My Besties: The Come Up (3 page)

On a bad day, he would make me suck his dick until my jaws were sore. He started fucking with me when I was about four. It ended about five years later when I ended his life.

I told my mom what he was doing. She would just tell me to pray about it and eventually he would stop, but I guess God didn’t fuck with me like that. I didn’t need God for what I planned to do.

It was my ninth birthday and my mom had planned a small party with just my besties and me. She rented a bunch of movies and bought us a gang of junk food. We ate, had a good time, and fell asleep.

Later that night, I woke up to use the restroom and I saw that ReRe wasn’t next to me anymore. I went room to room looking for her. I approached my parent’s room and I could hear small cries. I heard my father saying, “Shut the fuck up bitch.” I knew it was ReRe. My heart broke into pieces because I couldn’t help her. I went back to the living room crying. I just wanted him to be quick. I needed her to come back and go to sleep because I was getting his ass tonight.

Ten minutes later, she laid next to me crying, “He hurt me E!” I told her to go back to sleep. I knew she had fallen asleep because her grip on my arm loosened. I knew it was now or never.

I walked back to my parent’s room and could hear my father snoring loudly. I got on my knees and crawled under the bed to where I knew my father kept his lock box. I opened the box as quietly as I could and felt around for a few seconds until I found what I was looking for.

When I used to cry and refuse to pleasure him, he would point this gun at me. He even stuck it down there before. I stood up and walked to the side of the bed. I turned the gun sideways to click the safety button off, and when I looked up, my father was staring at me.

The last thing he said before I blew his brains out was, “You are the child of the devil.”

Back to the present, my mom resents me. His murder was labeled a robbery gone wrong. Deep down inside, she knew what I did. Oh fucking well. Shit, she could get it too. I love my mom, but she could have done more to stop the nigga. Fuck it! Let me call my bestie, JuJu and see what time we are going to her Godmother’s barbeque.

“I’m sucka duckie, I’m sucka free,

you ain’t a G, don’t fuck with me,

I’m suckin niggas outta style, G season.

I’m suckin niggas outta style, G season.”

Chapter 4

Tiki

Bout time y’all motha fuckers got to my chapter. My name is Tamiko, AKA Tiki. As you may already know me, Ju, ReRe, and Dirty E are like sisters and brothers. We are all Leo’s and we get along so good. It’s all real. None of that phony shit that y’all are used to see. Them my motha fuckers! We E.S.C. until the death of us. If you ask me, we all get along so good because we all have horrible past’s that fucked us all up.

My own mama can’t stand me because I look just like my father. She was his side bitch back in the day when he was on the come up. She was just like all the other hood rats in the hood. She thought that if she got pregnant then she would lock my father down. Wrong! He told her he wasn’t ready for kids. He gave her four hundred dollars to get an abortion.

This trifling ass hoe went to the mall and bought a few outfits. Needless to say, when he found out what she did, he found her and tried to abort me himself. From what my aunt told me, he beat her within an inch of her life. On the way to the hospital, she flat lined twice. She pulled through and I came three months early. I was four pounds even. Other than me being a premature baby, I was good.

My mom’s fake ass didn’t raise me. She was too busy chasing baller dick. My Aunt Rose raised me until I was seven. She died after overdosing from too much heroine. I guess my mom had somewhat of a heart because she took me in. Although, I think that I would have been better off in foster care.

She had a slew of niggas in and out of our tiny ass two-bedroom apartment. A few of them even tried to make their way into my bed. I got tired of that shit. I started running away to E’s crib.

When I was about ten, I was walking back from Bessmer Park when this black two-door Infiniti Coupe rolled up on me. My scared ass was about to run. Shit, motha fuckers still be kidnapping kids. I’ll be damned if I end up in somebody’s basement as a sex slave. Bullshit!

He rolled the window down and said, “Tamiko.”

I said, “Who the fuck is you?”

