My Desperado (29 page)

"He must have had his reason for waiting."

"Lat's always got his reasons." Travis nodded, but the movement felt stiff and unnatural. "Said he'd thought I'd get myself killed if I took on Delias too soon. Said I had a better chance with the Confederacy. Only he'd never been to war. Didn't know what it does to a man."

Suddenly, she was holding his arms, her small heart-shaped face lifted toward his. "What did it do to you?" she whispered.

"You see so much death. So much dying." He could see it now. As if it had never ended. "Sometimes it seems like you're already dead. Like it don't matter. Nothing matters."

"You matter, Travis."

He was trapped in her eyes. He knew better than to let it happen, but he'd been caught off guard again. "I can't protect you, lady," he breathed. "Latigo padded my reputation, made me out to be a fast draw, a ruthless killer. Hell!" He snorted. "Some say I'm a ghost, that I couldn't have lived through what I did. So I must have died and come back. Lat, he liked the idea, thinking that would scare folks real good. That it would surely help me survive. But I'm telling you it's all a fairytale. I can't keep you safe."

"I'm not asking you to."

"Wearing a gun, it don't keep you alive, lady. There's always someone faster. Somebody with something to prove. You got to go back east. I won't watch you die."

"I'm not going to die."

Travis hugged her then, crushing her against his chest. Above her head his eyes fell closed, and against the softness of her breasts his heart ached with a longing he was powerless to ignore.

"Death surrounds me, lady."

"No." Her voice was almost silent against his chest. "I love you."

He grabbed her arms, pushing her away to glare into her face. "Don't say that again. You'll stay with Latigo until this is all past. Then you'll go home. Back to Boston."

Her mouth had fallen ajar, and her silver eyes were round. “Travis..."

"Don't say it! You'll stay with Lat! Promise me!"

She shook her head.

"Promise me!" he said, gripping harder.

"All right," she whispered. "I promise."

They remained immobile, staring at each other and breathing hard.

"Good." He nodded once, feeling his guts roil. "You'll be safe with Lat. Three men can defend the house. He'll make certain nothing happens to you."

"Are you expecting me to trust him?"

Her tone was very cool now. Travis narrowed his eyes and studied her. "What are you asking?"

"You say I can't trust you, the man I..." She stopped the words before they were out. "You say I can't trust you to protect me. But you expect me to trust this Latigo?"

Travis still held her at arm's length, but didn't answer.

"You promised to teach me to defend myself. I'll not let you back out."

Travis drew a deep breath, letting his fingers tighten slightly on her arms. "I ain't made of steel, lady."

"Hardly that, Ryland."

"Being with you...alone… It's—"

"I don't give a damn what it is," she said, and, pulling her arms from his grasp, stepped quickly back, her strawberry lips pursed and her eyes hard. "You owe me that much."

The dog followed them out of camp that morning and cowered behind a log when Katherine tried her first shots. By nightfall she could hit a two-inch knot on a pine tree four times out of ten. Thirty-six hours later she had doubled her odds.

"So, Rye, can she shoot the stinger off a bee yet?" asked Finch. "Or you still workin' on the grip—firm, but not hard?"

Travis, as usual, sat with his back to the fire, for death would come from behind when it came, and the firelight was blinding. "Shut up, Finch."

"You ever know anyone as closed mouthed as Ryland? Won't tell y' nothin'," exclaimed Finch. "But I got me another source. Kat," he said, turning to her. "How's your fast... Damn." He interrupted himself as his gaze found her. "She's mighty purty when she sleeps, ain't she?"

Travis jerked about quickly. Kat lay propped with her head cocked back against a log. Her hat had fallen off, leaving her blue-black hair to shine in the glow of the firelight and her downy lashes to paint delicate shadows beneath her hidden eyes. Clothed in boys' garb, she looked like a lovely child who’d fallen asleep playing dress up. The sight made Ryland's chest ache and his breath stop for an instant. "When have you been watching her sleep, Finch?" he asked. The words sounded hoarse and deadly to his own ears.

But Finch had known him a long time, and held up an unoffending hand, as if to ward off his anger. "I ain't, Rye. I was just checkin't' see if you was awake."

