My Everything - Seth & Amber (24 page)

“I was thinking it might be a good idea if
you came and got - ”

“Susan! What are you doing in there? Who the
hell are you talking to?” A man’s voice yelled in the background.
Amber assumed that it belonged to the unfortunately-named
Bubba.

“It’s just Amber. I wanted to see if she
could send me some money,” her mom’s voice was shaky. Amber
recognized the too-bright tone as one she often used herself. Wow.
That must be where she had gotten it.

“Well what did she say? Is she gonna give
us
the money?”

“Mom, if you need me to come get you, I can.
Just tell me where,” Amber spoke quietly so that Bubba couldn’t
hear her words through the phone line, even if he was standing
close to her mom.

“She needs to know where to send it,” her mom
said.

“Tell her to put it in your account,” he
responded gruffly.

“Can you just put it in my account?” her mom
asked sounding as if she was about to start crying.

“Mom, if I put money in there, will you be
able to get away?” Amber knew that it wasn’t the best solution.
But, dammit, she had no idea what else to do.

“Sure that sounds great,” her mom said in her
faux-cheery voice.

“I’m transferring it right now,” Amber sat at
her computer and pulled up her bank account, her fingers shaking on
the keyboard. “Mom? Mom?”

She didn’t hear anything. She looked down at
her phone and saw that the call had ended.

“Amber,” Seth’s deep voice sounded from
behind her.

She closed her eyes for a split second,
taking a deep breath. It felt like the first time she had drawn
breath, in fact, since she had heard Bubba's voice on the other end
of the line. God. Even in the most trying circumstances, one word
from Seth could calm her nerves immensely. Her hands were still
shaking on the mouse as she navigated to the transfer screen in her
bank account, but not nearly as much as they had been shaking a
moment ago.

Without turning her head, she said tightly,
“Hold on one second.”

She clicked through and transferred five
hundred dollars to her mom’s account. She hoped that it would be
enough to get her mom out of whatever situation she was in. Away
from Bubba. As Amber pressed send, she tried to calm her breathing.
There was nothing she could do now but wait.

“Are you okay?” Seth asked.

“I will be.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

The question reminded her of the night in DC.
He had asked her basically the same question when they had gone up
to his room. She responded the same way she had then, with a crisp,
“No.”

She turned and saw Seth and her mouth began
to water. He stood before her in a crisp white shirt, red tie and
black slacks. She took it all in. The shirt. The tie. The slacks.
Suddenly she felt like she was back in that dimly lit room, full of
brass and mahogany. Visions of the night they had spent together
exploded in her mind like fireworks.

“Do you want to eat?” Seth nodded his head
towards whatever he was carrying. She looked down.

He was holding Chinese food bags. Her heart
warmed at the sight. Each night this week he had brought dinner
home. It was quickly becoming her favorite part of the day. Sure,
he didn’t really talk a lot while they ate, but that didn’t matter.
That was just…Seth. Seth had his own way of doing things.

One of the things he did was make her the
best
coffee every morning. She had gotten quite used to
waking up and seeing him in the kitchen, usually shirtless, as he
brewed it. The first morning she had been there, he had asked if
she wanted any, and how she took it. Every morning since then, he
had made her a cup, exactly how she loved it. A perfect cup of
coffee served to her by a shirtless Seth Sloan; not a bad way to
start the day, no matter how you sliced it. In fact, the only thing
that would make it
better
was if you threw in a little
“morning sexy time” with a shirtless Seth Sloan!

Amber was trying
really
hard to not
get used to being here. It was harder than she had first assumed it
would be. They had fallen into daily routines seamlessly. She no
longer felt like a guest here. In fact, she had gone back to her
duplex once to pick up some things, and – she wasn’t sure if it was
because of the break-in, or what – but it didn’t even feel like
home anymore.

This felt like home. Which was bad. Very bad.
She needed to keep her distance if she was going to have even a
sliver of her heart and soul left to cling to when this thing was
over.

