My Everything (7 page)

Entwined in each
other’s arms, they dozed. Eventually Grace became aware time was passing. She lifted her head and peered at the clock. It was near nine and she had a lecture to give at one. She laid her head back in the hollow of Ben’s shoulder, her arm wrapped around his chest, feeling his arm beneath her anchor her to his side. She was reluctant to wake him, but she wanted to go for a run, shower and get to the college. And of course she needed to get a room key. And if she had time, grab some coffee.

Still, it was hard to imagine just saying, “See ya,” and blowing the entire night off after what they’d done. Ben had made it clear he wasn’t making her any promises, still that didn’t mean Grace didn’t want to see him again.

Suddenly, she understood why he’d refused to consummate their relationship ten years ago. If he had, there was no way she’d have gotten him out of her system and been able to move on. The pull was too strong, the connection too intense. Grace would have wound up comparing every man with Ben, even Josh. And nobody would have measured up. Maybe Ben had done her a favor. Josh had been a wonderful man, a loving companion, an amazing partner and her best friend. He would have made a great father. If Ben had hogged up all the space in her heart she might never have given Josh a chance. She might never have had two incredible years.

Grace wasn’t much into fate, but sometimes things happened that couldn’t be explained. How could it be coincidence that after ten years and all that had transpired, she’d end up in Los Angeles crashing in front of the door to Ben McCall’s hotel room?

Grace wasn’t willing to walk away from Ben this time, at least not without a fight.

She wondered about the gun. Guns didn’t frighten her. Her father was ex-military, and he’d taught her about gun safety and how to shoot when she was a kid. She’d won medals for sharpshooting.

She knew a little about Ben’s career in the military. After his leave ended and he’d left Austin, she’d stayed close with his family. In fact, she’d been his sister Angel’s babysitter. She wondered if Ben was even aware.

Friendly as his mother had been, she’d remained mum about his training, his job and his location. Grace had eventually stopped asking. She’d assumed, right or wrong, he did something for the government, something covert. He’d rarely visited his family, and as far as Grace could tell, his visits had been unannounced, spur-of-the-moment and extremely brief. She’d only learned about them because Angel would inevitably spill the beans.

Grace had been Angel’s favorite babysitter, almost her nanny, and the little girl found it impossible to keep anything a secret from her. She’d been four years old when Grace met her, eight when Grace had graduated from the University of Texas and said goodbye to her. Grace guessed Angel must be about to enter high school.

Ben moved and Grace smiled, feeling him stretch against her like a long, lean cat. Like a lion. He turned toward her and ran a finger along her cheek. She inclined her head in his direction just as he leaned over and kissed her. He grinned that wicked grin of his, and Grace couldn’t help grinning back.

She was just wondering if they had time for a quickie when Ben lifted himself on one elbow and cleared his throat.

“What are you doing here, Grace?”

“In your room? Isn’t it obvious?”

“No.” He laughed at her words. “In Los Angeles.”

“I’m here for a conference,” she answered.

“A nursing conference? You were in nursing school, right?”

“Well, a medical conference, yes. I’m a…” Grace snorted. “I’m a pain specialist.”

Ben’s grin widened. “A pain specialist, eh? Physician, heal thyself.”

“Yeah, I know. Don’t remind me,” she said. “I left my pain pills in my room and then got locked out going to the vending machine.”

“Do you get migraines often?” Ben asked. “I don’t remember that.”

“They stopped for a while when I moved to Austin. I started getting them again a few years ago, after I got married.”

Ben frowned. He seemed disturbed. “You’re married, and we…?” He didn’t finish his question.

“No.” Grace hurried to reassure him. “I wouldn’t. I’m… I’m… My husband died of leukemia two years ago.”

Ben touched her hair gently. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, like I said, we can’t control everything,” Grace replied with a shrug. She rose to a sitting position and drew her knees to her chest.

“Don’t pull away from me.” He unwound her and laid her down on the bed, stretching his long body on top of hers.

Grace made a small sound, whimpering as he kissed her.

“Promise me,” Ben began, breaking off the kiss.

“Promise you what?”

“That you won’t disappear,” he said. “Not yet, anyway.” And he ducked his head to close his mouth around one of her nipples.

Grace felt laughter bubble up, and it spilled out. “Maybe I will,” she replied, teasing him, “Maybe. But right now I need to get back to my room.”

“Umm,” Ben hummed as he sucked.

“Ben, I… Ooooh God, Ben,” was all Grace could manage as he stretched out her arms and turned his attention to her other breast. She was instantly wet and ready for him.

He slid a finger between her legs, touching her, stroking her as he flicked his tongue across her nipple.

Abruptly he rose to his knees between her legs, his erection jutting toward her.

“You are so beautiful, Grace,” he said, running his hands down her thighs. “Look at you. God, you’re lovely.”

