russell mix that had been frolicking in the aisle, acting like a typical terrier by jumping right into the fray.

But dogs weren’t the only ones who took advantage of the sudden anarchy to escape from their owners. So did some of the cats.

Felines who only moments before had been curled up peacefully in their owners’ laps were suddenly streaking through the chapel, some of them hissing and snarling like creatures in a horror movie.

The commotion set the birds in attendance screeching. The chapel, formerly a relatively serene setting, suddenly sounded like the jungle, with high-pitched, ear-splitting screams cutting through all the barking and growling and yelling.

But just because the chapel had erupted into chaos didn’t stop the two miscreants in miniskirts from trying to make their getaway.

“It’s Beanie you want!” Campbell cried.

Her voice was loud enough to be heard over the cacophony comprised of the barking, screeching, and hissing of the animals and the accompanying yelps
and cries of their human counterparts. I watched in amazement as she demonstrated surprising agility by leaping over a good-size metal cage housing two dark brown Dutch rabbits that looked like chocolate bunnies come to life. “I didn’t do anything!”

“You planned the whole thing!” Beanie yelled back. “I never would have done it if you hadn’t insisted!”

“I never insisted!” Campbell screamed. “All I did was suggest that it would make my life a lot easier if he wasn’t around!”

By this point, the two uniformed cops were in pursuit of them. At least, they were trying their best. One of them nearly tripped over a pair of dachshunds who were watching all the action with wide brown eyes, one growling and one simply looking confused. The other cop, who was taller and leaner, deftly circumvented a massive sheepdog, his eyes half-hidden by his furry bangs, who was intent on sniffing a white French poodle.

But not all the dogs were taking advantage of the melee to interact only with one another. Some of them decided to join in the chase. Four or five excited canines circled around Beanie, while a loping Doberman kept pace with Campbell. He barked excitedly as he followed her through the doorway and out onto the front lawn, which was also littered with dogs and cats and small animals in cages, as well as their baffled-looking owners.

I, too, ran after Campbell, although I wasn’t nearly as fast or well coordinated as the Doberman and therefore couldn’t get nearly as close. Still, it turned out she didn’t get very far, thanks to those high-heeled
sandals of hers. That plus the fact that she was in such a hurry that she failed to notice the goat standing in her path.

“What the—oh-h-h-h!” she shrieked as she stumbled against the hefty animal. She went down instantly, tumbling onto the grass.

Fortunately, the goat was sturdy enough that she didn’t even seem to notice that she had just made contact with a projectile traveling at an unusually high speed. She just let out an annoyed bleat and went back to chomping on the stray program she’d found lying on the lawn.

Beanie was making much better time. I looked up in time to see her racing across the wide expanse of grass, heading for the parking lot.

It doesn’t matter if she gets away, I thought. Sooner or later the police will track her down. I might as well let her go.

The Saint Bernard who’d come to today’s blessing didn’t seem to feel the same way.

Beanie had almost made it to the parking lot when the huge lumbering animal caught up with her. Despite his massive bulk, the dog jumped up high enough to press his two gigantic front paws against her back, sending her sprawling onto the ground.

“Omph!” she cried as she hit the ground, twisting around as she fell so that she landed on her back.

The well-meaning Saint Bernard wagged his long, furry tail excitedly as he straddled her, meanwhile licking her face with a tongue the size of a slice of bologna. Even though Beanie squirmed around like a worm in an attempt at escaping from his affections,
she was still struggling without any success when the cops reached her.

“It wasn’t my idea to kill Mr. Stibbins!” Beanie squealed. “Campbell made me do it! She said she wouldn’t be my friend anymore if I didn’t! It’s all her fault!”

But the police officer didn’t seem to be listening. He was too busy handcuffing her.

•   •   •

“A Saint Bernard, huh?” Nick said with a chuckle. “Do you think it’s a coincidence that a dog who’s named after a saint caught the murderer—at a Blessing of the Animals, no less?”

“I wonder,” I replied with a smile.

I snuggled up closer, relishing the comfort of Betty’s living room couch. But even more, I was enjoying a quiet moment with my fiancé. Betty and Winston had taken advantage of the warm, sunny Saturday afternoon by driving Max, Lou, and Frederick to one of the local beaches for a run. That meant we had the Big House—our home now, at least for a while—all to ourselves.

“Then again,” I added, “a goat helped catch the other guilty party.” I sighed deeply. “I’m just glad Nathaniel’s killers were caught—no matter who was required to get the job done.”

Somberly, Nick said, “When two people conspire to commit murder, the way these girls did, they’re both punishable to the same extent.”

“The fact that both Beanie and Campbell confessed
in front of the cops, the press, and a couple of hundred people will certainly make Falcone’s job easier,” I noted.

“The fact that they’ve been caught should make your job a lot easier, too,” Nick observed. “I’m talking about the teaching part.”

“That hasn’t been hard at all!” I exclaimed. “I’ve actually been enjoying it a lot more than I expected.”

Thoughtfully I added, “Of course, I won’t have much of a class left anymore. Beanie and Campbell will be gone, of course. Then there’s Vondra. I’m really disappointed that she’s not at the Worth School anymore.”

“Maybe you can have a little talk with Dr. Goodfellow and Vondra’s mother,” Nick suggested.

“Maybe I’ll do that,” I replied. “Especially now that two of the school’s terrors are no longer students there.”

My cellphone rang, and I glanced at the caller ID screen as I pulled it out of my pocket.

“Speaking of terrors …” I muttered.

Into the phone, I said, “Hello, Dorothy. I’ve got good news. Nathaniel’s killer has been caught!”

“I know,” she said breathlessly. “Nick already called to tell me.”

I glanced over at him, aware that he could undoubtedly hear his mother even though he was standing a couple of feet away. He just grinned and shrugged.

“I knew I’d be able to help you solve that crime,” Dorothy continued. “I told you from the very start
that you should look at that fancy private school, didn’t I? And I gave you all the clues you needed. I seem to have a real nose for the crime business!”

Hell-o, I thought irritably. Do I get any credit at all?

“I feel so much better, knowing that I helped put Nathaniel’s murderer away,” Dorothy continued. “In fact, I was just about to celebrate with Henry. Henry, did you figure out a way to open that champagne yet? Be careful with that thing! You’re going to put your eye out!”

“So much for earning brownie points with your future mother-in-law,” Nick teased after I hung up.

“That’s okay,” I assured him with a smile. “There’s only one member of the Burby family I want to earn brownie points with, and believe me, it’s not my future mother-in-law.”

I was suddenly aware that his entire body tensed. “Hey, Jess?” he said casually.

“Umm?”

Without actually looking me in the eye, he said, “Speaking of the future, I just had an idea.”

Something about the offhanded way he was trying to sound—and the fact that he was doing a really bad job of it—made a lightbulb go off in my head.

“What’s your idea?” I asked, even though I was pretty sure I already knew the answer.

The huge grin he was wearing as he turned to me told me I was right.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I asked coyly.

“I am,” he replied somberly. “The town clerk’s office
is open on Saturday afternoons, and we have the blood test and the license—”

“And we have something even more important!” I cried. “We have the dress!”

•   •   •

“I told you I’d get around to using you one of these days,” I muttered as I walked up the steps of the huge, impersonal office building that housed the town clerk’s office less than two hours later.

It was only the second time in my life I could remember talking to a dress. Still, this dress deserved special treatment. Not only was it about to play a starring role in its second wedding in two weeks, it had also made it through a fire. True, it smelled a bit smoky. But that only showed how strong it was—and how determined to survive.