My Butterfly (26 page)

I hesitated for a second.

“Uh, you can call me back on this number. Thanks.”

I stopped, ended the call and carefully set the business card back onto the chest. Then, I felt something small hit the back of my head, and I watched as a peanut rolled to a spot on the floor.

“Dude, I thought you went back to sleep or something,” Jeff said in his whiney voice. “Why don’t you have pants on?”

I looked down at my boxers, then turned around and shuffled back over to the other side of the bed without even acknowledging him. I found a pair of jeans I had worn the day before lying on the floor and stepped into them. Then, I reached for a shirt from an open drawer and squeezed it on over my head.

“Voilà,” I said, turning and facing Jeff with my arms out to my sides. “Ready.”

“About time, loser,” he said, as he turned on his heels in the doorway again. “The fish have probably all hibernated or frozen in the time it took you to do that.”

I smiled and shuffled toward the bedroom door. But on my way, I took one, last glance at the business card staring back at me from the chest. It forced me to suck in another big breath of air.

“Girl, the things you make me do,” I mumbled in my next exhale.

Wedding

“W
ill, I’ve been looking for you.”

I turned around
in the bench to see a young woman, dressed from head to toe in white, and immediately, it made me smile.

“Hey, Mona, do you need something?” I asked her.

Mona had always been like a little sister to me, and now, she seemed all grown up all of a sudden.

“No, no,” she said, laughing. “I just saw you talking to that girl over there.”

“What girl? When?” I asked.

“
Taylor,” Mona said. “The petite girl, auburn hair, you know? She’s a friend from college.”

“Oh,” I said, habitually rubbing the back of my neck.

“Uh, yeah, she’s requesting a song,” I said.

Mona flashed me a mischievous grin.

“She asked if I would dance with her when it plays,” I continued.

“And you said?” she asked.

“I said I would, but it’s just a dance, Mona,” I said.

She shook her head.

“She’s the one,” she said, pointing at me. “Taylor’s a really nice girl, Will.”

“I just met her, Mona,” I said, through a patient smile.

“She’s the one,” she said again.

I gave her a disbelieving look.

“Just give her a chance, Will, for your little cousin on her wedding day,” she said, with a pleading smile.

“Mona,
Taylor’s the one…,” I started but stopped short, as my eyes caught a familiar silhouette and my heart momentarily took a break from its beating.

“Julia,” I said, quickly sitting up.

“Hi, Will,” she said.

Jules planted her eyes in my gaze for a moment and then turned her attention to Mona.

“Hi, Mona,” she said. “You look beautiful.”

Mona shot me a suspicious look and then set her eyes on Julia. I, in the meantime, tried to relax my shoulders and to not look so obvious.

“Thanks, Julia. I’m so glad you made it,” Mona said, wrapping Jules into a big embrace. “And we’ll have to catch up, but right now, I’ve got to find the groom. They’re making us take more pictures, and this guy’s been holding me up,” she said, pulling away from Julia and gesturing toward me.

I sent Mona a puzzled look, but it didn’t seem to faze her as she hurried off to somewhere else and left Jules and me alone.

I took a second before I spoke.

“I wasn’t sure you’d be here,” I said.

“I wasn’t either,” she replied.

She smiled and caught my stare.

The shock of my heart suddenly stopping moments ago was starting to fade, and my smile was returning.

“How long are you here?” I asked.

“Just tonight,” she said.

I glanced around.

“You here with anyone?” I asked.

“No,” she said, shaking her head.

I cocked my head to the side.

“No,” she quickly said again, seeming to read my mind. “Brady had to work.”

“Oh,” I said. “You two still...”

I couldn’t even finish the sentence, damn it. I felt my mood changing fast. I tried to hide what I was sure was obvious disdain, as she nodded her head in confirmation.

Of course.

I sucked in an audible breath and then sat back.

“How is everything?” she asked.

I met her eyes again. Did she want me to be honest?

“It’s fine,” I lied.

She nodded her head again as her lips went back to a straight position on her face. But she held her eyes in mine. I could tell she was thinking something, but I couldn’t tell what it was.

Then, I watched her carefully slide off her shoes and then tiptoe over the grass toward the bench I was sitting on and take a seat.

I glanced at the space in between us. It wasn’t the close I was used to associating with Jules, but it was a couple thousand miles closer than I got these days. So, in the end, the ten inches that separated us made me smile again.

“You look nice,” I said.

She looked up at me, and I watched as her lips broke into a sweet, sideways smile.

“Thanks,” she said. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

I felt my grin growing wider, and suddenly, it didn’t matter that she was leaving again the next day. At least I had tonight.

I thought of something then—something I had been waiting to tell her.

“Hey, remember prom night our senior year and you said that you only had one wish in life?” I asked her.

She laughed.

“For
New Milford to get a pizza place,” she said, bobbing her head.

Her gaze was straight ahead, and a pretty smile lingered on her lips.

“Well…,” I said.

“No,” she exclaimed, quickly angling her face back toward mine.

“Yes,” I confirmed.

She shoved my shoulder. It moved me only slightly, but it did cause my smile to grow wider.

“I can’t believe it,” she shouted.

“Believe,” I said.

“Where?” she asked.

