My Guardian Angel (9 page)

XVII

Armimas, rmimas, mimas, imas, mas, as . . .”The girls and women dance in a circle and sing. Muriel and Bella, Naomi and Rachel, and their two identical mothers are all there, as well as the wife and daughters of Nathan ben Simon, the tanner, and the apothecary's wife, and of course Elvina and other neighborhood women. The street echoes with their laughter. They are all chanting: “Armimas, rmi- mas . . .” and some of them even think they can see the wicked demon whose specialty is attacking students to make them forget everything they learn. Yes, there he goes; they can just see him, so ugly and clumsy and crestfallen, now. . . . That's him, shrinking and shrinking as they shorten his name, because without a name he cannot exist. Then they laugh at his defeat, all the while holding hands and dancing around Judah ben Nathan who has just brought little Toby home from his first day at school. Judah is holding little Toby aloft. Toby is the only son of Nathan ben Simon, born after several girls.

Today is Toby's fourth birthday. His father has decided to educate his son better than he himself was educated or, indeed, his father and grandfather before him, tanners one and all. Nathan ben Simon has begged Judah ben Nathan to do him the immense honor of taking Toby, his only son among all those girls, for his first day at the school.

And so this morning Judah ben Nathan came to pick up little Toby. He lifted him high in his arms, wrapped him in a prayer shawl, and then hid him under his coat. This was to keep him from being seen by any demon who might think of harming him on this day when he was to be introduced to the holy letters. The
mazzikim
have no shadows, but they do have bodies, eyes, and ears, and they are always on the lookout for young, vulnerable prey.

As he was wrapping the child in his prayer shawl, Judah proclaimed, “Toby, son of Nathan, today you represent the children of Israel who left Egypt in order to receive the tablets of the Law at the foot of Mount Sinai.”

Nathan the tanner and his wife were weeping with pride and joy. Elvina's eyes welled up with tears as she watched. She was moved to see the parents' respect and gratitude toward Judah.

“Hide his face well,” someone said. “The boy must not come within sight of any dogs, nor must he look at one, for that would be a bad omen.”

“Shhh!” said Nathan's wife. “Do you think you have to tell Judah ben Nathan what to do?”

She glanced anxiously at Judah, but he was laughing. “Don't worry,” he said. “He will see no dogs, and no dog will see him, for it is written: ‘Against the sons of Israel, no dog shall point his tongue.'”

It had been a long time since Elvina had seen her father in such a good mood. Muriel and Bella gave Nathan ben Simon three little honey cakes they had baked especially for the occasion, as well as an apple and an egg, for a child who is about to go to school must have something to eat. They also gave him a small pot of honey. Then Judah, still carrying Toby, set off toward the school, followed by Nathan ben Simon and his brother, Joseph ben Simon, Muriel's father.

Then the girls and women sat down to wait for the men's return. The winter was nearly over, and they dragged benches and stools out into the street, so as to sit comfortably, spinning and chatting in the warm sunshine.

Toby's sisters were waiting for him at the corner of the street. No way were they going to miss the future schoolboy's return from his initiation!

Rachel and Naomi sat on either side of Elvina. They seemed troubled and gloomy, and for once they were silent. Rachel was staring obstinately at her feet and swinging them to and fro. Naomi was frowning. Their spindles and staffs lay abandoned on a bench.

Naomi spoke first. “They're making him lick the sacred letters, aren't they, Elvina?”

“Yes,” Elvina began. “First they give him the honey cakes, then the apple and the egg —”

“Yes, yes,” they interrupted. “We know that already, but what happens next?”

“Then Obadiah gives him a wax tablet with the sacred letters on it. He spells them for Toby, one by one, pointing them out with his finger.”

“And then?”

“Then Obadiah spreads honey on all the letters, and Toby licks it off so that he will taste the sweetness of the Torah. Then they all gather around Toby and congratulate him and dance around him. Of course, Obadiah's pupils love this extra break time, and they try to make it last as long as possible.”

Without doing it on purpose, at least not absolutely on purpose, Elvina had mentioned Obadiah's name no fewer than three times. Surely the twins were going to jump at the chance to tease her mercilessly! Elvina prepared herself for the onslaught, but none came. There was silence. It was as if the twins had become not only mute, but deaf as well. Rachel continued rocking back and forth on the bench, swinging her feet as high as she could, and Naomi continued to frown and stare into space.

