My Soldier: A Miliatary Romance (24 page)

Avni

“H
ello?” A long pause filled my ears, white noise crackling through the speaker. “Hello? Levi, is that you?”

But there was nothing. The deep baritone voice I hoped would fill my head was a barren wasteland of dead sound.

Where is he? I need to talk to him. Fuck, Levi!

He wouldn't answer my calls, my texts went unread and trashed. Levi had run off in such a huff I didn't even get the chance to tell him why I needed him to stay.

His pigheaded reaction caused his protective nature to take hold. In other words, his balls grew three sizes and over took his brain.

He was a man on a war path, Romeo taking on the Capulets by force. And I was afraid, afraid for his safety, afraid of what
he might do...

If he killed Vito, he'd be no better off than if Vito killed him. His life would still end, he'd be exiled to his last breaths behind bars.

And I would be alone,
again.

The one and only thing I hated and wanted to avoid at all costs.

The jingle of my phone sent a tremor through my muscles. Looking down, I didn't recognize the number.

“Hello?” I asked, unsure if I was about to hear the voice of my enemy.

My chest had seized, frozen to the thought that Vito's rough tone might fly through the speaker. The sound of his voice would send a shrill, vile sting into my heart. And if he tried to reprimand me for Levi, for whatever he tried to do...

I'd die right there.

“Is this Avni?” A woman asked, her soft voice was comforting and calming.

In the same instance her voice brought on nerves, my stomach churning and moving in unnatural flips against my ribs. “Yes, this is Avni.”

“Hi, Avni. My name is Diane, Diane Hite.”

Diane Hite?

Hite... Levi Hite. Oh no, what happened?

My worst fears were coming to life right before my eyes. My hands began to shake violently, fingers doing all they could to keep the speaker plastered to my skull.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't stop my head from tangling around images of Levi, and what Vito had done to him.

I hadn't had the chance to meet his mom yet, for her to call me meant it couldn't be good.

“Avni, Sweetheart, my son has told me so much about you. I'm sorry were only talking for the first time under these circumstances.”

I was trying to listen for tears, straining my neck to see if I could hear even the faintest sound of sadness in her tone.

But Diane had a coolness in her words, a gentle disguise I should have seen right through.

“He told you about me?” Why I didn't ask her what happened, or why she was calling, I don't know. Maybe it was just the shock and fear of the phone call to begin with that twisted my brain in a million directions.

“Oh, Honey, Levi hasn't stopped talking about you since he met you. And that's why I'm calling, I think he'd want me to call you.” Even though I couldn't see her face, I could feel her fidgeting with her fingers. The delicate patter of flesh against flesh rang like cymbals crashing together.

“Why? Where is he? Did something happen?” My voice broke with each question, wavering under the tears that wanted to claim my eyes, and the intense sobbing my chest was ready to pour out.

No! Not yet, I haven't told him yet!

This couldn't be happening, he couldn't be gone. I needed him here, he promised to keep me safe. How could he be gone?

It wasn't possible, he gave me his word. I wasn't ready for this, not before I told him how his life...
How our life,
was about to change.

Life was so cruel and unforgiving.

What did I do that was so bad I didn't deserve one ounce of happiness?

Why did my life have to be littered with death and sadness?

I hated my life right in that moment. I just couldn't understand what I could have done to deserve to have this happen again.

Was I such a horrible person I didn't earn the right to love someone?

Was I evil enough to earn the blackness my life had warped into?

“Avni, you need to go to the hospital. You need to go see him while you still can.” Diane paused for a long moment, only her heavy breathing penetrated the hollow crackle. “Please, I think he'd want you to go see him one last time.”

My eyes welled up with hot tears. Breaking the surface, they seared my cheek as they poured over my skin. Even if I wanted to stop the waterfall clouding my gaze, I couldn't. This was all too much for me to handle.

Levi had taken my world by storm, crashed into my life with a fierceness I couldn't have seen coming. And in a blink, it was all over.

