My Soul to Take (Soul Keepers (Young Adult paranormal romance)) (5 page)

“
Brennen, don’t believe a word that demon spits out of his rancid mouth.”

“
He said I would never get my happy ending.” I look up to Elijah when I say this and we both turn to Nehemiah.

“
Brennen, trust me what you want now can and will change. You have a happy ending.”  Vague promises must be on a two for one special with him and Elena.

After Nehemiah leaves, Elijah tends to my care. He fills me up with warm soup which he surprisingly prepared from a can because I needed food in my stomach yesterday. He runs me a bath and sits against the bathroom door while I clean up. I don’t think he’ll ever be more than three feet away from me again. I emerge from the bath exhausted. I climb straight into bed and Elijah turns out the light.

“No please leave it on.”  He clicks the lamp back on and settles next to me on top of the blanket.

“
Let me help you sleep.” I nod into him and bury my nose between his pectoral muscles and breathe in his blissful aroma. Tonight he is pancakes dripping with syrup and bacon and salty sea air. Tonight he smells like my childhood.

I wake up in sheer panic crying out for someone to kill me. My heart is pounding harder than
I’ve ever felt before. A tympanic symphony explodes from within my body. Elijah’s hands draw me in as he softly whispers, “It’s okay, and you’re okay. I’m here.” I blink rapidly around the room trying to gather my bearings. I was back in the stone room begging for Malphas to end my life, begging for him to stop the pain. He just kept kicking me and stomping on me. I hugged my stomach and rocked in my bed. All the while Elijah tried to calm me. This became my new nightly routine.

The nightmares made me anxious all the time. I was always on edge, and always looking over my shoulder. I constantly listened for heartbeats even when Elijah reassured me we were alone.

Journal of E.M               February 3
rd
2013

I’ve
decided to continue writing in my journal but this journal will be for my eyes only. Not that I ever dreamed Brennen would get her surreptitious hands on my other journal. I had written it to her because for years I couldn’t talk to her in person. But now I can and although we spend hours talking I still want some thoughts to remain private. Especially now, knowing what I know. I really don’t understand why they would allow this.

I’ve
decided not to tell Brennen, although this decision has not come lightly. No, I’ve given this careful consideration. I don’t want to make her choices any harder than they have to be. I know what she will do when the time comes because I know Brennen better than she knows herself.

She’s sleeping on my chest right now. Her soft hair is tickling my nose. She snuggles her nose into my chest and takes in my scent. This is our time and
it’s ephemeral. We both savor every second we have like this, knowing that a change is coming, moving down on us like a speeding train and we are tied to the rails.

I can’t believe I almost lost her. She can never be left unprotected. I wasn’t thinking clearly, granting her request for privacy. I should have followed her at a distance, but that night was so hard. She came home so happy. I had been miserable all day being away from her. All I wanted to do was pull her in and pour my lips over hers. She is so easy to love. This order is frustrating and infuriating.

The night Nehemiah brought her back I was given a message from my creator. “Tell Brennen that I heard her.”  At the time I didn’t know what it meant. But the moment she was back in my arms I became fully aware. That barrier that I always felt when I got too close, was gone.

The order to stay away from her had been lifted. I kissed her neck to heal her and I knew right then I could really kiss her if I wanted to. Of course, at that moment I didn’t feel worthy of her. After all, I had let her out of my protection and she was dying in my arms. Every day from then on
I’ve been trying to be worthy of her love.

My order to help her get Sam back still stands and I know when she finds out why, she will choose him.  So that is why I won’t make the decision any harder for her. I can wait until i
t’s our time. I can’t kiss her soft lips, because if I did, I would never be able to give her up again. I would disobey my order. I would be banished. So for now, I can hold her in my arms each night. I can inhale the sweet subtle scent of honeysuckle that she always smells of. I can run my fingers over her silky arm. And I can keep this a secret.

***

Winter break is over and I’m thankful to be resuming my mountain of school work. I don’t do well having so much free time on my hands. Elijah and I are taking separate cars to school because we don’t want Sam to gain any more ideas about what is going on between us. Which is a whole lot of nothing. Since my return from the dungeon, Elijah has been on a strict BFF basis with me. And by my side like a tick on a dog. Although I cannot complain. I love having him anywhere near my body.

The sky is a sickly color of lilac and gray. A film of clouds stretches over the sky, too weak to rain, and not bold enough to snow. Elijah’s broad shoulders push through the crowd without having to touch a single body, they just part before him like the Moses and the sea. The leafless trees form crenellations in front of the school, as if nature herself will try to protect me inside these walls. It’s not what’s outside the school that has me so disheartened, it’s the prospect of a single wronged boy that waits inside.

As I sit in my first period class dreading the moment Sam walks through the door, I blink into the other red skied realm and see Elijah sitting in a usually empty desk in the corner. I wonder if he did this before when he was protecting me, always there whether I could see him or not. “Quit biting your nails, it will be fine.” He smiles up at me. I pull my fingers from my lips just as Sam rounds the corner. He gives a fleeting glance my way before turning his soft brown eyes to the corner.

If I didn’t know better I’d swear he was cutting murderous looks right into Elijah. I c
an’t help but read his thoughts in the brief instant he looks at me. New pain tears at my heart. “
God, there she is, my girl, the one I can never forgive and the one I will never forget. Why did I let her into my heart just so she could rip it out? Look at her, she is so damn beautiful. How am I going to get through this?”

His thoughts crush me and I excuse myself to the ladies room. I pause at the door and meet Sam’s eyes as the tears begin to spill over my lashes.
Why is she so upset? She got who she wanted.

