Authors: Veronica Heley
âHow long have you been working here?'
âNearly two years now.'
âI heard you say you were a working girl.'
Clemmie laid out the food, took the lid off her coffee to add sugar, and stirred it. âI support myself.'
Her cousin Trixie didn't? Perhaps Trixie would have to start now her mother, who'd been the moneymaker in the family, had departed?
Ellie bit into her egg sandwich. Luscious. Yum. âSo, tell me why I shouldn't inform the police that your mother is missing.'
âShe's not missing.'
âMislaid?'
Almost, a smile. A pretty, catlike smile that transformed her face. Clemmie had beauty and brains, but also charm. âShe needs to be quiet for a while, that's all.' But there was a hint of restraint there, and the smile quickly disappeared.
âMay I venture to suggest that she has not booked herself into a spa hotel as you claimed?'
A shrug. A sip of coffee. âYour guess is as good as mine.'
âI don't think so. I think you know all the secrets in your family.'
âNot all.' A note of pain?
âTell me.'
Another shrug. Silence.
Ellie hadn't had any Ribena for ever. She opened the container with difficulty ⦠all that cellophane wrapping! Was it still called cellophane nowadays? Perhaps it was called by another name? Clingfilm? No, not that. Ellie tackled the wrapping around the bent straw and pulled it straight. Eureka! Success! She forced the straw into the carton and sucked. Bliss.
Then she felt guilty. Did the drink contain more sugar than she ought to be consuming in twenty-four hours, or was it supposed to be healthy and to do you good?
She decided she didn't care. She was enjoying it. She said, âTell me about Gordon.'
âHe's not my father.'
âNo, I realize that. Blue eyes, brown eyes. And so on. You are very like your mother. She loves you dearly, and you love her. But you don't love Gordon, and I think ⦠have you moved out of the family home?'
A nod. âGordon doesn't care for me. But then, why should he? If I'd been blue-eyed and blonde without two ideas in my head, he'd probably have been able to accept me. But I don't look like him, I was born asking “why”, and I make up my own mind about things.'
âWhat things?'
âOh, what's important and what's not. Table manners. Lights out at ten o'clock. Answering back. Not being a willing slave.'
Ellie slurped Ribena. It really did taste good! How many years was it since she'd had some? âYou answered back?'
âIn spades.' A rueful laugh. âMum tried to tell me how to manage him. “Yes, sir. No, sir. Three bags full, sir.” That sort of thing. But I couldn't. I did try. Sometimes. But perhaps not very hard.' She smiled and a dimple creased her cheek. âI was a brat.'
Ellie laughed. âBut, a worthwhile person.'
âI made mistakes.' She was beginning to talk more freely. âLooking back, I can see I could have made things a lot easier for myself. With a bit of tact from me we could have got along much better. I do try now. Well, sometimes I try.' A shadow passed over her face. âThis week I've tried like mad! I didn't want to make things worse for Mum than they were, what with her missing Aunt Poppy and the funeral and all.'
Ellie replayed in her mind the moment when Gordon had lashed out at Clemmie. The girl had reached for the wheelchair. He'd not just brushed her away, but hit her with intent to hurt. Clemmie hadn't responded in any way. She'd frozen. Now Ellie remembered where she'd seen that reaction before. It was from a stoical child who had grown accustomed to being hit by her parents. Ellie's mind went back to her schooldays. Nobody had suspected abuse till one day the police had arrested a school friend's parents for murder. The parents had gone to jail.
So, was Clemmie used to being hit? Mm. Possibly.
The girl was still speaking. â⦠in the past, the rows we've had â¦! It used to upset Mum.'
Ellie said, âPeople who don't make mistakes don't usually make anything else.'
Clemmie sighed. âYes. I made mistakes. One very big one. I suppose I'd better explain. I went Interrailing with a friend, someone neither Gordon nor my mum liked; someone that they'd warned me against. We landed up in a small town in Greece. I had the cramps and went to bed early while he went out to a bar, got drunk and trashed the place. He ended up in jail and was told to pay a large fine or face a prison sentence. I hadn't enough cash on me to get him out. It was a frightening amount. Far more than my allowance for the year. He begged me to get a loan from a payday company and get him out. So I did. The rate of interest was frightening, but he promised to repay me as soon as he was released.
