My Only - Alex & Jamie (12 page)

Grandpa J stood, “Nonsense, you weren’t doing any such thing. I have to get going anyway. You remember what we talked about,” he instructed Alex.

“I will, Colonel.”

“And you, young lady. You take good care of our boy.”

“I will.” Jamie smiled sweetly at him as he left.

Alex hadn’t seen her since he had fallen asleep while she was on duty the night before. Last night, just like the one previous, after Dr. Corbin had come in, Alex had suggested that they play cards. He loved watching her when she let her guard down. He had tried to stay up, spend every last minute he could with her, but had fallen asleep around one a.m. Her shift had ended at five so she had already been gone when he woke up. He had missed her.

She set his tray down and asked, “How are you feeling today?”

“Hanging in there, how are you?”

“I’m okay.” She smiled but it didn’t quite meet her eyes.

He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her again. The night before, when he had done exactly that, it had felt so natural, so right. But then afterward, there had been a tension between them. He hadn’t pushed it, hadn’t addressed it. He knew that nothing would be resolved and he really hadn’t wanted to upset her.

“Has Dr. Corbin been in to see you yet?” she asked.

“No, not today.”

“Oh, I saw him down the hall. He should be in any minute then.” She nervously looked down at her hands.

“Are you upset about what happened yesterday before he walked in?” Alex asked, wanting to clear the air. He had decided to give her space last night, but maybe that was the wrong choice.

“Oh no,” She blushed and her eyes widened, “I think he may have some news that you might be happy to hear.”

“Really?” Alex was pretty sure he knew what the ‘news’ was. Vickey had told him that morning that the MRI results would be in today and, if everything looked good, Dr. Corbin would most likely release him tomorrow.

“After he comes in, do you want to go take a walk? I am getting a little claustrophobic in here.” Alex wanted to get out of the room for a while, and what better person to do that with than Jamie?

“Sure, I’ll just need to clear it with Vickey.” She smiled and it was like the clouds parted. Any frustration or tension that he had been feeling dissolved instantly.

Just being around Jamie, he felt better.

“I don’t need this thing,” Alex complained through clenched teeth for about the tenth time in so many minutes.

Jamie had to smile. Alex sounded a lot like Joey did when he was pouting.

“Well Dr. Corbin and Vickey disagree,” Jamie stated again to Alex, who was unhappy about being confined to a wheelchair on this walk.

They exited through the west wing of the hospital and she pushed him along the path that led down to the river. It was just past seven p.m. and Jamie was hoping that they would catch the tail end of the sunset.

She loved sunsets. They made her feel calm. Watching the sky as it filled with multi-colored shades of the yellow and orange always reminded her that, no matter how harsh it sometimes seemed to be, there was still beauty in the world.

The air was crisp and cool. Alex had put on sweats and house shoes in addition to a large down jacket. She had bundled up in a jacket, gloves and a beanie. Other than the cold air hitting her face, she felt warm and toasty.

As they approached the water’s edge she stopped at a bench and put the brakes on the chair's wheels. Just as she was rounding the back of the bench so that she could sit next to him, she saw Alex attempting to stand. She heard a hiss escape his mouth and saw his face scrunch up in pain as he pushed off of the arm rests for leverage.

“What are you doing?” She asked as she rushed to his side to try and assist him as he stood.

“I agreed to ride in that thing, I’m not gonna park in it,” he declared grumpily.

Honestly if he had crossed his arms and let out a ‘humph’ she wouldn’t have been surprised. She rolled her eyes as she quickly moved beside him. She tucked herself beneath his arm, so that it was draped across the back of her shoulders for support as he shifted to the bench.

After they were both seated, she made sure that he was situated and she moved a couple of inches away from him. Space, she reminded herself, I need to keep my space. He left his arm resting on the back of the bench behind her. Even though they were no longer touching, her body was very aware of his closeness.

Her heart was racing and she could feel tiny little tingles running up her arm and across her shoulders from where he had just been pressed against her. She needed to distract herself.

She looked over the river, and although there was still light in the sky, the sun had already drifted below the water’s edge. She sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked and as she turned to look at him she had to lift her head so she could look in his eyes.

Then it hit her like a slap in the face, the only time she had seen him was when he was lying in his hospital bed. Either that or when he was moving in or out of his wheelchair. But now as he sat beside her, she needed a moment to take in the difference in their size, which was so drastically different from this perspective.

Her eyes tried to process the new information. His height, his broad chest, his long legs. She looked down and saw his strong legs beside hers. The visual caused a tremor in her thighs and a pulsing between her legs.

“Jamie, are you okay?” Alex asked, his tone filled with concern.

She looked back up into his serious gaze and knew that she couldn’t voice what she was really feeling, so she just went with, “I am just disappointed about missing the sunset.”

He moved his arm and she felt his thumb rub gently against her shoulder in comfort. Her first instinct was to pull away from him. To turn to him and tell him that what he was doing was not helping her keep things in the strictly-business safe zone. But when she looked up into his eyes she forgot what she was going to say. So she just stayed perfectly still, feeling almost intoxicated from his gaze and the delicious sensation his caress was causing.

“I’m sorry we missed it,” he said, and his eyes shone brightly with sincerity.

Staring into his eyes Jamie was once again struck by the sheer magnitude of how incredibly sexy he was. And it wasn’t just his physical appearance – which alone would have put him firmly in the crazy-sexy status – it was also his heart, his laugh, his wit, his intelligence, and his capableness. Alex just had an air about him that made her feel like, no matter what the situation was, he would be able to handle it. And honestly, that was what she considered the sexiest thing about him.