I knew it would be hard seeing him, but I never thought it would be this bad. I really hurt him. It was wrong of me to do that to him. For the first time since it happened
, I’m actually regretting the moment Elijah and I spent together. I had a boyfriend who I loved, who loved the hell out of me, and I cheated on him. I lied right to his face. I know Elijah and I didn’t really do anything but hold hands, but the longing, the passion, were all something I would have kept hidden from Sam had he not called me out on it. And that makes me a horrible person. That makes me a cheater.

As I walk back to class I make up my mind to never lie to Sam again. I will make it up to him somehow. He was there for me when I needed him and even when I didn’t think I did. I will be the friend to him that he was to me. Even if he never forgives me.

I take my seat and Sam has firmly planted his nose in Homer’s Iliad, so I can’t hear his thoughts. My eyes go to Mrs. Cohen who is writing instructions on the white board. When she turns to face the class her thoughts stream to me as if I had Wi-Fi connecting our brains. I see a sadness in her eyes and I search for the reason, finding it rather quickly. Her six year old daughter Eva, is fighting for her life, dying of leukemia. Her depression and worry feed into me, taking up residence in any dark corner it can find. Curing cancer is one thing the In-between thinks I will play a role in somehow. Elena has not told me how that will come about yet though. Little Eva won’t last much longer and that breaks my heart.

Ari Campbell whips around to face me, her jet black mane falling over her shoulders like a silk scarf. I take a long look inside her head. Her mind is twisted and necrotic, nefarious at its very core. I knew she was mean, but I had no idea she was that depraved.

“Trouble in paradise?” she chews out, noting Sam sitting as far away from me as he possibly can. Her eyes show me that she witnessed firsthand the slap I landed on Sam’s beautiful face New Year’s Eve. She even reached out to him and tried to console him when I ordered him to leave. This action makes me despise her even more than I already do. She has made it her new goal in life to win Sam’s affections. Like that could ever happen.

“
So Ari, did your dad ever buy that mare or did he figure out that having an ass for a daughter was enough shit to shovel?” She rolls her eyes and turns around. I look up as she takes her belongings and moves to the empty desk behind Sam. Elijah evaporates with a disgusted look on his face that matches my own. Mrs. Cohen glares at Ari above her glasses, but is too depressed to object.

Ari curls her greedy little fingers around Sam’s bicep and whispers something to him and he cracks a smile. A wicked grin plays just on the edge of her devil-red lips as she glances over to make sure I’m paying attention.
Boom, I got your boyfriend, I got your man, I got em,
Sings in her head as a pop song. 

After class, Sam speeds out the door like his rear end is on fire with Ari in hot pursuit like she’s the extinguisher. I don’t care what she thinks she’s got, but my boyfriend is not one of them. He would never go for someone so cruel.

I see Emily in the hall and catch up to her. She never did return my call, so for all I know I’m minus two friends at the moment. She sinks a bit when she notices my presence.

“
Hey Em.” Emily looks up at me and thinks, “
How could she cheat on Sam? He is such a good guy. I never thought she could be so cruel.”
Great my best friend is roping me in with the queen B’s genre.

“
Um, hey?” The look of avoidance is clearly stamped on her face.

“
Do you want to go somewhere for lunch, I could really use a friend to talk to.” She is pissed off at me and wants to get out of going anywhere with me and she is still kicking herself for kissing Sam on New Year’s Eve right in front of me and her boyfriend.

“
I can’t, I’ve to tutor a kid in Chem that just moved here.” She lies.

“
Oh okay.” A tear escapes before I turn from her.

“
Bren, wait. If you really need to talk I can make time.” I wipe the waterworks from my eyes and give her a helpless smile. I’m a flipping hot mess. “I’ll meet you at the cafe.”

“
Okay, thank you.” Emily walks off to class and I stop by my locker to freshen up. Elijah appears out of nowhere, standing against the wall of lockers, a smoldering gaze just leaving his eyes.

“
What?” I ask him as he looks down at the floor.

“
Sorry it’s just you look beautiful when you cry.” I shut my locker with a bit too much force.

“
No one looks good when they cry Elijah.” He gauges my mood and quietly follows me to class. We have government together next and he takes his usual place behind me. I our class am the elected president and he is my V.P.

“
Do you think Jesson will show up?” Elijah just shrugs.  I can’t believe what I went through for what felt like weeks, chained up like a mutt in the backyard. I still want the full story on Jesson.  Mainly I want to know if he is the one who took me in the first place. He knows where I live which in of itself is scary. I think I even saw him at my party.  Perhaps he’s the very one who set my house on fire. He’s been an outcast for thousands of years, living with the faction of demons lead by the president of hell himself. He claims to want back into God’s grace, but what if that’s just a tactic they’re using to get close to us.

Mr. Potter calls the class together, and long after the bell rings, Jesson is a no show. In a gazillion years I would have never guessed the emo looking kid was a double agent for the demons and a mole for the cherubim. He seemed so normal, sweet even if I had to use one word to describe him. Mr. Potter orders us to our respective parties. The judicial branch to one corner the legislative to another to work. Elijah and I, the executive, left to our two center seats. I turn my desk to face him.

“I can’t believe I got to watch the real president in action for half a day. But I guess that is nothing new to you.” Elijah seems so normal most of the time, he doesn’t act like someone who is thousands of years old. He hardly typifies an angel.  

“
You, with your wonder still fresh and new, are even more of a delight to me than any of the revered world leaders I’ve guarded,” he whispers.
Except when he talks like that.
Who says stuff like that?

“
I think you’re biased because you love me.” I try to play off his comment but the blush in my cheeks must tell his widening eyes a different story.

“
I think I love you because you don’t know how special you really are. But I will remind you each and every day.” His smile sends warm ripples throughout my core. How in the world am I ever going to get back to loving Sam when the man I love is right here with me now, professing his feelings and rendering me speechless? Elijah must sense my unease and begins to apologize. I stop him.