“And what about us?” asked Rachel, finally. “Why don't
we
get all that? Why don't they let
us
lick the sacred letters? They don't even show them to us. Why, Elvina? Why?” She was on the verge of tears.

Before Elvina had time to answer, Bella, who had been following the conversation from her footstool, answered for her. “What a stupid question! It's because you're girls, and what is normal for boys isn't normal for girls. That's all there is to it.”

Naomi glared at her elder sister as if she wanted to hit her. “We all know that the only thing that interests you is how to please your future husband.”

“And what's wrong with that?”

There was another long silence between the girls as the spinning women gossiped away around them, explaining to everyone who passed why the shops of Nathan the tanner and Joseph the furrier were closed. The passersby congratulated Toby's mother.

Then, at the very same moment, the twins whispered to Elvina, one in each ear so nobody else could hear. “Show us the letters! Teach us to read!” they begged. They moved closer, and once they had started, there was no stopping them. They threw their arms around Elvina, stroked her hair, and competed with each other to see who could hug her the hardest. “Please, Elvina!” they begged.

“Ouch, you're suffocating me!” Their warm mouths remained glued to her ears.

“Say you will, Elvina; say you will teach us!” they whispered over and over.

Elvina closed her eyes, and a smile crept across her lips.

“Well?” asked the twins.

“Well, Solomon ben Isaac, my grandfather, says that there is nothing in our Law that forbids educating girls.”

“Are you saying yes?” they asked, looking at Elvina expectantly.

“Yes!”

The twins were overjoyed. “Can we begin today?” they urged.

“Yes, we'll begin today,” replied Elvina.

The three girls jumped down from their bench and began to dance with joy. They were dancing wildly and in full view of everyone.

The twins' mother dropped her spinning in surprise and scolded, “What's gotten into you girls?”

But just then, Toby's sisters shouted, “Here they come!”

All the women rushed to meet Judah ben Nathan, who still carried Toby in his arms, hidden in the folds of his coat. At the sound of his mother's and sisters' voices, the boy peeked out, his face still smeared with honey.

Now little Toby, thrilled that he is the center of attention, smiles down at the women. They all dance around him, but none of them dance as joyfully as Naomi, Rachel, and Elvina. They jump higher and shout louder than any of the others, “Armimas, rmimas, mimas . . .” to upset the wicked Armimas, demon of stupidity and forgetfulness, and shrink him out of existence, so that he will never ever dare to harm Toby . . . or Naomi or Rachel!

Second Letter to the Mazal

My dear Mazal, what shall I do? Once again I have acted without thinking. I hate this secret that keeps me awake at night. I am not Esther, acting under the guidance of Mordecai. I am only a girl who has done something terribly stupid. . . . Perhaps I have even sinned! It's been a week now, and soon the Sabbath will return.

This morning, with all the singing and dancing, I forgot. For a whole morning I forgot about Gauthier, while he, poor thing, was alone in his hole, crying and scratching his earth-covered skin.

Later on, I remembered him and my promise. I ran to take him some bread and cheese, but I threw them in at him without stopping, just as if I had been throwing food at a dog. I'm ashamed that I did that, but I'm also ashamed of my terrible secret.

This morning, my father, Judah ben Nathan, was laughing while he lifted Toby into the air. If he only knew! If he only knew that his daughter was hiding a Crusader!

When I got home, Solomon ben Isaac was pleased. A messenger had come from Ramerupt to say that my Aunt Yochebed had a baby girl, whom she has called Hannah. My Uncle Meir will bring back my grandmother tomorrow, before the Sabbath, and my mother will return next week.

But as for me, Mazal, instead of being glad, I thought,
How on earth can I keep all this from my grandmother's sharp eyes? How will I manage to prevent her from noticing anything?

And then there's my grandfather. My whole life I have confided in him, but now I hardly dare look him in the face.

I made a promise, and that surely must mean something. If I break it, Gauthier will be right to despise me. He will say that girls are not to be counted on after all. On the other hand, he hasn't told me a thing about the Crusaders' plans. Do you think, by any chance, he is deceiving me?

Mazal, Mazal, what shall I do?

XVIII

Don't run away; keep me company, not like last time. My tongue is numb and hardly remem- bers how to speak. Soon I won't be able to utter a single word. I can't keep on talking to myself like a babbling old woman!”