Travis loosened his fist, forcing his muscles to relax, and turned back to the darkness again. "Shut up, Finch," he said dryly.

Saws chuckled behind him. "The wolf's still got a bite, don't he?"

"When the she-wolf's around," Elky said.

"I was hopin' she could tell us another one of them stories like the one last night," said Jacob, to which Luke nodded, and shifted uncomfortably on his blankets.

"Sorriest bunch of cowpokes I ever seen," grumbled Sawdust. "No better than Kat's Shadow there." His narrow eyes shifted to the dog that had slipped up behind Katherine and now lay snuggled up against her body. "Pretty soon you'll be rollin' over fer her t' scratch yer bellies, and sleepin' by her feet at night." He snorted at his own wit then turned his gaze to Ryland. "Well, maybe not sleepin' at her feet. Hell! Ain't someone gonna carry her to her bedroll?"

Jacob, Luke, and Finch offered at the same time, although Luke was a little slow in rising to do the job.

Travis, however, reached her first, brushing their arms away with a sweep of his own.

"You wanna keep them hands, boys?"

There were mumbles, a grin from Finch, and three young men backed away as Travis bent and lifted her into his arms.

Every man watched him as he carried her from the circle of firelight, but it was Cody's laughing eyes that made him want to swear.

She felt like a memory in his arms, like a dream he had once had. Not real, and yet not quite fantasy, but something so poignant in his mind that it would never be forgotten.

She had already spread her blankets beneath the sweeping branches of a lodgepole pine, and he set her there, gently settling her weight upon them, only to find he lacked the strength to draw away.

The moon had lifted over the mountain peaks and shone its gilded light upon her face now, shadowing and illuminating each feature with mystery and beauty. Travis's breath was trapped, and against her side his heart beat like the thundering hooves of a running stallion.

Katherine Simmons was the very image of everything that was good and fine. She was strength, and sweetness. She was beauty, and practicality. She was smart, and she was ignorant.

He watched her in silence.

She was his. And yet she was not.

"I love you, too," he whispered, and, closing his eyes, pulled his arms away to retreat into the night.

Chapter 28

Katherine lay quietly in the darkness. She had awakened while Travis carried her, had felt his emotions and heard his words.

He loved her. She held her breath, waiting for the euphoria to come. But it did not. Fear came instead, so strong it seemed to rip at her gut. But fear of what? Rejection? Loneliness? Her father had loved her, too.

Or was it the fact that love would not keep Travis safe that worried her? In fact, love was more likely to destroy him, for he was determined to kill the men that threatened her safety. Just as he was determined to clear her name.

She knew him. She knew his intent. And she knew she must do something about it before it was too late.

Kat tried to sleep, but the memory of Travis's voice haunted her. He loved her. She sat up, hugging her knees and gazing into the darkness. He saw himself as evil, and would not allow himself to touch her again. She knew that, too.

But she was not so strong. She was terrified—terrified of being rejected, but more frightened of being alone.

Katherine was on her feet before she had time to think rationally. He loved her. She loved him, and there was no way of knowing how long they would have together. Surely wasting an opportunity for happiness was a greater sin than any her father had warned her against.

The camp fire had burned down to glowing embers. From somewhere in the darkness harmonica music rose up in a sorrowful tune.

Katherine moved on, her feet bare and silent, her heart hammering against her ribs. Never in all her life, had she imagined she would find herself sneaking through the night to seduce a man who would surely ward off her advances.

Voices drifted to her finally. They were low and male, and rose and fell with the conversation.

"Damn it! You think I don't know what she is?" It was Travis's voice, harsh, but quiet.

"I think you have no idea what she is, Ryland. You keep selling her short."

"I won't let her die."

"Playing God again?"

"I've never hit you, Blackfeather, but it's not too late to start."

"She's not learning to shoot to defend herself. She's learning so she can defend you."

"She promised she'd stay at the ranch."

"It could be you're more important to her than a lie," Cody suggested.

Katherine could see them now. They stood watching each other in the moon-shadowed night, their faces almost invisible beneath their hat brims.