âWasn't I stupid to believe him? As soon as he was free I tried to talk to him about repayment, because I was in my first year at uni and on a student loan. He said I was just another rich girl, pretending to slum it when I had millions in the bank. I told him it wasn't like that, that I was on a strict budget. He didn't believe me. Or maybe he didn't want to believe me, to make himself feel better. He stormed off and didn't come back. I don't know where he spent that night, but next day he was all over another girl and wouldn't even look at me. He went off with her on the ferry that night, without so much as a goodbye to me. Leaving me with the hotel bill, too! I was furious and upset and so ashamed of myself. I came straight home and confessed what I'd done.'
âYour mother understood â¦?'
âUnfortunately, she'd gone away for a couple of days and I couldn't get in touch with her. Yes, she really does go to a spa several times a year. I confessed to Gordon and asked him to advise me about the debt. I was afraid he'd crow like mad and of course he did, but I could put up with that. I deserved it, didn't I? But then, he refused to help me sort out the money. He said I'd been a burden on him long enough, and that it was about time I stood on my own two feet, and moved out. He meant it. I had to move out that very day.'
âYour mother wouldn't have thrown you out if she'd been there.'
âNo. But he was right, you know. It was about time I grew up and took responsibility for myself. Only, I couldn't think how. I went to Gramps and Gran and told them what had happened. They took me in, just as I was, all dirty and sweaty from the journey home. They made me eat the most enormous meal and have a long bath and a good sleep. In the morning they said the first thing I must do was to speak to the boy and make some arrangement for him to pay me back. And, what do you think happened? He said that I'd paid to get him out of jail because I was besotted with him, and there'd never been any agreement for him to pay me back.' The hurt in her voice said she was still feeling raw about it.
âOh, dear!' said Ellie.
âYes. So I was on my own. Finally I got through to my mother and told her what had happened and yes, she did understand. She said it was better I found out what the boy was like before things had gone too far. She said she'd pay off my debt, but I got on my high horse and refused. I said I'd made a mistake and would pay for it. She said maybe I was right, but that I must get my overdraft sorted out because the interest I was paying was horrendous and to ask Gramps how to do it.
âSo I did ask. He offered to write off my debt, same as Mum had done, but I couldn't have that. So he arranged for me to re-finance with a different company at a reasonable rate of interest. My godfather came through with an extra spot of cash for my birthday, which was soon after, and my godmother sent me a hundred pounds, too. I suppose Mum told them what happened. I hardly ever see my godmother â she used to be Mr Mornay's wife but they don't get along â and my godfather lives abroad and I've never seen him, but he does send me lovely presents. They both helped, which gave me a nice warm feeling. It was then that I started to think what I really wanted out of life.
âI dropped out of uni in order to get a job. Gramps said he'd like me to stay on at uni and he'd pay my fees, but I didn't want that, either. I'd never really wanted go to uni anyway, couldn't see the point. I wanted to get a job, to show everyone that I could earn my own living. And that's what I've done.'
Pride. Did she mean that she'd wanted to show Gordon that she could? Mm, probably. âYour grandparents found you somewhere to live?'
The catlike smile. âThat's when I found out about The Magpie houses to let. Mum and Aunt Poppy said I could have a tiny house which had just been vacated by some students. It was in a horrible mess; the plumbing was shot and so was the decor, but they said I could move in straight away if I didn't mind workmen tramping all over the place for a while. I didn't mind that; in fact it taught me a lot about what has to be done to these houses to make them fit to live in. I pay rent, mind. I insisted. I've kept myself and scrimped and saved and walked everywhere instead of taking taxis, and the only clothes I've bought have been hand-me-downs or from the charity shop ⦠although, to be fair, Poppy has tried to give me lots of her things, but they're not really my style, if you see what I mean. I've learned how to cook frugal meals. Gran helped me there. She loves to cook and I've learned so much from her. The upshot is that I've paid off my debt, every single penny of it! I went round to tell Gramps and Gran and, what do you know, he brought out a bottle of champagne for us to celebrate! They said they were so proud of me.' A broad grin.
