My Childhood (25 page)

"'I know quite well that Vassili Vassilitch will not consent to give Varia to me, so I shall steal her; only you must help us.'

"So I was to help them. I could not help laughing at him, but he would not be turned from his purpose. 'You may stone me or you may help me, it is all the same to me--I shall not give in,' he said.

"Then Varvara went to him, laid her hand on his shoulder, and said: 'We have been talking of getting married a long time--we ought to have been married in May.'

"How I started! Good Lord!"

Grandmother began to laugh, and her whole body shook; then she took a pinch of snuff, dried her eyes and said, sighing comfortably:

"You can't understand that yet . . . you don't know what marrying means . . . but this you can understand--that for a girl to give birth to a child before she is married is a dreadful calamity. Remember that, and when you are grown-up never tempt a girl in that way; it would be a great sin on your part-- the girl would be disgraced, and the child illegitimate. See that you don't forget that! You must be kind to women, and love them for their own sakes, and not for the sake of self-indulgence. This is good advice I am giving you."

She fell into a reverie, rocking herself in her chair; then, shaking herself, she began again:

"Well, what was to be done? I hit Maxim on the forehead, and pulled Varia's plait; but he said reasonably enough: 'Quarreling won't put things right.' And she said: 'Let us think what is the best thing to do first, and have a row afterwards.'

"'Have you any money
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' I asked him.

"'I had some,' he replied, 'but I bought Varia a ring with it.'

"'How much did you have then?'

"'Oh,' says he, 'about a hundred roubles.'

"Now at that time money was scarce and things were dear, and I looked at the two--your mother and father--and I said to myself: 'What children! . . . What young fools!'

"'I hid the ring under the floor,' said your mother, 'so that you should not see it. We can sell it.'

"Such children they were--both of them! However, we discussed the ways and means for them to be married in a week's time, and I promised to arrange the matter with the priest. But I felt very uncomfortable myself, and my heart went pit-a-pat, because I was so frightened of grandfather; and Varia was frightened too, painfully so. Well, we arranged it all!

"But your father had an enemy--a certain workman, an evil-minded man who had guessed what was going on long ago, and now watched our movements. Well, I arrayed my only daughter in the best things I could get, and took her out to the gate, where there was a troika waiting. She got into it, Maxim whistled, and away they drove. I was going back to the house, in tears, when I ran across this man, who said in a cringing tone:

"'I have a good heart, and I shall not interfere with the workings of Fate; only, Akulina Ivanovna, you must give me fifty roubles for keeping quiet.'

"But I had no money; I did not like it, nor care to save it, and so I told him, like a fool:

"'I have no money, so I can't give you any.'

"'Well,' he said, 'you can promise it to me.'

"'How can I do that? Where am I to get it from after I have promised?'

"'Is it so difficult to steal from a rich husband?' he says.

"'If I had not been a fool I should have temporized with him; but I spat full in his ugly mug, and went into the house. And he rushed into the yard and raised a hue and cry."

Closing her eyes, she said, smiling:

"Even now I have a lively remembrance of that daring deed of mine. Grandfather roared like a wild beast, and wanted to know if they were making fun of him. As it happened, he had been taking stock of Varia lately, and boasting about her: 'I shall marry her to a nobleman--a gentleman!' Here was a pretty nobleman for him!--here was a pretty gentleman! Bur the Holy Mother of God knows better than we do what persons ought to be drawn together.

"Grandfather tore about the yard as if he were on fire, calling Jaakov and Michael and even--at the suggestion of that wicked workman--Klima, the coachman too. I saw him take a leathern strap with a weight tied on the end of it, and Michael seized his gun. We had good horses then, full of spirit, and the carriage was light. 'Ah well!' I thought, 'they are sure to overtake them.' But here Varia's Guardian Angel suggested something to me. I took a knife and cut the ropes belonging to the shafts. 'There! they will break down on the road now.' And so they did. The shafts came unfastened on the way, and nearly killed grandfather and Michael--and Klima too, besides delaying them; and by the time they had repaired it, and dashed up to the church, Varia and Maxim were standing in the church porch married--thank God!

"Then our people started a fight with Maxim; but he was in very good condition and he was rare and strong. He threw Michael away from the porch and broke his arm. Klima also was injured; and grandfather and Jaakov and that workman were all frightened!