“I just have a little more to do on Chelle’s
dress. I’m gonna go ahead and finish up. You can start without me
if you want.” She turned back and started sewing again.

She heard Seth’s footsteps as he walked
across the wood floor of the front room into his room and shut the
door. She figured that he had decided to retreat to his room early
so she turned her oldies Pandora station back on while she worked
on Chelle’s dress. Otis Redding’s (Sittin’ on) The Dock of the Bay
started playing and Amber lost herself in the music; the feel of
the fabric, the soft buzz of her sewing machine.

She was just finishing the dress when she
heard her stomach growl. She really didn’t feel like eating. In
fact, she had completely lost her appetite since the call from her
mom. Still, obviously her body thought she needed food.

She turned, and as she was making her way
across the room to the kitchen, Seth’s door opened. All of the air
rushed out of Amber’s lungs in an involuntary whoosh.

Oh. My. God.

Seth stood before her, the sleeves on his
white shirt rolled up and the top two buttons at his neck
unbuttoned. She didn't think she had ever seen him looking so...she
supposed she would describe it as 'effortlessly casual GQ.'

“Are you done working?” he asked, his clear
blue eyes locked with hers.

Amber nodded. She couldn’t speak.

“Do you want to talk about that phone call?”
Seth’s tone was filled with concern.

Amber felt tears begin to form in her eyes as
she shook her head in the negative. It was all too much. The
break-ins, her mom, Seth. Especially Seth.

She was having a hard enough time not falling
deeper in love with him without him being
caring
, for God's
sake! Then, add into the mix: his sexier than sin body, his
captivating eyes, his intelligence, his commanding air, his
self-assured demeanor, and...Oh, Lordy...the explosive chemistry
they shared – well, she didn’t have a shot in
hell
at
holding on to her heart.

“Do you want to eat?” he asked, his brow
furrowed.

Again she shook her head. Her body felt
heavy. She didn’t know if it was just the past weeks catching up
with her or if it was the fact that she had been having trouble
sleeping knowing Seth was in the next room. She had been tempted -
several times, in fact - to just strip naked and knock on his
bedroom door. Instead of sleeping, she had been having fantasies of
how that little scenario would play out.

“Do you want to dance?” Seth asked, stepping
closer to her.

“What?” she asked, not really following
along. Her mind felt like it was thousands of miles away. Then she
heard the music playing from her computer and suddenly she was back
in the here and now.

“Do you want to dance?” he repeated
slowly.

She knew she shouldn’t. There were danger
signs flashing in her mind. Her self-protective walls were trying
to withstand the flash flood of desire she felt, urging her to lose
herself in Seth’s arms. As she stared into his vivid blue eyes she
felt her carefully-erected walls crumbling.

As the soft melody of Hall & Oates' Sara
Smile filled the room, Amber's emotions overrode her logic. She
nodded silently as she stepped towards him. No words were
necessary. The instant his arms wrapped around her and he pulled
her tightly against his firm body, she melted. She closed her eyes
and as she and Seth swayed to the soft music. The poetic lyrics
drifted through the air.

Baby hair with a woman’s eyes

I can feel you watching in the night

All alone with me and we’re waiting for the
sunlight

When I feel cold you warm me

And when I feel I can’t go on, you come and
hold me

It’s you and me forever

Resting her head on his broad shoulders, she
felt safe. She felt protected.

She felt loved.

--- ~ ---

Seth held Amber closely to him. She felt so
perfect in his arms, his thumb rubbing in circles on her lower
back. He may not be able to
be
with her, but he wanted – no,
he
needed
– to comfort her in this moment.

He had tried to stay in his room but he just
couldn’t, not with the sight of her hands shaking as she hung up
the phone playing in his mind on a loop. It had broken his heart.
He was trying desperately to keep his distance, but the need to fix
whatever was hurting her was just too strong. He couldn't ignore
it.

