My Steps Are Ordered (15 page)

“Pastor Ward, where have you been? You told us fifteen minutes. You've got a nighttime special with BET. What is more important than that?” Natalie was fit to be tied.

Keith gave the Hawk a sideways glance as he swooped into the limousine that was waiting for him at the curb. He decided to ignore her ramblings. Besides, he was used to it, and truth be told, it was what he paid her for, to keep him on schedule. He looked at his watch. They had plenty of time to make the interview. He closed his eyes. Gina sprang to his mind. Keith would return and see her, but this time, he'd be focused. His ardor would take a backseat tonight. Something was not right, and Keith needed to know what was going on.

He spoke to his mother often, and she'd never given him the impression that anything was amiss with Michael or Gina.

But Gina was miserable. It was written all over her face. Her mannerisms were that of a woman under duress, and he knew a lonely woman when he saw one.

Throughout the interview, he laughed, he entertained, but at the top of his mind was,
What's eating at Gina?

As soon as he was done, Keith raced out of the building and into the waiting limousine and directed the driver to take him back to Michael's high-rise. Now that his head was clear, Keith realized her sudden reappearance in his life wasn't by accident. She was in town for a reason, and he wasn't going to let up until he knew why.

The rush hour traffic had died down, so Keith made it back to Gina's in record time. He used his key card, which Michael had never taken from him, and entered the elevator. Within minutes, he was again pressing the doorbell.

Gina opened the door. She'd changed her top to a light summer sweater. Keith took off his dress shirt, tie, and dress shoes. He removed his belt next. He felt better already in just his white undershirt and pants. He could unwind.

He felt Gina's eyes on him as he made himself comfortable. He knew he was a fine specimen of manhood. Age had done nothing to diminish that, or so the ladies said. The slender patch of gray that lined his temples only increased his appeal.

Gina exhaled.

Keith basked in her feminine appreciation. He was a minister, but it still felt good to be seen as a man. However, he wasn't going to get sidetracked. He had been on the right track for too long and had pledged not to disappoint God, or himself.

“So, tell me all about how you ended up here, Pastor Ward,” Gina said. “I'm dying to know about your career change.”

Keith sniffed the air. He smelled food and gravitated toward the kitchen. Seeing the pots and pans on the stove, Keith lifted the lids. “Mmm.”

Gina laughed. “Men and their stomachs.” She waved at him. “Help yourself. I cooked dinner for you in case you were hungry.”

“How thoughtful, and yes, I am.” Keith found the necessary utensils and helped himself to some of the scrumptious feast Gina had prepared. He offered to dish up a plate for her, but Gina passed. She wasn't hungry and said she preferred to watch him enjoy his meal.

Declining the use of the table, they went into the living room. Keith headed for the armchair and rested his plate on his lap.

While eating, Keith spoke about the past. “Well, needless to say, after I left you, I was heartbroken—”

Gina broke in. “I didn't understand that. I didn't get how it was easy for you to love me, then leave me.”

Keith stopped and looked into her eyes. He took a deep breath. He knew desire when he saw it.
Behave yourself,
he cautioned himself.
Keep the conversation going.
“You want to know why I left after our night together?”

“Yes.” It was obvious from her tone that this was something that had plagued her. He knew that she must have awakened to find him gone and felt despondent. He hadn't even said good-bye. He had vanished.

“I knew that you wouldn't have been able to live with yourself if you'd run off with me,” Keith remarked. “That's not you. You're not made that way.”

“In retrospect, I guess you're right, but I was mystified and hurt to know that you had just up and left.” Her little voice pierced his heart. “I mean, I kept busy, volunteering at the hospital, reading to the children—Michael and I even started a foundation in Trey's honor—but that didn't dull the pain. You left.”

He explained in a gentle tone, “Gina, I had to. You even told me you chose Michael. Trey chose Michael. Would you have changed your mind, or would you have suffered from the Lot's wife complex?”

“Huh? I'm lost.”

“You know, the whole ‘looking back and regretting' thing.”

“Oh,” Gina said.

