My Secret Life (93 page)

Then my sperm began seething in my balls. I smiled at her, she smiled in return. Going closer I touched her garment, and at once she lifted it up to her navel, laid down on the sand, and intimated that I might fuck here there. Tho alone and nobody near, I shook my head, not being equal to lying down with a girl in a cemetery in broad daylight. With a little gesticulation and showing some coin she understood me, and leading the child she left the place — I I following slowly in the distance, to a cottage just outside, — there were a dozen or so cottages — and she entered one. I hesitated and stopped. Soon her head peeped out beckoning me to her, and with prick erect I entered it.

In the miserable chamber were one or two articles of furniture, and a divan covered with a wretchedly shabby carpet. After she’d closed the door, without a word she threw off her only garment and laid down start naked. An exquisitely beautiful shape she had, such breasts, such thighs and arms. I pulled out my stiff prick which she at once started up to look at and kiss, as if in extreme delight. Then she laid down again and I mounted her, but finding the divan too narrow for easy fucking, got up. She seemed to understand, got up, pulled the carpet onto the floor, put a cushion for her head, laid down and opened her thighs wide, showing a pretty, pouting-lipped, hairless cunt, and in five minutes I had filled it with my semen. Never had I a more delicious fuck. She wanted it again, but I gave her money and departed quickly, tho I no longer feared the ailments of Venus, being about to sail for Europe soon.

I visited other towns without whoring, then left the East. A longish sea voyage followed, and landed me at a great French seaport. Never in four months had I done so little fucking. The opportunities were few, and when they occurred, I thought of my health, restrained my desires.

During my voyage on a sea as calm as a mill pond, I wrote an article about pricks and what I had seen and done with those carnal tools in the East. On my return home, I looked out scraps of manuscript written at different times on that and the cognate subject of fucking, and thinking they would be better together than distributed, placed them here under the Æegis of the rod of life.

I have seen a great many pricks in a state of erection as well as repose, tho I’ve felt but few. I suppose that there are pricks which may be termed handsome or ugly, and that women see beauty or ugliness in them, just as I do in cunts. The greatest number seemed to be of about average length and thickness, but the difference between the largest and the smallest was very considerable; certainly quite two inches in length, and in thickness proportionately.

No two look quite alike. There are those very long and thick, those long and thin, short and thick, and short and thin, those equally thick throughout their length, those which taper a little from root to glans. There are those with tips or glans flattish, round-topped, or pointed. Some tips are like a heart, others like a plum, some with little, some with big tips, with big knobs some. Some look quite straight when stiff, others have a well-defined curve. Some have a little scrotum, others a big bag of testicles, and there are no end of combinations of all these features, endless varieties in size and shape. Moreover some are brown skinned, some white, some of which the tips are never covered with the foreskin, others covered wholly or but partially. — Some tips are of a pink tint, others of carmine even when in repose and lust not rampant.

Women according to their tastes, I remark, call them fine, big, noble, splendid: rarely do they say, lovely, pretty, or beautiful. They express admiration of size alone. I’ve not heard them say. “A beautiful shape, a pretty knob” and so on. But no doubt women are not insensible to beauty in the article, and indeed some pricks have pleased
me
more than others. But size is the only feature which is worthy of remark about them here.

To me a prick only looks well on a man when smallish and pendant, then it seems in fitting pose, and neither adds to nor detracts from his physical beauty. But when it is stiff and the man naked walks about with it projecting like a bowsprit, and nodding with its weight and his movement, it makes the man look ridiculous. It would make the Apollo Belvedere look absurd. Yet it has when in that state of erection a special charm for the woman, it fascinates her, and few can handle it for a minute, without lying down and opening their thighs to receive it into the realms of Venus, whether the man is eager or not for the conjunction.

This I have discussed with many Cyprians, many a time also with H
^***
Indeed of late we never meet without talking about the sizes and capabilities of pricks, in which subject she takes the greatest interest. We had at various times arranged how pricks ought to be measured. She measured mine one day with pieces of thin string carefully cut off to mark sizes, and subsequently she did the same to her protector and to both of her large-pricked lovers. How we laughed when we compared them with mine. The strings were given to me and I noted the lengths and circumferences. The following dimensions of the pegos were all taken when stiff. The lengths were measured on the upper sides from the tip to where the prick joins the belly, and not underneath where it joins and is lost in the balls. The following measurements show how much smaller the two large pricks were than she had supposed them to be. She had often spoken of both as seven or eight inches long or more.

The measurements of my own I omit out of modesty, but it’s neither so short or so long as the extremes. — Once I was ignorantly ashamed of its size — I knew no better then.

