Read My Demons (The Angel Trilogy #2) Online
Authors: Kimberly Blalock
“You’re so beautiful,” Evan says, when I open the door.
I look down at the dress I’ve chosen, not sure that it was the right choice. “Thank you.” My heart jumps.
“Ready?” He holds his hand out for mine.
I nod.
We’re in the Hummer the music sweeping through in a low buzz. I fumble with my phone as it buzzes.
I lift it to my lap readjusting my seatbelt as I do. I gasp throwing my hand to my mouth seeing the unknown number, only this time they’ve sent a picture.
“What’s wrong?” Evan catches my gasp.
I don’t answer, I can’t because the picture I’m seeing isn’t what I’d expected.
“What the fuck?” He grabs the phone from my hands.
“I don’t know who’s sent it.” I don’t mention all the other text messages I’ve gotten, and he’s never asked why I’ve changed my number so many times so I’ve never given any info. I’ve had enough drama, I just want it all to be normal again.
“This is Marco,” His eyes meet mine. “Why is there an unknown number texting you pictures of Marco and other women?”
“I see that it’s Marco,” I want to rip Marco’s eyes out of his head. “I don’t know why I’m getting them.” If I’m honest I knew this was his game; women and drugs. Everyone’s tried to tell me. A sigh leaves my lips.
“Abby, this is serious.”
“I get that, but I need peace and normalcy right now.”
“Ok We’ll have peace now, but I
will
be dealing with this.” My eyes agree to the inevitable.
Chapter Fifteen
Abby
I feel like a broken girl sitting on the floor surrounded by dead rose pedals. The lies and deceit never end and I can’t take much more.
“I don’t know Marco like I thought I did, do I?” I turn my head looking over my shoulder. This cuts like a knife and I want to crumble onto the floor.
“No.” He slides next to me with the most incredible warmth.
For the first time, I feel like this is where I need to be. Nothing can bring me to pure calm and exhilaration all at the same time. Not like this moment.
Evan’s fingers trace over my waist then wrapping his arms around me. His face is close and I know this because of the hot breath that heats my neck. My heart is suddenly pounding in my chest. I want to turn around and throw myself at him without warning so I can feel the raw physical connection.
“I’m sorry, angel…” he pauses. “I didn’t want you to have to deal with this ever again. I want to be the only one that makes you smile and cry.”
I flinch.
“Cry? Why would you want to make me
cry
?” I ask confused.
My body’s in sudden motion and I’m face to face with the blue eyes that have brought me to my knees a hundred times over the past few months, without one single act showing him how I feel when he’s in my presence. My soul comes to the undeserving conclusion it wants to love this man.
His hands fiercely take hold of my face. I see something in his eyes the second I make eye contact. His eyes are claiming me, taking everything he can from me, and I know from this very moment I will always be his.
Our lips move to each other’s like magnets. As the electricity forms at the tip of my lips from the mere contact, I want all of the love at the other end. I want to reach out and tuck the feeling deep in my heart where it’s safe and untouchable.
Evan slowly releases my lips and stares hard into my timid eyes. “I want every emotion that you have to come from your feelings for
me
, not
him
.” He closes his eyes. “I’m not gonna lie, Abby, I want you to love me. I want you to love me the way that I love you. I want you to never want anyone the way that you want me. I want to be the man that makes you laugh, cry, and smile.” He sighs. “I want you to be mine forever.”
My heart runs as fast as it can and free falls into oblivion. “I love you, Evan Young.” For the first time since my sister has died, I feel what it’s like to completely connect with another human being. It’s intense and overwhelming but in the very best way.
There are no happily ever after’s or perfect lives to be found in the darkness I’ve been in for so long, but here with Evan the light shines brightly and I see it all so clearly now.
Evan takes me into his arms, not to devour me with his mouth, but instead he devours me with his heart and I feel it. I know that he has every feeling I’m having. His heart is pounding in his chest harder with every second he holds me.
“I’ve never had the feeling that I can’t live or breathe without another person before you, and I can’t let you go Abby.” I’m in shock as my eyes follow a glistening tear that’s gliding down Evan’s cheek getting lost in the shadow. “Marry me.”