“So I came back to New York a broken man,” Keith said, continuing his story. “And for the first time in my life, I didn't know what to do with myself. Here I was at the pinnacle of my career, a senior partner in one of the most respected and prestigious law firms in the city, but when I opened my door and entered my home, I realized that I wasn't happy. I felt empty and hollow. I was a wreck.”

Gina remained silent, but he witnessed her eyes welling up with tears.

“So I called my job and resigned.”

“What?” Her mouth hung open. “You've never struck me as the type who'd take such a risk without a concrete plan.”

Keith laughed in agreement. “Well, I did! I was out of my comfort zone, but I knew that I'd gotten all I needed from my job. I didn't hesitate for one moment.”

Gina was stunned by his bravery, and told him as much.

“My confidence in my decision lasted a month. I started to second-guess myself and wondered if I should crawl on my hands and knees and beg for my job back.”

She cracked up at his words. “You're so descriptive. I can visualize you doing that too.”

“It reached the point where I was sitting and twiddling my thumbs. I had nothing to do. Then I started reading the Bible you gave me. At first, it was because of sheer boredom, but the Psalms and the profound truths in the verses fascinated me. I started on what I call a Bible fast. I ate, drank, and slept with my Bible. I feasted on Proverbs. I was taking notes and studying. It was great, Gina.”

Gina lifted her hands toward him. “Your enthusiasm is contagious. There's such joy reflected in your voice, and I can feel it bubbling over. Listening to you makes me a little envious. I would love to feel that exhilaration. Compared to your exuberance, my life feels . . . stagnant.”

“This joy I have comes from God. His words were my lifeline. I soaked them up. I mean, I would put the Bible down, but it was like the verse said, I began to hunger and thirst after a better and more fulfilling life. I was doing well until I came across Romans 10:9 and 10:00. Is there a Bible here?” Without waiting for her response, Keith sprinted into the master bedroom to hunt for a Bible.

Gina shook her head at his brazenness.
I guess he's made himself quite comfortable in Michael's home.
But that was nothing unusual. Keith had done the same thing years ago, when she'd first invited him into her home when she was single and living in Queens, New York. She'd taken a phone call, and during that time Keith had taken the liberty of going into her bedroom. Then he'd fallen asleep in her bed. She grinned at the memory of his nerve.

He returned, triumphant, with his find, jolting her out of memory lane.

Gina watched him leaf through the pages with the assurance of someone who knew what they were doing. She felt a brief pang of envy due to the fact that Keith knew so much about the Bible. Her Bible back at home was gathering dust on the mantel. She couldn't recall reading it more than twice.

“Here it is!” Keith exclaimed. His voice filled with strong conviction while reading the scripture.

While she listened, she felt the words hit her heart. She tried to remain settled in her seat, but the Word had hit its mark. Feeling a need for space, Gina jumped up off the couch and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Keith didn't pick up on her discomfort and continued with his soliloquy. “Those words sank into my consciousness and seeped deep into my heart, where I held all my hurt, anger, and disappointment. I dropped to my knees and began to holler. I talked to God and placed everything on the table. I acknowledged my sin and asked God to wash me. I asked Him to change me.”

She did not even try to hide the tears this time. She grabbed several tissues and wiped her eyes. Keith wanted to stop the tears.

“No, Gina, don't cry. That was the most joyous experience of my life. I felt a peace come over me and a calm feeling that I had never known existed. It's a miracle how you can start your day one way and end it another. I climbed in my bed that night a changed man.”

She lifted one eyebrow, remembering the intensity of his passion earlier that day.

He chuckled, with a sheepish grin. “I know. You're my exception, Gina. I've been a good boy otherwise.”

“I beg to differ. You were definitely a man earlier,” was her cheeky rejoinder.

Keith's dimples widened at her response, but he felt compelled to add, “Please don't think I'm a hypocrite.”

“I don't see you that way, Keith. We have something that's hard to shake.”

Keith nodded his head in agreement. “For me to deny our mutual attraction would be like denying my very existence.”

“Continue,” Gina said. She wanted to hear the rest of his testimony.