He chuckled and said, “Yeah, you definitely my baby. Come here.”

Curiosity got the best of me because I walked over to his car. “I’m yo Daddy! Get in!”

I looked at him as if he was crazy. “What’s my mama name?

“Sharon.”

That was all I needed to hear. I hopped in and he asked me where we stayed. When we walked into the apartment, we found my mom’s trifling ass on all fours getting fucked by a man I called Uncle Larry.

When she saw whom I was with, the look on her face let me know that the words he spoke were biblical. She jumped up so fast that you would have thought she was in a martial arts movie.

“Oh my Lord, Meechie what you doing here?”

He stared at my mom with a stare that would have made the Grim Reaper kill himself. I guess my mama felt it too, because she pissed all over herself right there in the middle of the living room.

“Tiki come on, you don’t live here no more.” Shit, Daddy or not, I got to get up outta this hellhole. BYE FELICIA! Life after that was heaven. He kept me in the same school after I told him about my besties. He told me how he met my mama. Shit, he even told me about the time he almost killed us. I didn’t think my life was worth shit anyway, because of whose vagina I came out of. I wasn’t even mad.

He told me I had a brother that was two years younger than I was. I was just happy to finally be happy. On my eleventh birthday, I woke up mad because I had to go to school. I got happy when my Daddy told me he was taking my besties and me to Great America and the mall in Gurnee Mills. I couldn’t sit still in class. Shit, neither could my besties. We were all so happy.

Finally, at 2:30, it was time to go. My Daddy’s car wasn’t across the street in his normal parking spot. No big deal. Sometimes I have to catch the bus home. I told my friends to go home and get ready as soon as I changed we was coming to scoop them.

I never made it to the bus stop. “Birthday girl, want a ride?”

“Daddy, you late.”

“I know, boo. I had some errands to run.”

On the way home, I wanted my usual sugar fix. See, every day we stop at the gas station on 76 and Stony Island. I always get some tropical skittles and a red chilly willy.

When we pulled into the gas station, my Daddy seemed like he was nervous about something. He handed me a hundred dollar bill. “Daddy gotta make a phone call.”

When I saw that hundred-dollar bill, I jumped out of that car so fast that you would have thought it was on fire. I walked in the store as if I had a million dollars. You couldn’t tell me shit. I was about to buy everything in there. When I got to the counter, I rang up $55.45 worth of junk food. Hey, it’s my birthday. He won’t be mad, right?

Walking back to my Daddy’s car, I could hear him yelling at somebody on the phone. “Fuck you nigga! Do you know who I am? I will bury yo ass, pussy!”

As I closed the door, he hung up the phone. “Did my baby buy the whole store?” His smile was a mirror of mine and I loved to see him smile. Sadly, that would be the last time that I saw it.

After we left the gas station, we headed home. It was rush hour and traffic was crazy. We took Stoney Island north. We ended up on 67
^th
. Sitting at the light we were rocking to Twista’s “Pimp Like Me.” My Daddy loved this song. We were so busy rocking our heads and singing that he didn’t see the man approaching our car.

Before I could scream, he blew my Daddy’s brains all over my face and clothes. The last memory I have of my Daddy was he dying on my birthday. I hate thinking about that shit. It puts a damper on my mood.

Even though I only had him around for one year that was the best year of my life. My mom all but laughed in my face when I had to come back home. She never changed for me. I still live with her now. She didn’t have to change for me. The full-blown AIDS that she has made her seem different.

We barely talk. But fuck all that shit! I’m alive, sexy as shit, and ready to live my life. Like my girl JuJu, I’m still a virgin. I’m not trying to have babies or catch the kill-kill. We still say ReRe’s a virgin because the shit that her sick ass father did to her doesn’t count.

Aww shit! Talking to y’all, I’mma be late for JuJu’s auntie barbeque. Let me call this girl before I have to curse her ass out.

