Murder's Last Resort (13 page)

Chapter 42

I wanted to ask Alana some questions. The last few times I had seen her, bad things had happened to me afterwards. I called Lily to come with me, even though I knew Jake stood at the ready to escort me. No way was Alana going to be unguarded around Jake. She hardly knew him. Alana knew Lily from activities we had enjoyed together as corporate wives.

I called Alana and made a date to meet her at 9:00 p.m. in her suite. In the meantime, I had a lot to do. I wanted to go over the photocopied notes again. Maybe I’d missed something. I climbed on the bed and pored over them yet another time.

One might have thought I’d be too excited about seeing French to fall asleep. One might have thought my brain would be on overload, trying to find the solution to this vexing human puzzle. One might have thought those things, but one would have been wrong.

I had been running on nervous energy and too little sleep for too many days in a row so that now, I was out like a kitten. Was the Egyptian goddess Isis the guardian of kittens? If so, it was into her arms I fell.

I dreamed that I plowed a go-cart into my therapist’s pet elephant, an elephant that had been in the family for years. The elephant exploded when I hit him and pieces of grey elephant hide flew into every corner of the room.

Just then, the house phone rang and my head nearly cracked in two. I was too out of it to pick up the phone. Plus, I was afraid it would be French, telling me he had changed his mind and wouldn’t meet me later.

So, I didn’t answer, but let it go to message. I wished I had not. Hitting an elephant in a dream was better than being hit with this, a man’s disembodied voice, speaking in a monotone, “Maya, you are so God damned dumb. Keep your stupid nose out of this.”

Sleep was out of the question now. Isis wouldn’t be cradling me again any time soon.

Chapter 43

I was thrilled to see it was after five. Jake would soon be back from work, so I fired up ye olde tea kettle. I had fallen back asleep after all and gotten a few good solid hours of good shut eye. I would need them, as it turned out, but I didn’t know that as I got out the tea cups and shortbread biscuits for Jake’s and my little snack.

I leaned against the kitchen counter and took mental inventory, as I watched the blue flame flicker along the bottom edge of the kettle. I had one dead Sapphire president and one dead Sapphire regional veep. I had two mourning widows, or so it appeared, some cuckoo on the loose who liked to play with bullets, belts and pantyhose, a kidnapper, Monotone Man on my voice mail and a husband somewhere, who was slated to make a cameo appearance later tonight.

Who woulda thunk it? When we moved to Orlando three years ago, it was the sleepiest little mouse hole on earth. It just went to show how wrong a girl from L.A. could be. Weirdos were not limited to the streets of West Hollywood, after all.

The field of suspects was wide open. Either of the grieving widows could be a magician with pantyhose. Frankie Messina was a shady guy who would probably not let a little thing like murder stop him from getting ahead. He was tight with Philip Trotter. Trotter might kill to ascend to the Sapphire throne. Once he was the man, he’d be handing out plum properties like poker chips. Those closest to him would benefit; they’d be able to pick the resort of their choice. He and Messina could be in cahoots.

So many people within the corporation stood to benefit by Red’s death. Only one person benefitted from Vacaar’s death. That would be Mona, but if my feminine intuition was right, she was innocent. She carried on enough, crying through her mascara, to be real. Something told me that she and her Albanian prince charming had been gaga about each other.

While waiting for Jake, I listened to Monotone Man’s recorded message a few more times. There was something about the message, something familiar about the voice, something, something. What? What? My muddled mind tossed the clues around like Enzo would have tossed a Caesar salad.

The phone rang again. What would it be this time? Each time it rang, the red light flickered. I watched and scratched my tummy before picking up. The welts below my ribs were back with a vengeance.

“Maya, this is Mona.” Her voice was sad, teary. “I’m so confused. Who would want to kill Vacaar? Who would want to kill Torrey? I need your help. Can I come see you tomorrow afternoon? I’m losing it. What do you say?”

“I say fine. Come by around 2:00 p.m. tomorrow, after lunch.”

