My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding (33 page)

Not half as inviting as it would be with a naked Rafael in it, but what could she do?

Ask him to join you?

Yeah. Shaking her head at her errant thoughts, she set her backpack on the mattress, then turned to look at Rafael, who cut a tempting pose in the doorway.

With him dressed in black pleated pants and a black sweater that clung to his body, it was hard to think straight. Which meant she needed to get him out of here before she lost all sense of her duties and succumbed to the idea of stripping him bare.

"Shouldn't you be out patrolling?" she asked.

"Still too early. Besides, there hasn't been much Daimon activity lately." He crossed himself. "Since Danger died, it's been unnaturally quiet."

"Yeah, that's what Ephani says, too. It's like they've moved on, which is weird.

You'd think killing a DarkHunter would have invigorated them."

Without commenting, he moved closer to her ... so close that the scent of him invaded her senses. More than that, it warmed her completely. There was something calming about that scent of Brut and man. Something tempting and sinful.

It kept her spellbound as he paused right beside her and lifted his hand to brush a stray braid from her shoulder. Her heart racing, she couldn't move. All she wanted was to feel him touching her.

A small smile hovered on the edges of his lips as he dipped his head toward hers.

She knew he was going to kiss her and still she couldn't move.

Not until his lips parted and she glimpsed his fangs.

He's a DarkHunter.

That jolted her enough that she could take three steps back. "We should reorganize your house while I'm here so that it's more efficient."

Rafael bit back a foul curse. One more second and he would have had her.

"House is fine."

"No. No, it's not. Do you even have an evacuation plan for what to do if it were to catch fire during the daylight? You know you could roast and die quite easily, then you'd be a soulless Shade and screwed for eternity."

That went over him like a cold shower. Now there was something he'd never thought about before, and he was pretty good at putting together disaster plans.

"It happens a lot with these older homes," she continued. "What with their faulty wiring and all. I heard of one DarkHunter who died like that just last year."

"Who?"

"I can't remember the name, but it was one of the DarkHunters in England.

Total barbecue. You can check it on the Web site."

He'd really rather not. No DarkHunter liked to read about the death of another one. It brought home that even though they were technically immortal, there were still things out there that could kill them. And having died already, it wasn't something Rafael wanted to experience again.

Still, she didn't relent. "You should contact a friend of mine. He specializes in fireproofing underground bunkers for DarkHunters. He can put in a sprinkler system and"

"You're rambling."

"No, I'm not. DarkHunter safety is a Squire's number one priority. In fact, I'll call Leonard first thing in the morning and see when he can come out for an estimate. We should also make sure that you have a roll bar in your car in case you flip over in a wreck. Oh, and a steel bar shield on the driver's side in the event you run up under something, so that you can't be decapitated."

Without conscious thought, Rafael's hand went to his throat. Damn, the woman gave paranoia a whole new meaning.

"We should also look into the history of this house and make sure that it was never used as a bedandbreakfast."

"Why?"

"If property has ever been used as a community place such as a boardinghouse, restaurant, or anything open to the public, then the Daimons can enter without an invitation. You don't want them barging in on you and killing you, now do you?"

"Not really."

"Then we need to do a property search. Unless your last Squire did that."

"No."

She tsked. "I need a piece of paper. This is going to take a while."

And by the time she fished that paper out of her backpack and started making a list, Rafael felt ill. The woman should work as a Codes Inspector. Jeez. She thought of dangers that had never occurred to him.

She even went outside and inspected the grade of his basement, which wasn't high enough, in her estimation. After all, according to her, a foundation shift could cause a crack that could theoretically expose him to daylight.

Not bloody likely, but she seemed determined to ferret out any possibleheavy emphasis on the "possible"threat.

By the time ten o'clock rolled around, he was more than ready to begin his patrol. He came up from the basement to find an arsenal on the table.

Two daggers, three stakes because two could break in a fight, a Daimon tracker that he'd always profaned using, a Kevlar jacket, his cell phone, and a watch were all laid out for him.