"I'll lock her up," said Travis flatly.

"At Latigo's?" Cody snorted, issuing a sound that was as close to a laugh as Kat had ever heard from him. "And we'll slip her meals under the door. Maybe Finch can stand guard. If she cries, we'll just shove a sock in her mouth."

"Shut the hell up!"

"It's a good plan, Rye. Make men out of all the lot of them. You know how soft they are. Then when you're killed, we'll just tell her it was for her own good. She's a smart girl. She'll understand."

"What do you want me to do?" Travis took two stiff steps forward, so that he stood only inches from Blackfeather, his hands closed to fists at his sides. "Send her back to Silver Ridge? Let her tell them she's innocent? Who could doubt such a pretty face? Maybe they won't kill her right off."

"She's not a child, Rye. Let her decide."

"No!" The single word was sharp, but still low. "She'll stay with Lat if I have to tie her to the bed."

"The bed?" Cody's tone was curious.

"Believe me, it works," said Travis dryly,

Katherine could feel herself blush.

"Can we turn her loose after you're dead?" Cody asked evenly. "Maybe she'll fall in love with one of the boys at the ranch. Give Lat those grandchildren he always wanted. Of course, it won't be the same as if they were yours. But just say the word now, and I'll make sure they inherit your share of the property. Wouldn't want there to be any misunderstandings," he continued, but Katherine was already slipping away.

All along she'd thought she was fooling them. Thought they believed she was only worried about her own safety. She'd even promised to stay safely at Latigo's. It was unkind of them to doubt her word. She should be offended.

She'd have to leave before they reached the ranch and find Delias before Travis did. Jacob said the outlaw was headed back to town. But what town? Silver Ridge? New Prospect? And even if she could find her way there, how would she find Delias? One didn't simply ask around regarding the whereabouts of known killers.

She needed time to think, to plan. How long until they reached Latigo's ranch. Two days? Three? There was no telling.

Hearing a slight rustle behind her, Katherine hurried back to her bedroll. Some yards off to her right Shadow followed on a parallel course, finally settling into a crouched position when Kat rolled into her blankets and feigned sleep.

Moments later Travis reached her, his movements making no more than a whisper of sound. Although she refused to open her eyes, Kat knew it was him. No one else made her heart palpitate and made her breathing escalate. No one else made her hot and cold and angry and overjoyed.

No one but Travis Ryland.

He remained as he was, motionless and silent. She wondered if he was looking at her, and what he was thinking. But she dared not open her eyes lest he somehow see the truth in them and realize she'd heard his conversation with Cody.

Finally, when Kat felt she could not bear his gaze any longer, he moved away. She opened her eyes, knowing he would again leave camp to search for trouble and praying God would keep him safe until morning.

Travis was sitting before the fire when Kat made her way there shortly after dawn. She said little during breakfast. It had occurred to her during the night that every man present probably knew of Travis's plans to keep her, against her will if necessary, at Latigo's ranch. That thought, along with lack of sleep and the fact that she had only one remaining chocolate, made her feel grouchy and out of sorts. As she watched the men she reviewed her plans. She would not fail.

Shifting her gaze to the fire, Kat took a sip of coffee, barely tasting the bitter black liquid as her mind scurried over facts. She'd awakened to find Shadow's head resting on her feet, a new and encouraging sign of affection she thought. Affection she planned to use. Reaching down, Kat gently stroked the dog's nose, which was flat on the ground, just poking out from behind her right hip.

There were so many potential problems. So many elements to fall into place in order for her plan to work. Kat lifted her gaze from the fire and found it nabbed, hard and fast, by Travis's solemn eyes.

"You all right?" His voice was low and somehow managed to send little motes of emotion fluttering in her belly.

"Yes." She mustn't let him guess her thoughts Kat realized, and held her gaze steady on his for what she hoped was the perfect amount of time before dropping it back to the entrancing flame. "I'm fine."

He still watched her. She could feel his gaze on her face and felt more warmed by it than by the nearby cookfire. "We should reach the ranch within three days' time."

"Good." She did not look at him when she said it or try to sound happy about the prospect of reaching their destination, for he knew her feelings.