My Sunshine (5 page)

“For what?”

“Her bother is having a cookout tomorrow afternoon and
we’re going.”

Chloe
nodded and yawned. “Have fun. I’m going

upstairs to take a nap. What time are you leaving?”

“By six.”

“Wake me up before you go if I’m not awake already.”

“Okay. What are you doing tonight? Do you have to work?”

She shook her head and yawned again. “I’m going out to
dinner with John.”

“Yeah? Be careful. I told
Rebecca about him. She’s

familiar with that group he sings with. She says he has a
reputation for partying, drinking, sex. Just be careful and don’t do anything stupid.”

Chloe
shook her head. “Don’t worry about me. He was nothing but a gentleman this morning.”

“I’m just telling you what I heard,” he said.

“Okay,” she said
.
It ought to work out fine then. You’re a whore and he’s a playe
r
.

She left the garage and headed upstairs to her room
.
I’m just tired. That’s why this voice is back. If I get some sleep it will go away
.
Once upstairs she stopped in the bathroom an
d
popped two small pink pills in her mouth. She thought abou
t
taking a third for good measure, but decided against it. Sh
e
went into her room and sat on her bed. She tore into the CDs.

She loaded three of them, including the Christmas one, into her
stereo and pushed PLAY before lying down on her bed with the CD covers spread out in front of her. The first song had barely finished before she was fast asleep.

John
had just gotten settled on the bed when his cell phone started ringing. The sound surprised him. He realized that it hadn’t rung since he had gotten to Canton, and his was a phone that rang at an alarming rate.

He glanced at the display before pushing the TALK button
to make sure it was someone he wouldn’t mind talking to. It was Dennis, one of his bandmates.

“What’s up, man?”
John said.

“Just wondering about you.”

“What about?”

“Cliff is here and he was just on the phone with
Garby and she mentioned that you weren’t there yet. Mike said you left his place yesterday. Where are you?”

John
frowned. He wasn’t crazy about the relationship between his baby sister and Dennis’s little brother. He shook the thought out of his head and tried to focus on the reason for Dennis’s call. “I’m stuck in Canton, North Carolina. The Lexus crapped out.”

“Why didn’t you just rent a car and go on home?”

John chuckled. “I’m not even sure this little town has a place to rent cars. It’s tiny.”

“Then what are you doing there?”

John smiled. “I’m having a really good time.”

“A girl.”

“Yeah. My car should be ready tomorrow and I’ll head on back, but for right now, I’m going to stick around here and have a good time.”

“Alright, dude. Be careful.”

“Always. Bye, D.”
John clicked off the phone. I suppose I should call home and let them know where I am. He dialed his parents’ home number.

“Hello,
John dear,” his mother answered.

“Hey, Mom. What’s up?”

“Oh, Fred from the station just called and asked me to come in and fill in for the weekend girl. Can you believe that? Me? On the weekend news?”

Her snotty tone turned
John’s stomach. “The weekend girl, that’s Tina Matthews, right?”

“Yes, I suppose that’s her name, but what on earth does that
have to do with me doing the news? Unless the reason she can’t come in is because she’s with you.”

John
shook his head, already sorry that he had even called. “I’ve only met her the one time.”

“Like that makes a difference.”

“Damn, Mom. I haven’t even made it out of North Carolina yet. I’m not there hiding from you and balling the weekend girl just so your weekend gets screwed up.”

“You will not talk to your mother like that.”

“Then let me talk to Garby.”

“She’s not here. When are you coming home? I was
counting on you to do the telethon Monday.”

“No, Mom. I can’t do that. I told you. You never ran it

through with Carl.”

“I don’t need to ask
Carl. I’m your mother.”

“He’s my manager, and if you want me to sing on TV, then
you have to ask him.”

“I can’t believe you,
John. I thought…”

He clicked off the phone in the middle of her sentence. He
didn’t want to hear her lecture. Right now, he wanted to catch a nap and gear up for another date with Chloe.

“Chloe,” Daniel called, rapping on the door frame around the open bedroom door. “It’s six o’clock.” He stepped into the room and picked up one of the Parrison CDs. “Where’d you get this?”

Chloe
sat up on the bed and rubbed her eyes. “John bought them for me.”

“I see. Hey, Justin called while you were asleep.”

Chloe froze. She hadn’t asked Justin to cover for her the night before. “Yeah?”

“He said you weren’t there last night. Where were you?”

