Authors: Jacqueline Druga
“Yes, well …” He sipped and handed it back. “Even under the circumstances you looked cozy in that selfie.”
“You looked?”
“I was curious to what pictures you took. So, yes. I looked.”
“He was so stoned.” I ate the last spoonful of my pudding.
“Still is,” Lev said. “He may have a problem.”
“Ya’ know…” I dragged my words as I scraped my spoon. “He kind of hit on me in that stoned state.” I put down the bowl. “Said he and I were gonna be some sort of post apocalyptic hook up buddies.”
“He was high.”
“What if I told you, not now, but down the road I was thinking about it?”
“I would tell you that you are grief stricken and not thinking clearly.”
“Okay.” I extended the pint to him. “And if I said I was thinking that way about ... you down the road.”
“I would say you are being very wise and thinking of the future.” He smiled.
I laughed. “You know, Lev.” I drew up a serious tone. “I owe you so much.”
“You owe me nothing.”
“I owe you everything. What you have done for me …”
“Nila,” he said. “Please don’t. I did what I did because I am your friend. No matter what years put between us, I am always your friend. There’s no owing here.”
“Fair enough. I just need you to know how much I appreciate all that you’ve done and … I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know where we’ll be or what will go on, I do know … that I don’t want to do any of it without you.”
“That is very nice of you to say.” He reached for the pint. “But really … you don’t have a choice. I’m not going anywhere. What did he call me when I showed up?” He winked and handed back the pint. “The human chastity belt?”
“I believe he did.” I leaned back in that folding lawn chair next to Lev, enjoying the star filled sky and the peaceful night.
It was hard to believe outside our camp the world was so ugly, dangerous and dead.
However, there was still a world out there. One I eventually wanted to search and I was so glad to hear, that no matter what, Lev was going to be there with my family.
There was a song and the lyrics went, ‘
Step by step, Heart to heart, Left, right, left. We all fall down ...Like toy soldiers’
How true that song seemed in the days and weeks that passed since the outbreak.
Paul, Cade’s sister, Boswick, Lisa, Hannah … Addy.
Then … Manny died. No matter how hard Cade tried to save him, he passed peacefully in his sleep. Edi didn’t even tell us at first. She made breakfast, helped clean up and then calmly turned to Lev and said, “Can I get you to dig a grave? My Manny has died.”
What?
She handled it better than any of us.
Step by step.
It all fell down.
There were four left. My father said he didn’t see it. Of course not, we were secure within the confines of Camp Earl.
However, by the second week of July only four camps checked in on the radios. Within five weeks people just stopped responding. Helena said it was possible and more than likely, generators powering the radios had died. She herself was going to be going off air all but once a week. Gasoline was down to a minimum and they were going to try to make a run for some. Hers was the one camp that stayed put, never left. To hear her say she was leaving told me they hit desperate times.
I told her if she needed to, if she could get to us, she was welcome at our camp. To me, those of us who checked in on the radio were not the only ones.
There had to be more life out there.
I wouldn’t know.
We were prisoners in our own fenced in camp compound.
Scared of what was out there, and what was not.
So much time had passed since we arrived at the cabin, I couldn’t imagine there was any infection left. Yet, two days earlier a straggler came to the fence.
Cade kept saying a week. If we go one week without seeing any infected then we should leave.
Every time an infected or straggler showed up it started the clock over again.
My garden was a visual indication of how much time had passed. It had flourished. We had reached the point where we were starting to pick tomatoes and carrots.
Edi joined us. She wanted to find vegetables she could can.
I wished she hadn’t. Not that she didn’t need the diversion, she did, but it was unbelievably hot. Even Katie was having a hard time.
“Can I go inside?” she asked.
“In a little bit,” I said. “Edi, you shouldn’t be out here. Why don’t you go in the back room and turn on the air conditioner.”
Lev had gone to Big Bear to get that air conditioner, he brought it back when he grabbed the laptop and printer so I could print all my pictures. The air conditioning unit worked well in my father’s bedroom and we used it for him and Edi to cool off.
“No,” Edi shook her head. “We can’t rely on electronics. We need to adjust.”
I watched as she wiped the sweat from her brow. Then I lifted the cloth and wiped off Katie’s face.
