My Name Is Chloe (18 page)

My parents said I didn’t have to go to school today, but for some reason I thought I should. To stay home seemed to admit my guilt. Not that I’m not guilty—I know what I did was wrong. But I also know that I’m not the only one at fault here. I just wish (and have been praying) that the whole truth could be brought to light.

During second period I was called into Mrs. King’s office again. I walked through the deserted halls thinking, okay, here it comes. The police are probably down there right now, waiting to cuff me up and take me downtown. I know it was a stupid thought (not to mention slightly paranoid), but I guess I was ready for anything. I felt like that scene from
Dead Man Walking
, and with each step I prayed. Amazingly, by the time I reached the office, I felt a strange sense of peace. Like, okay God, You just go ahead and do whatever You like. I can handle it now.

“Here I am,” I called into Mrs. King’s office.

She was on the phone, but waved me in and motioned for me to sit.

She hung up the phone and turned around and smiled. “Good news, Chloe.”

“Really?” I sat up straight. “What?”

“Do you know Marty Ruez?”

“I don’t exactly know her, but I know who she is.”

She nodded. “Well, she came forward yesterday.”

“Came forward?”

“As a witness.”

“A witness to what?”

“The altercation between you and Tiffany and Kerry.”

“But she wasn’t even—”

“She said she was hiding around the corner. She said she does that a lot. She ducks into the alcove behind Mr. Thompson’s office and hides until Tiffany and her friends leave the choir room and head to lunch. It’s her way to avoid the teasing that often takes place if she’s walking in front of them.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve seen them do that.”

“Anyway, she heard the whole thing. And she wrote it all out as an affidavit for you.”

“You’re kidding? She did that for me?”

“Yes, and it matches almost word for word with what you told me. Not only that, but Laura told me about the incident in the bathroom earlier this year. It also matches what you said.”

I sighed. “So what happens now?”

“Well, the school would really like to see this thing settled quietly and out of court. We don’t need that kind of publicity. We’d like to get Kerry to drop her charges. If necessary we can gather all the parties together and go over these new findings and put some pressure on her.”

“Did you give her my letter?”

“I gave it to her yesterday.”

“Good. I really am sorry I hit her and about her nose and everything. And I’m trying really hard not to be mad at her and Tiffany. I don’t want to hate them.”

“You don’t?”

“No, I know that God wants me to love everyone—even my enemies.” I made a face. “But it’s sure not easy.”

“You’re an amazing girl, Chloe. I would think that you’d really have it out for those two by now.”

“If it wasn’t for God, I would. Honestly, when they attacked me last fall I actually considered doing something drastic to get back at them. But that was before I invited Jesus into my heart.”

“So, you’re a Christian then?”

I smiled. “Yeah. It’s made a huge difference.”

“I can see that.”

So I walked back to composition class feeling like a load of rocks had been lifted from my back. And with each step, I thanked God. I took a few
minutes to call my parents about this new development, and afterward, I told Allie and Laura. Then right before choir, I walked up to Marty Ruez and thanked her. I could tell she was uncomfortable with this attention, and it occurred to me that she might not want Kerry and Tiffany to know that she was the one who had told, since they could make her life miserable.

Toward the end of fifth period I was summoned to Mrs. King’s office again. This time, Kerry was there too. It was the first time I’d seen her up close with her bandaged nose, and I could see now that her eyes were also blackened. Man, I must’ve really walloped her good.

“I’m sorry, Kerry,” I said as soon as I saw her.

She nodded. “It’s okay. I guess I was asking for it.”

“Why don’t you both sit down,” said Mrs. King. Then she turned toward me. “Kerry and I have been talking this whole thing through, and she’s willing to drop all charges.”

Kerry looked down at the floor. “I didn’t really want to press charges in the first place. It was Tiffany’s idea, and then she got my parents all worked up and, well, it just sort of mushroomed.”

Mrs. King nodded. “I told Kerry about the witnesses who had already prepared affidavits and were willing to testify against her.”

I looked at Kerry. “Did you read my letter?”

“Yeah,” she said without looking up. “Thanks.”

The office was silent for a moment then Mrs. King cleared her throat. “Uh, Kerry, was there something you wanted to say to Chloe?”

Kerry looked up. “Yeah.”

I waited.

“Well, it was wrong for me and Tiffany to pick on you.” She slowly shook her head. “I don’t even know how that whole thing got started in the first place. I guess I was afraid Tiffany would quit being my friend if I didn’t go along with her. She can turn on people really quickly, you know. And, well, it doesn’t matter now anyway since she’s not going to be my friend anymore.”

“I know it’s probably wrong to say this, Kerry,” I said, “but I think you’d be a whole lot better off without her.”

She looked down again. “Yeah, maybe.”

“I plan to speak to Tiffany this afternoon,” said Mrs. King. “This incident will also go on her record.”

“So what happens now?” I asked. “I mean, with the police and everything?”

“Kerry and her family will have to straighten that up. And you’ll want them to talk to your attorney, Chloe.”

“And what about here at school?” I asked. “Mr. Thompson probably still thinks I instigated the whole thing.”

“I’m going to insist that Tiffany and Kerry tell him the truth,” said Mrs. King. “That you were defending yourself. And, don’t worry; I’ll follow it up too.”

“So, is this it then?”

She smiled. “Pretty much. I just hope you girls learned something through all this.”

Kerry nodded sadly. And I said, “I think so, but I’m still processing everything.”

