My Lady Notorious (33 page)

“No, I don’t suppose we can.” He was unwontedly sober for Cyn Malloren, frowning as if over an unpleasant prospect.

A maid came in and laid a table for them. In a moment she returned
with a loaf of hot bread, butter, and a pot of coffee. Chastity’s
stomach growled.

Cyn laughed. “Come on, then. Get started on this as we wait for the rest.”

He seated her and cut a thick slice from the loaf, layering it well
with butter. As she sank her teeth into it, he poured her coffee.
“Cream? Sugar?”

She nodded, her mouth full of buttery bread. As soon as she’d
swallowed, she drank some coffee. It flowed into her like liquid
comfort and spirit, and was much more to her taste than brandy. She
could feel herself come back to life. She grinned at him.

He grinned back.

How primitive one could become. At this moment, a gift of food spoke more eloquently of love than jewels or flowers.

At the thought of love, she sobered. She took another thoughtful
bite from the bread in her hand. She feared she knew what unpleasant
duty he was contemplating— that of marrying this young lady he had
unwittingly compromised by spending three nights in her company. And
that was without knowing she was also Chloe. She was touched that his
honour would drive him to offer marriage even to the Notorious Chastity
Ware, but she would not allow the sacrifice.

“That’s my girl.”

She flicked a glance at him. He sat studying her, chin on hands. His
eyes were shielded, yet she sensed something deep behind the lashes.

She looked down again, more confused than she could ever remember.
She wished, quite desperately, that they were safely back in the days
of Cyn and Charles.

Again, it was as if he picked up on her thoughts. “I like the fact that we can acknowledge the truth at last,” he said softly.

She kept her eyes on the bread. “How long have you known?”

There was a pause, then he said, “From the beginning.”

Her eyes jerked up to his. “
What
?”

His expression was rueful, and not a little wary. “You were very good at it, but I noticed the… er… lack of attributes.”

Chastity felt her cheeks heat, but at that moment the maid and the
innkeeper bustled in with platters of eggs, sausages, ham. and beef.
They were offered ale or cider, but refused. By the time the servants
had left, Chastity did not know what to say.

She helped herself to food, then just looked at it, despite her
hunger. “Why did you say nothing?” she asked. She wanted to ask,
Do you know about Chloe
? but that would be to give away, perhaps, more than she need.

He cut into a slice of ham, then put his knife and fork down, no
more able to eat than she. “I could sense that you needed the disguise,
love, long before I knew of your problems. I didn’t know what would
happen if I forced you to acknowledge the truth, but I suspected it
wouldn’t be good. At least from my point of view.”

She looked up sharply. “What do you mean by that?”

A slight smile twitched his lips, but his eyes were very watchful.
“I wanted—I needed—to know you better. What would you have done if I’d
challenged you the first day?”

Chastity thought back. “I don’t know. Probably left you behind, tied to the bed.”

He let the smile free. “I knew my instinct for self-preservation was sound. And you’d have been caught before the day’s end.”

“Yes.” Hunger became insistent and Chastity began to eat, but her
mind reviewed their association. Dear heaven, had it only been five
days? She admitted he’d had a problem. But then she remembered his
teasing— the garters, the Shrewsbury biscuit, his taunts at poor naive
Charles. Those dratted laces. She stared at him.

He winced, but his lips were twitching.

“You devil,” she said with soft intensity. “You… you…” The twitch became a grin. He was laughing at her, damn him!

Chastity picked up the dish of soft butter and hurled it at him. It
landed squishily on his gold-braided uniform, then slid down. While he
sat stunned, she followed it with the loaf of bread, and the contents
of the jug of milk.

He leaped to his feet, dripping. “Plague take you, woman!” When she
looked for more ammunition, he pushed her away from the table.

“You low creeping swine!”‘ she yelled at him.

“Snake.”

Chastity gaped. “
What
?”

“Swine don’t creep. Snakes do.” He was back to laughing at her.

“I don’t believe this! You’ve lied to me, tormented me, led me into
the most terrible situations.” She emphasized each point with a poke at
his squishy waistcoat. “And now you’re going to correct my
English
!”

