My Own Mr. Darcy (17 page)

LIZZIE: I’M NOT EVEN SURE
HOW TO ANSWER THAT. I WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

CHAD: THAT’S NOT TRUE.

LIZZIE: YES IT IS.

CHAD: IF I’D DONE
EVERYTHING RIGHT, THINGS WOULDN’T HAVE TURNED OUT THE WAY THEY DID.

I didn’t know what to say.
I couldn’t tell him that no matter how wonderful he was, he wasn’t Mr. Darcy. I
couldn’t tell him I’d started liking him but that Matt walking into the bank
had to be fate. I couldn’t tell him I’d probably never have given him a chance
if it hadn’t been for Janessa. All these things just reminded me that what I’d
done to Chad wasn’t fair and that fate had stepped in and played a cruel trick.
Why hadn’t I met Matt first and spared Chad dating me in the first place? I
couldn’t tell Chad that hurting him hurt me too. I didn’t even want to admit it
to myself or I’d have to figure out my feelings. It didn’t make sense. I had
what I wanted. I should be happy. I was happy. I had no reason not to be happy.

I was still wrestling with
myself when Chad sent another message.

CHAD: SORRY. I REALLY
WANT YOU TO TALK TO MY MOM SO I DON’T WANT TO MAKE THINGS AWKWARD. FORGET I
STARTED THIS. IT’S JUST LATE.

LIZZIE: I PROMISE YOU
DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. THIS IS ABOUT WHAT I DECIDED I WANTED A LONG TIME
AGO. I WISH I COULD EXPLAIN IT.

CHAD: AND HE’S WHAT YOU
WANT?

LIZZIE: I THINK SO.

CHAD: ARE YOU SURE YOU
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT?

LIZZIE: YEAH, I THINK SO.

CHAD: I HOPE SO.

LIZZIE: ME TOO.

CHAD: I PROBABLY
SHOULDN’T SAY THIS, BUT I’VE MISSED YOU.

LIZZIE: I PROBABLY
SHOULDN’T SAY THIS EITHER, BUT I’VE MISSED YOU TOO.

CHAD: GOOD NIGHT, LIZZIE.

LIZZIE: GOOD NIGHT.
THANKS AGAIN.

I should have felt better
but I didn’t. I rolled over and stared at the clock. It was almost one in the
morning. That meant it wasn’t quite midnight in Arizona. I dialed Matt’s
number.

“Hello Elizabeth.”

“Hi Matt. I hope it isn’t
too late to call.”

“I’m just heading to bed.
What are you doing up so late?”

“I just couldn’t fall
asleep.”

“Like a kid on Christmas
Eve, huh?”

“I guess so. Did you have
a nice evening?”

“We played games and had
Mexican food.”

“Mmm. Sounds good. Did
your mom have it catered?”

Matt laughed. “Of course.”

“Was it delicious?”

“Everyone said it was. I
had salad and Spanish rice.”

“Sounds boring.”

“There were other things.
I just didn’t eat them. You’d have probably enjoyed it more than me. Sweetie,
I’m really tired. Do you mind if we talk more tomorrow?”

“Sure. That’s fine.” A
tear slid down my cheek. I quickly brushed it away.

“Thanks. I want to talk to
you, I’m just so tired I don’t think I’d be very good company tonight.”

“No, it’s fine. We can
talk tomorrow.”

“Great. I’ll call you
tomorrow. Good night.”

“Good night.”

After almost an hour of
restlessness, I tiptoed to the kitchen. Nothing in the refrigerator looked
good. A tin of shortbread cookies sat on the table. Cute Mr. Klein. He’d been
bringing a tin like this every Christmas since I was a baby. The cookie tasted
good but did nothing to fill the hollow ache in my stomach.

IT WAS CHRISTMAS
evening.
The excitement of the day had worn Jonah out so James and Laura had taken him home
to sleep in his own bed. I was sitting in the family room with Dad and Mom
watching The Best of Carol Burnett, a boxed set James had given Mom for
Christmas.

Matt had said he’d call
me, so I’d waited patiently all day. At least I’d waited all day. Sometimes I hadn’t
felt very patient.

It was almost ten when my
phone rang. It was Matt. “I’ll be back in a bit,” I said and hurried out of the
room. “Hello.” I walked down the hall to my childhood bedroom and sat
cross-legged on the daisy comforter.

“Hi Elizabeth. How was
your Christmas?”

“It was good.” I told him
about the cruise Dad had given Mom and the antique rocker James had given to
Laura. I didn’t tell him about the floral tights Laura had found for me at a
little boutique in Seattle.  “Did you have a nice Christmas?”

“It was the usual
Christmas. My older sisters spoiled their kids. My parents spoiled my little
sister. There were way too many presents and by the time we were through I was
nearly catatonic.”

“How many kids do your
sisters have?” I asked.

“My oldest sister, Rachel,
has three children. Mason is 12, Gabby is 8 and Ryder is . . . maybe 5. I’m not
sure. Then comes JeNae. She has twins. Piers and Elliott. They’re six or
seven.”