We rung off and I wondered why she had called me? We had known one another for years, but were never terribly close. Did she know something she wanted to share with me? She claimed to require my help and that was worrisome.

I needn’t have worried too much. A lot more soufflé would be baked, rise and fall before 2:00 p.m. tomorrow.

Just then, Jake walked in. I couldn’t wait to spring my mystery phone message on him for some feedback.

“Hi, Jake! Get over here,” I gestured to him with enthusiasm.

“What happened to hello?” he asked.

“Hello! Now get over here,” I said, continuing to gesture.

“Gee whiz, Maya, hold your horses. You’re flapping your wings like a hen protecting her chicks. What could be so important?”

I played him the recording a few times. He made clucking sounds and tilted his head to one side, looking a lot like the RCA Victor dog.

“Sounds to me, crazy hen,” he said, fluttering his wrists to mock me, “like you better get smart and solve this case pronto.”

Chapter 44

Jake relaxed elsewhere in the house after tea and I went back to studying the files we had stolen. Lily arrived at 8:00 p.m., armed with salads and sandwiches from Tammy’s.

“You don’t expect me to eat now, do you really?” I asked her.

“Why not?” she said. “Look, Jake’s interested. His nose is  twitching already.”

It was true. Men could eat any time, I guessed. I picked at a few green things with little enthusiasm. Lily and I prepared to walk together to Alana’s suite. Jake was to drop us at her door, then disappear nearby and wait for us. I showed French’s small hunting knife, tucked inside my waistband, to Lily.

“What in bloody hell?” she said. “What do you plan to do with that, gut a fish?”

“Oh, ha ha,” I said. “I don’t want to go there unarmed.”

“You look foolish, Maya,” Lily said. “Leave it in French’s sock drawer. I’ve never seen a sinister side of Alana, but even if she had one, she’d be no match for us. Have you forgotten my black belt?”

“Why do you think you’re going with me?” I asked. “Still, a black belt is no match for a bullet.”

Lily scoffed, “And a knife is?”

I followed her orders, we locked the doors and started walking to the hotel. Sometimes, it felt like most of my life was spent walking between the house and the hotel. Sometimes, it felt like most of my life was spent making nice-nice with near strangers, and forcing myself to look interested in stuff that made me yawn. Sometimes, it felt like I was married to a phantom and, without my friends, my life would have been empty and meaningless.

I thought about my buddies, Jake and Lily, and how I loved them. We had enjoyed many adventures together over the years, both here and in Hollywood, London, and North Carolina. We’d get through this one, too. A modern day Three Musketeers, that was us.

Chapter 45

The interview with Alana did not go well. She was as closed up as a burger stand on the beach in January. Lily and I made chit chat and tried to get her to open up. She offered us drinks and we accepted.

She joined us and held her liquor. Being a cheap drunk myself, I was starting to feel woozy. I was little and lightweight. My blood alcohol level rose faster than hers or Lily’s.

The only thing Alana did was sigh out loud every few seconds and twist her big fat diamond wedding ring around her finger. In all the time I had known her, I had never seen her do that before.

After about twenty minutes, she screwed up her courage and asked us, “You don’t think someone made a mistake, do you?”

“How so?” I ventured.

“I mean, you don’t think someone meant to shoot me and not you, do you, Maya?” she continued.

“How could that be?” I asked her, “You and I couldn’t look more different. Who would mix up a petite brunette with a pedigreed blonde?”

“Someone angry, someone bitter,” she answered. “What about someone who resents us both?”

“Is there such a person?” I asked and looked over at Lily. She shrugged her shoulders as if to say, “What a bunch of rot.”

We sat there like three dummies, pondering that possibility. I began to feel uneasy and wished we could leave. Both Alana and I had a past with Sapphire Resorts but now, only one of us had a future.

It was impossible to avoid the obvious. “So, what will you do once you get back to Chicago?” Lily asked.

