My Mother's Secret (45 page)

‘The kitchen’s at the back of the building, isn’t it?’ said Alivia.

Jenny’s eyes met her niece’s in a flash of understanding. ‘I didn’t think there was anything in that.’

‘Neither did I,’ said Alivia. ‘She said there wasn’t.’

‘In what?’ asked Roisin.

‘The chef,’ Alivia said. ‘She slept with the chef.’

‘Liam Kinsella!’ Roisin was shocked. ‘I know she stayed with him when she ran away the last time, but she never said … She couldn’t have … I don’t believe it.’

‘She said it was probably a one-off.’ Alivia was studying the footprints. ‘These aren’t Steffie’s, but they’re the only ones going anywhere.’

‘We need to check them out,’ said Jenny.

They followed the prints, which led to a closed door at the back of the restaurant.

Jenny moved ahead of the others and grasped the handle. Then she took a deep breath and opened the door.

Steffie had been standing beneath the silver fir tree when she felt someone’s hand on her shoulder. She jumped with fright and gave a small scream.

‘Hey Steffie, don’t yell. It’s me.’

She turned to see Liam Kinsella standing in front of her. He’d changed out of his chef’s whites and was wearing jeans, a checked cotton shirt and a pair of Timberland boots, which were far better suited to the snowy conditions than her high heels. His dark hair was tousled, as though he’d pulled the shirt over his head without bothering to undo the buttons. His expression was friendly but concerned.

‘What on earth are you doing out here?’ he asked. ‘Are you OK?’

‘Of course I’m OK,’ she said, her voice still sharp because of the fright. ‘You shouldn’t creep up on people like that.’

‘I didn’t mean to creep,’ he said. ‘I thought you’d hear me.’

Snow muffles sound as well as feelings, she thought. And it was true: the music from the restaurant was muted, absorbed by the white blanket around them. But still, he could have been anyone creeping about in the dark. She said so.

He laughed. ‘Fortunately I’m not just anyone,’ he said. ‘Why on earth are you out here?’

‘Why are you?’

‘I like to walk outside after I’ve finished work,’ he said. ‘And then I saw you. A snow princess beneath the tree.’

She smiled. ‘Hardly.’

‘A snow princess with icy-cold feet, I bet.’ He looked at her elegant shoes.

‘Slightly,’ she admitted.

‘Want to come back inside and warm them up?’

‘I don’t want to return to the party yet,’ she said. ‘I came out to be on my own for a bit.’

‘I understand.’ He nodded. ‘But there’s no need to freeze your buns off. You can warm up in the office while the staff finish up in the kitchen.’

‘I …’

‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Allow me.’ And once again, Liam Kinsella lifted her into his arms.

‘I don’t need to be carried,’ she told him.

‘I can’t let my little snow princess freeze to death.’ There was amusement in his voice. ‘Nearly there now anyway.’

She leaned her head against his shoulder as he climbed the steps to the wooden door and opened it. Once they were inside, he allowed her to slide from his arms.

‘Thank you.’

‘And now my snow princess is melting,’ he said as the snow that had stuck to her hair began to form tiny pools on the tiled floor.

‘Sorry.’

‘Don’t be. You were lovely out there,’ he said. ‘And you look lovely in here too.’

She blushed. She’d enjoyed being carried by him and was enjoying his compliments too. But she was also remembering that she’d slept with him and he’d walked away.

‘Thanks for agreeing to my parents … to Pascal and Jenny having their reception here. Roisin told me it’s the first time you’ve ever done that.’

‘I felt a certain proprietorial interest in it,’ said Liam equably. ‘And it doesn’t hurt for me to do special events from time to time. It’s good money for the staff, too.’

‘Maybe you should do more of them,’ suggested Steffie. ‘Themed nights could be fun. Or black-tie evenings.’

‘I hadn’t actually thought of that,’ said Liam. ‘A couple of minutes in your company and I’ve got new ideas already.’

‘I didn’t think you were interested in my ideas,’ she said. ‘Not that you have to be, of course, but you didn’t get in touch to say you were going to go ahead with it with someone else.’

‘I loved the design,’ he told her. ‘But I didn’t want anyone else to work on it, and you were too busy with your trip to Singapore. How amazing was that, though!’

‘It was only for ten days,’ she said. ‘But yes, imagine me as an international businesswoman! It was brilliant.’

‘I’m so pleased for you,’ said Liam. ‘You work hard. You deserve success.’

‘Thank you. And thank you for everything you did for me before.’