It had to be nearly a hundred degrees outside.
We had a few more things to pick then we’d go inside, or on the porch to cool down.
I noticed a dark shadow fall on us, and when Katie said. “Oh, good, stay there.” I peered up to see Lev and Cade blocking our sun.
“Ladies,” Cade said. “Lev has an idea to help us cool down.”
“If it’s a water battle again.” I said. “My father will bitch.”
“No.” Lev shook his head. “Remember when we were kids, the best way to cool off was to swim just before the sun went down. I don’t want to wait until it’s dark, but if we go after two it should cool us down.”
“Ha, ha, ha,” I said. “There’s no pool.”
“I was thinking the end of the lake. You know where people swam,” Lev said.
Immediately, I jumped to my feet. “You mean leave camp? We haven’t left camp in a week. None of us have. Not even to go to Big Bear.”
Cade nodded. “I think it’s a great idea and going out five miles will give us an indication of what’s going on now. Last time we saw stragglers. Maybe this time we’ll see nothing.”
“Can I go?” Katie asked. “Please.”
“Will it be safe for her?” I questioned.
Lev folded his arms. “Really?”
I held up my hands. “You’re right. My bad.” I spun around. “Edi, will you go?”
“You know what?” she said. “I think I would like to walk in the water. Yes. Yes. I will go.”
It was a plan. I was excited and we were leaving the campground. To me, it was going to be one big group field trip, until Lev told me we weren’t all going.
He had spoken to my father who didn’t think it was wise to leave our camp unattended and Cade offered to stay behind. I thought it was a very unselfish move on Cade’s part until I found out he was going to lock himself in the air conditioned room.
The hours waiting to go ticked by slowly. I don’t think anyone understood how stir crazy I was. My days were spent staring at the fence waiting on a straggler, missing those who had died and hoping that my brother would show up. I knew he was out in the world, alive and healthy and making his way to us. I just wished he would get to the cabin.
There was no long-term planning, nothing other than looking at that fence, thinking of Addy and X’ing another day off the calendar.
Cross off to what? It was more of a day count than a count down.
When it was time to go swimming, it was like we were leaving for a long planned vacation. Edit wore a sundress, I put on an old pair of shorts and Katie donned an old bathing suit. It was a bright spot to our day instead of the same routine.
We got in the pickup truck, Edi and Katie were in the tiny back seat. We started the enthusiastic chatter before we were all the way through the gate. My father waved us through.
“Are you going to swim, Lev?” Katie asked.
“No, I’m going to watch and make sure you guys are safe.”
“But if there is no one around. You can swim.”
“Maybe.”
Immediately, Katie started singing a ‘We’re going swimming’ song. Her mood was so positive and it had been a long time since I saw my daughter genuinely so happy. All that came to a screeching halt when Lev slowed down then stopped the truck before we even got to the bottom of the driveway.
I was too busy, half turned around, talking to Katie and Edi to see why.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“That wasn’t there a week ago,” Lev pointed to the light blue car parked blocking the driveway. The driver’s door was wide open.
“Is anyone in it?”
“Doesn’t look like it. Stay here.” Lev opened the driver’s door.
I repeated his words to Edi and Katie, then, after grabbing my pistol from under the seat, I followed Lev.
“Nila,” he scolded. “I told you to stay put.”
He kept walking toward the car, and I peered around. The car was filthy and the driver’s window was so caked with mud it was hard to imagine the driver could see out.
“Get back in the truck. We have to turn around. We have to go back. Cade’s in the air conditioning he won’t hear if something is going on.”
While I wasn’t going to argue about going back to be safe, I thought maybe Lev was over reacting, until I got a quick glance of the inside of the car. The interior and seats were smeared with blood.
I slipped the pistol in the back of my shorts to be ready and we both ran back to the truck.
“What is it, Mommy? What’s wrong?” Katie asked.
“Don’t worry sweetie, everything is okay.” I said.
Lev backed up the truck to turn around and when he did, the rear tire got caught on the side of the driveway. The tires spun and it took him several times of going from forward to reverse to break free. Once he did, he sped back up the driveway.
Nearly at the top, Lev hit the brakes again when a male figure came from the edge of the woods and ran toward the front gate. My father who had opened and closed the gate behind us was not that far from the gate. It hadn’t been that long since we pulled away.
