“No comment,” Katie replied, looking forward to hide the small smile on her face that she simply couldn’t contain. She had always appreciated the fact that Jason said what was on everyone’s mind. It was part of his charm.
“I have to admit, though,” She said thoughtfully, “I am really impressed that you would be willing to get them. You get props for that. Most guys would not be so cool about it.”
“Well if you remember correctly this is not my first experience with someone unexpectedly getting their period,” Jason said as he pulled into the parking lot of the local CVS.
“Oh. My. God. That’s right! I had completely forgotten about that,” Katie said, covering her face with her hands as the memory of the first time she got her period came rushing back to her.
16 Years Earlier
It was the middle of sixth grade year and Katie had just gotten a new pair of white Guess Jeans. She was sitting at the lunch table with her friends Chelle and Mallory, and feeling like pretty hot stuff.
She was eating her lunch, giggling, gossiping, and talking about all the things eleven year old girls talk about. She was enjoying herself immensely when Jason, Pete, and Sam came over to their table.
At first Katie had been annoyed because the boys were always so loud and obnoxious. She thought they would ruin lunch, her favorite part of the day.
Jason sat right beside her and started in with his usual shtick, making everyone laugh and – of course – getting all of the attention. She had JUST about all she could take of them, thankyouverymuch, and was about to stand up to throw away her tray when she felt Jason pull down hard on her arm, roughly returning her to a sitting position.
“Ouch, Jas! That hurt!” Katie protested angrily, pulling her arm away from his insistent grasp.
“Katie,” Jason whispered intensely as he leaned in close to her ear, “look down at your lap.”
Katie knew he really must be serious because Jason NEVER used her real name – he always called her Kit Kat.
As she looked down she saw red staining the jeans between her legs. Katie started to panic! She was bleeding! Oh, God!
Jason, clearly seeing the horror spreading quickly across her face, leaned over to her and said calmly “Don’t freak out. You just started your period.”
Katie closed her eyes in relief and sighed, “Oh thank God!” under her breath. But then a new thought occurred to her, setting off a fresh wave of panic. How was she going to get out of the cafeteria without someone seeing her blood-stained attire? She didn’t even have her backpack to try and hide behind.
If anything, she thought that she might be more scared about this scenario than she was when she thought she was dying. After all...the only thing at stake there was death. Now we were talking about HUMILIATION!
“Jas, what am I going to do?” Katie said in a desperate whisper, “I can’t get up without someone seeing me, and I need to go the nurse’s office to go home.”
Jason looked straight into Katie’s eyes and said, in an authoritative tone she had ever heard come from the joke-a-minute Jason, “I’ve got a plan. Just follow my lead, okay?”
“Okay,” Katie agreed shakily as she tried to hold back tears of embarrassment.
The next thing she knew, Jason was on top of the lunchroom table pounding his chest, letting out a series of primal screams, and yelling “Me Tarzan, me Tarzan!”
Her eyes widened as she witnessed the scene. She felt nothing but shock, which quickly led to despair as she realized that Jas wasn't going to help her after all. He had gotten distracted by starting to pull one of his crazy pranks. But what was the point of this one? It wasn't even funny. It was insane!
Just when she thought he had completely lost his mind, he took off his shirt, throwing it to her and yelling, “Me Tarzan! You Jane!”
Relief flooded through her as she realized his plan.
He started jumping from table to table, making the rounds of the entire cafeteria via tabletop, as he yelled, “AHH AHHEAEA.”
Taking advantage of the distraction, Katie slipped into his shirt, which fell almost to her knees. As every eye in the cafeteria was focused on Jason's shenanigans, she escaped the cafeteria completely unnoticed. She made a beeline for the nurse’s office and said that she had a horribl
e stomachache, then called her mom to come and pick her up.