I… I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe.
Evan takes my hands into his and it’s all there; the warmth, the feelings, the overwhelming love that my heart has been keeping hidden in the dark room where my fear hides, except this dark room was behind another protected by a key. A key that has just been recovered and a door that has just been unlocked. Every memory that was hidden is suddenly free and I remember him.
“I remember, Evan, I remember everything,” I gasp.
My head is swimming in everything and yet nothing that I expected. I actually feel like my head is completely clear, like coming off medication that’s been clouding my mind.
What I see next isn’t happiness it’s disappointment. Fear attacks and I don’t know what I’ve done to ‘cause this reaction from him.
“Aren’t you happy?” I ask.
His eyes close tight and he inhales a sharp breath blowing out as his eyes open. “You remember everything?”
“I remember everything, Evan.” I nod.
I remember love, anger, fear, and…
“Yes.” I smile.
“Yes?”
“Yes, I’ll marry you.”
No words are spoken in the next few moments and our breathing becomes labored. My heart is squeezed into my chest as I stare into his eyes, the deepest blue.
“You remember the day you were hit?” he whispers cupping my face moving us closer to each other.
My eyes furrow together because that day is actually still fuzzy, but…
“Yeah sorta,” I answer.
“Wait, did you actually just agree to be my wife?”
“Yes.” I smile.
“I… ” he starts and then pauses, “I… I… I think I’m speechless. Holy shit you want to marry me?”
I laugh at the very innocent, playful man in front of me right now.
“Yes, I… ” Now I’m the one taking the deep breath. “I have loved you from that first second you walked into my apartment, Evan. Everything else is insignificant.”
I’ve been waiting for months to get my memory back and now finally I do and Evan’s here, and thank God, because he’s exactly what I want to remember. I’ve had guilt all this time knowing I was hurting him and knowing there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I could just look at him and know I loved him, but the feelings were pulling me to Marco because that’s who I knew.
It all makes sense now.
“Come closer,” I whisper even though he’s about as close as he can possibly be.
Well…
“Abby, I will love you until the day I’m cold and lifeless in the ground. Until that day comes, I’ll be as close to you as I can possibly be.” A tear falls from my eye, but it’s not coming from the dark place, it’s coming from a bright one filled with love. “Let’s call the doctor, tell them you remember,” he says.
“Tomorrow we’ll call. Tonight’s for us.” I link my hand with his.
“That’s the best six words… wait seven words I’ve heard my whole life,” he says while counting the words on his free hand. I giggle because I’ve missed this. Oh my God, I’ve missed this. I’ve lost so much and I intend to get it all back.
Starting now…
I live…
I love…
Now, I allow myself to
be
loved again.
Chapter Sixteen
Evan
I’ve waited a lifetime to find this kind of happiness and now… now, I have happiness in my heart that I’d never expected. Don’t get me wrong though because I’ve had pain. The pain I’m talking about is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
I just want to take this beautiful woman to my bed and love her, show her what happiness is supposed to feel like. The happiness I intend to give her exceeds all the happiness anyone has ever known.
I hope…
I want to say these things out loud, but the beast inside of me prevents that. I need to
show
her instead. That’s exactly what I intend to do.
Forever…
Abby is wearing the most beautiful pink dress, I’m no fashion expert, but I’m sure it came off a nice rack from Rodeo.
I quickly pull her into my hold off the hardwood floor and into my arms forever. The fact is, words don’t need to be spoken. My hands need to speak their words for lost time though and they intend to do just that.
“Evan?”
“Angel?” I answer as I carry her down the hallway to
our
bed.
She shakes her head and smiles. I smile back because how can I not, she’s my fucking oblivion.
“I remember this.” She smiles brighter looking up through those full lashes.
“I won’t let you forget it again. I’ll die before I ever let that happen.” I can’t help it, I pull her face in engulfing her mouth with mine. I will always want this. I will
always
love her. I lie her down and hover over her body with mine. Our mouths are making love, her taste is amazing and fuck if I haven’t thought about this every second of every day since forever.
