My Soul to Keep (The Soul Keeper Series - Young Adult Paranormal Romance) (15 page)

Emily and her mother are escorted to my bed. Emily
wraps her arms around me.

“I am so glad you are okay Bren. Here, I brought you
a change of clothes.” She hands me a small bag.

“Thank you Emily and Mrs. Reed. You have no idea how
much it means to me for you to be able to come here and help me out like this.”
Mrs. Reed is already holding her hand up.

“Brennen think nothing of it. We are always glad to
help out a friend of Emily's. We are just so thankful you weren't hurt. And if
you need a place to stay, our home is yours,” she offers with authentic
sincerity. My home is still standing but I am certain it will be unlivable, at
least for a while. I could stay in Elijah's house since it is now empty. I take
the bag into the restroom to change. My pajamas reek of smoke and are stained
with soot. What was I thinking? Emily's clothes hang off of me loosely, but I
am thankful for them none the less. I wonder how my own closet fared.
 

Mrs. Reed drives Em and I back to my home. My jaw
drops when I pull into the driveway. It is even worse than I thought. The
sodden black ruins are a stark contrast to the cheery brightness of a new
morning. My beautiful lighthouse is torched half way down, the catwalk is gone,
and I can see inside my room from where I stand. I walk inside to look around.
Emily's mom tells us to be careful. The kitchen looks pretty good, as well as
the downstairs bedroom. I walk up the stairs to the landing and find the rugs
soaked with water. The office is black with char and soot. The ceiling up here
is burnt as well. In my room, the epicenter of the blaze, my mattress has been
reduced to ashes. The wall is eaten away and windowless now. My dresser, the
one I hid the journal in is burned beyond recognition.

Emily opens my closet doors. My clothes are
drenched, and reek, they are not salvageable. The whole house smells
horrible.
 
I walk out of the room as the
urge to vomit takes over. I squat down and hang on to the railing. Okay, just
breathe I tell myself, it can be repaired. I am alive and no one was hurt and
that is all that matters. Emily rubs my back.

“When do you expect your grandmother to return?” Mrs.
Reed asks.

“She is on her way back now, she should arrive this
afternoon,” I lie and Emily says nothing to contradict my words.

 
“Do you know
where to find the home insurance information? You'll need to start making a
list of everything damaged. You’ll need to get someone out here in the next day
or two to board up the windows and patch the roof so you don't get any more
damage,” Mrs. Reed says calmly, trying not to upset me further. I nod as I
rise, ready to deal with the tasks at hand. I go into the attic and am relieved
the fire didn't reach it. This half of the house seems to have gotten the least
amount of damage. I carry down the box that had all of the information that I
found out about the home when Elijah and I were searching for records of my
birth.

“Thank you again for your help. I think I am going
to take this next door and work on everything. Elijah's family had to leave
town suddenly and asked me to house sit until they returned. But thank you
again Mrs. Reed, for offering me a place to stay. You and your family are very
kind.”

“You’re welcome Brennen and please be careful. Let
us know if you need anything, anything at all. Okay?”

“Yes ma'am. Thank you both.” I take Emily's keys off
the hook by the garage and return them to her. At least I still have my car. I
see them to the door and lock up the house. I take the box and the journal next
door.

First I call the insurance company and start the
process. Then I call a local contractor and get someone to come out first thing
tomorrow morning to assess what needs to be done and at least make emergency
repairs. After spending the whole morning on the phone I am tired, hungry and
in desperate need of a shower. Shower first, I open a dresser drawer in
Elijah's bedroom and find rows of boxers neatly rolled and organized. These
will have to do. I take a t-shirt as well and head to his bathroom. I lather up
with his body wash, and sadness cascades over me. It smells like him, minus the
chocolate. I think of his cookie comment last night and smile to myself. The
smile fades in an instant; he's really gone now. What am I going to do? Quiet
tears leave my eyes and get washed away by the spray of the shower. The world
feels like it’s no longer spinning, like the sun and the moon are frozen in
place, deficient of his magnetic fulcrum.

I turn off the water and pull his fluffy white towel
around my body. My body is numb from loss, I no longer feel hungry, and I no
longer feel tired. I feel only his absence and the emptiness in my soul expands
infinitely. I dress in a daze and go outside, finding myself sitting on his
porch swing with no memory of how I got there. I listen to the wind caressing
mellifluous sounds from his bamboo chimes, mingled with the inexorable waves of
the ocean and fall fast asleep on the swing.

“Brennen?”
I hear Sam's voice call my name. I sit up from the swing still feeling lifeless
and groggy. “There you are, I called Emily and she told me I could find you
here, I was worried when I couldn't reach you. I am so sorry about your house.
Are you okay?” He takes a seat on the swing with me. I try and blink back the
sleep and stretch my torso to get my blood going again. I let out a sleepy yawn
in the process.

“Sorry I must have dozed off out here and left my
phone inside.” The rest was something my body needed to heal itself, if only
just to begin the clotting process on my wounded heart.

“Can I get you anything?” he offers. Oh why does he
have to be so nice? I feel horrible for what I did to him last night, even
though I didn’t actually
do
anything.
Although, there was definitely nuzzling and deep-seated longing involved. He
doesn’t deserve such cruel indignation. And now, now that I know without a
doubt that I love Elijah, I can't pretend that what I feel for Sam will ever
amount to anything more than a deep friendship. My wound has reopened with
fresh pain wincing through in striations. I release his hold on my hands and go
inside.

“I think I am going to make some coffee would you
like some?” I say without turning back to him.

“Uh sure, I'll take a cup, thanks.” I need to tell
him it’s over. I just can't bring myself to do it today. I've dealt with enough
in the last twenty-four hours. Hell in the last seventeen years for that
matter. Anymore heartache today will be the end of me for sure.

