Murder of a Botoxed Blonde

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Authors: Denise Swanson

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BOOK: Murder of a Botoxed Blonde
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“When writers as sharp as Margaret Maron, Earlene Fowler, and Jerrilyn Farmer all rave about a colleague as convincingly as they have about Denise Swanson … take notice.
” —
Chicago Tribune

Murder of a Real Bad Boy

“Swanson is a born storyteller.”


CrimeSpree Magazine

“Pack your bags and don’t forget your funny bone as we head out for another knee-slapping adventure in Scumble River.” —The Amplifier (KY)

“Scumble River is a joy to visit…. Skye is an intelligent and full-figured heroine who holds on tight to her independence, the mystery is fast-paced … and it wraps up nicely.” —
Romantic Times

Murder of a Smart Cookie

“In her seventh novel, Denise Swanson continues her insightful look at small-town life.
Murder of a Smart Cookie
smartly spins on a solid plot and likable characters.” —
South Florida Sun-Sentinel

“[A] hilarious amateur sleuth mystery…. [Swanson] has a lot of surprises in store for the reader.” —
Midwest Book Review

“A hoot.”


Romantic Times
(4 stars)

Murder of a Pink Elephant

“Get the hammock strung, the lemonade poured, and settle in for the must-read book of the summer…. With a sharp tongue and even sharper mind, Skye once again proves herself adept at outwitting not only the bad guys, but the well-meaning good guys.” —
Butler County Post
(KY)

“One of my favorite series. I look forward to all my visits to Scumble River.” —
CrimeSpree Magazine

“Current readers will appreciate the trip into Scumble River, while new readers will want to go back.” —The Best Reviews

“It’s no mystery why the first Scumble River novel was nominated for the prestigious Agatha Award. Denise Swanson knows small-town America its secrets and its self-delusions, and she writes as if she might have been hiding behind a tree when some of the bodies were being buried. A delightful new series.
” —
Margaret Maron

Murder of a Barbie and Ken

“Swanson continues her lively, light, and quite insightful look at small-town life … a solid plot [and] likeable characters who never slide into caricature.” —
The Hartford Courant

“Another side-splitting visit to Scumble River … filled with some of the quirkiest and most eccentric characters we ever have met, with a sharp, witty protagonist.” —
Butler County Post
(KY)

Murder of a Snake in the Grass

“An endearing and realistic character … a fast-paced, enjoyable read.” —
The Herald News

“This book is delightful…. The characters are human and generous and worth following through the series.” —
Mysterious Women

Murder of a Sleeping Beauty

“A smooth, pleasant, and ultimately satisfying book.” —
Chicago Tribune

“Another delightful and intriguing escapade.” —
Mystery News

“Swanson’s Scumble River mysteries are marvelous.”


Jerrilyn Farmer

Murder of a Sweet Old Lady

“More fun than the whirligig at the county fair and tastier than a corn dog.” —The Charlotte Austin Review

“Swanson is on her way to the top of the genre … a magnificent tale written by a wonderful author.” —
Midwest Book Review

Murder of a Small-Town Honey

“Bounces along with gently wry humor and jaunty twists and turns. The quintessential amateur sleuth: bright, curious, and more than a little nervy.” —Agatha Award-winning author Earlene Fowler “A lighthearted, entertaining mystery.” —
South Florida Sun-Sentinel

“A likable new heroine reminiscent of some of our favorite childhood detectives—with a little bit of an edge … a fresh, delightful, and enjoyable first mystery.” —The Charlotte Austin Review

“A charming, insightful debut.”

—Carolyn Hart

Other Scumble River Mysteries

Murder of a Real Bad Boy

Murder of a Smart Cookie

Murder of a Pink Elephant

Murder of a Barbie and Ken

Murder of a Snake in the Grass

Murder of a Sleeping Beauty

Murder of a Sweet Old Lady

Murder of a Small-Town Honey

Murder of a
Botoxed Blonde

A Scumble River Mystery

D
ENISE
S
WANSON

A SIGNET BOOK

SIGNET

Published by New American Library, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England Penguin Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.) Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.) Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi - 110 017, India

Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.)Penguin Books Ltd.,

80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices:

80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

First published by Signet, an imprint of New American Library, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

First Printing, April 2007

10 9 8 7 6 5 4

Copyright © Denise Swanson Stybr, 2007

All rights reserved

EISBN: 9781101567524

The Edgar® name is a registered service mark of the Mystery Writers of America, Inc.

REGISTERED TRADEMARK—MARCA REGISTRADA Printed in the United States of America Without limiting the rights under copy reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copy owner and the above publisher of this book.

PUBLISHER’S NOTE

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.

If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the publisher and neither the author nor the publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.” The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyed materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

This one is for my mom, Marie Swanson, and her

wonderful friends—Marge Broucek, Esther Knorr,

Lorie Rink, and Dolores (Aunt Pooch) Swanson—or,

as I affectionately call them: The Yo Yo Sisters.

Acknowledgments

Thanks to Tracey Thomas, who knew Vince and Loretta would make a great couple long before I did. Also, to Kim Puckett, a teacher who e-mailed me the quip regarding the No Child Left Behind law.

Thanks to Dave Stybr, for sparking the idea for the chapter titles and the ending.

And to Louis Graham, welcome to the family. Just remember, anything you say or do can and might be used in a future book.

Author’s Note

In July of 2000, when the first book,
Murder of a Small-Town Honey
, was published in my Scumble River series, it was written in “real time.” It was the year 2000 in Skye’s life as well as mine, but after several books in a series, time becomes a problem. It takes me from seven months to a year to write a book, and then it is usually another year from the time I turn that book in to my editor until the reader sees it on a bookstore shelf. This can make the timeline confusing. Different authors handle this matter in different ways. After a great deal of deliberation, I decided that Skye and her friends and family will age more slowly than those of us who don’t live in Scumble River. Although I made this decision while writing the fourth book in the series,
Murder of a Snake in the Grass
, I didn’t realize until recently that I needed to share this information with my readers. So to catch everyone up, the following is when the books take place.

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