Huddled down in the burrow, Gauthier tries to laugh, but his eyes give him away. They are red, and his eyelids are irritated and swollen. He grabs Elvina's sleeve as she is about to offer him a piece of bread, and he doesn't let go.

“Don't be afraid!” he says as he draws her toward him. “Last night I cleaned out my little home as well as the best housewife could. And
I
am clean, too. I've washed myself.” Gauthier smiles; then he continues, “The moon will soon be full, and the nights are not so dark. While the town was asleep, I walked to the river. I saw that spring had arrived; the apple trees were in bloom, and the moonlight shone through the flowers, making the blossoms look even whiter. The night air was warm, and the water was cold but not icy.”

As he speaks, a dreamy look comes into his eyes. “You can't imagine how good it felt to duck my head under the water. I drowned all the fleas that were tormenting me! I lay down on the riverbank where it is on the same level as the water. You must know the place, because I'm sure the women go there to do their washing. I did my washing, too. Then I lay there on my back looking up at the clouds, racing across the sky, playing with the moon. Let me tell you, those apple trees smelled wonderful.” He sniffs the air as if to bring back their scent. “Imagine that, after so many days and nights in this hole!”

Gauthier talks as a thirsty man drinks, without stopping to draw breath. Elvina listens to him gladly, thinking of the ballads her Aunt Rachel used to read to her in secret by candlelight. It is true, Gauthier speaks like a poet. . . . 

“But I was hungry,” he begins again. “Why didn't you come last night? Did you forget me?”

“Last night was the Sabbath. Just before
Havdalah
I went to see my friend Tova and her baby. After Havdalah, I couldn't go out again, and night had fallen. Then my grandmother came home, and she constantly watches me.”

“What is Havdalah?” asks Gauthier.

“It's the prayer we say when the Sabbath ends and everyday life returns. We watch for three stars to come out in the sky, then we light the fire and the lamps again, and we bless the light. We burn spices so that their perfume spreads through the whole house and gets rid of the bad smells that Satan sends us.”

“Satan sends you bad smells?” he asks.

“Yes, because he wants to take his revenge for all the evil he has not been able to do during the Sabbath! But look here, I've brought you a real feast; a big piece of meat that I managed to hide while no one was looking, two honey cakes, and some nuts. I'm sorry, but I couldn't bring you any gravy for the meat!”

Elvina is squatting down in the hole. She watches Gauthier as he wolfs down the bread and meat, then the cakes, and finally the nuts, which he cracks open with his teeth. She thinks about how brave he is and how her brother and cousin, with their easy and sheltered existence, would never be able to bear what this boy with the light blue eyes is enduring.

Gauthier wipes his mouth and starts talking again. “Last night I saw my mother in a dream. She gave me fruit, not just ordinary apples but juicy golden pears. I think that means she's in heaven and that she's watching over me.”

Elvina agrees wholeheartedly, “Yes, I'm sure that is what it means.”

But Gauthier is not listening to her. He is already talking about something else. “I know everyone who passes by my hole, at least by sight. There are schoolboys for example. I can guess which one is your brother; he looks like you. He's thin and dark, and he always walks with a red-haired boy who also looks like you.”

“That's my cousin Samuel.”

“They don't know how lucky they are, all those Jewish boys who spend their days studying as if it were the most natural thing in the world. What wouldn't I give to be in their place! But I can't turn myself into a Jew!”

“Don't Christian boys study?”

“Only if their parents want them to become priests. In my family they expect a boy to become a warrior, not a cleric. When my mother was alive, I was able to study with the monks, but the very day after she died my uncles said that I was quite educated enough and that it was time I learned to handle a sword. They wouldn't let me return to the monks.”

Gauthier pushes his hair back with an impatient gesture. “But I want to study. You see why you absolutely must continue to help me. It's my only chance. Now tell me what goes on in this town, Troyes, that you know so well and I not at all.”

Elvina shakes her head. “I don't know what goes on in Troyes, but I can tell you about the Sabbath.”

“Go on then; tell me.”

Elvina takes her mind back to the contented hours she has just spent with her family. “We had the Sabbath meal at my grandfather's, Solomon ben Isaac's. My grandmother had prepared everything. It was almost like before.”

“Before what?”

“Before you . . . well, you know . . . I mean before Peter the Hermit arrived.”

