My Unexpected Forever (21 page)

I
lose the contents of my lunch. Josie holds my hair back, just as she did when I had morning sickness with the twins. Every time an image flashes in my mind, I heave. I was so stupid to think that Harrison was genuine in his fondness of me. He only wanted one thing and apparently he didn’t just need that from me. The mere thought of him being with her brings up another round of the dry heaves. I’m out, empty. The burning in my stomach and chest are stark reminders of the amount of pain I’ve dealt with for over a year now. In one moment, Harrison brought it all back, rushing like water rapids and dragging me under.

I wash my mouth out and pat my face dry. I don’t want to look at Josie. I don’t want to see the sadness etched across her face. I know that look well, no need for a reminder. I leave the bathroom and head to my room. The two-bedroom suite Liam booked is a godsend, as it allows for privacy. Privacy that I didn’t think we’d need.

I fall onto the bed and bury my hands underneath the pillow. I sob into the pillow, allowing it to muffle the sound. I’m utterly and completely broken. I know now that I moved on too fast. If I had waited, I would’ve seen his true colors. He would’ve shown the
real
Harrison before too long. But no, I gave in. I pursued him, even though that was never my intention. I let him get close. I allowed him to woo me with thoughts of togetherness as a family. He baited me with my children. I was a fool to allow all of this to happen.

He’s hurt me, and he’s going to hurt my children. I can’t have a man like this around them. And to think, he had the nerve to tell me he never has any women around Quinn – that’s because he’d tell his mother.

I can’t believe I was so stupid to fall for his charm.

There’s a knock at the door. I sit up and drag my hands over my face roughly. I don’t care what I look like. This vacation is over. The sooner I get home, the better. A lot of things need to change.

Josie walks in with a bottle of wine and two glasses. Even though it’s the last thing I want to do, drinking to forget sounds like a damn good idea right now. She hands me my glass and sits down next to me. I bring the glass to my lips, hesitating for only a moment before tipping my head back and downing the sweet liquid.

I hold my glass out and she fills it again silently. I repeat my action, letting the wine drown my sorrows. Josie has yet to take a drink as she sits next to me, refilling my glass.

“Do you want to go home?”

I scoff. What kind of question is that? The sad thing is, I don’t even have an answer. I shake my head. “Yes and no. I don’t know what I want, except to go back and forget I ever met him.”

“Katelyn,” she says softly, but the underlying tone is there.

“Don’t you dare defend him, Josie. Just don’t. I should’ve never listened to you or Liam, and now look at me. He’s a lying bastard, a cheater, and I don’t have time for him in my life.”

“Katelyn, just listen to me for a minute.” She stands and places her glass and the wine bottle on the nightstand. She kneels, taking my empty hand in hers. “I’m not saying anything to defend anyone, but I think you need to look at this with clear eyes.”

“I am,” I bark out.

“You’re not. Something isn’t adding up. Liam wouldn’t lie to me, and he’s told me many times that Quinn’s mom is out of the picture –“

“Well, obviously Harrison is lying to Liam.”

“Oh Katelyn,” she says shaking her head. She stands and takes my wine glass from me. “I’ll call the airline and have our flight switched.” She’s closed my door before I can respond.

I never thought in a million years that my best friend would take the side of a man who just ripped my heart out.

N
othing
about my trip to California will ever make sense. The way Harrison treated me, the way he made love to me like I was the most precious person to him, and the way he told me that he wanted the world to know I had stolen his heart – all lies. He played me like he plays his drums, with perfection.

We’re a day early, and I know there will be questions. I’m neither ready nor willing to answer them. Josie drops me off in my driveway. I stand there while she pulls away. I stare at Mason’s truck, then my car. The girls’ toys have been picked up and the lawn mowed, probably for the last time this fall.

I drag my suitcase behind me and slide my key into the lock. Twisting the knob, I push the door open. I hate coming home to a dark house, but no one knows we’re back yet. I asked Josie not to say anything to Liam. I don’t want Harrison anywhere near me. It’s not that I need time to think. I just need time to compose what I’m going to say to him.

I flip on the switch. My lower lip quivers as my hand covers my mouth. Hot tears stream down my face. A
Welcome Home Mommy
banner hangs in my living room. There are flowers everywhere and a wrapped present on the table. I wipe my face angrily. Why did he do this? I touch the hand painted letters one by one. The girls have painted their names in the corner. I’m so tempted to take it down, but I can’t. It will break their hearts not to see it up tomorrow when we come home.