He let her poke him back against the table, but he wasn’t at all
repentant. “You kidnapped me, stole my goods, bound me, threatened me.
And when it comes to tormenting, my sweet, wanton harpy from hell, you
could give lessons.”

Chastity felt the blood drain from her head, but the only words that came out were an inadequate “Oh, dear.”

He stepped forward and now it was her turn to retreat. “I choose to
take that as an endearment.” He grabbed her by the shoulders. “We’re
two of a kind, Chastity Ware. If I hadn’t known Chloe with my brain,
I’d have know her with my body.”

She tried to jerk away, but he wrapped her in his arms. “I’m sorry
if I’ve hurt you.” He gently tilted her chin up. “But deuce take it,”
he said, the grin breaking out again, “it’s been worth every entangled
moment.”

She tried to glare, but the merriment in his eyes brought a gurgle of laughter from her. “Are you
never
serious?”

“Not if I can help it.” He dropped a kiss on the end of her nose.
Then, disconcertingly, he turned truly serious. “But I’m not an idiot,
or a flibbertigibbet, Chastity. I’m a man, and a soldier. I’ve seen
things I hope you never see.”

He hesitated, frowning. Chastity didn’t know what was wrong, but she
wanted to soothe him. She held him a little tighter and hoped he read
it aright. He hugged her back, so perhaps he did.

“I remember a battle,” he said soberly. “It was the most damnable
weather. Icy sleet. It wasn’t too bad during action, but when night
fell we were stuck in the open with no shelter.” He looked down at her,
watching her. “We built a shelter of corpses, ours and theirs, and
slept very snug…”

Chastity swallowed and tried not to show the horror she felt.

His eyes met hers. “That’s my life. Could you share it?”

“Sleep among corpses?” It came out rather squeakily.

He laughed shortly. “They’re actually more peaceful than rats or
fleas… But no, I don’t suppose it would come to that. But I make no
promises.” He put his knuckles under her chin, preventing her from
looking down. “I’m asking you to marry me.”

“You can’t marry Chastity Ware.”

“We’ve had this conversation before. There’s no one to stop me from doing whatever I want.”

“What about Rothgar?”

“Not even him. I’m of age and my income, limited though it is, is beyond his control.”

“Are you warning me you’re poor?”

Humor twinkled in his eyes. “An impoverished Malloren. Heaven
forfend! We’ll have enough for a life of genteel comfort, when war
allows us to enjoy it. Marry me, love.”

“You don’t have to do this,” she protested. “I was a ruined woman before I met you. I look a freak—”

His lips silenced her, gently at first, then heatedly, hungrily. Her
response was powerful, and frighteningly beyond her control.

His clever lips released her, and his breathing was as unsteady as
hers. “You are not a freak, Chastity Ware, unless that’s to mean you
are unique. Your hair, if that’s what bothers you, will grow. I like it
as it is, but if you want, you have the wig.” His hand traced her face.
“I am not offering you marriage out of duty. You are beautiful. You are
more beautiful to me than any other woman, even unadorned. You are
brave. You have quick wits and a lively tongue. You are the only woman
I have ever met who can match me in spirit.” He grasped her hand and
pressed it against him. “You rouse my desire in a way that is both
frightening and wonderful. Do you remember that first day?”

The feel of him hard under her fingers flooded Chastity with a
multitude of memories, making her hot and aching, but she remembered
him spread-eagled on the bed. She nodded.

“Even then,” he said, “my body knew.” Absentmindedly she stroked
him. He shuddered. She snatched her hand away and pulled out of his
arms.

“It’s just lust,” she said. “It will pass.”

“There’s no such thing as just lust. Lust is a dirty word for
desire. I suppose in time all things will pass, but my desire of you
will not soon fade.”

“Do you know how little time we’ve known each other?” she demanded, fighting both herself and him.

“All my life,” he declared.

“Five days,” she pointed out grimly.

He waggled his eyebrows. “I was newborn the day I met you.”

“Will you be
serious
?”

“No,” he said with a flippant gesture of his hands. “I tried serious. It’s clear I’ll have to tease you into marrying me.”

She found the strength. “I’m not going to marry you.”

He just shrugged. “We’ll see.”

She wanted to throw things again.