“Downtown, next to the movie theater,” I said.

Her mouth was slightly frozen open. It looked sexy and playful all at the same time.

“Have you been?” she asked.

Her excitement made me laugh.

“I have,” I said, nodding my head. “It’s good.”

“I have to go,” she exclaimed and then paused.

I watched her stare fall to the shoes dangling from her fingertips.

“Next time,” she said, as her wide smile began to fade.

I nodded my head and felt my grin vanishing too.

“Next time,” I softly agreed.

There was silence for a moment again. And my eyes fell onto the dress she was wearing. It was green. It matched her pretty eyes. But it also reminded me of the green dress she wore to homecoming our junior year. We stayed up all night that night—her in my arms—and watched the sun come up in the morning.

“You’re in too many of my memories, Jules,” I said, as a grin fought its way back to my lips again.

Her eyes instantly fell into mine. And then, slowly, her eyebrows drew closer together and one corner of her mouth faintly rose.

“I have that same problem,” she said, softly laughing into the subtle breeze.

I held my gaze in her eyes, until her stare broke and returned to her hands and
her shoes, now slowly swaying from side to side. Then, I sucked in a deep breath of cool air, and at the same time, felt my smile wane.

“How do you like it out there?” I asked.

I watched as her chest rose and then fell.

“It’s beautiful,” she said, sending me a quick glance.

A wide smile had returned to her face.

“But a different kind of beautiful than here,” she continued. “I mean, there’s a lot of traffic and a lot of people. But the ocean is perfect, and there are mountains, and there’s an orange tree in my neighbor’s front yard.”

“An orange tree, really?” I asked.

Her pretty eyes were big.

“I know, that’s what I said,” she exclaimed, nodding her head.

She looked so happy all of a sudden.

“And school?” I asked.

She laughed.

“It’s school—on steroids,” she said. “I just never thought that I could cram this much stuff into my brain at one time. It’s so much stuff.”

She emphasized the so, but she was smiling as she said it.

“You like it though?” I asked.

She nodded again.

“I do,” she said.

She paused then.

“What about you?” she asked. “How’s the job going?”

I nodded my head before I spoke.

“It’s great,” I said and meant it. “There’s always something going on. I like that about it.”

“Please, God, tell me there hasn’t been any more close calls,” she demanded.

I watched her eyelids fall over her eyes and her hand rush to her chest and cover her heart. Then, I softly chuckled to myself.

“No,” I reassured her. “No close calls, knock on wood.”

I knocked on the wooden arm of the bench.

“But I’ve also got my guardian angel,” I said, tou
ching my hand to my heart.

She found my eyes again and smiled.

“There you are,” a voice suddenly called out from behind us. “You ready? You promised. This song.”

My eyes traveled toward the voice, as a girl with auburn hair planted her feet directly in front of Jules and me. She was smiling wide, and her head was cocked playfully in my direction. I glanced back at Julia and then back at the girl. And in that time, the girl’s eyes had fallen on Jules.

“Uh, Taylor,” I stuttered, trying to remember her name again. “This is Julia. Julia, this is Taylor.”

I watched as Julia’s eyes widened a little and her lips fell slightly open.

“Taylor,” Julia repeated then, as if she were remembering something.

Taylor
extended her hand.

“Nice to meet you,” she said, in a Missouri-Bootheel twang.

Julia raised her hand to meet Taylor’s. Her smile was poised.

“You ready?”
Taylor asked again, quickly redirecting her attention to me.

Everything in me was shouting no, as I stumbled onto Julia’s eyes again.

“Go,” she whispered, so softly that I was sure Taylor couldn’t hear it.

“The next one?” I asked her.

Jules smiled.

“Next time,” she said.

I hesitated. There was something in her voice that made me feel as if there wouldn’t be a next time. A sudden sadness took hold of my chest then and squeezed it tight. I almost told Taylor that I couldn’t leave Julia, but I didn’t. Julia was happy; I could tell. And there was a part of me that wondered if my interference would somehow shatter that happiness.

I reluctantly returned my gaze to
Taylor. She shot me a wide grin, and then I slowly lifted myself up from the bench. But when I was on my feet again, I turned back and met Jules’s eyes one, last time. She smiled her beautiful smile, and I tried my best to force a smile too. Then, I begrudgingly followed Taylor to the dance floor.

...

The song ended, and immediately, I searched the faces on the dance floor for Julia. I didn’t see her, but I did see Rachel.

“Rach, have you seen Jules?” I asked, when I got close enough for her to hear me.

Rachel turned and met my eyes.

“She had to go,” Rachel said. “She’s got an early flight tomorrow—gotta get back to her big-city life. She doesn’t have time for us small-townies anymore.”

She elbowed my arm and giggled.

“God love her,” she went on. “Maybe she’ll take me with her next time.”

She eyed her boyfriend and deviously smiled.

Jon stared at her for a second. Then, without warning, he shrouded her in a big bear hug and squeezed her close to his side

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said.

Rachel giggled again and then dramatically sighed.

“Maybe another life then,” she said, staring back up at me.

I tried to force a smile, but in the end, I just didn’t have the strength. Everything in me was focused on Julia and on the one thought that was swirling endlessly around in my mind:
How could I have let her get away again?

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