‘You’re welcome.’

I slept with you, she thought during the silence that followed. I made love to you three times in twenty-four hours. I was wild and wanton and abandoned with you. And I told myself that it was great fun but a one-off thing because that was how you seemed to want to play it. Especially after meeting Steve. But it was so wonderful being in your arms just now. And I want to sleep with you again. Not only because of how much fun it was before, but because I feel connected to you. I wish you felt connected to me.

‘D’you think we can set up a business meeting?’ Liam had put a pod into the coffee machine on the sideboard beside his desk and switched it on. ‘So that we can get things moving with that design of yours? I love the line of aprons to click on the website.’

‘They were a fun idea really. I wasn’t sure they’d be appropriate, because you’re a high-end restaurant and I was afraid you were thinking something a little more formal.’

‘We try to do the best food possible,’ said Liam. ‘Doesn’t mean we don’t want to have fun with it. Besides, I don’t want my customers to feel intimidated by us.’

He handed her a mug topped with froth. ‘Hot chocolate,’ he said. ‘To warm you up.’

‘Thank you.’ She took the mug from him and sipped. ‘It’s very good.’

‘I can make a better one from scratch,’ he told her. ‘But on the basis that your lips were blue with the cold, I thought I’d better go for speed over speciality.’

She smiled.

‘And that’s nice,’ he said. ‘Seeing you smile. Seeing some colour in your cheeks.’

‘It was a bit mad to go outside,’ she admitted. ‘Seemed like a good idea at the time, though.’

‘I’m remembering the last time I carried you,’ said Liam.

‘Another rescue,’ she said.

‘Rescuing you might be going a little far,’ said Liam. ‘You turned up on my doorstep, after all.’

‘You rescued me,’ she said, ‘because you made me stop thinking of myself and my problems, although to be honest, I’ve still been horribly self-absorbed.’

‘You’re being hard on yourself.’ His voice was warm and comforting. ‘You’d had a shock. And I’m sure it’s still difficult for you.’

‘I keep saying that to myself. That’s it’s been hard. That I need time.’ She put the mug on the desk. ‘And it has been very … unsettling. But I can’t stay unsettled for ever, can I?’

‘I told you before, Steffie. You’re still you. You’re still the same person you always were.’

‘I thought that perhaps I should go looking for him,’ she said. ‘My biological father.’

Liam nodded slowly.

‘But I don’t want to.’

‘That’s your choice.’

‘But still. You hear so much about people having this need to seek out their real parents. So I thought there was something wrong with me that I didn’t feel that way.’

‘Pascal and Jenny are the sort of people who’d support you no matter what.’

She sighed. ‘I’d been going through a time when I was feeling guilty about all the financial support they were giving me. Living in the house. Always there if I needed them. And I thought maybe that it was because they felt guilty. That they were trying to make it up to themselves.’

‘Oh.’

‘And I don’t know how I should be now,’ she said. ‘Sometimes I want to hug them and tell them how much I love them and appreciate every single thing they’ve done for me, and sometimes I want to scream at them for keeping secrets from me. I guess I’m totally conflicted.’

‘In which case, today must have been difficult for you.’

‘I’m happy for them and I want to say that to them, but I don’t want them to think that everything’s OK,’ she confessed. ‘I’m a horrible person really.’

‘No you’re not,’ he said. ‘You never were. You never could be.’

‘You thought I was.’ She had to say it. She couldn’t not. ‘You walked away from me because of Steve.’

‘And I’m not exactly proud of myself over that,’ said Liam. ‘I keep going over and over that day in my head. How I reacted when he came into the house with you. All proprietorial and marking his territory. I got a bit stroppy, to be honest. The thing is, I’m not someone who’s good at muscling in. I never was.’

‘You didn’t have to muscle in,’ she told him. ‘He was already on the way out.’

‘Because of me?’ He looked at her sceptically.

‘Actually, no,’ she confessed. ‘Because I’d worked out he wasn’t the one. Admittedly only a few hours earlier, at the party, but still, in my head it was over and it was nothing to do with you. But that’s why I didn’t mind getting down and dirty with you, Liam Kinsella. As far as I was concerned, I’d already left Steve. If I’d been in love with him, I certainly wouldn’t have jumped into bed so eagerly – and so often – with you!’

‘I was a little bit of a spoiled child about it,’ said Liam. ‘He was so much the boyfriend, I felt … oh look, I thought I was the proverbial notch on your bedpost.’