“Oh my God,” I said when I got a good look at the man. “That’s Bobby.” I grabbed the door handle of the truck.
“Nila!” Lev yelled.
“Bobby!” I shouted.
My father stopped walking and turned around at the same time that Bobby spun to face me. I saw my father running back to the gate. “Bobby.”
Bobby looked at me.
I took two more steps toward my brother, when Lev called my name again. It was at that moment, I recognized the stance he held. The slight hunch, arms extended outward.
My brother had driven all the way to us. He kept going, nonstop. He had to make it home. But somewhere, somehow, Bobby got sick. I believe he took a turn for the worst on the driveway and planned to die there.
Then he turned.
Clink.
The chains slipped from the gate.
My father had unlocked it.
“Bobby?” he called out.
“Dad! No!” I screamed. “Close it.”
My father heard me, he must have finally gotten a look at Bobby, but before he could close the gate, Bobby barreled through. In an attempt to block his son, my father held out his arms and Bobby, mouth first, tore into my father’s forearm. There was a rip of flesh and his head sprung up as he looked at the cabin. Cade had stepped out on the porch.
I couldn’t help it, I screamed. Lev yelled to Edi to stay put, and he rushed forward, rifle in hand and I followed.
Bobby, without missing a beat, gave up his attack on my father and raced full speed toward Cade.
My father rolled over, holding his arm and sat up. “Stop him.”
Lev lifted the rifle. “I can’t get a clear shot. Cade! Back in the cabin!”
Was Cade trying to register what all was going on? He lifted the shovel that sat next to the door and hurried off the porch to engage in battle with Bobby.
My brother was fueled by a virus that made him unstoppable.
Cade swung out, the shovel connected with Bobby, but it didn’t faze him.
Just like when Lev hit Paul, Bobby sprang back and plowed into Cade, knocking him back to the porch.
I could hear Cade scream as he struggled, both of them turning in the entanglement. There was no way to get a shot in without hitting Cade.
He was fighting for his life.
That fight was short lived.
One more flip of their entwined bodies, and Bobby ended up above Cade. He leaned forward. Cade released one deep cry out, as Bobby ripped into his neck. Victoriously, my brother lifted up, proudly displaying his mouthful of blood and flesh.
From the corner of my eye, I watched Lev lift the rifle.
“No.” I said with a whimpered. “No. I can’t let you ... not this time.” I raised my pistol and called out. “Bobby?”
When my brother looked at me, still on top of Cade, I didn’t hesitate, nor blink.
Lev had taken care of so much, he carried so much.
It was Bobby’s idea for us to hide away at the cabin, to stay safe, and Bobby in one minute crumbled our sanctuary.
I asked my brother to come home. To do everything he could to get to us. He did.
It was my responsibility to end it.
I pulled the trigger.
One shot.
It was done.
My entire body went numb and I fell, arms outward, to my knees releasing a deep cry from my soul.
Cade, my brother … my father.
“Jesus,” I heard Lev exclaim and saw him run by me to the porch and to Cade.
Then my father brushed by me, and whimpered when he did, blood dripped from his arm as he staggered up the porch and dropped down to Bobby’s body. He rolled Bobby into his chest and him.
Slowly, I stood in some sort of shock.
Lev held his hand over Cade’s neck, trying to put pressure on the wound, his fingers buried beneath the blood. Then Lev looked at me, his eyes saddened as he shook his head, fell back to a sitting position and brought his bloody hands to his face.
I tried to move, to think, breathe. I peered over my shoulder to the truck still at the gate. The doors were closed.
Keep her away, Edi
, I thought,
please keep the baby away.
My legs didn’t want to move and I stumbled my way on the porch. Cade was dead, he bled out almost instantly on that porch. I believed him to be invincible, a good man. We had survived this long, it wasn’t fair.
My heart wasn’t just broken, it was crushed.
Bobby was gone, too. My father … the man who had always been a tower of strength, the man who didn’t shed a tear when my mother died, who never shed a tear, held his oldest child in his arms and wept from the depths of his soul.
We as a family were broken.
It didn’t matter if there was still time to wait, to me, right there and then … it was over.