Keith returned to his story. “God's Word became a delight to me. I decided to find a church home. I read in the book of Genesis that God rested on the seventh day, so I combed the Internet and researched further scriptures in Hebrews. I concluded that Saturday was the day of worship for me. I'm not knocking anyone else's path to Christ, though. But the fact that Terence and Colleen also went to church on Saturday helped with my decision.”

Keith told her that he'd visited several churches before he found the Pentecostal church. They rejoiced and worshipped and talked about the Holy Spirit. Keith told Gina, “When I stepped through the doors, I felt right at home.”

At that time, the church had only about one hundred members at most. As soon as he was baptized, he started sharing the Word. He didn't know what it was, but he had a pressing desire to tell everybody about Jesus and His grace.

Pastor Nicholson saw his zeal and made him an evangelist. He continued to minister. His experience as a lawyer was an added bonus. Keith used the church to provide free legal services and to share the good news. His efforts paid off. He'd been shocked when only a year and a half after being saved, he was ordained a pastor.

Now Keith was on national television.

Gina had visited church a few times when Colleen invited her, but she'd also been on a Sunday. “Does it matter what day you go to church?”

Keith looked at Gina. He strove to reassure her. “I've been asked this question a lot. Gina, our main focus should be about Jesus and his enduring love for us. Romans says that we have to accept Him as Lord and Savior to get eternal life. He died for our sins and was resurrected. That's what is most important.”

Gina nodded her head in agreement. Keith was so right. He looked so sure about Jesus. His testimony rang with sincerity. Keith's church now boasted close to three thousand members and was featured on BET news.

Gina was impressed. “I, for one, am not surprised you jumped to the pinnacle of leadership in the church. You were always successful at whatever you did. I'll never forget the Marshall case and how you saved Penny from a lifetime in jail. So, now with God behind you, I can see how you'd end up on television.”

Keith smiled and confessed, “Well, BET asked me to consider taking a half-hour slot, and after prayerful consideration, I decided to take the job. And the rest, as they say, is history. I owe it all to God.”

Gina whooped and clapped her hands for joy. She was overjoyed that Keith had found contentment with his faith. The only area lacking seemed to be in his personal life. “The only thing missing from your life is a wife and children.”

Keith choked on his water. He looked Gina square in her eyes, “Gina, when you've had perfection, you cannot settle for anything else.”

Gina felt warm under his praise. “But it must be lonely,” she objected. Gina fiddled with the locket on her necklace.

“I won't lie to you. It is lonely at times,” Keith affirmed. “But I'm determined to wait for the one who is right. Let me point out that loneliness doesn't mean I'm alone. However, the board is eager for me to settle down and put the females out of their misery. But I'm not going to up and marry anybody because they feel I should.”

“I understand their plight, Keith. You're too charismatic, and your good looks are distracting. They want to spare you from getting caught up in the wrong situation with those young girls and their nubile bodies . . .” She trailed off.

Keith shook his head. “I'm set on this. I'll marry only the woman I can see myself with forever. You're the only woman who has given me that picture, so I know it's possible. I'd rather remain single until I find that again.” He reached out and took her hands in his. He stunned her with his next words. “Gina, you're the only woman alive who could ruin me. I'm a weakling when it comes to you. There's no worry about me getting caught with my pants down with another woman—and I mean that in a figurative and literal sense.”

She gulped. There was no response needed for his heartfelt declaration. Gina decided to tackle the reason for her visit. “So I bet it shocked you to see me after all this time.”

Keith flowed with the conversation shift. “I was flabbergasted. You were the last person I expected to see in the crowd.”

She licked her lips.
Here goes.
“I came to see you, Keith. I had to because, to be honest, I didn't have a choice.”

She saw the effect of her mysterious words. Keith's interest and instinctive concern had been stirred. With kind but curious eyes, he moved closer to Gina and prompted her to keep talking.

“Michael sent me,” she confessed.

“Michael?” He looked perplexed. That was not the answer he'd been expecting. “Why would Michael send you? Why wouldn't he come instead?”

“That's what I cannot figure out or understand myself,” Gina replied. “I've been trying to guess his motives, but I have no clue what goes on in Michael's head. He is not the same person anymore.”

