Read My Other Car is a Spaceship Online
Authors: Mark Terence Chapman
“Pirates
. Yes, I figured that out for myself.” He returned to the incoming hail. “What are your intentions?”
“Our
intentions are to blow you out of the sky if you don’t comply with each and every one of our demands. They’re nonnegotiable. You have five seconds to cut your speed—or die.”
What to do, what to do? If I do not comply, they will kill us all. If I
do
comply, they may kill us all anyway,
after
robbing us.
There didn’t appear to be any solutions that would guarantee the safety of
all aboard.
“Look, whoever you are, I will cut the engines if you promise not to harm the passengers and my cre—”
“I told you already,
no
negotiations. Apparently you don’t believe we’re serious about this. I guess we’ll just have to prove it. Which side of your ship would you like us to blast a hole through, port or starboard? You have three seconds to decide before we decide for you. Three, two—”
“
Wait, wait!
All right, you win. Pilot, cut engines to maneuvering speed.”
“Very good
,” the voice responded. “We will be boarding shortly. Do not attempt resistance or we will kill everyone aboard. Have everyone, passengers and crew alike, assemble in the Grand Ballroom and await further instructions. Understand?”
Captain
Slovue’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “I understand. No one will resist. Just please spare everyon—” The connection went dead.
“So what do we do,
Captain?” Bluh asked.
“Whatever the pirates want. We have no way to defend ourselves
, except sidearms. That would merely get us blown out of the sky. Inform the passengers and crew of the situation and make sure they understand that they are not to resist.” He sighed. “I do not understand. Pirates have never attacked passenger liners before. What is this galaxy coming to?”
In less than twenty minutes,
Captain Slovue felt the shudder of another vessel docking with
Thelvian Moonbeam.
He and his Melphim first officer, Blelmen Do, waited by the hatch to meet the invaders.
The hatch retracted and rolled aside
. In strode a slender human male and a stocky Sestran female, guns drawn. More than twenty armed pirates of assorted origin followed. They swarmed out of the docking bay and up the main passageway.
The
human spoke first. “Thank you for cooperating, Captain. This operation will go much smoother and with less bloodshed than it would otherwise.”
“To whom am I speaking?”
Captain Slovue asked. “I will not deal with nameless pirates.”
“I don’t see that you have any choice,” the human responded. “However, my name is Tom Slovensky. This is
Captain MimKestal.”
“I will ask you again,”
Captain Slovue said, stiff-backed and with steel in his voice. “What are your intentions?”
“It is quite simple,” the Sestra
n pirate stated in a flat, emotionless voice. Her long antennae undulated as if in a gentle breeze. “Right now, my people are dividing your passengers and crew into two groups, those young enough and strong enough to make marketable slaves….” She paused momentarily as a commotion echoing down the main passageway threatened to drown out her words. “And those that are not. Once this is done, the old and weak will be expendable.”
Captain
Slovue blanched at the implications, and then winced at the sound of blaster fire coming from the direction of the Grand Ballroom. There was nothing he could do, not with two guns pointed at him.
“But-but you said that if we cooperated you would spare us. We cooperated to the letter.”
Slovensky spoke again, this time with a smirk. “I said you
might
all come out of this alive. Alas, that is not to be. Too bad, so sad.”
“
When we are done with the culling,” Captain MimKestal continued, “the slaves will be confined to their quarters until we reach a suitable marketplace.”
“A
n-and,” Captain Slovue’s voice broke at last. “And what of my ship?”
“
My
ship you mean? Once properly armed and reinforced, this vessel will make an excellent pirate ship. Lots of room for weapons and cargo.”
The human gave the
aptain a second to consider that statement before shooting and killing the elderly Thorian. The Melphim first officer, shocked at the suddenness of his Captain’s death, offered no resistance as the human led him at gunpoint to be processed with the other 531 slaves.
“Approaching vessels, please state your business.”
“Delphama space traffic control, this is
Merchants’ Unity Squadron 6, requesting clearance to top off at your orbital fuel depot.”
“One moment, Squadron 6,” the female voice said over the narrowband microwave link.
Hal gnawed on a ragged fingernail as he waited for clearance.
After a longer-than-usual delay, the voice returned. “Squadron 6, your
request is denied. Repeat, your request is denied. In fact, your permission to enter Delphama space is hereby revoked.”
Hal
glanced over at Kalen, who looked more frustrated than surprised. “Denied? Revoked? Did you understand me? This is a
Merchants’ Unity
patrol squadron. We’re out here protecting your interests. We’re requesting refueling clearance so we can continue to do so.”
“
Your request came in loud and clear, Squadron 6. I repeat, your request is denied. We are fully capable of protecting our own interests. You will leave this system immediately or be fired upon by the Delphama Defense Force. Do not attempt to approach. Your position has been logged and you are being targeted by seven warships. You have one minute to comply before they move in and engage.”
Hal
again glanced at Kalen, who responded with a what-did-you-expect shrug.
“Thanks
so much for putting out the welcome mat,” Hal replied with a sour taste in his mouth. “Squadron 6 requesting clearance for an outbound vector.”
“Outbound clearance granted
on a heading of one-one-four mark two. Clear skies, Squadron 6.”
“Gee, thanks—for nothing. Squadron 6 out.”
Hal engaged the sublight engines, knowing that the other five ships in the squadron were listening to the conversation and would follow the same outbound heading.
