My Mistake (Stories of Serendipity #7) (19 page)

Thinking about what Les said, he made himself a sandwich, took some ibuprofen, grabbed his notebook and walked out onto the porch. His injuries had set back his timeline of ranch work, and he needed to make some alterations. Mooch settled himself at Brent’s feet again. The dog hadn’t left his side since the night of the accident. Brent knew the canine was torn every time somebody went out to the barn, between staying with his master, and being the typical busy body he was, and making sure things with the horses were taken care of.

Who did Casey think had been breaking into her house? Brent still thought it had to be her ex. Who else could it be? Irritation surfaced, as he remembered Casey’s offhanded way of dealing with his suspicion. That Kevin wasn’t capable of something so sinister. Any man would be capable of something sinister when it came to losing Casey. He had to tamp down murderous thoughts when he recalled Casey’s words of how Kevin had treated her, disrespecting the sanctity of their marriage. Hell, he wanted to kill the guy just for marrying her in the first place.

Fruitless thoughts. Casey didn’t want him in her life, and he couldn’t blame her. So he turned his mind to the sanctuary.

He needed to get on the tractor as soon as possible and mow. The horses needed their pastures mowed regularly, and that wasn’t something he could ask Les or Max to do for him. It was a long job, one that would take a couple of days. He also needed to fertilize the back pastures for hay cutting in the fall. He already had the fertilizer purchased, he’d been planning on doing that last week.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car coming up his driveway. He raised his head, and a tentative smile stole across his lips at the sight of Casey’s Acura bumping up the dirt road that led from the highway.

His stomach did strange things as he saw her step out of the car, his eyes going immediately to her black flip flops, trying not to imagine what she was wearing under her capri pants and tank top. He watched Mooch run out to greet her with his obligatory goosing, and saw Casey smile at the canine warmly before reaching down to stroke him.

“Hey,” he offered weakly, when she walked to where she could hear him.

She smiled a small smile at him, and he wondered what it meant. Her last words to him echoed in his mind, “Goodbye.” Those words had wrenched his heart, squeezing it harder than the searing pain in his ribs. She had come over here, presumably to talk, so he would let her say her piece. But she was here, and that was a start. He looked at her hopefully, as she climbed the two steps to his porch and stood in front of him.

“I have some things to say to you.” He watched as she took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. It was long and brown, and fell below her shoulders. He turned his thoughts away from her hair, as it just brought to mind things he couldn’t do right now.

“I’m listening, Casey.”

“The other day, I watched you sit on your couch and tell me that your problems are my fault.” She held her hand up to stop his protest. “If I had read your mind and followed you off to school your life wouldn’t have turned out like this?”

She swiped her hand through her hair again, and started pacing the small porch, two steps one way, two steps back, her shoes flipping in the silence. “Well, that’s not the way the world works, Brent and you know it. You tell me that you’ve loved me your entire life, and all I have to say is DITTO!”

Her words shocked him. Stunned, he stared at her, unable to find the words to respond. “If you hadn’t run away, I wouldn’t have married Kevin! I’d have been with you, and you wouldn’t have done any of that stuff.”

She stopped pacing and turned to him, as her words sank in. “So you can’t blame this shit on me, Brent fucking Baum! Because it’s not my fault! Now, I’m glad you’re getting clean, but you of all people know it has NEVER been a part of my plan to give my heart to another loser addict like my dad. Never.”

His heart plummeted to see her eyes shining with tears as she said her final words. “So I’ve got to figure out what the hell I’m going to do with this, because you have my heart, and I don’t even know if I want it back!”

She threw herself into the seat next to him, not touching him, but still sitting next to him. He swallowed thickly as he tried to digest her words. Finally, he drew up the courage to speak.

“What does that mean?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose, and squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t know, Brent. I love you, and I don’t want to see you hurting, but I don’t know if I can do this. I just don’t know.”

He reached over to her, and grabbed a tendril of her hair, rubbing it between his fingers. “You know I didn’t mean to blame you. It’s not your fault I’m screwed up.” He dropped her hair. “I’m sorry that’s what you took from my story.”