She'd piqued Keith's curiosity with her woebegone intonation. She knew what he was going to ask before he even asked it. “What do you mean, Gina? Is he hurting you?”

“No. Well, not physically,” Gina hedged. Her body tensed up with discomfort.

“I see your hunched shoulders and clenched fists. Now, I'm concerned.” He held her. “Gina, you can tell me anything. I think you know that by now. You can trust me as I trust you, without question.”

Nodding, she took a deep breath. “It's not what he does. It's what he says and how he says it. Michael has become disingenuous, and I know I can no longer trust him. I know I violated his trust, but I didn't think he would make me pay for it for the rest of my life. I was so convinced we were at a good place . . .”

Keith's chin dropped. “That does not sound like my brother. He was always so quick to forgive, and he never held a grudge.”

“Well, the Michael you know has changed. He's bitter and cold and . . . different. I can't put it into words, but I know it and I feel it.”

“Have you spoken to him about it?” Keith asked. He had a sneaky suspicion about what was eating away at Michael, but after all this time Keith wondered if he should let sleeping dogs lie.

The truth shall set you free.

He heard the thought. He remembered the last time he'd been given that warning. He had not heeded it then, and he didn't heed it now. Though the Spirit urged Keith to clear the matter up, he kept his mouth shut.

He knew Gina would be hurt and furious over his deception, but he couldn't tell the truth. He couldn't tell her he was Trey's father. He couldn't tell her about Michael's infertility. It was something he felt Michael should man up and do.

Gina sighed and returned to the matter at hand. “Michael sent me here to get you. He was most persistent about that. For my sake, I hope you can come back with me.”

Keith heard the desperation in Gina's tone and surmised that though she wasn't saying so, Michael would make things unpleasant for her if he did not return with her. “I don't relish being Michael's pawn, but for your sake, I'll go. I'll book my flight.”

“Michael took care of all the arrangements, and he gave me an open-ended ticket for you,” Gina replied while reaching over to grab her pocketbook. She started scouring through it for the plane ticket.

He felt anger toward his brother rise within him when he saw the visible relief on Gina's face and her desperate search for the plane ticket. Her gratitude was evident.

She fixed him with an anxious gaze. “I know it's short notice, but can we leave next week?”

“Yes, I can arrange my schedule.” Though he agreed, Keith felt uneasy. “Gina, is there more?”

She nodded her head in the affirmative, but he could tell she wasn't ready to tell all. “Yes, but I can't talk about it now. Please understand.”

Keith stood, ambled over to the windows of his brother's penthouse suite, and looked out. He felt anger. The old demons of guilt attacked his being. It was his fault that Gina was now in misery. He was the one who had to have her. Caught up in his thoughts, he ground his fist into his palm.

Gina must have felt compelled to walk over to him and make a physical connection. She placed her hand on his arm. Keith turned to face her. He didn't try to disguise the torture riding his senses. She lifted her hands to smooth his brows, and then placed her palm against his cheek.

Keith closed his eyes and leaned his head into her hand, much the way a pet would seek comfort. He felt the warmth resonating from her hand ease the thoughts running rampant in his head. She moved her hand and put both hands on his head. Keith opened his eyes.

Their eyes locked. She shivered from the impact and broke contact.

Oh, no, Gina.
Grabbing her hand, he pulled her into him to comfort her as one friend would another. He could tell when her fears dissipated. Her shoulders relaxed and her stiff posture loosened. He didn't know what Michael had up his sleeve, but he knew without question she would be safe as long as he was there. He'd make sure of that.

After Keith left, Gina returned to the window to people watch and take in the night scene. She reflected on Keith's conversion experience. There was such a light in his eyes, which drew her in.

The shrill ring of the suite's phone startled her out of her reverie. She scurried over to answer the call. As expected, it was Michael. He'd called the apartment phone to make sure she was there. Gina rolled her eyes, even though she knew her husband couldn't see her.

“Hello.”

“Hello, wife,” Michael chirped on the other end. “How are things?”

Gina sucked her teeth and mumbled under her breath but kept up the farce. “The weather is beautiful, and I've settled in.”

“That's good,” Michael said. “Was the car service acceptable?”