And even tonight I feel as though I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what happened during the past three days. I mean, it’s like one moment everything is going just fine—couldn’t be better—then the next moment your whole world is caving in on top of you. But I guess life is just like that. Whether you have God in your life or not, stuff is going to happen. The difference is in how you handle it when it does. If you’re trusting in God and asking Him for help, things turn out better. At least that’s how it seems to me. Because I’m thinking if this whole thing had happened before I asked God into my life, well, I’m sure I could’ve been in all kinds of trouble. Maybe I would be in jail right now; I don’t know.

My dad is still pretty mad about the whole thing and keeps saying he wants Mr. Collier to sue both those girls for slander and assault and who knows what else. But I keep telling him to just chill. Still, he says he’s going to make them
pay for our legal costs (which can’t be much since Mr. Collier only spent an hour or so with us). I told my dad he should just forgive and forget, and he laughed and said, “Now, don’t go taking this religion thing too far, Chloe.” So I thought I’d better leave it at that for now. No sense beating him over the head with it.

I played at the Paradiso again tonight—to a full house. A lot of kids from school were there including Torrey and Cortney, and to my surprise even Kerry showed up. Not with Tiffany, of course, since those two are sworn enemies these days (or so I’ve heard). But Kerry was with her new boyfriend and seemed happy. She and I actually have a casual talking relationship now. It’s weird how things can change so quickly. And, of course, my friends were there sitting at one of the front tables and cheering and jeering me on. Also, Mr. Thompson was there with his wife. That was kinda cool. He came up afterward and shook my hand and told me that it was a great performance.

So it sort of feels as if life is returning to normal—if there is such a thing, and I like to think there isn’t. Because what is normal anyway? To me the word is the same as boring. And who wants that? Still, I don’t mind having a little less chaos these days. Life with God can be exciting enough without the threat of lawsuits and jail hanging over your head.

Speaking of exciting I’m involved in
five
different musical performances this month. Two are related to choir, two with the coffeehouse, and one with church. Pretty cool! And I’m saving up
my money toward the possibility of cutting a CD. But I’m still not sure if I should go solo on it or do it with our “band.” Although we’re not calling ourselves an official band yet. And we still don’t have a name. I’m praying that God will make it clear—and that He’ll open the doors as needed.

Pastor Tony was talking about how God can either open or close doors for us. And we need to remember that just because a door gets closed, we shouldn’t get discouraged because it might be saving us from something that wouldn’t be good for us. But he also said that just because a door is wide open doesn’t mean we should walk right through it.

I kind of struggle with that because when I see an open door (especially one that looks inviting) I want to just walk right in and make myself at home. But Tony said that we need a whole set of checks and balances like reading God’s Word and listening to good advice, and we need to make sure all these things line up and point in the same direction. And I suppose that makes sense, although I do like the idea of just walking right through an open door. Still, who knows what might lurk ahead even when something looks good? So I’m praying that God will help me to be wise.

Totally cool night. Unforgettable even. We had a candlelit Christmas concert at the church. And it was beautiful.

But first let me share the big news. We are officially a band now. I know this is going to sound weird, but I had a dream last week—a really vivid dream—and we three girls were playing
on a big stage with lights and a huge sound system and what seemed like
thousands
of people in the audience. It was so awesome. And our band had a name: Redemption.

Well, when I woke up it seemed so real—it felt as though God had given me the dream, and I was so excited I couldn’t even go back to sleep. So the next day I told Laura and Allie about it. I was all prepared for them to roll their eyes and call me a nutcase and basically just hate the idea altogether. But they both got real quiet then almost simultaneously shouted, “That’s it!” So anyway, we knew we had this church gig coming up in just a few days, and we decided to make the big announcement then.

So tonight I introduced us by saying, “My name is Chloe and these are my friends Laura and Allie, and we have just officially become a band.” The audience clapped politely. “And for the first time anywhere we are announcing our official band name. It’s Redemption.” And then the audience clapped even louder. We played our first song and the audience clapped with real enthusiasm, and they seemed to like our other songs too.

And so Redemption is officially launched today. We’re even going to check into registering our name with a trademark or something, if it’s not too expensive. I’ll talk to Mr. Collier about this. Also, I’ve decided that if I save up enough
money to cut a CD, I’ll do it with the band, not solo. It just seems right.

An amazing thing has happened in our family. My brother Josh has (sort of …) become engaged. To Caitlin, of course! Well, they don’t exactly call it an engagement. I think Josh said it’s a covenant, but it sounds like an engagement to me. He even gave her a ring. Now my parents like Caitlin a lot, but I don’t think they were overly thrilled with the whole thing. In fact, I think my dad’s just trying to blow the whole thing off, as if it’s nothing more serious than going steady. But, knowing Josh and Caitlin, I think it’s more serious than that.

And like I’ve said before, it’s plain to see those two are in love. At least it’s plain to me. Although I think they’re a little young (I personally
wouldn’t want to get married until I was at least twenty-five!), I do think it’s pretty cool. I would love to have Caitlin as my sister-in-law. She already seems like a sister to me. So, I told them I thought it was great.

I really admire them too. They’ve both made this commitment to God to keep their relationship “pure.” That’s what Josh calls it. They’ve both promised to abstain from sex until they’re actually married. I think that’s a bit unusual these days. But maybe it makes sense when you think of how people get hurt in relationships all the time, and I’m guessing sex usually has a lot to do with it.

I know how it was with me just about a year ago when a certain boyfriend was pressuring me. And that whole thing ended up in such a mess—and I got deeply hurt. All because I wouldn’t go along with him. And I suppose, in some ways, that was when things started changing for me. I pulled away from my friends (since they were all gossiping about me) and more into myself. I started dressing and acting differently—maybe just to rebel against the norm. I’m still not totally sure. And it’s not as if I’m saying that everything that came out of that era was completely bad or good; it was just different, change, transition. In fact, looking back now, I think God actually used that whole sequence of events to start bringing me to Him.