“I haven’t the vaguest notion,” Alana said. “I’ll have to get Red into the ground, then there will be the obligatory face off with his adult children from his first marriage. That won’t be pretty. They’re going to want everything he left behind except me. I’m a big stumbling block to their getting wealthy as quickly as they’d like.”

Another sigh and then she said, “Don’t get me wrong, but I’m just not in the mood for company tonight. I have no new ideas that might shed light on this topic. I’m as clueless as you are, maybe more so. Let’s all get a good night’s sleep and call it a day.” With that, she led us to the door, gave us each an air hug and kiss, and sent us on our way.

“What a bloody waste of time,” Lily said to me as we walked away.

“You’re not kidding,” I agreed. I felt stupid for asking Jake and Lily to come along. Nothing had happened. What did I think would happen? Did I think Alana would cave and confess that she had always hated Red and Vacaar, too?

That had not been likely. Hearing about her adult stepchildren made me consider them in a new light. Could one of them be skulking around Orlando, trying to find a way to cash in on dear old Dad? I got the sense that Alana considered herself a target, and maybe she had a point. The possible culprit pool just got bigger and I was in the deep end, treading water.

Chapter 46

Jake, Lily and I were trudging back to my house, talking between us, when a large net fell over us. A net? What was this, Jungle Land Wild Animal Park? Men sprang from hiding places and surrounded us.

Even as the unreality of it hit me, we were falling over each other, groping at mesh, trying to get back on our feet and not succeeding. I had the weird sensation of being in a bad B movie. Nothing sophisticated about it. This stupid maneuver smacked of local yokel dumbasses. Who were they and where was the Orlando PD when the three musketeers needed them most?

It was a moonless night and this part of the path, between the hotel and my house, was shadowy, a perfect place to string a net between some tall palms. The three of us wriggled and struck out at our captors with a fierceness they did not expect. Between kicking, screaming and throwing blind punches, we were doing a decent job of dispatching these guys. They were buffoons, I could see that, all dressed in black with pantyhose over their heads, of all things.
How fitting,
I thought, with a grim sense of irony.

Somehow, we beat those guys. I managed to kick one of them in the shin, and I kneed another one in the groin, much to my satisfaction. Moans and grunts filled the air. I could hear Jake punching someone and Lily was spitting fire like a hell cat. The goons turned tail and ran almost as quickly as they had attacked us.

We untangled ourselves from the net and heard the sound of sneakered feet pounding over the bermed landscaping and in the direction of the parking lot. Then, we heard a car peel out. Whoever they were and whatever their goal, they were gone now and their bizarre little ambush had not worked.

Jake, Lily and I were all jabbering at the same time, checking each other out to make sure we were okay. I was unsteady on my feet and my nerves were shot. I felt as vulnerable as a blind man at the edge of the Grand Canyon. Once more, tears were springing to my eyes when Jake said, “Well, this is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into, Maya,” in his best Oliver Hardy voice.

Lily started to giggle and Jake joined in. Before I knew it, I was laughing, too, and wiping away my tears at the same time. We were so upset, we had to laugh to keep from crumbling.

Jake gathered the net in his hands and dragged it along for closer inspection at a later time. He wanted to call the Orlando PD, but I wanted to keep it quiet. They had failed to protect me when they were in place. Who needed them now?

“Listen, Jake,” I said, “I think it’s a bad idea to call the police for many reasons, not the least of which is, I think this may have had something to do with these morons.”

“What?” Jake said. I could feel his eyes flashing at me, despite the darkness. Lily echoed his incredulity.

“Yes, that’s right. Wasn’t there an adolescent whiff about this escapade? Face it—this was almost a joke.”

“You’re right about that,” Lily piped up. “If they meant to give us a scare, they succeeded, but that still won’t stop us, will it? We’re unstoppable.”

“You got that right, sister,” Jake chimed in. “We scared them a lot more than they scared us. If we hadn’t been tangled up in that net, I know I could have taken them singlehanded.” He pounded on his chest with his free fist, à la Tarzan.

“Absolutely, dear Jake. Absolutely,” I said. “Once again, you’re my hero.”