My Heart Says Yes (10 page)

“This is your first
month in Chicago, it’s the beginning of the semester, and we are two young
single women. We’re going out before we both get too swamped with school work
this semester, so throw on something fabulous!”

“Um, I hate to break it
to you Kel, but you’re not single.  You do remember your boyfriend David, don’t
you?”

She rolled her eyes at
me.  “I know, but I’m not married, I can still flirt a little bit!”

I was feeling pretty
good about myself so I was totally up for going out.  We had a late dinner at
Tavern on Rush and then we decided to have drinks at the bar before we went
over to Whiskey.  It was around 11:00 and we were talking to a couple of guys at
Tavern when I felt Kelly nudge me.  I thought that meant that she was ready to
ditch the guys so I was getting ready to say something when I followed what her
eyes were looking at.  My stomach dropped into my toes when I saw Caleb sitting
at a table, looking very cozy, with Carrie. 

I instantly felt like
such a fool for ever believing that a guy like that would be interested in
someone like me.  I should have listened to the girl at the party who said he
has a type and that type is the tall, thin, blonde model type.  Suddenly, I
didn’t want to be there anymore and I certainly didn’t want them to see me. 
Kelly could see that I was upset so we made an excuse, ditched the guys we were
talking to, and we were going to leave but I had to use the ladies’ room first,
so she waited for me near the front door.

I was touching up my
makeup when I heard the door open and looked over to see Carrie standing there,
staring at me with her arms crossed.

“Wow, I’m surprised that
you even know about his place.”

This girl was just plain
nasty.

I wasn’t going to let her
get to me as I raised an eyebrow at her.  “I could say the same thing to you.”

She looked shocked and
then annoyed that I had deigned to question her cool meter.

“Um, didn’t you just
move here from some small cow town?  You wouldn’t know a cool place to hang out
from a barnyard dance.  Caleb told me how he felt sorry for you and gave you a
ride home today with the old people.”

Wait a second.  The
old
people?  That witch had a lot of nerve calling them that, and it pissed me
off.  And if she called them that then why was she volunteering at Friends of
Seniors.  I had a huge soft spot for the elderly and I wasn’t going to let this
skinny, Blake Lively wannabe disrespect them.  I narrowed my eyes at her, my
hand on my hip.

“First of all, we refer
to seniors as elderly or senior citizens, so show some damned respect.  Second,
you need a lesson in sensitivity training so I think I will mention this to
Jean at Friends of Seniors.  I think the only volunteers that should be allowed
there are those who truly love our elderly friends, and from what you just
said, clearly that is not you. And finally, third, you said Caleb said he felt
sorry for me and that is why he gave me a ride home?”  I sneered at her and stepped
closer to her so I was right in her face.  “Ask him if he felt sorry for me
when his tongue was in my mouth this afternoon, you conceited witch.”

I left a stunned Carrie
standing in the bathroom looking pissed and it felt really good to let her have
it.  I smiled to myself as walked out, proud of myself that I showed her that I
was not a pushover.  As I walked over to the front door where Kelly was waiting
for me, I glanced into the bar and Caleb happened to look up right then.  At
first he looked confused and then a huge smile spread across his face and he
waved at me and got up to walk toward me.

“Let’s go.”  I ushered
Kelly out of the bar because I really didn’t want to face him.  I saw an even
more confused look when he saw me walk away.  I know we weren’t exclusive, but
after all that stuff he said to me about being under my spell, I couldn’t
believe
he was out with Carrie.  The more I thought about it, the more I started to
think that she was his girlfriend.  He was probably a little bored with her and
since I was fresh meat he probably thought he could have his fun with me until
he wanted someone else.  Well, I wasn’t that girl that he could do that to, I
would never allow him to treat me like that.  I was not going to be used by any
man, ever.

We went to Whiskey and I
had a gin and tonic to help calm me down, and I told Kelly about my run in with
Carrie and what she said to me about Caleb.

“Emma, you can’t listen
to that.  She is obviously threatened by you and will say anything to make you
lose interest in Caleb.  Seriously, there is no way that he gave you a ride
because he felt sorry for you. The guy likes you.”

“Really?  Then why is he
out on a date with her on a Saturday night? Why is she stuck to his side at the
senior center?  And they were together at that party a few weeks ago. I think
she’s his girlfriend and he just wants me as a little side thing to play with. 
Oh whatever, I don’t want to think about this anymore. Let’s change the subject
and just have fun.”

Kelly didn’t push me
because she knew me well enough to know that when I was done talking about
something, I was done.  We had another cocktail and then we decided to call it
a night.

When I crawled into bed
that night I felt sad about the way the night had turned out.  I really thought
that Caleb and I had something and that we were going to turn into something
more.  I decided that I would just have to push him out of my head and return
to my previous plan of concentrating on me for the year.  Boys always made
things too complicated and I didn’t want complicated in my life.  I vowed to forget
Caleb Morgan and told myself that starting the next day, I would never say his
name again.  I would be cordial when I saw him at the senior center, but I
would not engage in any personal interaction with him.  I was done with Caleb
Morgan and in the history of my life, he wouldn’t even register on the chart. 

The next morning I woke
up feeling sad about the way the previous night had ended.  I thought about how
happy I had been earlier and I wished that I could get that feeling back. 
Maybe
one day the right guy will come along for me.
  I felt myself falling into a
pity party so I hopped out of bed and made breakfast for Kelly and me.

Kelly came into the
kitchen while I was still cooking.  “Oooh, something smells good!”  I know what
she was doing, she always did this whenever I was down about something.  She
was really good about being happy and positive when I needed it, and you know
what?  It always worked, I always felt better, and today was no exception.

