My Forever June (8 page)

Chapter Twenty-two

June

This
latest episode had lasted all of two whole days. They seemed to be growing longer, and that had me worried.

             
That night, Tucker refused to allow me to leave. He was almost in a frenzy, and the nurses wanted to keep him calm to avoid any triggers so they allowed me to stay the night. I was so relieved, because, honestly, I didn’t think I would be able to leave him. The way he woke up needing me like I was his life-line had touched me deeply. I knew I couldn’t leave him. He was my life now, and I was his.

             
I crawled onto the bed and snuggled close, Tucker’s arms wrapped tight around me, and that’s the way we stayed.

             
The next day, the doctor came in with results from the testing. Tucker’s parents came and we all sat in the small room to get the news. He threw out a lot of technical terms that I didn’t understand, but what it boiled down to was that certain parts of his brain tissue had been damaged. They concluded that his past history with the seizures as a child most likely aided in this condition. Yet, he admitted they had never quite seen anything like his condition to where, with guidance, he was still able to perform common functions like eating and walking. This part was a mystery to them. They informed us that they were documenting his case for future cases. The end result was, in order to repair the damage, he would need a very risky surgery, with a 50/50 chance of success—and an even lower chance of survival.

             
After all the drama had died down, it was just Tucker and I left. I sat on the bed beside him, rubbing his back as he lay on his side facing away from me.

             
“How does it feel?” I asked. He had been complaining of a headache earlier.

             
“It’s hard to explain. My brain feels kind of like a dry sponge banging around in there.”

             
This made me giggle as I instantly thought of the show
SpongeBob SquarePants
, so I began singing the opening song for the show. “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants! Absorbant and yellow and porous is he. SpongeBob SquarePants!” Tucker spun around and gawked at me, but I kept singing. “If nautical nonsense be something you wish. SpongeBob SquarePants! Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish.” Then I froze as several nurses in the hall finished, singing, “SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob Square Pants! SpongeBob SquarePants! Sponge! Boooob! Square! Paaaaants!” Then someone finished it with a whistle. I looked down at Tucker, both of our eyes wide, and then we burst into roaring laughter, but it didn’t match the laughter coming from the hallway.

             
That afternoon, after Tucker was showered and had eaten a little something, he said he was feeling a lot better, so we took a little walk on the beautiful outside grounds.

             
We held hands, and I laid my head on his shoulder as we strolled along the walkways around the institute. I gazed up at him, my heart in my throat. “Tucker, I don’t want you to have this surgery.”

             
He lowered his head, nodding. “I know.”

             
“It’s just that I just found you! I can’t lose you now!”

             
He turned to me, taking my face in his hands. “I know, baby. It’s okay. I feel the same way, but I may never get better. And the doctor said most likely my episodes will increase in frequency and length. I can’t ask you to stop your life for me. What kind of life would that be for you? If I have the surgery, at least I have a chance.”

             
“I don’t care about what kind of life I’ll have. All I care about is being with you. Please, Tucker. Please, don’t have this surgery.”

             
He sighed, and his expression told me he knew it would come to this decision. “Okay, June. I will tell the doctor tomorrow…and my parents.”

             
I jumped into his arms as his came around me, pulling me off my feet. “I love you so much.”

             
“Don’t you know? You’re my forever, June—my forever.”

             
I pulled back and smiled at him. “I’m your Forever June?”

             
He laughed. “Yes, my Forever June. That is exactly what you are.” Then he kissed me so hard my brain turned to liver and my muscles turned to mush.

             
And with that, the discussion of his surgery was ended, and thank goodness, for the first time, his parents were in full agreement with me. 

Chapter Twenty-three

Tucker

That evening, the nurses wheeled in a bed for June to sleep in, since they had finally given in and allowed her to stay with me. Of course, she wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s funny, but I never pictured her as stubborn, and yet it
was just another thing that endeared me to her. Even funnier than that was the fact that, for some very odd reason, I was picturing a couple in high school, the guy liking the girl, but the girl hating the guy. And I couldn’t remember for the life of me where the thoughts came from. So I told June.

             
Of course, she laughed. “That is so amazing!” she squealed as she then picked up a book, saying that she had been reading to me while I was in my state of frozenness.

             
Bug-eyed, I said, “You mean I remember what you read to me while I was a zombie?”

             
She smirked and cocked her head, and I could tell by her expression that something sassy was about to come out of her mouth. I was right.

             
“You know, Tucker, even zombies have brains. Get it? Brains!” And then she burst into laughter at her own joke.

             
I was awestruck. Just when I thought I couldn’t love her anymore, I fell harder. She was plain adorable, if by adorable I meant totally gorgeous with the quirkiest personality. It was then that I was struck by a thought and looked around the room. It was clean and organized. She wasn’t cluttering up the place.

She followed my gaze as if sensing my observation.
“What?”

             
“The room is neat and clean.”

             
She shrugged. “What can I say? You’re rubbing off on me, Tucker Mitchell.”

             
I could feel my creepy grin growing wide. I liked the sound of that. I didn’t know how I was going to survive this evil illness, but I knew I had to survive it. I very much desired many more years to get to know this exquisite woman in front of me. I couldn’t let it beat me. I just couldn’t. 