When she lifted the Kevlar to help him into it, he merely stared at her. "Bullets can't kill me."

"No, but they do hurt. The Daimons could, in theory, shoot you until you're too weakened to fight them and then behead you."

He shook his head at her as he again declined to put on the jacket. She was perturbed as she set it aside while he hid the daggers in his boots.

"Want to put a cone around my head like a dog to make sure that they can't decapitate me while we're at it?" he asked sarcastically.

"I would," she said to his instant incredulous dismay, "but Ephani got really angry when I tried that with her, so I learned that it's more important for you to blend in than protect the neck. But I do have this." She pulled a thick black steel collar from her pocket. "If you wear it under a turtleneck, it's not so obvious. Kind of medievally looking."

He had no response to that. It was the most ludicrous thing he'd ever heard. In fact, as he tucked the stakes away, he had to force himself not to use them on his latest menace. . . .

Her.

She handed him the watch. "I doublechecked the sunrise on weather.com and crosschecked it with the meteorological society and my friend who's an astronomer to be sure it was accurate. It's at six fiftynine A.M.

sharp. I've already set the alarm to give you a twentyminute warning." Next, she held out a piece of paper. "Here's a list of how long it will take you from various parts of the tricity area to get back here. I'll keep an eye on your tracers to make sure that you have adequate time to make it back home without threat or harm."

Then she handed him a foldedup black body bag. "And in the event you can't make it back, zip yourself up in this and press the panic alarm I added to your key chain. Then I can come get you home before the daylight makes you burst into flames."

Again, he was speechless.

She picked up his cell phone. "I preprogrammed my number in on the speed dial under one and Acheron under two. Did you know you didn't have any numbers listed as 'ICE'? You should always have an In Case of Emergency contact number.

So I put mine in for that, too."

"What about Jeff?"

"Since he won't be with us much longer, I didn't bother."

This was madness. No wonder Ephani hadn't fought him on having Celena replaced for a week. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, the woman was insane.

"Anything else, Mom?" he asked.

"Yes. Play nice with the other kids and don't let the Daimons get the drop on you. Use the tracer so that you know where they are at all times."

Raphael couldn't get out of his house fast enough. So much for his thoughts about trying to seduce her. He'd rather face the Daimon horde blindfolded and with both hands tied behind his back.

More than that, he'd rather go babysit Jeff. If anyone had ever told him that he'd prefer the lazy, lackadaisical boy to the hot Caribbean sex goddess, he'd have laughed in their face.

Now he could appreciate Jeff's laidback nature.

Maybe it's just a ploy of hers. . . .

He paused at that thought. Maybe she was just doing this to drive him away. It was possible.

Very
possible.

Oh yeah, he was on to her now. It made total sense.

Fine then. Two could play this game.

Getting into his car, he smiled.
"En garde, ma petite."
They were about to go to war, and at the end of this, he was going to win.

Rafael wasn't winning his war. He was losing it miserably and not even with style.

No matter what he tried, Celena circumvented his best efforts. The woman was a machine, and after fortyeight hours of having her in his house, he'd had enough.

Sitting on his couch in the basement an hour after sunset because, quite frankly, if he went upstairs, he might kill herhe called Ephani, who answered on the third ring.

"Come get your Squire," he said without preamble.

Her tone was dry and snide. "Hi to you, too, Rafael. Nice to hear from you."

"Cut the crap, Eph, and come get her before I kill her."

"She making you crazy?" He could hear the humor in her voice.

"You think? How do you stand it night in and night out and not lose your mind?"

"She's a little obsessive, but"

"A
little?"
he asked incredulously. "The woman makes a serial stalker look like a Boy Scout."

Ephani snorted. "She's not that bad."

"Oh yes, she is. Trust me. I almost lost my head to a Daimon the first night she was here."

"How so?"

He clenched his teeth at the memory. "Picture this. There I am in the alleyway, sneaking up on a group of Daimons who have this college kid trapped between them. Just as I go to make my move to save the kid, the phone rings with Ms.

