My First Five Husbands (29 page)

A
s the winter drew to a close, good old Luis and I took a trip to Lake Tahoe to spend three days learning to ski. Actually, we learned how
not
to ski, thanks to Fritz, the bunny hill Nazi. (
Hals und Bein brechen,
Fritz!) Luis went home with a wrenched shoulder, I with a twisted knee. Later that spring, Luis actually proposed marriage, and though I thoroughly enjoyed his company, I was never really serious about the relationship. I broke off with him, although we remained friendly, and I have to give my Latin lover an A. Oh, yeah, a big Brazilian A for Mr. “Now you are my voman!” Which still makes me smile.

Also that spring, I got to re-create the delectable Fay Precious—that role I loved when I did
Who’s Happy Now?
Off Broadway years earlier. PBS did a divine film of the play, starring John Ritter, Betty Garrett, and Albert Salmi, along with Alice Ghostly and some other wonderful character actors. We shot it in a forgotten, dusty little town up in the Mojave Desert that was ideal for Sunray, Texas. It was a glorious experience, took about two weeks, done on various locations—not sets, but real houses. You should see it. I’m telling you, it’s edible.

At the end of my second season on
Maude,
I was making $2,500 a show. (What is that? $60,000 a year?) A nice step up from the first season. I’d hired Jean Stapleton’s agent, because Jean was a big star and one of the nicest people I’d ever met, so I figured she’d have a nice agent. Not that a “nice” agent is necessarily a
good
agent, but apparently this guy had just the right amount of pit bull in him. He negotiated my third-season contract to jump to $4,000 a show, and I knew
Maude
was going to run a few more years, with automatic raises every year. So it finally made sense on paper to drop anchor in California and buy a house.

PHOTO INSERT 2

First toe shoes, 1947. (Mother made the tutu.)

With big John Hayes in the yard of our North Hollywood rental house, 1961. He’s trying to look stern.

The Italian, me, Mark, and Sandy, Christmas, 1969. Fort Lee, New Jersey.

With Dustin Hoffman during Jimmy Shine, Brooks Atkinson Theatre, 1969.

Lette as Billie Dawn, me as The Blue Fairy, and Linda as Carmen Miranda at Linda’s birthday party. I borrowed the Miranda drag from the Maude costumer!

With Dabney Coleman and Jack Gilford in
Apple Pie,
1978.

John Wayne with Conrad Bain and me on
Maude,
1977.

One of our early publicity shots for
The Golden Girls,
1985. Me, Bea Arthur, Betty White, and Estelle Getty (Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia).

“But you’ll be in the book!” Emmy acceptance speech, 1987.

Me with “the fifth golden girl,” our marvelous director Terry Hughes.

Betty and I dressed for our roles in
CATS
in a
Golden Girls
segment. Wish I still had that costume!