âI kept trying to tell Mum, but she was so worried about Aunt Poppy and Uncle Ray that she kept putting me off. I thought that it didn't matter if she didn't get the good news for a couple of days and then Aunt Poppy ⦠Oh dear! I can't stop crying when I think â¦' She dived for a tissue and blew her nose.
âWhat do you plan to do now? Get a different job? Go back to uni?'
âOh no. I love it here. I've learned so much and I'm sure there's more to come, but if they decide not to keep me on, I think I'll look for another job in housing management.'
âNot in another boutique? You're great with customers.'
âThat's OK as far as it goes, but I prefer working up here. Now I'm free of debt, I'm refreshing my driving skills. I had a driving test booked when everything went wrong and of course I haven't been able to afford to buy a car since then, but I've had a couple of lessons recently and lots of practice in friends' cars and I'm booked to take another test next week. I'm terrified! What if I don't pass? The instructor says I'll be all right but ⦠if I get nervous â¦? It would be really useful at work, to be able to drive here and there. I've jumped the gun a bit, been looking at second-hand cars. I've even taken one for a test drive with a friend by my side. How about that!'
âDouble congratulations, my dear. I can see another bottle of champagne being broken open in the near future.' They grinned at one another. Liking one another. Ellie said, âWhat about the boy who let you down so badly? Did you ever see him again?'
A shrug. âHe dropped out of uni, too. I heard he's on drugs now. I would never have put up with that. I saw him in a bistro, once. I threw my coffee over him.' Part satisfaction, part guilt.
Ellie tried not to smile, and didn't quite make it. âBetter luck next time.'
âDefinitely.'
âNo particular boy in view?'
A slight frown. âMaybe. He's one of those who used to hang around Poppy but he seems to prefer my company for some reason. He gives me driving lessons in return for a meal. I like him. I think I can trust him, but I'm being a bit more careful now. Taking my time.'
âHow did your mother take your leaving home?'
A sigh. âWe had a bit of a weep. She was distressed that Gordon had thrown me out, but she wasn't going to go against his decision. She's often had to decide between us, you see.' She raised her hands. âI understand why she's always had to back him up. For as long as I can remember,
she
has given me love and
he â¦
well, if I get too close to him physically, he'll swat me away. With his stick, sometimes. Unless, of course, he needs me to do something for him â wheel him around or fetch him something from the shops. He can walk short distances with two sticks and he has a big motorized wheelchair for getting around on flat surfaces, but he can't hoist that into his car by himself, so mostly he uses a lighter chair that he can lift by himself. I used to fantasize about Mum leaving him so that we could live together. It was years before I realized that she could never do so. She said she'd made her vows for life, and that was that. He knows it.'
âShe takes herself off now and then to a spa, for a respite?'
âThree or four times a year. She gets a nurse to move in to look after him for the duration.' Eyes down. A restricted tone of voice.
âYou check that that's where she goes?'
A slight flush, high on her cheekbones. âI don't spy on her exactly, but ⦠yes. I need to know I can talk to her if anything goes wrong.'
âAs it did when Gordon threw you out?'
A nod. âShe turns off her mobile when she goes there to get some peace and quiet. I did ring her when I got back from Greece. The people on reception took a message and she got back to me that evening when I was at Gramps's house.'
âYou checked this morning and the reception said she's not signed in there this time.'
A tightening of the lips. âApparently not. Gran and Gramps think that's where she is, but they won't ring her because they think she needs some time away. That's why they're not panicking.'
âYou aren't panicking, either. So you must have a pretty good idea where she's gone.'
âShe said she was trying a new place. She promised to be careful, and I'm sure she will be.' Clemmie busied herself disposing of the remains of their picnic meal.
Ellie said, âYou and your mother have worked it out that since she's inherited the lot, she's next for the chop.'