She raised her eyes to his. “I also took that you’re not like my dad, Brent. He never would have seen a doctor to stop drinking. He never made any effort whatsoever, so you’re not like him in that way.” She bit at a cuticle while she thought. “It’s just that, I don’t know…you’re not who I thought you were. I’ve always had this glorified hero thing in my head with you, and I’ve got to reconcile that now with the you that I’ve discovered.”

Brent’s heart plummeted. He’d been right. She’d fallen in love with the dream, and now that she knew the truth, she didn’t want him. He dropped his head into his hands and squeezed his eyes to stop the tears that threatened.

“I understand. I don’t blame you.” That was all he managed to croak out, roughly. He stood and slowly walked back inside his house, Mooch at his heels, unable to look at her again, afraid of what he might see in her eyes.

Defeated, he walked to his room and shrugged out of his clothes before lowering his body to his bed, when he’d pulled up the covers, he was surprised to hear a voice from the doorway.

“I didn’t mean I was ready to give up, completely.” Casey’s quiet voice was almost a whisper, and he turned to her, shocked.

“You’re still here.”

She smiled at him. “Yup. I’m still here.” She walked over to his bed and he saw she had an overnight bag in her hand. “I’m going to stay a while. I couldn’t figure things out at my mom’s, and things have gotten…worse. So here I am.” She shrugged, before standing and going into the bathroom. When she returned, she was wearing pajamas and smelled of toothpaste. She pulled back the covers and snuggled in next to him. Her warmth sent a shiver of something wonderful through Brent. He didn’t know exactly what it was, but it made him feel so good, he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Casey didn’t say another word, and Brent was afraid to say something to mess things up, so he held her while she snuggled into his side and fell asleep. Soon after, he was sleeping too.

Brent slept surprisingly well, but when he woke, a soft, warm presence by his side had him turning over and pulling the feminine body close. He inhaled the soft floral scent without opening his eyes to dispel the illusion. A satisfied sigh escaped him, and he nestled closer, willing himself to go back to sleep and enjoy more of this dream.

“Good morning.” His dream spoke, and Brent opened one eye, still not sure if this was real.

“Mornin’.” Warily, he pulled his head back to look at Casey better. Her curls were wild, and her smile was sheepish. “You’re still here.”

She smiled at him, and his heart beat a little bit faster. “You keep saying that.”

“Why’d you come over?”

“Well, something happened at home, and Officer Sanchez strongly suggested I not stay there. I made Mom go to Summer’s, and I came here.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “I wanted to be somewhere safe.” It was an admission, he could tell by the way she spoke the words that she was taking back something she had thought but hadn’t said.

“What do you mean? What happened?” He sat up, not wanting to relinquish his hold on her, but needing to get to the bottom of this. Why wasn’t she safe at home?

“Apparently the intruder has been letting himself in and out of my house at will for a while now. And I just realized it.” She sat up and hugged her knees. “And I think it’s Kevin.” Her plaid pajama pants were modest, but just the idea of pajamas on Casey made Brent’s mind do inappropriate things. He shook his head to clear it, and let her words sink in.

“Are you serious? What has he done?”

Casey looked at him with eyes wide with fear, and he regretted his harsh tone. “I’m sorry for sounding like I’m mad. I’m not. I’m scared for you. What did he do?”

“He took a picture from my wedding. Apparently, all the stuff I’ve been missing is him, too. He messed up my bed, I think he’s been sleeping there when I’m not there. God…” Her eyes widened further. “What if he’s been sleeping there while I
am
there?” She was trembling, and Brent pulled her into his body, smoothing her hair and breathing in her smell. He couldn’t help himself.

“What did the police say? How’s he getting in?” He had so many questions to ask, but he knew she wouldn’t be able to handle them. She looked so fragile right now, and it wasn’t something he was accustomed to seeing in his Casey. She was strong. She was a fighter. She was a fucking sweetheart. And Kevin was scaring her.

He would kill him.

“I left my window unlocked. That’s how Officer Sanchez thinks he got in.”

