My Name Is River Blue (23 page)

"Sure, I
did. I think when you get to high school next year that you should go out for
drama club."

Carlee giggled and
inched closer to me. I draped my arm around her, and there was a pause in our
conversation until I broke the silence.

"I'm a
foundling." I'm not sure why I said it. I had never just blurted it out to
anyone.

"A
foundling?"

"Yeah,"
I continued. "When I was three days old, my mother left me in the
pediatric waiting room of the hospital. She stuck a nametag to my blanket with
'River Blue' on it, and that's all I know about my parents."

"Really? I've
heard of that happening, but I never knew anyone personally. So you have no
idea about your family background." Carlee looked away for a moment as if
she were considering what I told her. "I can't imagine knowing nothing
about my family."

"No one can
unless it's another foundling. I don't ever talk about it much, but I think
about my parents every day. I want to know why they deserted me. I'm always
wondering if I'll ever meet them, or if I'll at least find out who they
are."

Carlee was curious
about my name, as most people usually were. I had heard it a thousand times.
"You have a pretty name. I wonder how your mother came up with it."

"I have no
idea. I doubt that 'Blue' is the name of either of my parents because I don't
think that my mother would have left a real name for the cops to trace. There
are some people with that last name in the state, but I think 'River Blue' was
just based on something she liked that had some special meaning to her."

Carlee raised
her face to mine, and gently kissed my lips. I hesitated before pulling her
closer to me and returning the kiss. I had never kissed a girl, but somehow I
knew to part her lips with my tongue, and she accepted me, responding passionately.
I had dreamed many times of a similar scene with Carlee, but I had never
imagined the intensity of the feelings that burned through us like a windblown
fire sweeping through a dry forest.

Our kisses
became urgent, and our hands aggressively explored each other. My heart raced,
and my breathing turned ragged as if I were sprinting a forty that never
stopped. I heard a noise that was probably just a squirrel, but it was enough
to break the spell and allow my common sense to return. I was afraid that
someone would find us with Carlee's hand moving inside my swim trunks and my
hand groping under her top.

I told her we
had to stop, but she ignored me. Her face was flushed, her eyes were glazed,
and her warm body writhed against me as if she were trying to crawl inside my
skin. I was nervously glancing around us and trying to pull her hands away when
it hit me. I thought I might black out, and I had to fight to catch enough
breath to speak to her.

"Carlee, we
have to stop. Someone will see, and we'll get in trouble." What I really
thought was that
I
would get in trouble, not her. In my head, I saw a
cop throw me in the back of his police cruiser that would take me back to
Stockwell. "Please, Carlee." She finally heard the panic in my voice.

"It's okay.
No one can see us out here," Carlee whispered against my neck.

I gained control
and gently moved Carlee a respectable distance away from me. I held her arms
still and spoke softly and calmly. "I like you a lot. So much that it
scares me, but we have to stop. Someone catching us is just part of it. We're
too young."

"I like you
a lot too. You're the only boy I've dreamed of being with like this."

She was still
looking at me as if she could eat me. Where did I hear that girls always played
hard to get? Who said a boy had to work hard just to tag second base? Carlee
showed me that I was woefully uneducated about girls.

"Yeah, I
dreamed of you too, but the thing is, we could make a mistake that would ruin
our lives. Your parents would freak if they knew you even held hands with a boy
like me. I'm on parole, and they could accuse me of doing stuff that would send
me back to Stockwell."

"Okay, I
don't want to make you nervous," said Carlee. "I thought as big as
you are that you were more mature than the other boys." She sounded
disappointed.

"We're too
young to get crazy and make a bad mistake just because we're physically mature
enough. Who knows? Maybe my parents were young. Maybe they lost control and went
too far."

Carlee sat up
straight, leaving one hand in mine as the only contact between us. "You're
pretty close with Papa Ray, aren't you?" Carlee asked.

I was confused about
the abrupt change in subject. "Yeah, Ant and me both. He's good to us."

"He's
always good to foster kids."

Carlee surprised
me. "You know him that well?"

"Everyone
in the county knows Papa. My father has known him since high school. My mother
was a few grades behind him, but she knows him from taking riding lessons at
his farm. She also knew Lisa, the girl he was going to marry."

"I guess I
never thought how connected people could be in a small town."

"You know
Lisa died before they married, right?"

"Yeah. He
told me that he loved a girl who died."

Carlee nodded. "Some
kind of cancer. She went very fast. You know she's the reason Papa has a soft
spot for foster kids, don't you?"

"No. I
didn't. Lisa was a foster kid?"

"Yeah. I
heard she grew up mostly in the girls' home."

The new
information from Carlee was like the sun breaking from behind dark clouds and
throwing a new light on Papa. It made sense to me why he gave so much of
himself to me and other state kids, and why he didn't want me to exclude Ant from
our time in the park when Ant first arrived at Tolley House. Lisa had obviously
shared a lot with Papa, and he was empathetic with kids like us because of her.
His relationship with Lisa was why he understood me better than other adults
did.

"River, are
you okay? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, Carlee.
I'm just never comfortable asking too many personal questions, so I didn't know
much about Lisa. I'm sure Papa would have told me more about her if I had asked
him."

"Yeah, I'm
sure he would have. At least you know that he really does care about you and
Ant. He has a big heart for all kids, but foster kids are special to him."

"Yeah. I
learn more every day about what a great guy he is." I thought of how nasty
I was to Papa when we first met, and I wasn't very proud of it.

"You go out
to his farm a lot?"

"Yeah, once
a week at least. Ant and I have stayed overnight a few times. Why?"