She had observed growing up and seeing her mom dating more men than she could count that most had one quality about them that set them apart. Something unique to themselves that made her mom attracted to them. Usually, that quality was in the looks category. But, there had been a few guys in the mix that had been funny or smart.

Still, out of all of those guys, she didn’t remember any that had all of the qualities that Alex possessed. Nope, she honestly believed that she had never, and may never again, meet a man like Alex Sloan.

And that wasn’t even the scariest part. Just listing his many attributes didn’t even begin to scratch the surface of where the real danger lie. That was the way he looked at her. Actually, it was the way she felt when he was looking at her. She didn’t know how to guard herself against that. She had tried and failed to logic her way out of being affected by it. Now she was at the point that she honestly didn’t know how she was going to stop herself from falling for him, hard.

“Jamie?” As he said her name and his sea green eyes stared into hers, she wanted so badly to reach up again and touch his face. She knew that if she didn’t do something fast then she was about a second away from giving into that particular temptation.

All day today, when she closed her eyes, she could still feel his stubble beneath her fingertips, and the way his lips had felt pressed against her wrist. She loved how it had felt.

“You know we wouldn’t have missed the sunset if we hadn’t gotten stopped every few feet by one of your many, many admirers,” she said, for two reasons. One, it was the truth. They had been stopped practically every few feet. And second, it was a good reminder of who Alex was,
really
.

Sure, she knew that people weren’t always what their reputations would lead you to believe, but in her experience there was a grain of truth in them, at least. Alex had a reputation of being a player. Since Jamie hadn’t seen any evidence to the contrary, and had in fact seen multiple examples over the past week that would, in fact, support that claim - she was going to go ahead and believe it.

“Hey some of those stops were from relatives, they shouldn’t count against me,” he charmingly defended.

“One. Only one was stop was your cousin.” She held up her index finger to visually make her point.

He held up two fingers and wiggled the second, “And one was Chelle, who is my sister-in-law.”

“Fine, two,” she conceded good-naturedly, adding, “but a
large
majority were ‘groupies.’”

“What can I say? The ladies love me,” he teased.

“Yeah, I kinda got that impression.” Jamie nodded her head, smiling.

He leaned forward stopping only inches from her face and tilted his head to the side, “Can you blame them?”

She knew that he was not being serious. He was only acting this cocky as a joke, but the truth was Jamie couldn’t blame them. That was the problem.

“No, I can’t,” she said quietly, biting her lower lip nervously.

--- ~ ---

Alex heard himself groan in appreciation of Jamie’s nervous habit. He felt himself growing harder by the second. He was glad he had a coat to cover the evidence of his reaction. He hadn’t intended for this conversation to get so hot so quick, but it just seemed that the chemistry between himself and Jamie was extremely powerful.

As he looked into her golden eyes, watched her tug her full bottom lip between her teeth and saw the flush of arousal on her face, he wanted to pull her to him and crush his mouth against hers, to taste her sweet lips as his tongue swept from side to side, exploring every inch of her mouth.

But instead of doing that, he sat back against the bench. He knew that she wasn’t ready for anything physical to happen between them. Sure, her body might be giving him signals saying that she was
more
than ready, but he knew that, emotionally and mentally, she wasn’t there yet.

Did he want to kiss her? Hell yes. He wanted to kiss her with every pent up ounce of desire he had for her, but more than that, he wanted her to be one hundred percent on board when he did.

So, was he going to kiss her? Nope. He didn’t want her to do something in the moment and then freak out after the fact. He never wanted her to regret anything that happened between them.

He could see her out of the corner of his eye, she sat staring at him with a look of disbelief for a few moments before finally sitting back against the bench. Neither of them spoke for several moments, just sat side by side in silence.

“Alex?” He heard the question and uncertainty in her voice.

“Yes.”

“I like to face things head on.” She turned then, looking straight at him with a fierce determination.

“Okay.” He was very interested to see where this was headed.

“I know that there is some sort of…of…well, of…you know between…us.” She stammered. Then shook her head in irritation.

“Attraction.” He tried not to smile but she was so damn cute.

“Yes, attraction.” She looked relieved that he had said it. “And I don’t want you to think that I don’t feel it or that I am playing games.”

“I don’t think either of those things,” he answered honestly.

“Good,” She smiled, then, taking a deep breath, stated, “I just want to be clear that nothing can happen between us.”

She looked unsure, and Alex wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince herself or him but he thought he would help her out anyways, “Because you don’t date.”

“Yes,” She said, as if that thought had just occurred to her and she was grabbing onto like one would a life preserver, “I
don’t
date.”

“Because of Joey.” He wasn’t sure if that was the reason, but if he was a gambling man, he would bet that it was.

Her eyes widened, “How did you know that?”

“You said he’s your whole world. You’re young, beautiful, and could be with anyone you wanted to. I know it can’t be easy being a single mom. So if you’re making a life choice that drastic, I figured it had to be for him,” he explained.

A sad smile appeared on her face, “When I was growing up my mom dated. A lot. I never want Joey to know what that’s like. Having different men in and out of your home. Never having any stability.”

“So was your dad ever in the picture?” Alex asked, trying keep his tone and demeanor casual. Jamie was opening up to him and he didn’t want to ask anything that would make her clam up.

Normally he would steer clear of asking personal questions. He liked to keep things light, never wade too deep in emotional waters. But with Jamie, not only did he want to know everything she was willing to tell him, he felt like he
should
know it. It felt wrong to him that he didn’t know everything about her - her past, her present, what she wanted in the future.