“I love you,” she breathes into my mouth. I suck in a deep breath because I’m trying not to cry like a baby. My fucking dreams are coming true.
What’s not to cry about?
“Angel, I love you so much,” I tell her and a tear falls. I’m such a wuss, but I can’t help it, it is what it is. End of.
I have something for her and I can’t wait to give it to her, but I need her in my arms first. I raise my body from hers just to look at her to take her all in. She bats her lashes and I laugh. I don’t think she knows that she does that, but it’s so damn cute, so Abby.
“What?” she asks.
“I just can’t believe it.” I shake my head.
“Believe it… and Evan?”
“Yes?”
“Never let me go.”
I want to curse
‘Fuck no I won’t’
but Abby deserves gentle and that’s what I’m about to give her. Just when I think I’m in control, she reaches up and grabs my face forcefully bringing me down to her
soft skin.
“I won’t either.” She attacks my mouth.
Damn!
No more words need to be said. No, we only need each other now.
I run my hands through her long, thick, dark hair and a smile breaks at the corner of my lips because I still can’t believe this is happening.
My hands begin their way across her body. I get hard just thinking about touching her, so can you imagine what happens when it actually happens.
She moans through her breath as my hand makes contact with her breast. She wants this as much as I do. I slide my hand to her thigh and then under her dress. I need to touch her here, there, and everywhere.
Slowly my hand trails along the edge of my oblivion. Her full lips work into a circle-O as I make contact with the warmth holding inside her panties.
“Evan, I’m so sorry.” She begins to cry. I stop what I’m doing because I don’t know why she’s upset.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” I reach for her face.
“Nothing’s wrong.” She nods her head. “It’s perfect.”
“Then why are you apologizing?”
“I hurt you and you hurt me and we went all that time… all that time, Evan. We missed so much time.” I rub away her tears with the pads of my thumbs.
“Angel, it’s all right. I knew you would come back to me. Our love was meant to be and nothing’s ever going to mess with that again. If I’ve ever promised anything in my life, I promise to make sure that doesn’t happen again. I will stand at the gates of hell burning for eternity before I
ever
allow that to happen again. “So does this mean you’ll finally agree to move in with me?” I have to ask. I don’t intend to have her anywhere else though.
“Mhmmm.” She nods.
“Holy shit my night just keeps getting better and better.”
“Evan.”
“Sorry,” I apologize for cursing. Good thing she isn’t in my head, huh?
“Thank you.” She traces her hand down my face. “Do you know how you make me feel?”
“The same way that you make me feel… alive.”
“I feel like you’re my gravity.”
Damn this girl had me at
‘feel.’
“I want to make love to you. I want to feel every inch of your body in my hands and on my tongue.” I kiss her hand. “Your mine forever Abby and I’m never letting you go. I love you so much.” I need her to understand what I’m feeling, but I don’t know that she can, I don’t even know that I do. This is way outside anything that I understand.
“I’m yours forever, Evan.” Her hands caress my face.
I slip my hand through her fingers holding it there on my face for a few seconds and then finding the need to take her here and now, I slide my body over hers causing her to lean back on the bed.
My hands trail over her soft skin. I get hard instantly. I’m always ready to take her any minute, no warm up needed. My face hovers above hers, my eyes are doing all the talking. Her bright green eyes sparkle back at me and I know that there will never be another woman that I’ll love with this intensity. It will always be her – it has always only ever been her.
“I love you, angel, always.” Her hands quickly take my face bringing it to hers. “Love’s a funny word. It means so much and yet it’s not big enough for the feelings I have in my heart for you.” I breathe
She takes up my every thought with love and yeah the word is definitely not big enough. She picks me up when I’m down and catches me when I’m ready to fall. But love is the only word I know how to use for expressing how I feel. Unless my body’s in charge and then it’s my fucking oblivion.
Chapter Seventeen
Evan
My eyes open and I hear footsteps clanking against the hardwood floor. I know that someone’s in the apartment.
But who?
I quickly assess Abby. She’s sleeping peacefully. I cover her tiny body in the large bed. Since she
is
small, it’s almost impossible to see her in the huge king bed with the blanket over her.