‘You’re joking, right?’ she said. ‘It’s girls who usually have those sort of thoughts. Men are proud of their bedposts, aren’t they?’

‘We do like to boast,’ agreed Liam. ‘But at the same time we can be as insecure as women. Why would you think otherwise?’

‘I don’t know.’ She spoke slowly. ‘I guess it’s because you always seem to be the ones in charge.’

‘Maybe some men are,’ agreed Liam. ‘But Steffie, I’m used to being the last man picked for things. Remember? And just in case you’re thinking I’m a bunch of neuroses and stuff, I’m pretty OK with my life. Except I struggle with the relationship thing sometimes. With what I’m supposed to do and how I’m supposed to do it.’

‘You didn’t struggle with it very much when I was here before,’ Steffie pointed out. ‘In fact, if I remember correctly, you knew exactly what you were doing.’

‘I did, didn’t I?’ He grinned. ‘And …’

‘And?’

‘How about I do it again?’ he suggested as he put his arms around her.

‘Oh!’ exclaimed Jenny.

Behind her, Alivia, Colette and Roisin’s mouths had also formed circles of surprise as they looked at Steffie and Liam, locked in their kiss.

‘Hello, Mrs Sheehan.’ Liam raised his head. ‘Is there a problem with something?’

‘I … um … no.’ Jenny’s hands were at her cheeks. ‘I’m … sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in here.’

‘But you did.’ Steffie, who’d been shocked into complete silence when she saw her mother, followed by her sister and cousins, found her voice again. ‘What on earth d’you think you’re doing?’

‘We noticed you were missing, Steff.’ Alivia’s voice bubbled with amusement. ‘We saw footsteps in the snow. We thought you’d been abducted.’

‘Abducted!’ Steffie stared at her. ‘That’s the lamest thing I ever heard.’

‘It’s true, though,’ said Roisin. ‘I’m sorry, Steffie. We were worried about you.’

‘You thought I’d kidnapped her and brought her back to my office to do what with her?’ asked Liam.

Four pairs of female eyes looked at him.

‘We couldn’t know it was you,’ said Roisin. ‘We thought … we were afraid …’

‘I did indeed meet Steffie outside, although not by prior arrangement.’ There was a hint of laughter in Liam’s voice. ‘And then I suggested she’d be better off in the warmth than in the snow.’

‘Well look, Steffie, as you’re obviously OK, I’ll leave you to it.’ Jenny wondered if there were any more ways in which she could embarrass her daughter and make her hate her. Because so far, she thought, I’m managing to do a great job.

‘You can use that door, Mrs Sheehan.’ Liam pointed behind him. ‘It leads directly to the dining room.’

‘Thank you,’ said Jenny.

‘Thanks, Liam,’ chorused the other three.

They followed Jenny out of the office.

Steffie and Liam were left alone. They looked at each other wordlessly for a moment.

And then they began to laugh.

Chapter 41

Back among the crowd of revellers, Jenny sought out Pascal and told him what had happened. Her husband’s mouth twitched and she gave him a stern look.

‘It’s not funny,’ she said. ‘If we’d walked in a few seconds later, God knows what would’ve been going on.’

‘They were only kissing, weren’t they?’

‘Yes, but …’ Jenny sighed. ‘It’s like everything I do regarding Steffie turns to dust. Things were bad enough before, but she’s never going to forgive me now.’

‘You’re overdramatising,’ said Pascal. ‘The good news is that she seems to be getting it together with Liam Kinsella, who’s one of the nicest men I know. He looked after her when she was out in the storm and he looked after her tonight too. He obviously has some kind of feelings for her and she could do a lot worse than have a relationship with someone whose accomplishments in the kitchen exceed beans on toast.’

Jenny smiled weakly. ‘You always look on the positive side.’

‘What’s not to be positive about?’ asked Pascal. ‘She’s finding happiness, Jen.’

‘Or else this is some kind of fling and he’ll break her heart and—’

‘And that’s what happens in life,’ Pascal interrupted her. ‘We kept things hidden from our kids partly for our own sake, but then because we thought it would be easier to wait till they were older – and in the end that was a complete disaster. She’s had a lot to deal with. Whether it’s a fling or something else with Liam Kinsella, it’ll do her good. Although,’ he added, his tone suddenly grim, ‘if he breaks her heart, I’ll break his bloody neck.’

‘I was beyond mortified,’ Roisin said to Davey, who she’d been telling about the encounter.

Davey roared with laughter. ‘I can’t believe you went looking for her in the snow,’ he said.