My Name Is Rose
Authors: Sally Grindley
For Angela & Michael
Contents
Â
Rose nestled her head sleepily against her mother Esme's shoulder. The accordion on Esme's lap had fallen silent, but a whisper of song escaped her lips still. On the bench opposite them, Rani, Rose's younger brother, was fast asleep, buried deep in a riot of red and yellow cushions. Their father Nicu's silhouette, solid and comforting, filled the open front of the wagon. He was quiet, contemplative, eyes fixed on the winding road ahead, a shadow of the man who, five hours earlier, had brought crowds to their feet with his lusty ballads. A plume of tobacco smoke wafted from his pipe and trailed into the back of the wagon. Rose caught a whiff of its musky aroma and breathed it in. She loved that smell, especially now as it mingled with the familiar sweet and sour of Esme's home-made perfume.
They had had such fun! From the moment they had arrived, the village streets welcomed them with festoons of multicoloured flags strung haphazardly from tree to lamp post to balcony. Villagers waved from doorways and children ran up to hold the horses' reins, skipping alongside them, chattering excitedly. The procession of wagons was herded into a small meadow dotted with wild flowers, a handful of which Rose had collected and presented to her mother. In the village square, a pig was being roasted over hot coals. Rose, Rani and their cousins and friends watched its skin blister and hiss, and wondered how long it would be before they could sink their teeth into its succulent flesh. Close by, a large metal pan filled with popcorn rattled so hard it threatened to explode. There were rows of tables piled high with fruit and vegetables, bread and cakes, sweetmeats and candied fruits, and others that were quickly loaded up with copper and clay pots, rugs and throws, bangles and beads, which the Roma had made and brought with them to sell.
On another side of the square, away from the hubbub, Rose had watched her Aunt Mirela lay out her tarot cards under a garish makeshift awning, ready to tell people their fortunes. In the corner was a crystal ball, which her aunt rarely used but which spoke of mystery and enchantment. Rose loved to stare deep into it and imagine another world there, one filled with fairies and other mythical creatures, a world where everything was magical. She loved feeling the cool, smooth roundness of the ball, and hoped that one day she would be able to tell people what life had in store for them just by gazing into it, though she sometimes puzzled over why they would want to know. That day, queues stood patiently outside Aunt Mirela's tent from the moment she had set herself up till dusk settled over them and the day came to a close.
Meanwhile, families quickly started to gather in the two cafés that bordered the third side of the square, turning their chairs outwards to face a long wooden stage that had been erected by the statue in the centre. In the bars, village men chased their coffee down with shots of something stronger and waited expectantly for the entertainment to begin. The clink of glasses, the clatter of plates, the babble of voices, the roars of laughter all grew louder as preparations were completed. When at last Nicu, Esme and other members of their clan leapt on to the stage, the crowd erupted with shouts and cheers. From the youngest, toothless babe in arms to the oldest, toothless man in a wheelchair, everyone took part in the annual carnival and dance.
And how they had danced! The square became a sea of bodies rising and falling, leaping and whirling. Rose had been swung round in circles so many times that one of her cousins had to help her to a chair until the world stopped spinning. From there she gazed at Esme's fingers fidgeting endlessly over the ivory keys of the accordion. Her mother moved seamlessly from jigs to reels to haunting ballads, taking her cue from her husband, he too capable of changing the mood in an instant. When Nicu passed the singing to another member of the band, he picked up his violin and played with people's heart-strings, stretching notes until they quivered and sighed, before changing the tempo, sawing vigorously with his bow and stamping out an accompaniment with his feet.
Rose was so proud of Esme and Nicu. She watched them whip the crowd into a frenzy, then stroke them into tranquillity. She watched the smiles on every face and the joy in every smile. They were like sorcerers, her mother and father, weaving spells with their music that made the world a happy place.
I want to have that power one day
, she thought. She wanted to have that power even more than she wanted to follow in Aunt Mirela's footsteps. She would make people laugh and love. She had been learning to play her father's violin since she was five, and she had more talent in her little finger, he said, than he had in all of his fingers and toes put together. In that instant, she made up her mind that when Nicu next offered to teach her, instead of resisting and ignoring his look of disappointment, she would embrace him and ask to continue with her journey right there and then.