“Where do you think I was?”

“My guess is that you were at the motel with that
John.”

Chloe
nodded. “I was, and I’m going back tonight.”

“You slept with him?”

“Yes, Daniel, I did, and I’m hoping to do it one or two more times tonight.”

“I just don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Why not? I’m already damaged goods.”

Daniel
shook his head. “Don’t talk about yourself like that.

You don’t even know him, and you’ll probably never see him
again.”

“I’m just living up to the reputation everyone already has of
me.”

“Not everyone. Ray thinks the world of you.”

Chloe sighed. “I’m seeing John again.”

Daniel
shook his head again, but didn’t speak. He turned and left the room.

Chloe
got up from the bed. Her knees felt wobbly. She held her hand in front of her face and noticed it shaking.

“Damn,” she said under her breath. She reached for her
cigarettes on the nightstand suddenly realizing how desperately she needed one. She had only had one smoke since meeting John, way below her pack-a-day habit. She sat back down on the bed and concentrated on smoking. She felt better as the nicotine entered her system.

After burning through two cigarettes, she gathered her
things for a quick shower. She didn’t want to be late.

John
was waiting outside his hotel room door when Chloe pulled up in his Lexus. She rolled down the passenger’s side window and he leaned inside. “This is a nice ride you've got here.”

She smiled and lowered her sunglasses on her nose.

“Would you like a ride?”

He opened the door and hopped in. He leaned over the
middle console and kissed her. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” she replied.

They quickly decided on a restaurant, but changed their mind when they saw the over-crowded parking lot. Instead they placed a to-go order and carried the food back to the hotel.

“This is more like it anyway,”
John said as Chloe set the food out on the table in the hotel room. He found some soft music on the radio and dimmed the lights.

They lay there in silence for a few moments. He picked up
her hand and intertwined their fingers. “I have to leave in the morning.”

She nodded. “I understand. You’re a busy man. This

weekend has been wonderful. I’ll never forget you.”

“Hey, you make it sound like we’re never going to see each
other again.”

“Are we?”
Chloe didn’t want to sound too hopeful.

“I’ve got your number. I’ll call you.”

                       Chapter Three

 
H
er story had started as all do, in the beginning.

Therapy had taught her that the things that had
happened long before she had memory of it shaped who she would become. No, it hadn’t caused her disease, but it certainly hadn’t helped it. Actually, the doctors had never been able to get a straight answer about that, not that it mattered anyway.

What
was, was, and of course, it couldn’t be changed.

She had come into the world too soon, born seven weeks
early after spending a torturous thirty-three weeks engulfed by amniotic fluid that was most likely spiked with vodka, her mother Cassandra’s drink of choice. Her first month was spent in the hospital fighting pneumonia. The doctor there had given her a forty percent chance of survival.

 
It would be nice to say that she beat the odds because a devoted mother and father sat by the bedside day and night, praying that she would get better. The truth was that her father walked out two days after she was born, unable to deal with the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. It was easy for him to leave, he wasn’t married to her mother and he wasn’t the father of the other kid.

Her mom made an appearance at the hospital about once
every three days, and she usually showed up smelling of alcohol and dragging a sad little six-year-old behind her. The nurses called Child Protective Services, but according to the investigating social worker, there was no problem in the home, except, of course, the stress that came with a single mother trying to hold down a job, take care of a small son and having a sick newborn in the NICU. Cassandra had a steady job, the house was adequate and clean, and Daniel was in school everyday.

Chloe
had gone home after four weeks, and for the first few months she spent her days with a kindly neighbor, Mrs. Smith, the mother of three teenagers. Mrs. Smith and her husband had fallen in love with the baby and Daniel, and often offered to keep them overnight for Cassandra. When Chloe was a year old, Cassandra had left her children with the Smiths for two weeks without calling, and Mr. and Mrs. Smith attempted to have her rights as a parent terminated. Cassandra took the children and moved across the state to the smallest mountain town she could find, and Canton became their home.

They knew no one.
Cassandra found them a room in a boarding house and found herself a job as a waitress at Pacey’s Grill. She worked the day shift, while Daniel was in school and Chloe was in daycare. Not long after moving there, Cassandra met Peter Boston, a mechanic who owned his own shop. Peter, who was in his mid-forties, had never been married, and he quickly fell for the twenty-six-year-old Cassandra and her two children.