"Even in his rage he did not lose his presence of mind, but he said to grandfather:

"'You can throw away that strap. Don't wave it about over me, for I am a man of peace, and what I have taken is only what God gave me, and no man shall take from me . . . and that is all I have to say to you.'

"They gave it up then, and grandfather returned to the carriage crying:

"'It is good-by now, Varvara! You are no daughter of mine, and I never wish to see you again, either alive or dead of hunger.'

"When he came home he beat me, and he scolded me; but all I did was to groan and hold my tongue.

"Everything passes away, and what is to be will be. After this he said to me:

"'Now, look here, Akulina, you have no daughter now. Remember that.'

"But I only said to myself:

"'Tell more lies, sandy-haired, spiteful man--say that ice is warm!'"

I listened attentively, greedily. Some part of her story surprised me, for grandfather had given quite a different account of mother's wedding; he said that he had been against the marriage and had forbidden mother to his house after it, but the wedding had not been secret, and he had been present in the church. I did not like to ask grandmother which of them spoke the truth, because her story was the more beautiful of the two, and I liked it best.

When she was telling a story she rocked from side to side all the time, just as if she were in a boat. If she was relating something sad or terrible, she rocked more violently, and stretched out her hands as if she were pushing away something in the air; she often covered her eyes, while a sightless, kind smile hid itself in her wrinkled cheek, but her thick eyebrows hardly moved. Sometimes this uncritical friendliness of hers to everybody touched my heart, and sometimes I wished that she would use strong language and assert herself more.

"At first, for two weeks, I did not know where Varvara and Maxim were; then a little barefooted boy was sent to tell me. I went to see them on a Saturday--I was supposed to be going to vespers, but I went to them instead. They lived a long way off, on the Suetinsk Slope, in the wing of a house overlooking a yard belonging to some works--a dusty, dirty, noisy place; but they did not mind it--they were like two cats, quite happy, purring, and even playing together. I took them what I could--tea, sugar, cereals of various kinds, jam, flour, dried mushrooms, and a small sum of money which I had got from grandfather on the quiet. You are allowed to steal, you know, when it is not for yourself.

"But your father would not take anything. 'What! Are we beggars?' he says.

"And Varvara played the same tune. 'Ach! . . . What is this for, Mamasha?'

"I gave them a lecture. 'You young fools!' I said. 'Who am I, I should like to know? ... I am the mother God gave you . . . and you, silly, are my own flesh and blood. Are you going to offend me? Don't you know that when you offend your mother on earth, the Mother of God in Heaven weeps bitterly?'

"Then Maxim seized me in his arms and carried me round the room ... he actually danced--he was strong, the bear! And Varvara there, the hussy, was as proud as a peacock of her husband, and kept looking at him as if he were a new doll, and talked about housekeeping with such an air--you would have thought she was an old hand at it! It was comical to listen to her. And she gave us cheese-cakes for tea which would have broken the teeth of a wolf, and curds all sprinkled with dust.

"Things went on like this for a long time, and your birth was drawing near, but still grandfather never said a word--he is obstinate, our old man! I went to see them on the quiet, and he knew it; but he pretended not to. It was forbidden to any one in the house to speak of Varia, so she was never mentioned. I said nothing about her either, but I knew that a father's heart could not be dumb for long. And at last the critical moment arrived. It was night; there was a snowstorm raging, and it sounded as if bears were throwing themselves against the window. The wind howled down the chimneys; all the devils were let loose. Grandfather and I were in bed but we could not sleep.

"'It is bad for the poor on such a night as this,' I remarked; 'but it is worse for those whose minds are not at rest.'

"Then grandfather suddenly asked: "'How are they getting on? All right?' "'Who are you talking about?' I asked. 'About our daughter Varvara and our son-in-law Maxim?'

"'How did you guess who I meant?'

"'That will do, Father,' I said. 'Suppose you leave off playing the fool? What pleasure is to be got out of it?'

"He drew in his breath. 'Ach, you devil!' he said. 'You gray devil!'

"Later on he said: 'They say he is a great fool' (he was speaking of your father). 'Is it true that he is a fool?'

"'A fool,' I said, 'is a person who won't work, and hangs round other people's necks. You look at Jaakov and Michael, for instance; don't they live like fools? Who is the worker in this house? Who earns the money? You! And are they much use as assistants?'