The biggest prick was under seven inches long but looked
very big
and far above the average of those I have seen through peepholes, with one exception. You hear gay women say, “Oh, his prick was seven or eight inches long.” I have talked with dozens of women about this, have discussed it in conclave with three harlots and a baud. I cut bits of wood, six, seven and eight inches long and projected them from my belly to show them what a six, seven and eight inch prick was, and what a little they knew of length — I should say that six inches is more than the average length of stiff pricks measured in the way described. That titanic doodle which F
^**
z
^*
r showed me some years ago must however have been nearly eight inches long.
She
had never seen such a tool before, she told me. There was also one very big prick which I and a woman handled together, the narrative of which I think is preserved, but cannot at this moment recollect.

What is the superiority of the big doodles? Six inches is the utmost that the ordinary female can take up her cunt with pleasure. A vigorous hard rammer of even six inches hurts many women, and a moderate-sized one they all admit gives as much pleasure as the largest — yet all seem to admire — to be fascinated — by the idea of huge cunt stretchers, and always speak admiringly of them. Somehow even
I
seemed to have more pleasure in looking at the large ones than at the others.

Some women have told me they preferred a good thick prick to a long one, that the sensation of stretching was nicer. But perhaps that was mere imagination, for a cunt is big enough for the biggest, and involuntarily closes on and grasps a prick, fitting itself to the size whether it be a large or small one, directly it is lodged within its folds, and I believe the smallest cunt will take the largest prick.

I have collected many notes made principally at lapunars, of the time a man takes in fucking, and how many times he thrusts up the cunt before spending. From my experience at the baudy house in **** S
^t
. I knew it varied immensely. Then, I never had made observations watch in hand.
—
I have asked harlots without any satisfactory reply. They ought to know, but they didn’t, and only said. — “About so and so.” — It was not that they didn’t want to know or tell, but they didn’t know. — “You
are
a queer man,” said one to me when I questioned her, and who became immensely interested in the subject.

At the lapunar in after times, this inquisitiveness arose in me, and being older and with less urgings from my ballocks to get rid of its accumulation, cooler in fact with advancing years, on some evenings at the lapunar with watch in hand I made observations, having first fucked a harlot to cool my carnal promptings and leave my brain clearer, but keeping her with me — gaining her experience by questions.

One youngish man whose prick was stiff as he washed it spent in three and a half minutes. In
my
youth I have spent at the moment my glans touched the cunt.

One man, seemingly forty, who turned the lady’s bum towards him, was six minutes in her cunt including the time his prick lingered in her before and after spending. From the moment he began his thrusts to the moment he uncunted was five minutes and he averaged a thrust a second. Allowing a minute for the repose of contemplation at his entry, and half a minute for repose after he’d spent, he was four and a half minutes thrusting which makes two hundred and seventy thrusts up the lady’s pudenda
—
I don’t know why it should be called “pudenda” or that there be anything to be ashamed of in it, since she was born for the sole purpose of using that pudenda, cunt, gap, quim, notch, split, slit, thing
—
to put names alphabetically — or whatever else it may be called.

Then I timed a man who perhaps was forty-five years old, but a fine, vigorous, big fellow. First he fucked the woman standing as she lay on her back at the bed edge. In about six minutes he turned her bum towards him, and re-inserted his prick, fucked, spent and withdrew. He was leisurely in all his preliminary movements, and in the change of posture of the lady, and from first to last occupied sixteen minutes. I held my watch in my hand all the time, timed his thrusts in the middle of his fucking, and found that each was as nearly as possible a second, perhaps a very little less.

Allowing a minute for repose after insertion and two minutes for change of pose of the lady from belly to bum and his re-insertion, and his quietude when contemplating the beauty of her buttocks, and of his own prick as three or four times he drew it out slowly to the tip, and put it up again equally slowly, and also a minute’s repose before he uncunted after his spend, that man was twelve minutes fucking. — He was slow and luxuriously contemplative at his work. I timed him at various stages and found after the lady’s rump was towards him — the last posture — that he was somewhat quicker in movement than at the first. Allowing on the average that he was a second and a quarter at each thrust, or say fifty thrusts a minute — then he made six hundred thrusts up that woman’s cunt before he spent. He was always slow, she told me.

I timed three or four youngish men who put into their women without much preliminary dalliance. They varied from three to four and a half minutes before they spent and their thrusts from two hundred and fifty to two hundred and ninety-five.

One French harlot told me she thought that most men were, if young, about six minutes in their cunts altogether. An English harlot years ago said seven minutes. — “But lor, I have had some who have fucked a quarter of an hour without spending, then pulled it out and began again after waiting, and some spend directly.” — H. told me her men were up her and over in no time and that some spent directly they entered.