My Skylar
Authors: Penelope Ward
Tags: # From the author of the #1 bestselling romance, #Jake Undone, #comes a friends-to-lovers story of longing, #passion, #betrayal and redemption…with a twist that will rip your heart out. Skylar was my best friend, #but I secretly pined for her. One thing after another kept us apart, #and I’ve spent the last decade in fear of losing her forever. First, #it was the cancer, #but she survived only to face the unthinkable at my hands. Because of me, #she left town. For years, #I thought I’d never see her again. But now she’s back…and living with him. I don’t deserve her after everything I’ve put her through, #but I can’t live without her. This is my last chance because she’s about to make the biggest mistake of her life. I can see it her eyes: she doesn’t love him. She still loves me...which is why I have to stop her before it’s too late.
MY SKYLAR
Penelope Ward
CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
MITCH
Skylar had no idea that I watched her. Once a week, I would sit in my car diagonally across
from her house on the quiet suburban street where she lived now—with him. It made me want to
vomit just thinking about her with another man, let alone having to witness it.
This spot was one of three where I parked that provided the perfect angle to see into her living
room. I would switch positions each week to be less conspicuous, and my car lights were always
turned off. A small pair of binoculars came in handy and except for the lack of a partner in crime, it was much like a stakeout you’d see in the movies.
I packed dinner in a brown bag; usually a peanut butter sandwich and a protein shake and
made a night of it until the lights shut off downstairs, signaling that she had gone to sleep. Then, I’d drive home to my empty bed and hope that I’d dream about her.
The name of her street was Bayberry Lane. It was the type of neighborhood she deserved: safe,
aligned with plush trees and perfectly manicured lawns, about two and a half hours outside of
New York City in Jersey. It was the next town over from where we grew up and the type of place
I’d always imagined we would end up together, happily ever after.
It had been five, long years since Skylar uttered a single word to me. Most of that time, she had
been living out of state. The word on the street was that she left to attend interior design school, but the truth was, she had been running away from me.
Because I broke her heart.
A few years after she left, she met a guy. Our mutual friend, Davey, would give me inside
information on her, and as much as I hated the idea of Skylar settling down with another man, if
she were truly happy, I knew I had to accept it. It was a whole lot easier when she was far away.
I’d assumed she would never come back here. That is, until one night when my world as I knew it
turned upside down during a simple run to Target for toothpaste.
I spotted her first. She was looking down at the back label of a bottle of mouthwash when I
entered the aisle, and she hadn’t noticed me standing a few feet away.
My heart started to pound while my chest constricted. Skylar was always a beautiful girl, but
nothing could have prepared me for the sight of her as a full-grown woman. I had always
imagined how it might be to see her again, but the intensity of my physical and emotional
reaction caught me off guard.
Her long, auburn hair was a bit darker now and tied into a low ponytail cascading down her
back. She was wearing a simple black and white plaid wool coat that had a thick belt wrapped
around her tiny waist. She seemed a lot taller, but when I looked down, I realized it was because
she was wearing high-heeled boots.
She still hadn’t turned to notice me, and with my chest tight and my throat closed, I just stared
at her, silently urging myself to say something before she walked away. The word was hardly
audible when it came out. “Skylar.”
When her eyes met mine, it felt as though my heart started beating again for the first time in
five years. It made me realize how dead inside I had been.
She took a small step back, and her chest rose up and down in shock. Not only had this been
the first time we’d laid eyes on each other since before she left town, but I looked a lot different.
A couple of years ago, at the height of a depression, I started taking my frustrations out on my
body and began a rigorous workout regimen that had now become a daily routine. So, I was bigger
and probably a little scarier than the college boy she left behind.
She didn’t know the half of how hardened I had become, more so on the inside. She, on the
other hand, looked delicate and sophisticated compared to my rugged appearance in worn jeans
and a soiled, beige construction jacket.
She stood there speechless, looking down at the tattooed letters on my knuckles. She never
knew me with tattoos.
Say something, Skylar…anything.
Then, I heard a male voice at the end of the aisle. “Come on, Sky. I don’t have all friggin’ day.”
Sky
. No one called her Sky. She hated that nickname. And he was being short with her. I
didn’t like his choice of words or the look on his face that I spied before turning my head,
pretending to look at the toothpaste selection.
I was seething.
Him.
I didn’t even know him, and I wanted to destroy him. All I knew was that he had the only thing I’d ever wanted.
She turned around toward this guy who I could only assume was the boyfriend. “I…I’m sorry.
I’ll be right there.” She sounded nervous, discombobulated, nothing like the cool, self-assured
Skylar I once knew…and loved. I
still
loved her. She had been my best friend, the most important person in the world to me for so many years…before I fucked us up.