Chapter Twenty-four

June

Tucker and I spent a week in that institute without any more episodes, so on the 8
th
day, they let us leave. They said as long as Tucker didn’t drive he should be fine. And so, we packed up his things and I drove him home. We were thrilled. Maybe this meant that he wouldn’t have any more spells. Maybe he was okay now. I was gonna leave him at his apartment and then take off toward my own home, needing to check on things and wash some clothes, something I really
really
hated to do. I promised to come back to see him after all of my chores were done. We hugged and kissed then kissed some more, and then I reluctantly peeled myself from his embrace and headed to the elevator.

             
Back at the cottage, I stuffed in a load of laundry and then went in search of Felix. I had asked Chase to come over and check in on him every day. He also had his doggy door so he could come and go. He was a creature of habit and didn’t usually stay out for very long, but he had that option if he chose it.

             
I finally found him underneath my bed. This meant he was mad at me. I called to him, but he wouldn’t budge, so I crouched down on my stomach and crawled under the bed in pursuit. Just when my fingers would graze him, and I thought I would be able to grab him, he would back up just out of reach. The space was getting tight, but I crawled further and tried again, and again he repeated the same gesture. This went on for quite a few minutes, and I was beginning to get aggravated at the stubborn, fat, and now I believed, possessed cat. He hissed and then darted around me and out of the room.

             
“Fine! You crazy ol’ cat! I didn’t want you anyway!”
Stupid feline.
I was about to crawl back out, but it was so tight, that as I inched backward, I felt something poke me. I tried to move, but it seemed that my shirt was caught on the metal frame above me. Great. I was stuck. The metal frame was digging into my back, and the more I tried to move the more painful it became.
Great, now what!

             
“Help! Help!” I yelled, knowing it was useless.

             
I lay under that bed for the rest of the day. I think I even dozed off a little, but when I heard the phone ringing, I tried again, this time the digging was intense.

             
“Help! Help!” I began to yell louder this time. It was probably Tucker on the phone, and he was mostly likely worried. I needed to get out from under this bed!

             
“Hello!” someone called from the living room.

             
My hope sprang to life! “In here!” I screamed.

             
I heard laughing from behind me. “June! Is that you?”

             
“Chase! Oh, thank God. Can you help me? I’m stuck.” I didn’t hear any response for a moment and then I heard what sounded like clicking from a phone. “Chase! Are you taking pictures?!”

             
“I’m sorry, June, but no one will ever believe me otherwise. Now, how did you go and get stuck under the bed?”

             
“I was trying to get Felix. Now, shut up and get me out of here.”

“What’s the special word?” He asked in amusement.

I rolled my eyes. “Pleeease.”

             
He then lifted the bed, and as I pulled out, my shirt ripped down the back, along with some skin—but I was free.

             
“Thank you, Chase. Whew! It feels good being out of there. How did you know to come, anyway?”

             
Well, Felix was at my window meowing pretty heavy. At first I ignored him, but he was persistent. It was when Tucker called me and asked me to come and check on you that I knew there might be a problem. Good thing I came, huh?” He was smirking.

             
I began laughing. It was pretty funny—at least now that I was free. “Well, thank you, Chase,” I said as he was leaving. “And I better not see those pictures on Facebook!”

             
He just snickered and closed the door behind him.

             
I called Tucker and told him all about my afternoon. He thought it was hilarious, especially the fact that Felix obviously had a guilt complex and tried to get help, but only after I spent most of the afternoon under the bed. And after listening to him laugh for about five minutes, I then told him I was coming over. I didn’t tell him that I had packed a bag and stuck it in my trunk just in case we had to go back to the institute. I hated to be without the things I needed. I know it showed a lack of faith, but hey—I never said I was perfect.

Chapter Twenty-five

June

When I
arrived at his apartment, I could smell the aroma of lasagna. He knew it was one of my favorite foods.

             
“Hey,” I said as I stepped into the kitchen.

             
“Oh hey,” he responded with eagerness. “I’m glad you’re here—and not still under the bed.”

             
“Ha, ha, real funny.” He was still having fun with that.

After dinner, we washed the dishes together, I washed and he dried and put away. And I have to say that doing the dishes with Tucker wasn’t that bad at all. Afterwards, we sat in the living room and snuggled as we watched episodes of
The Office.

Without warning, he began kissing a trail from the top of my head and working all the way to my ear. I felt chill bumps rise on my arms and neck.

              “Are you sure you want to start that with me?” I asked, my voice all but a whisper.

             
“Yes ma’am. I am totally sure.” His voice was raspy and full of the desire I knew he carried for me. After all, it had been a while since we were totally alone.

             
He continued with the trail of kisses until his lips finally and painfully found mine. He kissed me hard, and the passion was overwhelming. The love I felt for this man was almost too much to bear.

             
“I love you,” he breathed without breaking the kiss.

             
Suddenly, he jerked back and his features distorted in pain. “June,” he managed to say.