The eerie hoot of an owl came first and wavered over the idle
clip-clop
of the horse's hooves. It wasn't connected. Or was it? A warning, perhaps? Rose had scarcely had time to register it before the startlingly bright lights careered round the corner. A prolonged screech of rubber on tarmac, a cry of alarm, a frantic hauling on reins was followed by the hideous smash of metal into wood. The air shuddered briefly, before giving way to a calamitous silence.
And then, had she been able to hear and understand, Rose might have heard the words âWretched Gypsies!' spat, not spoken, from too close by. Had she been able to see, she would have known that a man and a woman, he in a dinner suit, she in a long silk dress and dainty high heels, were sitting in their car, checking themselves over for injury and staring at the wreckage around them.
A loud tremor of breath from somewhere outside the car window made them tremble in turn, before the night fell silent again.
âWhat was that?' the woman sobbed. âIt wasn't the horse, was it?'
âNever mind the horse,' hissed the man. âI think my leg's broken.'
âYou were going too fast.' The woman began to sob hysterically. âI told you not to go so fast.'
âThey were in the middle of the road. It wouldn't have mattered what speed I was doing.'
âYou were going too fast,' the woman insisted. She grabbed the door handle and tried to open it.
âWhat do you think you're doing, Daphne?' The man put his arm across to stop her.
âI'm going to see if they're all right,' she cried. âWhy can't we see anyone moving?'
âYou're not getting out,' the man ordered. âThey might be dangerous.'
âThey might be dead,' the woman wailed.
âIn which case there's nothing to be done.'
Rose tried to block out the blinding light above her. It made her anxious and she wished Esme would switch it off. Even from under the curiously stiff, white sheet the light still struck her with its harshness. She listened to the strange sounds that filtered through her crudely fashioned shroud. Someone, somewhere, was wailing. A bucket clattered and a voice chastised. Not Esme's voice. A phone rang.
Where's the phone come from? We haven't got a phone. Papa doesn't like them
. âThey stop you from being free,' he said. âThey take away your choice to be left alone.'
Rose suddenly noticed that one of her arms was bandaged. And then, when she shifted, she saw there was blood all over the sheet on which she was lying. She screamed when she saw the blood. She screamed and the phone rang and voices cried and a horse whimpered and the wagon rose high in the air and she was flying and spinning and falling, falling, and the trees glowered and there was pain and silence.
She couldn't move now. Someone was pinning her down. She could smell sour breath on her face. She began to struggle, kicking with her feet, flailing with her arms, until the pain became unbearable and she lay back exhausted.
âThat's better,' she heard. âWe can't help you if you fight us.'
Rose tried to focus. A large, grey-haired woman was leaning over her, pressing down on her chest with her hands. The woman relaxed, wiped her hands on the apron she was wearing, and stood up straight when she was confident that Rose had calmed down.
âWho are you?' Rose whispered.
âI'm Sister Orta. And what's your name?'
Rose bit her lip. She didn't want to tell this stranger.
âYou've had an accident and you're in hospital,' Sister Orta continued. âIf you tell us your name, we can find someone to look after you.'
Rose frowned. âMy mother and father will look after me,' she said.
For a moment Sister Orta shifted uneasily. Then she took a deep breath and said, âI'm afraid . . . I'm afraid your mother and father are dead. The boy â your brother â too.' She didn't give Rose time to react before she added, âThe police are waiting to speak to you.'
Rose attempted to get out of bed. âWhy are you telling me this?' she sobbed, grappling to free herself from the sheet. âWhere's Mama? I want my mother.'
âNow don't start getting yourself into a state,' Sister Orta said patiently. âYou've lost a lot of blood and you need to keep still. Besides, there are other patients to think about.'
Rose no longer heard Sister Orta's words. Her one thought was to find her mother and father, to get away from this woman with her sour breath. Esme's face drifted before her and she reached out to grasp her.
âMama!' she cried.
But then she felt something sharp bite into her arm. She yelped and fell back heavily on to the bed.
âYou'll feel better after some sleep.'
Rose stared helplessly as Esme drifted away and disappeared down a long, dark tunnel, followed by Nicu and Rani. She wanted to call after them, but no sound came, and then there was nothing.
Â
Â
When Rose woke again, she found the same stark white light, the same stiff white sheets, the same disjointed sounds. The nightmare hadn't ended. She turned her head to one side, hoping to find Esme sitting close by, watching over her. There was another bed, its occupant facing away from her.