His meager time in my world had stained my brain, soaking in so deep I knew I'd never get him out. Especially not now, not after learning I was pregnant.

How could the father of my child be swept away in a flash?

Why did my unborn child deserve a life without their father?

What did we do!? Huh! Tell me?!
Screaming inside my head, I tilted my neck up towards the ceiling.

I wanted the answers to fall from the sky, break through the plaster, and smack me head on.

But nothing came, I stood in empty silence, phone hanging by my side. Levi's mom was calling my name, waiting for me to answer. And I couldn't.

I let the call go dead, I let my heart fall out of my chest onto the floor. I didn't have the strength to pick it up and stuff it back in.

My heart had turned black and sour. Soiled from the torture of whatever power above had rained down onto me like hundreds of poisonous stingers.

My life was over. I wasn't going to be the same person ever again, I couldn't be.

Between the loss of my brother, and the loss of the man I had come to love...

Air became my enemy, and I wished I could force it all away.

Avni

S
tanding in the foyer, the iodized scent of sanitized plastic hit my senses. I stood frozen, staring aimlessly around the room.

The state ordered couches looked like they were built from cement, the thin cushion resting on top acted as a cheap trick to insinuate comfort. Fake plants rested in every corner, the terracotta bases all identical and lacking design.

I had no idea where to go, or if I even wanted to go any further than the main entrance.

Breathe. You need to do this.

Levi's mom had said I should see him while I still could. What did that mean?

I didn't know if I had the strength to do it.

What if it's already too late?

Taking a labored step to the front desk, I patted my swollen eyes from the gallons of tears I shed.

I didn't want to think of this being the last time I might ever see Levi. Yet, I also knew I would have given anything to have one more hour with Kevin, one more time to touch him, to smell him.

There was no going back, distance had sealed my time with Kevin; I couldn't pass on the chance to say goodbye to Levi.

Goodbye... Don't think about that yet.

This was something I needed to do. Not coming would've been wrong, and I knew I'd regret it for the rest of my days if I didn't.

At least I could tell our unborn child he slipped into heaven knowing he had a baby, knowing that I...

I love him.
Clutching a hand to my chest, my heart began to tear and break away.

“Can I help you?” The woman with shoulder length blonde hair shifted in her seat, fingers steadily resting on the keyboard. Her eyes drifted around my face, sipping on the slowly fading bruises and swelling.

“Um, yes, I'm here to see Levi Hite.”

Her fingers wildly tapped against the keys, brows scrunching together. “Miss, I'm sorry, but he's in intensive care. Are you family?”

No, but I'm carrying his child. Does that count?

“Well, no, not exactly. But his mother called me and asked me to come.”

“I'm sorry, Miss.” Pursing her lips, she folded her shoulders over. “But right now, they're only letting family in to see him.”

“Please, you need to let me in. I have to see him, it's important.”

“I'm sorry, but I can't.”

Leaning in over the desk, I read her name tag. “Joanne, look, I understand the rules, but I have to see him. This might be my last chance to, I need to do this,
please.”

“I understand you're concerned, but I'm sorry—”

“Avni?” The familiar woman's voice claimed my attention, cutting off the secretary.

“Yes.”

“I'm Levi's mom, Diane.” Before I could speak, the woman had her arms wrapped tightly around my neck. Her frail frame yanked me in hard, squeezing me in an embrace only a mother could have. “This way, I'll take you to him.”

I didn't spare another glance at the woman behind her desk. I understood completely she was just doing her job; even if I was tempted to jump the counter, shove her out of the way and read the room number he was in.

“What happened?” I was trying so hard to not cry again. I didn't want to upset her anymore than I was sure she already was.

We were mirror images of each other, hovering behind glass on different planes. I could touch her hands, feel her pain, undeniably agree with her that the world was cold and lonely.

The woman had lost her husband when Levi was a baby, and now her only child was hanging on by a thread. She had to be tattered and beaten down, her soul getting sucked out by the devil itself.