             
“No! No! No!” Tucker, no! Don’t leave me!” I took his face in my hands, but it was too late. His eyes dilated and slowly became distant, and I knew he was already gone.

* * * * * *

I sat by his side every day for two weeks, only leaving for short trips at a time. It was painful to watch him just lie there, unmoving. The memory of the vibrant young man with the amazing smile, adorable face, and humor to match was what kept me going. I longed to have him smile at me again, to hold his hand, to talk about our future together. I missed the way he looked at me, as if I were the only woman in the world, and the way he played with my hair without even thinking. Those were the things I lived for now.

             
His parents visited regularly, but they didn’t stay long. We didn’t really have that much to talk about, and to be honest, I wasn’t much in the mood for conversation. I did watch marathons of Duck Dynasty, but they weren’t as enjoyable as they once were. Even my coffee seemed bland without Tucker. I tried increasing the sugar, but it didn’t help.

             
I did enjoy the nurses; one in particular, Sarah. We had formed a connection almost immediately. The heavy-set nurse was around the age of 40 and had a great personality. I would describe her as having a carefree spirit, like me. Although, I was having trouble connecting to that spirit these days, or at least when Tucker was ‘gone’. Most of the nurses were pained at what was happening to us. They watched it all unfold, and they, just like me, were powerless to do anything to change it.

             
Tucker did finally wake from his comatose state, but it didn’t last. We had a little over a week and it came again. I watched it happen, just like before, and just like before, my heart broke at the sight of the lost boy crying out to me as he slipped away, but there was nothing I could do to keep him with me…nothing.

             
One day, as I sat by Tucker’s bed reading to him, my phone rang. It was my mom, but I decided to answer it.

             
“Hey, Mom.”

             
“Hello, dear. I am in town and hoped I could see you.”

             
This couldn’t have been a worse time. She knew I was with Tucker and that he needed me, but I agreed to meet her for lunch.

             
We met at a nice Greek restaurant, and once I stepped inside, I spotted her instantly. She always liked to sit close to the front door in case of an emergency so she could get out faster than the others. I remember times when we waited for more than 30miniutes just so we could get the right seat near the door. I shuttered at the memory. And there she was, sitting by the entrance waiting on me. Her expression told me she wasn’t pleased at my tardiness, but she said nothing as she stood and we exchanged an embrace.

             
“Hello, Mom. You look very nice.” I said as I took my seat. The head-to-toe white looked remarkably good on her. It made her red hair pop, and it suited her.

             
“Hello, June.” She took a moment to study me. “You look exhausted. And have you lost weight? June, dear, you have to take care of yourself.”

             
I sighed. “I’m a little tired. I didn’t sleep as good last night, but I’m fine.”

We just made small talk for the rest of the meal. She caug
ht me up on my dad and brothers and all they were doing. I was never really close to my two brothers. For one thing, I was a late addition to the family, and they were a lot older than me, and we didn’t have much in common. I did talk to them on the phone once a month or so, but that was about it.

After our meal
, my mom insisted on following me home to the cottage. I really wanted to get back to Tucker, but I found myself agreeing to her wishes. It seemed that not much had changed in that area.

We arrived at the cottage
, exited our cars and approached the porch. She stepped up the steps and turned to face the beach. She stood there, without speaking, and stared out at the ocean for a long moment. She looked reflective and peaceful as she gazed out at the breathtaking scene before her. I almost hated to interrupt, but I did.

“W
ould you like to come inside?” As I unlocked the door, we both stepped inside and my mother removed her white, big-brimmed hat and sat it on the desk by the door.

             
“Well, this place looks nice. You’ve cleaned it recently.”

             
“Yes. I’ve been keeping it clean these last weeks. It seems that I don’t hate cleaning as much as I once did.” There was a message there, but I didn’t feel up to elaborating. Actually, I had just cleaned the cottage a few days before, because I needed something constructive to do so I wouldn’t go crazy.

             
“Would you like something to drink? I’m afraid I don’t have much. I’m not here very much these days.”

             
She turned to me then. “Dear, I worry about you. Your dad and I agree that you are wasting your life on this sick boy. I mean how much could you really know about him after only a few months?”

             
Here we go; the real reason for her visit.
“Listen, Mom, I know you want to help me, but I know what I’m doing. I love this man. And I am where I want to be.”

             
“But, darling, you’re throwing your life away. Your dad and I want you to end this relationship now before you get hurt any further. We want you to come home with us.”

             
I knew that really meant that
she
wanted me to come home with her. Dad was supportive of my decision.

I could feel the anger rising up inside of me. I didn’t want to hurt my mother, but I c
ouldn’t listen to any more of this. “That’s enough! Tucker is the best thing that has ever happened to me! He loves me very much! He would never give up on me if I was sick, and I will never give up on him! He needs me, and I will not let him down. I am not throwing my life away!” I was getting really worked up and the words were coming out hot and fierce. “He is my life now! I will not lose hope! I will hold onto it with all I possess. I am taking hope captive, and I will not be discouraged, not by you or anyone. Now, I need to get back to Tucker. You are welcome to stay here as long as you like.” And with that, I walked out the door and out of her life—for now anyway.