My Forever (34 page)

23

We walk out of the gate and as I look up the street I see a familiar face. This doesn’t happen to me often.
Or ever.
I just stand and stare. My heart starts to beat in a way it hasn’t in a long time.
Jackie’s
staring
at me
.

“Lucas?” I ask.

Her eyebrows shoot up. She
must remember
who Lucas is.

“
Dani
?” He stops for a moment before continuing to walk toward me.

I look down
. I’m dressed in my new clothes, and
my hair is freshly done and straightened. I’ve discovered makeup, even though I don’t wear a lot. “Wow. I mean,
wow.” He doesn’t even pause,
just hugs me. He looks and smells like he always does. Maybe he’s even a little more grown up than how I remember.
It’s so nice to have someone from my life before this one.

Wait. He walked away from me.
What he did in front of my school…

I step back and resist the
sudden
urge to slap him.

“Well, why don’t you two catch up,” Jackie suggests
as her eyes go between us
. “I’m a little behind on a project at the office anyway.”

I’m still stunned that Lucas is in front of me
.

“We’ll see you later on.” She loo
ks at Lucas. “Nice to meet you…
D
addy
.” There’s not a whole lot of friendliness in her voice.

I’m still staring
.

Lucas
shoves his hands in his pockets and stares at the ground
as Jackie walks away.

“So what are you doing here?”
I ask. It seems safer than slapping him.

“Why don’t we grab a coffee or something?” He looks like he wants to talk.

“I don’t drink coffee.”

He sighs. “Look, Dani. I know I didn’t handle things in the best way, but I’m here now.”

“You’re way too late Lucas. Like a year.”
I fold my arms, but my body’s starting to shake. Not from the cold, just, I guess with being faced with him again.

“So is it
true…
?” H
e looks sideways at me as we start to walk up the street.

“What?”

“You’re a Mormon girl now?”

I nod.

“And the baby—”

“Eliza,” I snap. “Yes. She’s being raised by a Mormon family.”

“Wow.” He shakes his head. “Crazy how things change.”

I’m not exactly sure what he means so I’m quiet.

“
So, you wanted
to know
what I’m doing here.”

I walk with him and wait for him to continue.
As much as I’m mad at him, he’s someone from my past.
Someone who knows me, and someone who has known me.
He looks at me for a little too long.

“You’ve always been pretty
,
Dani
,
but as you’ve grown up, you’re more and more beautiful.”

I’m not sure how to respond.
I find myself watching my feet as my cheeks heat up.
The conflicting emotions surrounding Lucas are already exhausting me.

“And still really sweet,” he adds. “Oh, why I’m here. I’m working on my master’s in Spokane.”

“Wow.” I’m impressed.
Master’s degree.

“I wanted to see you. You are a very hard girl to t
rack down. First I found Daniel. H
e’d just gotten a letter from your grandparents who said you’d been there
,
so I contacted them and they reluctantly gave me your address here.”

Daniel. Family.

“You have a way to get in touch with Daniel?” He feels a million miles away. I
think
he’d talk to me. I’m
doing my best to blink back tears at the thought of being able to talk to him again
—to being in any kind of contact.

“You okay?” Lucas
leans forward to look
at me.

It all hits me in a rush. “No!
I’m not okay. I miss my family
. T
hey won’t talk to me and I want to talk to them and…”

“Hey, h
ey.” He puts his arm around me, squeezing me close.

I can’t believe how emotional I am
. Seeing Lucas has brought so much
back to the surface.

“I have his address. I’ll make sure you get it.”

“Thanks.” I
step away until his arm drops,
and take a few deep breaths. “Well, you found me. What do you want?”

“I want to apologize. I shouldn’t have let you dismiss me the way you did. I should have stuck around no matter what. I was just scared
,
and I didn’t deal with it well.”

“No. You didn’t.” I can’t believe how much strong I feel already.

He stops and swallows, looking very…contrite.
“And I’d like to see our baby.”

“She’s not our baby.”
Lucas doesn’t understand any of this
. “She’s Brian and Leigh’s baby.”

“She?” He smiles. “Your grandma wouldn’t say.”

“Eliza Claire Wright.” I love her name. “She’s beautiful.”

“So, you see her sometimes?” He looks hopeful.

“Yep. I spent Christmas with her family.”

“Wow.” He looks confused then. “Isn’t that awkward?”

“It’s always hard to leave,” I admit. “I haven’t figured out how to leave their house without crying.”

He
puts his arm around me, and
pulls me into him as
we start
walk
ing again
. I think we’ve passed three coffee places at this point but neither of us notices.

“And they’re
obviously
Mormon
,
too.”

“Yes.”

“And so is your boyfriend.”

“What?” I stop
.

“Your brother said you moved here with Michael Mason.”

“No…
well, yes
,
but it’s...” I shake my head. “He’s on his mission right now anyway.” And wants me to follow the rules. Ha! I know it’s childish
,
but I wish he could see me now, under Lucas’ arm. This is
me
, following the rules. I’m
a snot
, but don’t care.

“Really?” Lucas’
arms tightens
.

“Yes, really.”

“Oh! Here we are, this is a Dani place to shop.”

I look
up at a skate shop and vintage T
-shirt store. It wouldn’t hurt to have a few vintage
favs
and a hoodie. I miss my
hoodies
.

~
~
~

I end up with seven T
-shirts. I’m a small and get everything on sale.
I also buy
a new pair of chucks. I change in the store. I feel good. It’s a happy mix for me. My d
esigner jeans, an old asteroid T
-shirt, my new chucks and my little jacket and scarf. Lucas smiles.

“This is nice.” He take
s my hand as we leave the store, but I shrug him off
.
I’ve already learned that Lucas is dangerous for me. I’m not about to make that mistake again. But
I’m so happy to see him here
. So happy he tracked me down.
So happy to see someone from my old life.

“I have somewhere I want to take you, if you think you can keep up.” I smile. I’ve passed by this game place a ton of times since moving here and have never gone in. Now is my chance.

Lucas and I spend hours. Their selection of the original arcade gam
es is awesome. When we leave
I feel more like myself than I have in a long time.

“How have you not been in there before?” he asks. “I’d pop in every day for a few minutes at least.”

I laugh a little. It was fun but not that fun. I’ve moved on.

“Where are you staying?”
I ask as we walk back to Jackie’s house.

“I’m just passing through on my way to school.”

“So, did you plan on sleeping in your car while you’re here?”

He laughs. “I’m not sure. I didn’t know if I’d be able to find you. I start school i
n a few days and I want to see…um…
Eliza before I go.”  

“Well, you can crash at my place for tonight if you want.”

“How will your roommate feel about that?”

I shrug. “I don’t know.” She’ll probably hate it.

“Well, don’t forget what happened last time we spent a night together…” He grins.

“Well, I won’t make that mistake again.” I think about what that one act has done to my life.

“Was it that bad?” He’s trying to tease.