Although
Cassandra didn’t share Peter’s romantic feelings, she could see the financial potential of a relationship, and within six months the couple were married. Peter moved out of his apartment above his shop and bought a house in town for his new family. His first order of business was to formally adopt Daniel and Chloe, children that he adored. Being married to Peter afforded Cassandra the luxury of quitting her job, but instead of using her days to raise her children, she used her time to raise a bottle to her lips.

Peter
knew his marriage was a sham, but he loved his children and he didn’t want to take the chance of losing them if he asked Cassandra to leave. For the next nine years, he endured the humiliation of having a wife who was known as the town drunk and tramp and thought nothing of taking off for weekends at a time with no word.

Chloe
and Daniel, on the other hand, thrived under Peter’s love and supervision. He took them to church, taught them to swim, and enrolled them in scouts and Little League sports. He was a great father. When Chloe was ten and Daniel sixteen, Peter left the house to help out a customer whose car was stuck in a snowdrift. The curvy steep mountain roads are barely suitable for driving in the summer, but on that icy day, Peter was unable to stop his truck as it spun out of control.

Chloe
and Daniel were devastated. Cassandra was devastated upon the reading of the will when it came to light that Peter had left his estate to his two adopted children. Cassandra got nothing.

Within a few weeks, a man by the name of
Duke was Cassandra’s new li
v
`
e-in boyfriend. Less than a year later, Duke became Chloe and Daniel’s stepfather.

Chloe
hated him. He took tremendous joy in teasing Chloe. He called her “Chloe-banana” and would chase her around the house, pretending like he was trying to kiss her. He would hide in closets and the shower, and jump out when Chloe was unsuspecting. Neither he nor Cassandra worked, and they spend their days sleeping and their nights drinking. They lived off the Social Security check Cassandra received every month, and some sort of disability that the government had decided Duke was entitled to. That money all went to support the habits of Cassandra and Duke.

Daniel
had two jobs, one at Pacey’s Grill as a dishwasher, and another at the Walmart in nearby Asheville as a third-shift stockman. His money went to pay the utilities and buy the groceries and what few personal items he and Chloe needed.

Peter
’s death and the entrance of Duke into Cassandra’s life had a traumatic effect on Chloe. She secluded herself in her room. Most days she would go to school, but she would return to her room as soon as she returned home. Daniel brought her meals to her. She stopped caring about her appearance, and would go weeks without bathing or washing her hair. She would wear the same jeans and sweatshirt for days, even in the summer months. She could go for weeks hardly eating, and even longer without speaking to anyone.

Then there was the flip side to her. After spending weeks in
solitude, she would emerge and be violently angry. She would curse and scream for no reason. She seemed to take pleasure in destroying her mother’s property, especially her clothes. She slashed the tires on Cassandra’s car and used a knife to scratch the words “bitch” and “whore” into the paint. But as bad as Chloe could be, she was never that way with Daniel.

Daniel
knew that she was depressed and still suffering from Peter’s death. He knew that she didn’t get along well with Duke, but his hands were tied. In addition to working two jobs, he was taking auto mechanics classes at the community college. It was his plan to re-open Peter’s shop. He wanted to take Chloe to the doctor and get her some help, but she refused to go. He surmised that it was just puberty, and prayed that she would grow out of it.

When
Chloe turned sixteen, she changed. Daniel thought that his prayers had been answered. She seemed to be on a more stable equilibrium and once again took pride in her appearance. She took a job as a waitress at Pacey’s and starting dating a football player, Trevor. Things seemed to be going

well.

Chloe had known for some time that her classmates thought of her as “weird.” It didn’t bother her. Nothing bothered her much except watching Daniel wear himself down by working so hard. Taking the job at Pacey’s was her way of helping ease his burden. She wanted a paycheck. She had no intention of getting a boyfriend.

Trevor
was a dishwasher at Pacey’s, just like Daniel had been at his age. He was a popular student in the high school, and Chloe was confused why he wanted anything to do with her. For weeks, she tried to ignore him, but he was persistent in his pursuit of her.

One night after work,
Trevor cornered Chloe at her car and kept her there talking. He was stalling until all of the other employees had left. Once they were alone, he made his move.

“
Chloe, come on,” he said, pressing his body against hers and pushing her up against the door of her car. “I know you want to get with me.”

She shook her head. “No, I don’t.” She tried to push him
away. He grabbed her wrist.