Pam arrived within ten minutes and Katie gratefully piled into the car, desperately wanting to get as far away from th
e school as possible. When her mom looked at her with concerned eyes and put a hand to her forehead to check her temperature, Katie began to sob and spilled the entire sordid story of humiliated woe in one long, tear-filled rant.
She didn't know what her m
om's reaction would be. She might be sympathetic, or she might be annoyed with Katie for lying about the stomach ache. Katie just didn't know. She wasn't sure what it meant when Pam just smiled the tiniest of grins as she pulled away from the curb and commented neutrally, “That Jason sure is a great guy.”
Katie didn’t really think anything of it at the time because she was so busy wallowing in mortification at what had transpired. But after school, Katie had gone to return Jason’s freshly laundered shirt to him. When she knocked on the door, Seth - the eldest Sloan brother - opened it and said that Jason was still at school because he had detention. When Katie asked what he had done, Seth said that he wasn’t really sure, but that it had something to do with a stupid stunt he had pulled at lunch. He also added that their dad was going to “rip him a new one” when he got home.
Katie’s head began to spin. She never, even for one second, had thought that Jason would get into any trouble for helping her. God, he was always doing crazy things and usually people just laughed! Sometimes adults would shake their heads, but they always looked amused. He never really had suffered any repercussions because of it.
Now he was in detention and he was going to get in trouble at home. Katie didn’t know what to do. She decided that the best course of action was to go to school and try and reason with Jason’s teacher - or even the principal if she had to! She would do whatever was necessary to get him pardoned.
She took a deep breath then, thinking about what she was going to have to deal with after she had dealt with the school. She was going to have to 'fess up' to Jason's dad, Bob. Oh, man. He was not going to be as easy to deal with as Principal Jenson.
She began to formulate a plan, a step-by-step blueprint of what she would do. She tried to come up with some story that would explain Jason’s odd behavior. After discarding several lame versions of why Tarzan had made an appearance, however, she was forced to come to the conclusion that maybe the best thing to do would be to abide by the old adage ‘the truth shall set you free.’
Yep, she decided. Honesty is the best policy.
She trembled in anticipation of having to relate her tale of humiliation to adults. To adult GUYS, no less. Oh, God.
The only way that she could get through it was to really downplay the whole ‘I just started my period in white jeans’ part. Yeah, she would just rush through that part and make a point to really emphasize how Jason had rescued her from complete and total humiliation. Humiliation that would have endured for years to come!
Then she would enlist Nurse Parks to come in and back up the fact that Katie had come into the office and gone home with a very bad “stomachache” - and (additional proof!) that she was wearing Jason’s shirt at the time.
But, as it turned out, none of that was how it went down at all.
As she turned the corner to Great Oaks Middle School, she saw Jason’s dad's white Chevy Blazer parked in the teacher parking lot. Oh God Oh God OH GOD! Maybe it wasn't his? No. She knew it was, because it said Sloan Construction on the side.
Oh no, she was too late. Katie's breath began to quicken and her eyes began to well. She couldn't let this happen because of HER! It was so UNFAIR! She had to do something to try and diffuse the situation – and if that meant describing the entire embarrassing chain of events to a few adults gathered in a room, including the Jason’s dad (who was very intimidating!) then...OK, yeah. So be it.
Katie took a deep breath, pushed back her shoulders, held her head high, and pushed open the heavy double doors that led to the school's administration office.
She was immediately bombarded by the sound of laughter coming from Principal Jenson’s office. Whoa! Not what she expected to hear!
She peeked unobtrusively around the corner and saw Principal Jenson and Bob Sloan hysterically laughing as Principal Jenson relayed the events of Jason's impromptu lunchtime performance. Katie breathed a sigh of relief when the Principal ended the recitation by saying that he would call the detention classroom and have Jason come up to the office so that he could leave with his father.
Katie smiled to herself. Hopefully this was a good sign! No need to humiliate herself, after all, if everyone was going to take Jason’s prank in stride! She decided to let herself off the hook for that and just go and find Jason so she could thank him and return his freshly laundered shirt.