As her body pressed against his, he had to
tame the urge to lay her down on the couch and make her forget any
hurt, any sadness, any fear that she had ever felt. He wanted to
strip her down, to give her pleasure to replace all of that pain,
and just let her feel.

The words that she had spoken to him the
night they met all those years ago came back to him now.

“
I want one night. One night where I can
forget. One night where I don’t have to think. One night where I
don’t have to take care of anyone. One night where I don’t have to
make any decisions. I want one night where all I have to do is
feel
.”

He knew that he could do that for her, even
if that was all he could offer her. He could give her one
night.

He could feel himself growing harder and
harder as she swayed against him. Need rocketed inside of him. He
remembered every inch of her body, her curves. His body
instinctively moved with hers in a seductive rhythm.

“Is there going to be dancing at the
wedding?” she lifted her head and asked softly.

He smiled to himself. He thought it was cute
that, even though she was obviously upset, she couldn’t stand a
long silence.

He liked that he knew that about her.

“Yes,” he answered her.

She looked up at him, her champagne colored
eyes shimmering with the glow from the moonlight streaming in
through the window. “Are you bringing a date?”

That question stopped him short. He hadn’t
even thought about another woman since he had stepped foot in
Harper’s Crossing. Then something else occurred to him. If she was
asking the question, then there was a good possibility that she
would be going with someone. Hadn’t she said that she had been out
on a date just a few weeks ago?

Damn.

“Are you?” he asked. The thought of seeing
her with another man made his stomach knot up.

There was a twinkle in her eye. “I asked you
first.”

“No,” he answered honestly.

“I don’t think I am either,” she said as she
laid her head back down on his shoulder.

That was vague.

“You don’t
think
you are?” he asked,
wanting clarification.

“No. A few people have asked, but I would
rather be there...” she swallowed as she looked up at him with a
vulnerability in her eyes that caused his chest to ache, “...with
you.”

His breath was coming short and ragged. His
heart was pounding. He knew he needed to talk to her. He needed her
to be clear on where they stood. But he had no idea how to make her
understand - especially since he didn’t.

“Amber, we can’t be together,” he said
bluntly.

She blinked a few times. He could see her
chest rising and falling rapidly. As her large eyes stared deeply
into his, he felt as though she could see all the way to his
soul.

“Okay,” she said softly.

That was it? She wasn’t going to ask why? She
wasn’t going to get upset or angry?

“So you
do
want me to go to the
wedding with a date?” she asked.

“No,” he answered automatically.

Shit, what was he saying? He didn’t play
games. He didn’t send mixed messages to women. Yet here he was
doing both of those things.

Her mouth turned up in a smile of amusement.
God. He knew that look, he had seen it on the face of other women
he'd been with. It was the look they got when they thought they had
the upper hand, and all they had to do was reel him in.

Amber was the first woman to wear that
expression that just might be correct. That was dangerous. He
needed to shut it down.

“Amber,” his warning tone did not seem to
affect her.

Her stomach growled loudly.

“Time to eat,” she said brightly as she
turned and walked into the kitchen.

He shook his head. Watching her go, he
realized that never had his instincts been in such direct
opposition with his logic. Internally, for Seth, those two vital
forces that guided his life were usually pretty well on the same
page.

Even his decision to be medically discharged,
which was one of the most, if not
the
most, difficult
decisions of his life hadn't cause an internal battle like the one
that was currently being waged inside of him when it came to
Amber.

He knew he wasn’t good for her. He was too
fucked up. He had done things that had changed him, broken him.

But, by the same token, he
wanted
her
– and not just with his body. With his heart, with his soul. In
fact, in many ways, he already felt like she was his. His to care
for. His to protect. His to love.

His large hands grip her hips tightly.
His blue eyes locked with hers. The wall feels hard and cold
against her back as he rocks his length against her mound, still
covered with her silken panties, now dripping wet with desire.