He turned to Kalen. “Well, you were right. Chalk up another system that’s slammed its doors in the Unity’s face.
You’d think we were the
pirates
, rather than the people trying to stop them.”
Kalen shrugged.
“It’s the pirates who are bribing highly placed officials—not that we can
prove
anything. That, and the threats of retaliation if the systems assist us in any way. It’s a double whammy. The systems get paid for
not
helping us and punished if they do. That tactic might not work in the larger, more established systems, but it’s definitely effective in the outlying systems. Can you blame them? If they shun us, the pirates leave their systems alone. With all the news of pirate attacks everywhere else, that has to be an enticing proposition.”
“No kidding. It makes a mafia protection racket seem like small potatoes by comparison.
But with those military vessels in the systems, what are they worried about from pirates?”
Kalen shrugged. “My guess is we got ‘lucky’ finding them here today. Most likely they’re just passing through like we are. This system’
s not big enough to justify that many warships.”
Hal
shook his head and sighed. “This makes what now? Sixteen systems that are off-limits to Unity vessels? It’s getting tougher to plan patrol routes so we have adequate supply lines for refueling and provisions. And with the pirate attacks getting bolder every month, that’s one more complication we don’t need.”
Senior
Captain Kalen Jeffries, newly appointed commodore of Squadron 6, grimaced. “Ain’t it, though? All right. We still need fuel. Find us the next closest system on our route and let’s hope we have better luck there.”
“Roger that. Beginning search for a lucky star.”
“Smartass.”
“Yes sir. Just like the rest of me.”
Kalen snorted and shook his head.
Another day, another system, another bar.
Hal
, waiting for Kalen to arrive, rolled his eyes at the moron on the holoscreen railing against the Merchants’ Unity. This sort of editorial piece had become disturbingly common in many systems over the past months.
“The Unity once served a purpose, but its day is past. We live in a new time, a new universe—one where pirates roam the spaceways and the Unity is powerless to stop them. Yet they continue to bleed commercial enterprises dry to keep their fleet operating. And those companies are forced to pass on the high cost of operating those ships to
us
, the consumers. That means higher prices on almost everything.” The Thorian stared into the holo pickup, his yellow eyes glinting in the bright studio lights. “Have you noticed an increase in the price of imported goods lately?”
“Damn
right!” a rather imposing Melphim down the bar from Hal agreed. He raised his beer mug unsteadily toward the screen, slopping the red liquid into his lap. He was too far gone to notice.
“Those Unies are sim
-sim-simply a big wa-waste of money.” He nearly fell backward off his barstool before righting himself. “I have bet-better things to do with my money than to was-waste it on their joyr-joyr-joyrides all over the gal-galaxy.”
Joyrides?
This got Hal’s hackles up.
Is that what they think?
He approached and put his hand on the Melphim’s broad shoulder. “Look, son, maybe you’ve had enough. Let me call you a ride home.” His tone brooked no disagreement.
The Melphim turned in surprise. “Ge-get your hands off-off me. I
—” He squinted his narrow-set eyes suspiciously at Hal and took in his tan ship’s jumpsuit. “Say. You-you’re one of them Unie bastards tha’ ’re costing us all money! Hey, everyone! This is one’a them Unie freeloaders tha’ ’re eating into all our paychecks!”
Several dozen heads turned toward
Hal. None looked friendly.
“Hell,
yeah
, I serve in the Merchants’ Unity. And proudly! We’re the only thing keeping the pirates at bay. Without us, many of you—or your women or your children—would be dead or in chains.
Freeloaders?
You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about! People are
dying
out there, trying to keep you safe. I’ve lost more than a few friends to pirate attacks. Believe me, they’re a very real threat. You need to take them more seriously. They’re growing
more
powerful, not less.”
“So you s-say.
I
say you pe-people are stealing the food out of our mouths. I lost my job at the factory—so did a
lot
of the people here.” His gesture took in the whole bar. Several heads nodded in agreement. “Because they had to cu-cut costs; because they were paying you pe-people to ‘protect’ us. Ha! Where were you whe-when the pirates attacked
Joreid Explorer
last month, hey? No one from that ship has been seen since. My
brother
was on that ship.”
Uh-oh.
The mood in the bar turned ugly in a hurry. Many glared at Hal and several started toward him.
“I-I’m sorry,” he tried, now concerned for his safety. “I’m very sorry for your loss. There just aren’t enough Unity ships to go around. There are too many pirates for us to cover every system adequately. We do what we can, but—”
“What seems to be the problem here?”
The voice came from the largest Chan’Yi
that Hal had ever seen, over three meters tall and wearing the uniform of the local constabulary. Kalen stood beside him.
“No problem,
officer,” Hal replied. “These nice people asked me to leave and I was just about to comply.” He made his way through the crowd to the door where Kalen and the cop waited. The Chan’Yi stayed behind a moment, to give the humans a chance to leave in peace.
“Thank goodness you showed up just then,”
Hal said. “I was afraid I was going to have to teach them all the error of their ways.”
Kalen snorted. “
R-i-i-ght
. Let’s just hope we don’t have too many more educational opportunities after this. I don’t know how many times the headmaster will be around to intervene.”
Tarl Penrod nodded with approval. “Excellent.”
The main
corridor extended for more than a hundred meters before curving out of sight. It was wide enough, and the ceiling high enough, for an industrial earth mover to pass through with plenty of room to spare. In fact, large mining equipment had traversed this and other corridors for more than two decades.