The devil that I placed in Levi's hands. The devil I brought to his doorstep, the evil I had strung on his shoulders to carry for me.

Sniffling, Diane tugged a tissue from her purse, wiping her nose. The tip was raw and red, her eyes bloodshot and puffy from what looked like years of crying.

“All I really know is he was shot and stabbed, Honey. The police haven't given me too many details because they're still investigating. But there was another man there, who I guess was deceased, and then Levi.” The tears started to drip off her eyes, her chest lifting with the weight of a thousand pounds. “I don't know how this happened, I don't know why this happened.” Shaking her head, she sobbed quietly into her hands.

I know why, your son was protecting me. He saved me.

Inside, I wanted to scream the words, yell at the top of my lungs that this was my fault.

But Diane looked so delicate, so fragile. I couldn't grab the strength to tell her this all happened because of me.

The other man had to be Vito, that was who he had gone after. Was it possible that Levi had protected me till the end?

Had he given his life to make sure mine would go on?

I didn't want him to leave, I wanted him to stay.

But he did what he set out to do... He saved me.

And what if he didn't? What if it wasn't Vito?

There were a lot of men who worked for him, maybe it was one of them. Was it possible that a protector of Vito's empire had been the one to die?

Vito could still be out there.

Shuddering with the thought, prickles drove across my neck, piercing my skin like hot sparks that broke off the long fingers of flames.

Not knowing if he was still alive or dead in that moment didn't scare me as much as I thought it would.

All my emotions had turned to knives, ready to glide across the throat of my enemy.

If he was still alive, I planned on taking care of him myself. He wasn't going to get away with this.

Not this, no fucking way.

Reaching two double doors, Diane leaned in and hit the button. The doors buzzed open, and she headed straight through.

Following closely behind, my head was rash and blistered with images of what I might see. Would he still look like himself?

Would he be swollen and unrecognizable?

Would he be able to hear me?

There were so many questions, and my heart hurt knowing that in a single moment I would have my answers.

Diane's feet came to a halt, her shoulders perched back high. Nodding her head to a thick door, she said, “He's right in there, Sweetheart. Go on, take your time, I'll be right here if you need me.”

“You're not coming in?” Anxious eyes veered in my glare. I wanted to go see him, but I wasn't sure I was strong enough to go alone.

“I will be, but I want you to go, say whatever it is that's in your heart. That's only for you two, not for my ears. Go ahead, you'll be fine.” Brushing her fingers across my arm, Diane inhaled a long, deep breath.

“He can hear me? Is he awake?” A thin rope of string tugged the words from my tongue, a splinter of happiness clinging to the end.

“No, Avni, he's in a coma. But the doctor assures me he can hear us if we talk to him.”

“So he can wake up, right? If he can hear us, he can wake up.
Can't he?”

“They don't know. Right now, he can't breathe on his own, his brain is in a state of rest is what they said. But he might not come out of that rest, and the doctors said there's a good chance he won't. And even if he does, he might not be himself.”

Not himself? Traumatic brain injury, lack of oxygen, severe denial of blood to the head...

My mind began to ramble, running through a list of things I knew could end the life of the Levi I knew.

I was all too familiar with what a person could end up like after an injury like that,
way too familiar.

Working in the field I did, there were plenty of people who had fallen victim to a traumatic brain injury.

And none of them were the spitting image of who they used to be.

I didn't want that for Levi, it was the saddest sight to see. A man who bore the tags of a normal life, confined to a new life locked inside their own head.

No. No, not him. He'll fight it.

He has to!

Diane nodded her head, nudging me towards his room. “Go on, Honey. You can do this.”

Biting my nails, I stepped towards the door. Once inside, I was ready to run in the other direction, jump in my car and speed off to my safe place.

But if he could hear me, he needed to know about the baby. Even if he never woke up, he would know a piece of him was still here. A piece that would live knowing their father was a hero.

He was unselfish in so many ways, giving his life for our country, giving his life for me. He took that and wore it with pride, a golden pendant that hung weightlessly around his body.