“And then there’s you.”

“Right. And then when I
was ten they had Alexis. She’s 18 now. Graduates from high school this spring.”

“I’ll bet it’s nice to see
everyone. I love seeing my brother’s family.”

“It’s nice for the first
couple of days. Then I remember why I wanted to move away.”

“What made you choose
Portland?”

“I wanted to live
somewhere new and interesting. I’d read some things about Portland and so I
took a trip. I liked the climate and the energy. I knew I wanted to own a
bookstore but there weren’t any for sale so I decided to open my own.”

 “Do you miss them when
you’re here?” I asked.

“Sometimes, but they come
visit and I go visit them. I find I love them more when I’m missing them than
when we’re thrown together days on end.”

“Did you get anything good
for Christmas?” I asked.

“My best present was a
framed photograph of my book store. There’s this cute girl that lives in
Portland who took the picture herself and had it framed.”

I was glad no one could
see my goofy grin. “She must be pretty awesome to get you such a great
present,” I said.

“She is. I like her a
lot.”

“I’ll bet you really miss
her when you’re in Arizona, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.”

“I’ll bet she misses you,
too.”

“She’d better.”

“I’m sure she does,” I
said.

“Tell me what you got for
Christmas, besides play tickets,” Matt said.

“Well, James and Laura got
me a watch. Mom and Dad got a chair re-upholstered for my apartment.”

“A chair?” Matt asked.

“It’s not just any chair.
It’s this great overstuffed chair with thick, pillowy arms. It was my favorite
reading chair when I was growing up. It was threadbare and beat up but they
knew I loved it so instead of getting rid of it, they had it re-upholstered so
it would look great in my living room.”

“That was nice of them.
Did you get to pick out the fabric?”

“I did but I didn’t know I
was. Mom had me choose my favorite fabric because she was thinking of getting
herself a new couch. There was no new couch. Just a perfect chair for me. Oh,
and I was going to tell you. My friend, Chad, gave me something, too.”

“Chad. Is that the swim
coach?”

“Yes. He arranged for me
to have a consultation with his mom. She’s planning to redo her formal living
room and dining room and she’s going to let me make a proposal. If she likes
it, I’ll have the job.”

Matt was quiet so I
waited. “So you get to go to her house, put in hours of work on a proposal and
if she likes it you have the job? What if she doesn’t like it?”

“Then she’ll hire someone
else.”

“After you’ve spent all
that time there and put in all those hours?”

“Matt, this is the way
interior design works. The only people who hire someone without a proposal are
people who go on those reality shows. The great thing is I’ll get to do some
real interior design work and then hopefully I’ll get to carry out the plan.”

“I guess that will be some
good practice for you.”

“I studied this Matt. I
think I’m good at it. I’m not just practicing. This is for real. This is a
potential job.”

“Does it mean you’ll quit
the bank?”

“No. I can’t. It would
take more than one job to let me quit the bank. But it would give me something
to present to some design places so they could see my work on a real job
instead of just in the classroom. It’s a step.”

“I guess I should say congratulations.
I can’t decide if that’s a really generous gift or a really cheap one.” I
didn’t tell him that the beautiful $75.00 coffee table book sitting in my
apartment was also part of the present. I also kept to myself how grateful I
was and how thoughtful Chad had been. There was a long, awkward pause and this
time I felt compelled to fill it.

“When are you coming back?”
I asked.

“I’ll be home the 30
^th
.
Meg is having a New Year’s Eve party at her condo. I thought we could go there
to celebrate.”

Meg. What would she wear
to a New Year’s Eve party? I knew I’d look dowdy next to her no matter what I
wore. Did I dare wear my floral tights? They were pretty festive. I’d have to
think about that.

“That sounds fun.”

“I guess I’ll say
goodnight. Merry Christmas, Miss Elizabeth.”

Oh! My! Goodness!

I fell back on my bed and
pounded my fist on my chest to restart my heartbeat. Did he really just say
that?

“Goodnight, Mr. Dawson,” I
said.         

I hung up the phone but
didn’t move. I was too busy swooning.

“You all right in here?”
Dad asked several minutes later.

“I’m more than all right,”
I said.

“Mom and I are heading to
bed. See you in the morning,” he said, smiling at me.

“Thanks for the chair,
Dad. I really love it. And I love you.”

“We love you too, kiddo.”

A shopping trip with
Janessa yielded a cocoa-colored, belted sweater dress. Janessa said I should
wear my new floral tights but instead I wore a pair of dark brown tights and bronze
flats.

Matt smiled when I opened
the door. It was a good smile that reached his eyes. “Are you as happy to see
me as I am to see you?” he asked.

“I sure am.”

Matt pulled me into his
arms for a long, warm hug. “Let’s not ever go ten days again.” He kissed me
lightly. “Let’s go ring in the new year.”

I was so happy to see Matt
that I almost forgot how intimidated I was to go to Meg’s party. Who would be
there? Judging by my reception at the bookstore and her extravagant wardrobe, I
had a feeling I might be a little out of place.