As he ran his thumbs along the inside of her upper thighs, Grace reached out to stroke him. She ran her fingers and both palms slowly over the hard, silky length of him, caressing his sensitive tip, finally cupping his heavy scrotum with both her hands. Ben made a sound from deep in his throat and closed his eyes. He continued to explore her with his fingers, finding her clit. He rubbed circles around it with both thumbs, taking care not to use too much pressure.

“Grace.” His voice was rough with desire, and he pulled her up onto to her knees. Ben held her by her hips and suspended her right over his erection.

At that moment, Grace looked into his eyes. Fires smoldered inside him, fires that consumed her, and she came, crying out, the instant he entered her.

Ben didn’t stop. He thrust relentlessly as she came, holding her, lifting her up and down his rigid length with strong arms and hands. When Grace climaxed again Ben pressed her back onto the bed. He pumped deep inside, reaching his own powerful orgasm with a roar. He lay over her, his face buried in her neck, his teeth nibbling on the sensitive tendons there, a hand on her breast, his calloused fingers still toying with her nipple.

Grace felt like she could come again if she moved just a tiny bit, but she didn’t have the strength. Besides, there was no need to be greedy. She’d just had more orgasms in one morning than she’d managed to have with intercourse in her entire life. A song by Barry White played in her head. Grace kept hearing the words,
you’re the first, the last, my everything
, and she suddenly began to giggle.

Ben lifted his head. “What?” He lifted one eyebrow in amusement.

“Barry White.” Grace giggled, and she launched into an off-key rendition of the song.

Ben began to laugh uproariously as a great weight lifted from him. For the first time in two years, he felt like a man instead of a failure.

This time, no matter what happened, he would not fail. Not Tom, not Grace, not Julie if she was watching him, but most of all, he wouldn’t fail himself.

My Everything◊J. R. Barrett

Grace ran uphill.
It felt good to pump her legs against gravity, although the thought of pumping muscles reminded her of one motion in particular. She smiled.

She’d used Ben’s room phone to call the front desk. He’d loaned her a tee shirt so she could be decent when the bellman arrived at her door with a copy of her key.

Despite the baggy shirt covering her to her knees, Grace didn’t feel decent when the bellman had arrived. She’d felt decadent, as if she’d been treated to a weekend at a spa, a spa that smelled enticingly, unequivocally like Ben and sex.

Grace’s smile turned into a laugh. It had been a very long time since she’d felt happy.

Ben had kissed her and asked, “How long will you be in Los Angeles?”

“Another two days,” she’d replied.

Before she left his room, she wrote her cell phone number on the notepad near the phone. Ben didn’t say he’d call, but Grace hoped he would. He didn’t offer his cell phone number. Grace didn’t expect him to. The gun under his pillow made it clear he was here on business, and she didn’t want to compromise him in any way.

From what little he’d said about his wife’s death, it was obvious to Grace that whatever Ben did came equipped with a significant element of risk. She wasn’t afraid while she was with him, but she realized she could very easily be afraid for him. It occurred to her that he brought her into his room last night because he couldn’t risk attracting attention to himself. If it hadn’t been Grace, Ben would have brought a complete stranger into his room.

What if it had been subterfuge or a distraction? He took a big chance. They were both lucky.

Grace shivered at the thought of what could have happened to her, or him. She didn’t want anything to happen to Ben, and she didn’t want to cause any problems for him. It was obvious he still blamed himself for his wife’s death in the same way she still blamed herself for Josh. She blamed herself for ignoring the signs of his illness, for stupidly thinking young men couldn’t die.

She was a nurse. She knew better. Ben must have felt the same way. He was a security expert. He knew better.

Grace crested the hill and let gravity pull her down the other side at a fast clip. By her estimation, she’d run over three miles. She figured she better turn around if she wanted to make it to the college on time. She should probably grab something to eat, too. Grace pressed her palm against the pocket of her running shorts, checking to make sure she had her room key this time. Room 321.

Ben sat in
his parked car down the block and across the street from the building where Aris Security was located. He wore sunglasses and a baseball cap and held an open newspaper against the steering wheel, but he wasn’t reading. He waited for Tom to walk out the main door and head to the corner deli for lunch.

Ben had emailed Tom this morning after Grace left his room. It was their standard email. He’d said he was in town visiting friends and he asked how the family was. He signed the email Matt.

Tom had answered, “Same old, same old, nothing new.”

That meant the corner deli. Ben wanted to see if Tom was being followed before he wandered by the deli, and walked right past it, into the little park beyond.

Ben had already driven up and down the street several times, ostensibly checking for parking spots but primarily scanning for occupied vehicles, suspicious trucks or vans. He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

He checked his watch. Tom should be leaving the office any time now.

Ben was edgy. Normally he had no difficulty focusing, but he was having a few problems getting Grace out of his mind. Their morning together had been totally unexpected and, hard as it was to admit, the strength of their joining had exceeded anything he’d ever experienced with a woman. Even with Julie.