My Forever (26 page)

Elder Mason,

   I promise not to break our ‘rules.’ The weather here is still gorgeous. Wow, that’s funny. One sentence into not saying what I want to say and I have to talk about the weather.

 
Jackie sat by me on the couch the other day and looked through my pictures of Seattle. She was impressed and you know what a nice compliment that is coming from her. Anyway, she begged to get a few framed for our house but she came home with way more than that. Tanya said I
can
sell them down at her fruit stand. I don’t know if they’ll sell or not, but it’s kind of fun just the same.

 
I hope your weeks in the MTC go well. Good luck with the language, I can’t wait to hear all about Puerto Rico when you’re the
re. I looked at pictures online and think
it’s beautiful. Too bad you’re under such restrictions as a missionary. I don’t think I could stay out of the water.

Love,

Dani

I feel brave for writing love at
the bottom, but it’s a letter so i
t feels okay.

17

Jackie knocks and then just walks into my room. “Okay, no more moping. It’s been a week. I’m headed to Portland to see about a dress for this big fundraiser my mom does every year. You’re coming with me.”

“To Portland?” I ask.

“Yep, it’s a cool place near downtown. Bring your camera.”

I get dressed
in the only pair of jeans that still fit,
and meet Jackie in the living room. She’s spent an extra long time getting ready. I can tell
by the perfectly placed hair, and precision makeup job
. She’s a knockout with nothing extra
,
bu
t she’s stunning today.  This must be
a big deal for her.

“So, who are we going to see?”

“Oh, she’s amazing. Her name is Lori Tressman. She used to be on her own
,
but now she works with her sister in law, Leigh. Their shop is in Portland and since this is a special dress for a specific occasion
,
they’ll fit me in person.”

“Wow.” I’d never taken the time to even imagine such a thing. It seems like only movie stars get to have dresses made for them. Movie stars and Jackie.

~
~
~

Jackie is irritated that we can’t find a pa
rking spot closer. I don’t care. T
he heat of the summer is over, and even though I’m ridiculously big, it feels good to stretch my legs after such a long time in the car. I keep stopping to take pictures, mid-afternoon lighting isn’t ideal
,
but the old brick building still makes interesting shadows
,
and I’m excited to see what I can do with them once I get them on my computer.

“Here we are!” Jackie
holds open the door
. I l
ook around in wonder. Every piece of clothing
in here is beautiful and interesting. There are romantic fun pieces and really edgy pieces. I’m not a fashion girl. I grew up with parents who
are not only conservative
but
generally a bit poor. The shop is an experience. As I look around I realize Jackie probably buys a lot from here.

There’s a large area near the back with sofas and large binders. They have photos on the walls of this part
of the shop. T
hey look like clothes they made but the shots feel all wrong for the style of clothing
,
and the cool vibe of the store. I wonder who took
them. I’m still standing
in a trance when a lady with beautiful wavy auburn hair walks up.

“Welcome back, Jackie,” she says. “Your dress is in the room just waiting for you and it’s fabulous.” Her smile is warm with an edge of excitement in it. I like her already.

“Hi, I’m Leigh.” S
he turns to me. “You’re here with Jackie?”

“I’m Dani.
A, uh, friend.
We’re roommates,” I explain.

“And you’re a photographer.” She looks down at my camera.

“Wannabe.” I shrug. She’s easy to like. I’m comfortable with her already.

“You must be due pretty soon.
Wanna
sit? It’s going to take Lori and me a few minutes here.”

“Yeah, I probably should. M
y doctor is always giving me a hard time for spending too many hours on my feet.”

I sit
on the large, grey sofa,
and look again at the large photos on the w
all.  I bet they cost a fortune. T
here’s close to ten and all about four feet tall, maybe more.

“What do you think?” she asks.

“The clothes are beautiful,” I can be honest about that.

“Well, thank you, but I meant the photos themselves.” She shifts her weight to one leg and crosses her arms in front of her.

I look down
, not wanting
to answer.

“Yeah, my husband Brian doesn’t l
ike them either. He’s an artist. Well,
he does graphic design for a living, but really, he’s an artist. He says they don’t go with the vibe of the store.”

I nod unconsciously.

“You agree.”

I shrug.

She sighs. “Well, it’ll
have to wait. T
here’s too much going on right now. L
et me know if you need anything.
I’m
go
ing
work.” She turns and walks to the door that Jackie just disappeared into.

“Are you here with Jackie?” I hear another woman’s voice from behind me. A striking woman with short dark hair and funky glasses comes up behind me. She’s
almost as short as me
.

“Yeah, I’m Dani.” I nod. “We’re roommates.”

“I’m Lori Tressman. It’s nice to meet you, Dani.” She walks around the couch. “Wow, you’re at the really
fun
part of being pregnant.” She laughs.

I reach my hands around my stomach. “I have about three weeks left.”

“Well that’s exciting.”

I don’t answer. I don’t know what it is. Right now it’s terrifying. The people at social services have nearly given up on me.

We both look up as Jackie comes out of the room wearing a stunning black gown. Leigh is right behind her.

“Well, it
would
be exciting if she knew what was happening with the baby at the end of all this.”
Jackie half laughs at me.

I sigh.

“Hey sweetie, I have lunch!” A tall, broad man with tattoos poking from undern
eath a snug T
-shirt c
omes in the door fol
lowed by what has to be his son.
They’re nearly identical
—same brown hair, and deep eyes
. Though the kid’s probably
eight or nine. He eyes go from me on the couch and then to Jackie standing on a pedestal in front of the mirror.

“Oops,” he sets down the bags. “Well, it’s just a salad so it’s not l
ike it’ll cool off…
though it may wilt.” He chuckles. I find myself stealing more than one glance his direction. Not only is he very handsome
,
but
he has a kind face, kind eyes.

“Wow, your tummy is really big.” His son looks down at me.

“Oh, Nathan….” Leigh starts to scold.

“It’s okay.” I grab my stomach with both hands. “Yes, it’s really big. I’m working hard growing a baby in there.”

He nods seriously
,
making
me smile.

“
Wanna
sit?” I ask him patting the couch next to me.

“Yeah, Dad made us
walk
.” His voice is thick with exasperation.

“That can be rough.” I’m getting a kick out of this kid.

“I’m Brian.” His dad holds out his hand for me to take.

“Dani.”

Nathan’s eyebrows pull together. “That’s a boy’s name.”

I laugh. “Danielle is my real name, but I go by Dani.”

“Okay.” He seems satisfied.

I look behind me at the racks of clothes and the photos on the walls. The atmosphere in the shop is an odd mix of comfortable family and urban chic. It’s strange
,
but
I’m absolutely loving
it. I get a kick in the ribs from little girl and my hands immediately go to my stomach. I gasp once.

“
She kicking
you again?” Jackie laughs. Lori and Leigh are both absorbed, pinning all around her, taking the dress in and up. Leigh stops and stares at me for a moment too long. She takes a deep breath in and goes back to work. Her husband walks up behind her, leans in and kisses her softly on the neck. I can tell she’s embarrassed by his attention in front of company
,
but she gazes up at him anyway. I think it’s sweet.

“She kicks you in there?” Nathan’s eyes grow wide, staring at my stomach.

“Yep, all the time.
W
anna
feel?”

“Cool.”

I reach out and take his hands to place on my belly. I push on her kind of hard. I want to make s
ure he’s not let down. He isn’t. L
ittle girl kicks and wiggles and moves all over the place. My stomach looks like it
’
s dancing. I’m still not used to it.