“In your bedroom?” She nodded against his chest, and his face paled with realization. Her panties that she’d been looking for that last time he was over there. “You think he went through you underwear? Those panties you were missing?”

Brent couldn’t control the rage that swept through his body when she nodded. That asshole was pawing through her most intimate possessions, touching things that lay against her tits, her ass, her wet heat. He was touching and doing god knows what to the intimate pieces of silk and satin that Casey prided herself in teasing him mercilessly with.

Brent was hot, his blood was boiling, and he needed to throw something, punch something, ride his horse fast, shoot somebody, anything to relieve the fury inside.

He didn’t do any of those things. Instead he held Casey while she broke down in his arms. He held her and let her breathe deep shuddering breaths. She wasn’t crying, which Brent admired. He was close enough to crazed tears for the both of them.

“This last week has been so unreal for me. It’s like I’m sleepwalking, Brent. It’s all just some weird dream to me. This can’t be real.”

He didn’t know exactly what she was referring to: their fight, her stalker, or him. He held both of his hands against her face, turning it up to look at him.

“Casey. I’m real. We’re real.” He used one hand to point between both of them. “This is real.” He kissed her softly. Holding back all the desire he felt for her, he managed a relatively chaste kiss, hoping to impart a feeling of safety and comfort to her. When he was finished, she sighed and put her head back on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, relishing the feel of her softness against his body.

“Are you still mad at me?”

“I don’t know anymore.” She sighed in resignation, and he felt a flutter of hope. “I want to be, but I know that you’re not my dad. You would never do anything to hurt me.”

“Never. I would never hurt you, Case.” He squeezed her for emphasis.

“Why did you leave me? That day, before you got hurt? You said you needed to think about some things.” Her voice was accusing him, and he realized how many times he’d already hurt her. He took a deep breath and decided to put it all out there. His insecurities were hard to talk about, but seeing the sadness in her eyes broke his heart. And he’d put it there. It was time to man up and tell her what he’d been thinking.

“You had been talking about how you’d fallen in love with the idealized dream of your life with your ex.” He still couldn’t bring himself to say the man’s name. It was as if saying it would give the bastard more validity in his own mind or something. “I was afraid you’d fallen in love with an idealized version of me, too. The last thing I ever meant to do was hurt you. But this week without you has been hell.”

Casey closed her eyes, and Brent knew it was a protective measure. She didn’t want him to see what was going on behind them, and it scared him. He watched her as she continued. “I don’t know how much of us is remnants of some grade school infatuation, or if it’s real. I can’t tell if I’m enjoying you for the fantastic sex or because I’m in love with you and always have been. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice and get myself into a situation because I’m in love with the idea of something.”

“That’s bullshit, Casey and you know it.” His hope withered with each word she spoke. Dwindling into something that made his chest ache, and it wasn’t because of his ribs. His finger came out and pointed at Casey’s chest. “What we have is way more than sex. I’ve had some pretty great sex in my lifetime, and nothing…Nothing compares to what we have.” His finger started pointing at her, jabbing at her chest, chasing her off the bed. To his annoyance, her mouth quirked up into a smile at him. “What we have is because it’s us, Casey. You and me.”

“Put that thing away, unless you intend to use it.” She was grinning at him widely now, and he was trying not to get mad at her.

“Are you laughing at me?”

“A little.”

“Why?” He was flabbergasted. Just a minute ago, she’d been declaring their relationship questionable at best, and now she was laughing at him?

“You still do the pokey thing. It’s cute.”

He looked at his finger, realizing that the smile on her face was a genuine response. She wasn’t mad at him, even though the pokey finger hadn’t been out much in years. It had been so long since he’d felt so much of anything that he hadn’t had a cause to use it. A deep relief washed over him.

He couldn’t breathe, and it wasn’t because of his ribs, for once. “Can I kiss you?”

She nodded as he felt a triumphant smile creep across his face.

Brent crashed his mouth against hers. It was a fast kiss that he wanted to deepen with every atom of his body, but somehow, he held back. Breathless, he scooted back to his side of the bed before he pulled her down under him. “I will do whatever it takes to make us right again, Case.”