He saw her glance at the jam-pot and moved to block her, laughing.
“Are we going to conduct our fights as well as our love with food? I
can think of any number of variations on the theme. Honey, for example,
would be better than butter. So sticky. It would take a long time to
lick away…”

Part of Chastity wanted to hit him over the head with the poker.
Most of her wanted to surrender to this blissful insanity for the rest
of her life.

“You’re messy too,” he pointed out.

Chastity looked down and saw that her clothes were now smeared with butter. “But not
wet
,” she countered.

He felt his soggy coat. “True. I’d better change back into the
clothes you are wearing, then. It’s time you became a woman again.”

“I won’t wear those indecent clothes.”

“Of course not, though they’ll perhaps do as undergarments. I’m sure we can buy you a gown.”

He was shifting the ground under her unsteady feet. “But I’m supposed to be a man.”

“There’s no reason for that anymore.” He smiled with startling
sweetness. “I want to travel with you as a woman, love. If you’re
really going to give me my
conge
, it’s the least you can do, to give me a few brief hours of truth before we part.”

A few brief hours of truth before we part
. It was a concept of such sweetness, Chastity surrendered. “How do I ride?”

“Astride if you want, like a country woman. Or we can see if there’s a side-saddle to be had.”

Chastity wondered whether skirts would make matters more comfortable. Then she saw his face, and saw that he had read her again.

He took her right hand and studied it. The mark had faded a little
but was still red and tender. “Time for you to tell me everything that
happened to you, Chastity.”

She pulled away, but he wouldn’t let go. “It’s not important,” she
said. “We should be on our way. Verity and Nathaniel could be waiting.”

“It’s important. It’s hurting you to ride, isn’t it?”

“I’m just not used to so much riding.”

“Or… lovemaking. Is that it?”

Her color was rising again. She twisted against his hold. “Why are
you tormenting me like this?” she protested. “I can ride.” Then she was
free. She headed to the door.

He blocked her. “You’re lying to me.”

Chastity cursed the fact that she seemed never able to deceive him. “If I want to lie to you, Cyn Malloren, I will.”

“Not about this.”

Now he was as serious as anyone could wish, and formidable too.
Chastity turned away, refusing to speak. She hated the memory of
Lindle’s hands on her, of being whipped like a child. She wouldn’t
speak of it.

Cyn’s hands came to rest on her shoulders, gently, cherishingly. How
could still hands express so many wonderful things? “You must tell me,”
he said softly. “It will be all right, Chastity. I promise you. Trust
me.”

She could not resist that plea. “He caned me… On my thighs. It wasn’t much, but it hurts… It should be a little better by now…”

His hands tightened, then slackened. He turned her and searched her face. “Is that the truth?”

“I don’t seem to be good at lying to you.” He laughed, and she could hear the relief. “What did you think?” she asked.

He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

He moved away and it was her turn to block him. “Oh, no, you don’t.
You bullied the truth out of me, Cyn Malloren, and now you’ll pay for
it. What did you think?”

He met her eyes. “I thought perhaps you hadn’t escaped the brothel.”

She stared at him. “But…”

“But what?”

She didn’t want to complete her sentence, but she knew he’d be back
to bullying in a moment. “But I wasn’t that sore yesterday. So why
would you think… ?”

He shook his head, but tenderly. “You’re an innocent, my darling. I rejoice, and prefer to leave you thus.”

He would have returned to the table, but she held on to his coat. “Oh, no, you don’t. Educate me.”

A light flashed in his green-gold eyes. “Ah, I intend to. All in my own good time.”

Chastity wouldn’t be diverted. “Tell me.”

He gave in. “If you’d been used in the brothel, or raped elsewhere, you’d be in pain, perhaps even torn.”

“Torn,” she said blankly.

“You see why I can’t leave you unprotected in this cruel world, my
love. You’re too innocent.” His kiss spoke of fear and the need to
protect. The buttons of her waistcoat surrendered to his fingers. Her
breasts felt their gentle worship…

A choked sound made her jerk away.

They turned to see the innkeeper at the door.

Chastity flashed Cyn a horrified glance, but he was grinning, not at
all abashed. “Ah, we are discovered. It is as you suspect, my good man,
we are runaway lovers. May I hope you look kindly on Cupid’s victims?”
This hope was accompanied by a guinea.