She knew that detention was being held in Mrs. Kimball’s science lab this week so she started down the far left hall to see if she could intercept Jason on his way to the office.
That's when she saw it.
GOD!
It made her sick.
There, in a corner formed by a bank of lockers and an outcropping of the wall, halfway hidden in shadows, was Jason. Making out with Callie Martin. The single most stuck up, OBNOXIOUS popular girl at Great Oaks Middle School!
Katie stood there, dumbfounded. Not only was she disgusted that Jason was kissing Callie...she also couldn’t quite believe that Callie would be kissing Jason. Callie was an 8th grader! And she had all the 8th grade boys - and even some freshmen! - drooling over her. Why would she be kissing Jason, a lowly 6th grader?
Obviously, Jason didn’t need (or probably even want, the rat fink!) Katie’s help or apology. She spun on her heels and headed toward home.
Present Day
She had never returned Jason’s shirt. In fact, most nights she still slept in it.
One time, during their junior year, Nick had been hanging out while she was doing laundry. He had spied the shirt while she was folding her clothes and wrinkled his forehead in puzzlement. He asked why she had a guy’s Def Leppard shirt, and she had lied and said that it was an old shirt of her dad’s that she kept because she didn’t have that many memories of him.
He looked at her strangely but didn't pursue it. She didn't care, though, because she knew for a fact that Nick would have never seen Jason in the shirt. Nick had moved to Harper's Crossing just before their 7th grade year began, and the shirt had been in her possession since the middle of 6th grade.
Now, sitting in Jason’s truck parked outside of CVS, Katie realized that she had never thanked Jason for his jungle-tacular heroics that day.
She turned to him and slowly pulled her hands down from where they were providing protective cover for her red face. She said “Oh my gosh, Jas.
..I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there and noticed my situation! Actually...now that I think of it...how did you see the problem? I was already sitting down when you came over to the table.”
“I noticed when you put one leg over the bench to sit down. I could tell by the way you were talking and laughing that you had no idea, so I stayed at my table till I came up with a plan,” Jason said in a matter-of-fact tone, and then shrugged modestly, adding, “and then I walked over to save you.”
“You already knew what you were going to do before came over to my table? Your Tarzan plan was premeditated?” Katie asked in disbelief, her jaw dropping slightly.
“Premeditated!” he chuckled, “Wow! Now, listen counselor. I knew that you would be too busy freaking out to figure out what to do about the ‘situation’ once it was brought to your attention, so I figured that I had to be the one to think rationally and devise a plan.
“I would think that instead of picking apart my M.O. you would have been kissing my feet for saving you an entire childhood of humiliation. You know, come to think of it...I never even got a thank you for being your knight in shining armor.”
Jason said this in a lightly teasing tone, but when Katie looked at him, she definitely saw a challenge in his eyes.
Ugh!
Katie had always hated it when he gave her that look. It was a look that said...checkmate, your move. It was like he already knew he had won.
Well, not this time buddy!
She took a deep breath, narrowed her eyes, and began her rebuttal.
“I wasn’t saying that ‘premeditated’ was a bad thing. In fact, I am even more impressed that, ONE, you weren’t too embarrassed to do anything, and that, TWO, you even noticed in the first place.
“THREE, you did not decide to use the information to humiliate me, as you easily could have done. And, honestly - I really do want you to know how incredibly grateful for that I am,” Katie finished sincerely.
Then she continued on with her speech, moving into the part where she was gonna play a little hardball.
“So, I went to your house to tell you all of that on the day that it happened, after school. Seth said that you had gotten detention and that your dad was not too happy about it. Feeling bad about my role in your detention, I went down to the school to try and get you an early parole hearing by explaining how you had been my ‘knight in shining armor’ so to speak,” a small smile tugged at her lips, “My Tarzan in shining armor, if you will.