I put on a normal face before emerging from the
pantry in search of the coffee grounds and finally find whole beans in the
freezer. Great, it takes me ten minutes to locate the grinder and filters. I
hit the brew button, and listen with relief as the coffee begins to percolate.

“So what happened, do they think it was arson?” Sam
asks while he leans against the fridge.

“Yes but they are still investigating.”

“And Elijah just happens to leave town the same night.
Do they know that?” His words come as an accusation and my fingers twitch,
urging to slap the shit out of him. Just the mention of his name being evoked
lacerates fresh wounds on my heart.
 

“Elijah had nothing to do with the fire. He was long
gone when it happened,” I say with an edge to my voice.

“Sorry I just found it a bit odd last night that
soon after you left the dance, Elijah was nowhere to be found either. Peyton is
convinced the two of you have something going on.”

“Sam please, let’s not
do
this
right now. I have had a lot to deal
with today and frankly I'm exhausted.” I pour myself a cup and one for Sam too.
He averts his eyes from me and takes his cup, walking out of the kitchen. Great,
I've hurt his feelings. By not denying it I’ve confirmed it. I don’t want to
tell anymore lies though, Sam has done nothing wrong. There is not going to be
an easy way out of this I can see. I join him in the living room and we drink
our coffee in silence. After a while Sam stands up.

“I guess I'd better go home now. I'm sorry I lost my
temper with you Brennen. I just care about you so much. I wish you would just
talk to me.” He exits the front door without so much as a glance over his
shoulder. This house feels dead, only the quiet drone of the refrigerator disrupts
the silence.
 

     
I take
the journal to Elijah's bedroom. I find one of his t-shirts in the hamper. His
scent lingers on it and I change into it. The warm fragrance of chocolate mixed
with his cologne wafts up through the neck. I inhale its addictive aroma as a
trail of butterflies spiral into my stomach. God, how can he have this effect
on me without even being present?
 
I settle
under his sheet and find a random journal entry near the back of the book.

~
July 17, 2012 Journal of E.M~

I
know this summer has been hard on you. I wish there was a way I could bring
some happiness back into your life. You haven't smiled in weeks or laughed in
months. The light in your eyes has gone away. I fear that you are taking your
life for granted. Your dad wouldn't have wanted this life for you. I know your
grandmother is not well, and she was your constant, your North Star. But you
have so much more love to give. You could be surrounded by people who love and
care about you if you would only give them a chance to. You haven’t laughed in
a very long time. Your dad could make you laugh, maybe I can too one day.

“Why
don't you go for a swim in the ocean?” I whisper in your ear. It will make you
feel better. You love the ocean so much. That's it, good girl. I like that you
listen to me. Others I have kept have not been so well in tune with my voice
but you hear even my whispers. The water takes you in its arms as I would,
embracing your light and joy. It dances around you. Even a dolphin nearby is
aware of your presence in the water. He swims near you. I think he likes you. What
fascinating creatures. ~

This whole book is nothing but his thoughts captured
in time. He spent every waking minute with me for seventeen years. What is
stranger is seeing my life through his eyes. I see how sad and miserable I have
been since I lost my dad. I remember swimming in the ocean that day. I remember
how it became sort of a ritual for me. He didn't even know why he was
protecting me. I was just some random little girl, but he guarded me with a
fierceness that would be better suited for royalty than my sorted past. I read
about other attacks and how easily he fended them off. I find an entry about
the day the Lexus was totaled.

~
October 26, 2012 Journal of E.M~

~
Your driving has me apprehensive on a good day. Freeways and young drivers,
it’s so easy for the demons to flick these little death traps into one another
and cause so much havoc. I hate that you have to get on one every day to get to
your school. Is it really intelligent to apply make-up while going seventy
miles per hour, after all your lips are already perfect? You reached down to
the radio and put on a better song. Cold Play sings they will fix you. I told
you to “sing” and you did. You hear me so easily, good girl. You have a lovely
voice, like the chime of a silver bell, especially when you giggle. That is my
favorite sound in the whole world.

Today
of all days, your tire went flat. I had to grab the steering wheel when it
popped or you would have hit the wall. I flew out of the car to see if they
were responsible, and found them soaring down the highway at lightening speeds.
They're up to something or they would have disappeared already. Miles down the
road, I saw him. Malphas himself was leading the attack. The demon glided up to
the roof of a semi-truck and blew carbon monoxide into the cab. The truck
driver is going to lose consciousness and cause a deadly accident. Malphas
commands forty legions of demons in hell.
 
I could have stopped him but they would have just
send
in a replacement. I had a split second to decide my course of action.

I
flew back to you just in time to disable the OnStar system because I had to get
you out of that car. I knew the truck was coming for you specifically; the
president of hell doesn’t come out to play for just anyone.
 
And if you didn't get out quickly I would
have had to blow my cover and carry you out. But that would likely get us both
killed so that was not much of an option. “Get out Brennen.” Finally you heard
me; you gave up and got out.
 
I wrapped
my wings around you as the debris aimed its gnarly fangs at you. Once you were
safe from harm, I went after the demons. Their commander had already fled. However,
I was able to catch a pair of them by their wings. I tore them apart like
confetti, wanting to convey a serious message to any future endeavors. I crushed
their beaks into powder and blew it all straight into hell.

I
flew back to you just as my phone is buzzed in my pocket, it was you, how about
that!

Your
voice was shaky and full of angst.

I
told you I could be there in two minutes and asked if you were okay. Of course,
I knew you are okay. I was circling right above you. From up there I also saw
that I was careless. I had left the field of debris completely intact. It was
obvious. I hope you didn't notice it, which is the last thing I need. My only
mission aside from protecting you was to get you to trust me. I already felt
like I was hanging on to you by a thread.