Ihavenopurposesavetomakeyoucrazy calling to tell me that according to the tracer she has on me it's time for me to head home so that I won't get caught out in daylight."

Ephani was laughing so hard that he wanted to reach through the phone and choke her.

"It's not funny."

She kept laughing.

Rafael let out a disgusted sigh. "Did she reorganize your kitchen and fill it up with wheat germ and shit? I tried to explain the whole I'mimmortalIliveforever to her, but she doesn't get it. She said that even immortals need to eat healthy foods."

Still Ephani was laughing.

And still Rafael wanted to kill the Amazon as well as Celena. "This really isn't funny, Eph."

"Oh yeah, it is. Gah, Rafe. You're such a man."

"And I'm going to take that as a compliment."

Clearing her throat, Ephani finally sobered. "There's a few things you need to understand about Celena."

"You mean something other than she's nuts?"

Ephani tsked at him over the phone. "She's not nuts."

He glanced up to the ceiling. No doubt Celena was up there right now doing something extremely odd in order to protect
him,
the immortal warrior. "I think I'll reserve my opinion."

"Trust me, Blackbeard. She's not nuts."

"Then what is she?"

"Scared." The word surprised him, Celena certainly didn't act that way. "Have you tried to ask her anything about her family?"

"A couple of times, but she won't talk about them."

"That's right and do you know why?"

"She's nuts?" This time he said it with a little less enthusiasm.

"No . . . she's scared."

But that didn't make sense to him. "Of what?"

"Of losing the people she loves, so she tries to keep up walls to protect herself. If she doesn't talk about people, then they can't be close to her. But it's a crock. I know this because when her father died a year ago, it almost killed her. She still cries about him in the middle of the day when she thinks I'm sleeping."

The news floored him. That was so opposite of the hardnosed woman upstairs.

There was nothing vulnerable about her, and honestly, he couldn't imagine her crying about anything. "Celena?"

"Yes, Celena. And do you know why she's so anal about her duties?"

"She's nuts?" He was back to being convinced. Anyone who executed their duties to such an nth degree wasn't normal.

"No," Ephani said in an irritated tone. "Like Jeff she's from a Squire family. The DarkHunter she grew up with was killed eight years ago because he was cornered by a group of Daimons and executed. If that wasn't bad enough, the first DarkHunter she was assigned to died because she couldn't make it back before sunup. Celena tried to get to her in time, but there was no place for her to hide, so she turned into toast minutes before Celena got there. The Council warned me when they sent her over that she was a bit. . . traumatized by the event. Hell, if you think she's bad now, you should have seen her when she first came to work for me."

If she was worse, then he was grateful he hadn't met her then. But all that actually explained a great deal about her psychosis.

"And she must really like you to be so paranoid that she's calling you all the time to make sure you get back home in time. She's not that bad even with me." Then she added under her breath, "Then again, I always follow her patrol plans and get back before she freaks."

Rafael was quiet for a second as he considered Ephani's words. "That puts a lot of perspective on her, doesn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," he said with a sigh, "I won't kill her tonight."

"Please don't. All in all, I'm rather fond of her, and I have to say I much prefer her to the one I'm dealing with right now. This one's kind of lazy. She even balked at making my scrambled eggs with cheese and onions in them."

Rafael laughed at that. "I guess it's what you're used to."

"I guess. But send Celena home soon. I miss her."

He shook his head. "By the way, thanks, Eph."

"No prob. Just take care of my girl."

"Will do." Rafael hung up the phone and tucked it back in his pants pocket. His mind whirling with what he'd learned, he headed upstairs to find his "breakfast"

waiting.

Grabbing a piece of bacon, he had to admit that this was the one thing he liked about having Celena around. Unlike Jeff, she was up all night with him and made sure that he had plenty of food prepared. She even packed him a snack bag to take with him. Of course it was full of wholesome foods that he poked at like an alien lifeform, but it was a nice thought.