“I thought I’d make a
big breakfast for us to celebrate me avoiding getting involved with a huge
jerk.  The pancakes are ready, do you want your eggs scrambled or fried?”

“Emma…”

“No, don’t worry, I’m
fine.  I should have known that a guy like that wouldn’t really be interested
in me.  Carrie is much more his type, which is fine, because the right guy for
me will come along.  I just thought I had better instincts, I guess being off
the market for two years with Jordan skewed my senses.  Anyway, we’re
celebrating this morning Kel, scrambled or fried?”

“For the record a guy
like Caleb Morgan
would
be interested in someone like you because you
are an awesome, fabulous girl and he would be lucky to have you even look twice
at him.  You won’t like me saying this but, I saw the way he looked at you and
it seemed to me that he liked you.  Maybe what you saw last night wasn’t what
you thought.”

“How could it have been
anything but what I thought Kel?  He was holding her hand at the table, and he
told her he gave me a ride home probably to cover his ass with her so if anyone
told her that they saw us leaving together, he could just say that he gave me,
Jack and Mary all a ride together. When I told her that he kissed me, she
genuinely looked shocked so he was probably fooling around on her.  Anyway,
he’s a big jerk and I dodged a bullet with that one. I’m just going to go back
to the year of me and focusing on myself, and not even think about guys at all
this year.”

"Okay, but if
something happens and Mr. Wonderful comes along before this year is over, I
won't give you a hard time for breaking your own rule. Now, back to this
scrumptious breakfast you have cooked for us, I will have my eggs scrambled
please with a little bit of cheddar cheese.” 

“Coming right up!”

Later that day, I met
Marta at school to work on our project for Friday’s class.  We were deep into
the fifth hour of work when my cell phone rang.

“Sorry Marta, I’ll be
quick.”

I walked into the
hallway and answered my phone.

“Hello?”

“Emma.”

I instantly froze when I
heard that deep, familiar voice.  Why was Caleb calling me?

“What do you want
Caleb?’

“Well that’s not a very
friendly reception.”

“I’m busy.”  I was
annoyed that he even was calling me.

“Did you see me last
night?”

“I did.”

“Did you see me wave at
you?”  He sounded confused.

“I did.”

“Are you in the habit of
ignoring people when they wave hello to you?”  He started to sound annoyed and
that pissed me off.  Where did
he
get off thinking that he could be
annoyed with
me
?

“I’m really not in the
habit of acknowledging people that try to use me and pity me,” I snapped.  

“What are you talking
about?”  His voice was angry now.

“Ask your girlfriend
Carrie.  I have to go, goodbye Caleb.”  My voice was cold as I hung up on him,
and I had to take a minute to calm down before I went back in the room to work
with Marta.  He had a lot of nerve calling me after I saw him holding Carrie’s
hand at the dinner table the night before.  Did he really think that he could
fool around with me behind closed doors and be with Carrie in the open?  I
wasn’t that girl that would let a guy treat her like that and I never would
be.  Any guy who wanted to be with me had to want to be with me in the dark and
in the light.

“Sorry about that
Marta.”

“Oh, no problem Emma,
we’re almost done anyway.  I think we should get together on Wednesday to go
over the final draft.  My last class is over at 3:50.  Does that work for you?”

“Yep, I will meet you
here after my last class, around 4:00.”

We worked for a little
bit longer and then went home.  I thought about my conversation with Caleb all
the way home and I tried not to feel sad about things ending the way they did. 
When I was being honest with myself I was bummed that he didn’t turn out to be
the guy that I thought he was. I was so excited about him, especially after
that little fooling around session we had at my place, but I had to just move
on, he wasn’t the guy for me.

That night Kelly stayed
at her boyfriend’s and I threw myself a mini pity party.  I ate a bowl of
frozen yogurt (ice cream had been cut out months before), and curled up on the
couch to watch some bad reality TV.  I went to bed feeling better about things
and knowing that each day would get easier, and the memory of Caleb Morgan
would fade away.

The next week of classes
things started to get really busy and the course work was intensive, so I was
really happy to have that kind of distraction.  Caleb texted me every single
day but I didn’t respond to him and I wanted nothing to do with him.  He could
play with the emotions of some other girl because I was not interested in being
that for him.  By the end of the week, Caleb Morgan was becoming a distant
memory.

On Friday, Marta and I
presented our project and I was relieved by our professor’s comments and felt
good that we were understanding everything and, creatively, we were heading in
the right direction.  I chatted with the professor after class and I was the
last one to leave the classroom.  As I was packing up all of my things, I heard
the door open.

“Did you forget
something prof…”  I looked up and saw Caleb’s beautiful eyes looking back at me
and my heart skipped a beat.

“You shouldn’t be here
Caleb.”  I tried to sound annoyed but it was really hard when I looked at his
tall, muscular frame, chiseled masculine jaw and that dark, thick gorgeous
hair.  He was easily the most attractive man I had ever seen in real life, and
my mind betrayed me as it quickly shifted back him having me pressed against
the door and kissing the back of my neck at my place.  I felt goosebumps and
had to snap out of it because he was saying something to me.

He closed the door
behind him and crossed his arms as his eyes bore a hole through me.  “I didn’t
think you were the type of girl who played games Emma.”

My eyes narrowed at
him.  “I don’t play games, I just don’t like to be used.”

He instantly got annoyed
and I saw fire flash across his eyes.  “That is the second time you’ve said
that and I have no idea what you’re talking about!  Let me tell you something
about me, when I see something I want I go after it, and I don’t give up until
I get it, and I want
you
.”  His eyes smoldered as they slowly crawled my
body from head to toe.  “I don’t like games Emma, I never have, and I won’t
play them.  We clicked the other day and then somehow things got derailed. 
What happened to make you change your mind?”