“Yes,” Gina answered, hating how their conversation was stilted and awkward.

“What about the penthouse?”

“Everything's fine, Michael. The renovations you had done are impeccable, exquisite,” Gina sighed. “I've made contact with Keith, as you ordered. Are you still in England? I miss Trey and . . . I miss Trey.” She had to be careful with her words.

“Glad to hear you've gotten in touch with Keith,” Michael said, ignoring her question.

But Gina wouldn't be swayed from the topic foremost in her mind. “Are you coming home?” she asked again.

“I told you I've scheduled the flights. We're leaving for Georgia tomorrow. Stop acting like I'm a kidnapper.”

But you are,
her insides screamed. It had been three months, and she was a desperate mother at her wit's end. “Well, let me talk to him.”

“All in good time,” Michael said.

His “All in good time” grated on her last nerve.

Frustrated, she hung up the phone in his ear. She hoped he liked the sound of the dial tone. It was better than telling him what she wanted to say. The phone rang again. However, this time she ignored it.

Gina pondered her life. When had things between Michael and her soured? He had been so forgiving of her past affair with Keith, and for the first few months, they'd been in heaven. Then, overnight, he'd changed. He'd packed them up and moved them to a whole other country, away from family and friends, away from Colleen—away from Keith. Which was pointless, since distance wouldn't fix what was in her heart.

Gina didn't know if he had realized he could never get over her sleeping with Keith and thus shut down. Gina had been deceived into thinking Michael had given her another chance. He had convinced her, but how wrong she had been.

If pressed, Gina could not articulate exactly how Michael had changed. He was jovial. He laughed at the right times and made good conversation, but that all changed at bedtime. Then Michael would become cold and unfeeling. He would turn away from her if she took the initiative and pursued intimacy between them.

Gina cried herself to sleep constantly, feeling undesirable and unwanted. The worst part was she had no idea why. She had asked Michael over and over why he'd turned against her, and he declined to answer. She couldn't pinpoint when it happened, but something had gone wrong somewhere. She believed something was eating away at him, but he refused to tell her. She had done everything she could think of to rattle him. But he never caved.

She strolled over to the window. She couldn't help but think of the great times she and Michael had had together back when they were dating. He'd been so charming. But Michael had transformed into a monster. It wasn't that he abused her. In fact, he'd never laid a hand on her. But, somehow, from his tone and mannerisms, Gina discerned that she could not trust him.

After months turned into over two years of torment, Gina had resigned herself to accept what she could not change. Colleen had been her sounding board and had told her that she was praying about it, but Gina had not seen any fruits from her labor yet.

Sometimes, Gina considered severing the ties between them for good. But Michael was a magnanimous and doting father. He had been the best thing for Trey during his recovery. She could sacrifice her happiness for the moment.

Then, out of the blue, Michael did the unimaginable. He took her offspring hostage. He sent her back to the United States alone—using the separation to manipulate her into doing whatever he wanted.
Who did that?
she thought. Gina furrowed her brows.

Well, maybe
hostage
was too strong a term, but Michael had not given her a choice. Instead, he had bought her a plane ticket and commanded her to persuade his brother to return with her on the pretext of mending fences. Gina suspected Michael had a hidden agenda, but she had no idea what he had planned.

Thinking about her husband, she felt chills run up and down her spine. She rubbed away the goose bumps springing up on her arm.

Michael was being downright creepy.

She ran her hand through her pixie cut. It was her sole act of defiance. Michael loved her hair long. She'd chopped it off to get a reaction. Instead, he'd recommended that she color it.

Gina sighed. Of course, she'd complied.

That was the scary part. Gina felt she had become a pawn in a higher scheme, but she couldn't figure out Michael's angle. Gina had tried without success to encourage Michael to contact Keith himself. But he'd been adamant about following his plan.

 

 

Michael completed his call with Gina, satisfied with the outcome. He was pleased she'd made contact with Keith. As he'd counted on, his brother was still hung up on his wife. Michael smiled.

So far so good.

Keith's obsession with his wife had become useful, and Michael anticipated using it for his benefit. His brother would pay.