“Chloe, don’t be stupid. No one else is ever going to give it to you. You’re so fucking weird.”

He’s right. You’re so fucking weird.

“I don’t care,” Chloe said. “Leave me alone.”

Trevor
laughed. “You don’t really mean that, baby.

Everyone in town knows your mother is a whore. I’m sure you
are, too.”

“I’m not!”

Trevor twisted her wrist. “Oh, but I know you are.” In a flash, he twisted her arm around her back and pinned her to the car. He smashed his mouth into hers. Chloe felt the bile rise in her throat. Trevor pulled away and eased up on his grip.

“Are you ready?” he asked. “Where do you want to do
this?”

“Ready for what?”
Chloe mumbled.

Trevor
pressed his free hand between her legs. “Ready for me. We can go back to my place.” He pulled her hand down and pressed it to his own crotch. “See how ready I am for you,”

he whispered. “I know you want this.”

Do it, Chloe. I’m telling you to do it. You’re worthless and you’re lucky to get this offer. Do it and don’t resist. Do it!

Chloe
closed her eyes and then opened them again.

“Okay,
Trevor. I’ll have sex with you. We can go to your place.”

Trevor
seemed surprised at her sudden turnaround, but he didn’t question it. He had driven her back to his empty house and she lost her virginity.

From that point on,
Trevor knew that he could have full control of her. For the next several months, Trevor treated her as his personal sex slave, calling her his girlfriend in public, but being far less than honorable to her in private. Chloe gave in to his every wish, because the voice in her head told her to.

Things just got worse for her. One Friday night, she and
Trevor were hanging out in his basement when a few of his friends stopped by. She thought it was a coincidence. She didn’t know that Trevor had arranged the whole thing. He had been telling his friends how easy she was and how she would do anything he asked her to. It was true, and by the end of the night, Chloe had been passed around to seven of Trevor’s friends.

In the weeks that followed that night,
Chloe went downhill fast. She again resorted to hiding in her room. She would come out only when she was sure everyone was asleep. Early one morning, she misjudged and walked into the living room and in on her mother and Duke having sex.

Look at your mother the whore. See what you're going to
turn out lik
e
.

Embarrassed, confused and angry,
Chloe ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife from the counter. She ran out of the back door and slashed the tires on Duke's fully restored 1963 El Camino. She used the tip of the knife to scratch the glossy black paint.

Duke
ran into the back yard behind her just in time to see her putting the finishing touches on her work. He grabbed her by her long hair and slammed her to the concrete patio. "I'm going to kill you, bitch!" He lifted his booted foot above her head. She rolled away and jumped up. She was so pumped up on adrenaline that she didn't feel the pain searing through her head.

She waved the knife at him. "Try it," she said. He came at
her, and she lunged at him, cutting his arm. Duke grabbed his arm, screaming expletives at her. Cassandra ran out the back door with a dishtowel. She wrapped it around his arm and pulled him toward his pick-up truck.

"Let's go,"
Cassandra said. "Let's get out of here and get Daniel. She's crazy." Chloe watched as the truck disappeared down the road. She turned back to the car and smiled at her handiwork. She was pleased, but not completely satisfied.

She looked around the yard. Her eyes found the perfect
target. Her eyes curled into another smile. She found a gasoline can and dumped the contents onto Duke's "garden."

She threw a lit match into the air above the plants.

Rebecc
a
She squealed and literally jumped up and down when she heard the "whoosh" and saw Duke's marijuana plants go up in flames. She watched it burn for a few seconds before returning to the house. Once inside her bedroom, she couldn't see the flames anymore but she could still smell it. An image of the fire flashed in her eyes.

Fire, fire
!
The voice screamed, filling her ears.

Chloe
ran to her bedroom door. It felt hot to her touch.

She saw the smoke coming into the room from under the door.

She flung open her window and jumped.

She spent a week in the hospital. She thought she was there
just mending a broken arm and leg, but the doctors wanted to keep her there to try and figure out why she would jump from a second story window of a house that wasn't on fire. And why Chloe would insist that it was.

She went home to live with
Daniel in his tiny apartment above the garage. Cassandra and Duke came in the middle of the night to clear out their belongings, never to be heard from again. Daniel fixed the tires on the El Camino, had a buddy fix the paint, applied for a new title and sold it to a collector for thousands of dollars. The doctors released Chloe from the hospital with an incorrect diagnosis of depression and a prescription for an anti-depressant.