“I understand.” He nods. “Go on.”

“Around the table, only my mother, Miriam, was missing. There were several of my grandfather's students and two travelers whom my grandfather invited because they were passing through Troyes. One of them has been as far as the land of Israel and even farther — all the way to Baghdad. He has seen flying camels, which are also called dromedaries. He has seen elephants and he told us how they eat.”

Gauthier looks puzzled; then Elvina explains, “An elephant is a huge gray animal with a long nose that it uses to reach out for its food and put it into its mouth. Everything we do with our hands, the elephant does with its long nose. An elephant is so strong, it can carry twelve armed warriors! The other merchant had nothing exciting to tell us, but he has his own personal clock that he wears attached to his belt.”

“He has a clock of his own?” Gauthier's blue eyes are wide with surprise.

“Yes. It's a long silver tablet with gold edges, and it has holes in it. The names of the months are carved in pairs in a certain order. You hold the silver tablet by a chain and put a little silver peg into one of the holes, depending on the month it is, and then the peg's shadow falls on signs, which mark the hours. So the traveler can know what time it is whenever he likes, in the forest or at sea. All he needs is a ray of sunlight, as the merchant said. It really is magnificent!”

Elvina remembers the astonishment in Solomon ben Isaac's eyes. He looked even more amazed than the boys! First he weighed the clock in his hands and admired its lightness, and then he went over to the window so that the light shone on the dial. He called everyone over to come and read the time, not only the family but also his pupils and even the servants.

“And what did you talk about during the meal?” Gauthier asks.

“My grandfather explained some points in the week's readings and told us how the Lord loved Moses, who is our teacher. I was helping my grandmother to serve, but not a word of what was being said escaped me. Sabbath conversations are always so interesting.”

She thinks of Obadiah and his deep gentle voice. She can hear his words from the end of the table where she sits when she isn't serving. He always asks Solomon such intelligent questions and listens to the answers with such respectful attention.

She thinks again of the way Obadiah raised his eyes to her and how he nodded his head in thanks when she refilled his glass and later when she handed him a honey cake.

Obadiah's beard is thick and black like a grown man's, but even when he makes fun of someone, as he does occasionally, he never looks arrogant.

Elvina doesn't mention any of this to Gauthier, but the memory of Obadiah's smile must have lit up her face fleetingly, for Gauthier immediately says, “There was someone there whom you have not told me about.”

Elvina shakes her head. She feels herself blushing and hates herself for it. She blushes even more, shakes her head again, and finally gives a little laugh. “No, there was no one else.”

Elvina tells herself that she is being just as ridiculous as Bella, but Gauthier doesn't make fun of her. “It's only natural. You're a pretty girl, and I'm sure your parents will have no trouble finding you a husband.”

“Maybe,” says Elvina; then she changes the subject. “Has your brother come to you? Did he say anything?”

“Yes, but he only stayed a couple of minutes,” replies Gauthier. “He was worried they might notice his absence. He told me that Peter the Hermit will soon give the order for us to leave. He wants to head for Germany.”

At this, Elvina remembers what her grandfather has told her. “Several men,” she says, “including my father, are supposed to be taking letters to this famous Peter the Hermit one day soon. The letters are for our brothers in Germany, asking them to give Peter and his men the provisions they need in return for the safety of our people and their property.”

“You'll see, it'll turn out all right in the end.” Gauthier smiles.

Elvina, feeling reassured, continues. “If only your troops could leave on the day of Purim, without harming us or burning our houses! That would be a really special Purim for the Jews of Troyes. Tomorrow is the fast of Esther. I am going to fast for the first time in my life, just like Esther fasted before going to find her husband, King Ahasuerus.”

“If you were Esther, I would be Ahasuerus and you would have to marry me. All I'm asking for is a bit of bread and water, so you get off lightly! Don't look so horrified! My eyes are itching; do you know what that means?”

Elvina takes a closer look at Gauthier and answers him earnestly. “It means that they have got more dust and earth in them than they can bear, poor things. Tomorrow even my fast won't stop me from bringing you a very good ointment. It's made from pigeon droppings. In two days, your eyes will be better.”

Gauthier laughs. “Thank you,” he says. “Bring me your ointment, but you should know what it means to have itching eyes. It's the sign that soon these very eyes will be reading again, reading all the books they haven't yet read! It means I'll soon be studying again! That's what it means!”