“Only thing that’s on my mind,

is who gon run this town tonight.”

Chapter 5

ReRe

Sometimes I hate being alone. The demons from my past keep my mind consumed with anger and rage. I could never bring a child into the world because the person that helped bring me into the world decided that instead of loving and guiding me in the right path, he’d rather use my body and me for his own sick and perverted pleasures. My mother was also fucked up in the head because she used to help him. All I know is pain, shame, and loneliness. I remember when my Daddy first hurt me.

I used to always hear my parents arguing about the smallest things. One argument I heard changed everything. “Papi, you can’t! She’s your daughter!”

“You can do this small simple thing or I’m leaving! Then who’s gonna take care of you and that little bitch?”

“I won’t do it!”

The talking stopped so I got up from the couch to eavesdrop. That’s when I saw my father fucking my mother in the ass as if she was less than human. That’s not even the worst part. She was in a deep heroine nod. To control her, he would keep her high.

I thought I could ease back to the couch without being seen, but as I did, I looked up and saw my father looking at me while he pounded my mother’s ass as if he was digging for gold. The next few days were the worst. Before it all became a blur, I remember my mother being extra nice to me.

“Mami, let’s play dress up. You can put on Mommy’s pink dress.”

“Ohhh, and Mommy can I wear your makeup?”

I remember looking up and seeing tears fall from her eyes.

“Yes, you can. Let Mommy make you look pretty.”

I remember looking in the mirror at my face, clothes, and hair. I swear I felt like a princess.

“You look good, baby. Now come sit next to Mommy and let me make you feel good.”

“Ouch Mommy! That hurt! Why you hitting my arm like that?”

“This will just hurt for a few minutes.”

She pulled out a needle filled with white stuff and stuck me in the arm.

“OUCH MOMMY! Tha… Tha… That feels good. Mommy, what’s that?”

I looked up to see my father coming in the room butt-ass naked. “Look at Daddy’s baby. Let Daddy make you feel good.”

The sexual abuse went on like that for three years. I was eight when I finally had the nerve to speak up. Not only did the sexual abuse continue, but the drug abuse did as well. I finally told my teacher that my father was molesting me and shooting heroine into my veins.

She was floored! CPS got involved and I was eventually taken from my parents. I went to a foster home that allowed my father to have unsupervised visits with me. Talk about the system failing you! The abuse didn’t stop until my father was sent to prison for murdering my mother.

I was numb to a lot of shit. I didn’t have a normal childhood. I liked school because I had three friends who loved me for me. I love them with all my heart and I would kill for them. Hell, they had their own problems too. Even E’s father messed with me. Shit was crazy. I’ll never forget that night that she killed him.

After he hurt me, E held me until I fell asleep. Playing possum is what I did best. I let her think I was asleep. She left and went back to her parent’s room. I waited for a good thirty seconds and then I followed her.

I heard him say, “You are the child of the devil,” and then, POW! I didn’t even run. I walked up to her and told her to come back to the living room and lay down as if nothing happened.

She wiped the gun off and threw it in the dumpster behind the house. We left the back door open and went to lay back next to JuJu and Tiki who by this time were wide-awake also.

“Did you kill him?” JuJu asked.

“Yeah, Ju, I did.”

“Fuck him!”

We laid awake pretending to be asleep until we could no longer ignore the screams roaring from the depths of E’s mother’s soul.

“LAWD A MERCY! WHYYYYY? HE DEAD! HELP ME LAWD, PLEASE!”

She knew he was a rotten motha fucker, but damn did she love his sick ass. We never uttered a word to no one. We got each other’s back. They helped me with my nightmares. Mostly every night, I relive my childhood. My father still tries to reach out to me. The nerve!

I moved in with my father’s sister. She’s all right, but she doesn’t give a fuck what I do. My besties are all I need. Speaking of my besties let me call and see what’s cracking with this barbeque. DUECES!

“Who run the world; girls!