"Because
I'm thinking of taking riding lessons like my mother did. It would be a good
way for me to see you without my parents around to make you nervous. You can't
tell anyone, but I got the idea from Mom because she took lessons when she was
young to see a boy who worked there. Her parents didn't approve of him because
he was a Mexican farm worker."

I grinned at the
conniving girl. "Okay, Carlee, I see the plan. Your mom was sneaky and now
it's your turn. You know, I really
do
want to be with you, but I don't
want either of us to do anything that we'll regret."

"Since you
don't want trouble, we better walk back before my mother misses me."

"Good
idea."

"Oh, River.
You were just messing with Marcy about choking that girl. Right?"

I laughed.
"Right."

I stood,
followed by Carlee, who stretched upwards on her toes to kiss me once more. Before
we walked back to rejoin the party, we checked each other to make sure that
there were no signs of us doing anything but walking. She cleaned a smear of
lipstick from my cheek and pronounced me suitable to return. I was glad that
the only other issue I had didn't show. Yes, I caught the pun as soon as I
wrote it.

As we strolled back
through the gardens, I was nervous, but I decided that it was worth my anxiety
to share a new experience with a Carlee. I wanted to spend more time with her, but
I hoped that she would be satisfied with taking things slowly. I didn't want to
be part of creating a mistake like me, and I didn't want her father accusing me
of something that would send me back to Stockwell. I had already learned with
the Paulsons that I would lose a fight against a lie backed with money or
political favors.

As Carlee and I
approached the pool and recreation area, the gate swung open, and we came face
to face with Beth Summers. I had previously only seen the woman from a distance
when I was swimming in their pool. Standing there at the gate with Mrs. Summers
only a few feet away, I could see how much Carlee resembled her pretty mother. They
had the same blond hair, flawless complexion, and attractive figure that would
make any guy stare. Mrs. Summers wore a simple, pale blue sundress similar to
Carlee's dress. Carlee and her mother had no need for heavy makeup, overly
fancy clothes, or too much jewelry. With their natural beauty, it was better
for them to go as simple as possible.

"Well,
there you are, dear," said Mrs. Summers. "I was wondering where you
were."

"Mom, this
is Max's friend, River Blue," said Carlee. She was anxious to give her
mother the cover story of how Max invited me to the party. "He's new to
our school. He'll be playing football with Max, so Max thought it would be a
good idea for him to meet more of the kids in our grade. I was just showing him
some of the property."

I worried that
Carlee had volunteered too much information, but Mrs. Summers was pleasant. "Good
to meet you, River. I hope you're enjoying the party."

"Yes,
ma'am, I am, and it's nice to meet you too. Your home is awesome," I said.
The woman acted too pleasant to have seen what Carlee and I were doing, but the
way she raked her eyes up and down me, lessened my confidence. I began to sweat
and worry that she was suspicious of Carlee walking alone with me.

Mrs. Summers
didn't help my nerves when I saw something change in her expression. She stared
directly into my eyes as if she would begin interrogating me at any moment. I
saw that Carlee also noticed the sudden change that made both of us uncomfortable.

The woman spoke
before I fainted from holding my breath. "River, is it possible that I met
you or perhaps met your parents somewhere? You look so familiar, but I can't
place you."

"I'm a
foster kid, and I never knew my parents. I guess you could have seen me if you
picked up Carlee at cheer practice. The football team and the cheerleaders
practice near each other."

Mrs. Summers wrinkled
her forehead as if she were straining to remember something that just wouldn't
come to her, but she eventually relaxed. "I think you're right, dear. I
believe I did see you with Max and the other boys." With a nice laugh, she
made fun of herself. "River, don't ever get old, or you'll be like me and
can't remember what you did yesterday."

"Everyone
does that, Mrs. Summers, not just older people, and besides, you aren't old enough
for a bad memory. You don't even look old enough to be Carlee's mother, but I
believe you are because I can see why she's so pretty."

Mrs. Summers' laugh
was still young and almost musical. Carlee's expression told me that she was amused
at the way I spoke to her mother, but I meant every word. Carlee and her mother
were goddesses to me.

"Well,
aren't you sweet, River," said Mrs. Summers. "Thank you. I know you
two want to get back to your friends. It was very nice meeting you, River. Tell
Max to bring you again the next time he and Carlee have a party, and knowing
the excuses they use, it won't be long."

For the rest of
the party, I saw much more of Mrs. Summers, and frequently when I saw her, she
met my gaze and smiled warmly. I was glad that I must have made a good
impression, and I hoped that she would mention something to Papa, so he would
know that I was using good manners and getting along with people.

The last time I
saw Mrs. Summers that day was when I was crawling out of the pool to dry off
and change clothes before Ant and I left with Papa. As I was drying my hair, I
noticed Mrs. Summers staring at me, and it took me only seconds to understand
that she was focused on my birthmark. Realizing that she was behaving rudely,
she walked straight to me to apologize.

"Please
forgive me, River. I was trying to remember something, and I spaced out when I
was looking your way."

"Oh, you're
fine, Mrs. Summers. I thought that maybe you saw my birth mark. People always
tell me it resembles the state of Florida."

"That is so
rude of them. You must get tired of the same old stares and questions, so I
won't tell you that it looks like Florida, but I
will
tell you that I
think it's a very distinctive and attractive mark on a very handsome young
man."

"Oh, wow.
Thank you, ma'am." If she had been younger, I would have thought that she
was flirting with me, and if I had been older, I would have
known
she
was.

"I've heard
it's possible for some kinds of birth marks to run in families." Mrs.
Summers acted as if she expected me to confirm or deny the possibility.