My face was still turned away when I heard her heels clicking away from me and more than
that, I
felt
her body leave me as the sudden absence triggered the return of a familiar and unbearable longing that I had only recently learned to keep at bay.
I stayed in the same spot for an undetermined amount of time, staring blankly at the shelves
as all of the emotions I tried to bury for years flooded me full force again.
When I finally moved, I saw her standing in line waiting to pay. Her boyfriend must have been
waiting in the car because he was nowhere in sight.
Let her go, Mitch.
I almost did…until I saw it.
Skylar lifted her hand to her eyes and began wiping away tears. She looked behind her
shoulder to make sure no one was watching and didn’t realize I was just on the other side of her a
few registers down hiding behind a magazine. My heart felt like it was ready to explode. She was
crying, and I knew it was because of me. It should have hurt, but instead, it invigorated me.
She still felt something.
Whether it was sadness or hatred or even a fraction of love, I didn’t know. But anything was
better than complacency. I had convinced myself that Skylar was gone forever, not only away from
town, but that her feelings for me had to have long dissipated. I had never been able to move on
from her but assumed that by now, she might have moved past what happened between us.
As she wiped her eyes again, I knew I had to know more. I just needed to know whether she
was happy. She sure as hell didn’t look it, and that made me angry. I had stayed away all these
years, never fought for her, because I thought she was better off. Even if she could never forgive
me, I needed to know for my own sanity that Skylar was okay.
So, that’s how the stalking came about, although I liked to call it
watching
; that was a little less creepy.
***
to myself. I shouldn’t have been here, but the truth was, being near her felt more like home than
anywhere.
Tonight, she was alone, and these were my favorite nights. She’d sit on the couch and read or
watch television. Sometimes, when she’d watch TV, she’d laugh out loud to herself. Staring at the
lingering smile that followed was the best form of meditation for me. When Skylar smiled, she lit
up the room, and there was nothing more calming to look at. It was important for me to see her
smile. It meant I hadn’t wiped it away altogether.
On the other hand, she seemed tense when
he
was around. Those nights, she spent more time
cleaning or cooking, never relaxing. They’d argue a lot and one time, it culminated in his grabbing her and kissing her apologetically. As much as I had tried to prepare myself for what I might have
to witness when I decided to do this, that really stung like hell to watch. Thank God it ended
there. I wouldn’t have stuck around for anything more. That’s for damn sure. Show over at that
point.
She was reading tonight. With my binoculars, I studied her pensive expression as she
concentrated on her book with her legs wrapped in a knit blanket. She had lit a couple of jar
candles on the coffee table, and there was one lamp on. She was so friggin’ cute in her red-framed
reading glasses. I wondered when she started needing glasses and then stopped that thought
process because it led me to wonder about all the other things I had missed.
I would have given anything to hold her while she read and to fall asleep with my nose in the
crook of her neck. Just the thought of that warmed me inside as I sat in my dark, cold car. I
couldn’t figure out why some nights he never came home. I would sure as hell be home every night
if Skylar were mine.
A howling wind shook my car as I continued to gaze at her through the window. Her eyelids
became heavy, and I watched intently as they slowly closed tight. She had fallen asleep on the
couch.
I could see my breath as I sighed and leaned my head back against the seat, conceding that it
was time to call it quits for the night. My heart hurt every time I had to leave her. But I would
keep coming until I had what I needed: assurance that she was happy and safe.
Until next week, my Skylar.
I put the key in the ignition and turned it to start the car when the engine hesitated. Thinking
nothing of it, I immediately turned it a second time when the same thing happened.
Please! Not here of all places
.
That’s what I got for bringing the shit car. I owned a really nice truck, but it was massive and
would have attracted too much attention on the quiet street. This car was an older Corvette I
purchased for fun, working on it occasionally, but it mainly stayed in my mother’s garage.
After a third attempt to start the car, I got a flashlight and kit out of my trunk and opened the
hood. The battery wasn’t dead, so I tinkered with some wiring in the hopes that I could get it to
start. When I cranked it again, it still wouldn’t budge. I repeatedly turned the ignition, pumping
my foot on the gas, praying that I could get out of here before Skylar woke up and noticed me.
I took a break, slamming my head against the steering wheel in frustration. After about five
minutes, I decided to try it one last time before I would abandon my car and walk the several
miles home in the freezing cold.
This time, I pumped harder on the gas as I turned the ignition, and to my absolute horror, the
car backfired in a loud bang.
Fuck!
I needed to grab my shit and just go. Now.
Go!
I exited the car, and as I turned to lock it, there was the sound of a door bursting open and
footsteps scraping the pavement behind me.