"Then he fell to scolding me--I was a fool, an abject creature and a bawd, and I don't know what else. I held my tongue.

"'How can you allow yourself to be taken in by a man like that, when no one knows where he came from or what he is?'

"I kept quiet until he was tired, and then I said:

"'You ought to go and see how they are living. They are getting along all right.'

"'That would be doing them too much honor,' he said. 'Let them come here.'

"At this I cried for joy, and he loosened my hair (he loved to play with my hair) and muttered:

"'Don't upset yourself, stupid. Do you think I have not got a heart?'

"He used to be very good, you know, our grandfather, before he got an idea into his head that he was cleverer than any one else, and then he became spiteful and stupid.

"Well, so they came, your father and mother, one Saint's Day--both of them large and sleek and neat; and Maxim stood in front of grandfather, who laid a hand on his shoulder--he stood there and he said:

"'Don't think, Vassili Vassilitch, that I have come to you for a dowry; I have come to do honor to my wife's father.'

"Grandfather was very pleased at this, and burst out laughing. 'Ach!--you fighter!' he said. 'You robber! Well,' he said, 'we 'll be indulgent for once. Come and live with me.'

"Maxim wrinkled his forehead. 'That must be as Varia wishes,' he said. 'It is all the same to me.'

"And then it began. They were at each other tooth and nail all the time; they could not get on together anyhow. I used to wink at your father and kick him under the table, but it was no use; he would stick to his own opinion. He had very fine eyes, very bright and clear, and his brows were dark, and when he drew them together his eyes were almost hidden, and his face became stony and stubborn. He would not listen to any one but me. I loved him, if possible, more than my own children, and he knew this and loved me too. Sometimes he would hug me, and catch me up in his arms, and drag me round the room, saying: 'You are my real mother, like the earth. I love you more than I love Varvara.' And your mother (when she was happy she was very saucy) would fly at him and cry: 'How dare you say such a thing, you rascal?' And the three of us would romp together. Ah! we were happy then, my dear. He used to dance wonderfully well too--and such beautiful songs he knew. He picked them up from the blind people; and there are no better singers than the blind.

"Well, they settled themselves in the outbuilding in the garden, and there you were born on the stroke of noon. Your father came home to dinner, and you were there to greet him. He was so delighted that he was almost beside himself, and nearly tired your mother out; as if he did not realize, the stupid creature, what an ordeal it is to bring a child into the world. He put me on his shoulder and carried me right across the yard to grandfather to tell him the news--that another grandson had appeared on the scene. Even grandfather laughed: 'What a demon you are, Maxim!' he said.

"But your uncles did not like him. He did not drink wine, he was bold in his speech, and clever in all kinds of tricks--for which he was bitterly paid out. One day, for instance, during the great Fast, the wind sprang up, and all at once a terrible howling resounded through the house. We were all stupefied. What did it mean? Grandfather himself was terrified, ordered lamps to be lit all over the house, and ran about, shouting at the top of his voice:
^r
We must offer up prayers together!'

"And suddenly it stopped--which frightened us still more. Then Uncle Jaakov guessed. 'This is Maxim's doing, I am sure!' he said. And afterwards Maxim himself confessed that he had put bottles and glasses of various kinds in the dormer-window, and the wind blowing down the necks of the vessels produced the sounds, all by itself. 'These jokes will land you in Siberia again if you don't take care, Maxim,' said grandfather menacingly.

"One year there was a very hard frost and wolves began to come into the towns from the fields; they killed the dogs, frightened the horses, ate up tipsy watchmen, and caused a great panic. But your father took his gun, put on his snow-shoes, and tracked down two wolves. He skinned them, cleaned out their heads, and put in glass eyes--made quite a good job of it, in fact. Well, Uncle Michael went into the vestibule for something, and came running back at once, with his hair on end, his eyes rolling, gasping for breath, and unable to speak. At length he whispered: 'Wolf!' Every one seized anything which came to hand in the shape of a weapon, and rushed into the vestibule with lights; they looked and saw a wolf's head sticking out from behind a raised platform. They beat him, they fired at him--and what do you think he was? They looked closer, and saw that it was nothing but a skin and an empty head, and its front feet were nailed to the platform. This time grandfather was really very angry with Maxim.