The slamming of a car door alerts me to his presence. Of course he’d be at Liam’s house. It was stupid to come home early. I should’ve stayed in Los Angeles by myself to figure this shit out.

The door is open and he’s there before I have a chance to lock it.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. I want to scream at the top of my lungs that he’s what’s wrong, but I don’t. I shrug and look away.

“Katelyn?”

I can smell his cologne the closer he gets. He’s tentative, moving with caution. Maybe Alicia called and told him about our little run-in. Sure funny how she knew where to find us.

“I met your girlfriend at the spa.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he says, stopping his assent toward me. “I mean other than you.”

“I’m not your girlfriend.”

“What’s going on, Katelyn?” he asks again. This time he steps behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“Don’t touch me,” I roar as I spin around. I place my hands on his chest and push. He stumbles briefly before catching himself.

Harrison looks at me with confusion. God, he should get a fucking Oscar for this performance. I want to rip his hat off and throw it away, but I don’t want to touch him. I don’t even want to look at him right now.

He looks at me, his eyes glistening. I can’t look at him. I shake my head and turn away. “You need to leave.”

“Why?” he asks. His tone is uncertain, questioning.

“Because I said so, I don’t want you here anymore.”

“Please, Katelyn, I’m freaking out here. You’re home early and something is clearly wrong.”

“Like you don’t already know. Did you have this planned from the beginning? Seduce the poor, single mom who just lost her husband? Was that your plan? Why don’t you tell me how it’s supposed to end, so I know what I should expect?”

Harrison rubs his hands over his face. He takes off his hat and throws it on the couch. He crouches and fingers the ribbon on the present sitting on the table. He’s too calm for me right now. Why isn’t he fighting for me?

“Baby –“

“I’m not your baby,” I reply, grinding my teeth together.

Harrison stands and comes over to me, backing me against the wall. “I don’t know what the hell has changed your mind, but you need to tell me what the fuck is going on here, Katelyn. Josie showed up bawling her fucking eyes out and you’re not with her. In fact, you’re supposed to be at the fucking spa getting pampered and shit, but you’re here and something is wrong. So tell me, God damn it, so I can fix it.” His voice is soft and caring, but I know he’s doing this on purpose. This is the way he got me into this bed.

“I met Alicia.”

Harrison’s face turns pale and to stone. He straightens and backs away from me. Now that he knows I know, he has nothing to say. He stands there, not staring at me, but the wall behind me.

“How would you even know who she is?”

I shrug, “I didn’t, she found me,” I reply sarcastically.

“How?”

“I don’t know, Harrison, I’m assuming you paid for her day at the spa too.”

Harrison shakes his head. His finger starts playing with his lip. He looks at me, his eyebrows squished together. “I haven’t spoken to Alicia since she walked out of my apartment, you know that.”

“No,” I yell as I step forward with my finger pointing at his chest. “I know the lie. I know the stories you told me to get me into bed, to get me to trust you. The sad-single-dad whose girlfriend walked out on him and their baby.”

“She wasn’t my girlfriend, Katelyn. I’ve told you this.”

“You lied!”

“About what?” he roars. He throws his arms up in the air in exasperation. “Why the hell do I need to lie about that shit? Do you think it makes me proud that I was fucking drugged and raped by a groupie and produced a son that I didn’t fucking want? What purpose does that serve me?”

“I saw pictures,” I yell louder. “You kissed her on the red carpet.” I lift my chin higher in defiance. “You played me for a fool and I won’t allow it anymore.”

“I’m so fucking confused right now, Katelyn. I sent you to the spa to get pampered and you think I sent Alicia there too? That I’m having some torrid affair with the mother of my child, whom I haven’t seen since he was born? And what… am I keeping Quinn from her too?”

“Oh, I’m sure Quinn sees his mother all the time. It just proves to me why you won’t kiss me in front of him.”

Harrison rakes his hands over his face and lets out a groan. He shakes his head and wipes wildly at his eyes. For some reason, it breaks my heart that he’s crying and it shouldn’t.

“Katelyn, I don’t know what happened at that spa, but I can tell you there are no pictures of me and Alicia, unless they are from the night Quinn was conceived –“

“I have them,” I say as I go over to my bag. I pull them out, disgusted that I’m even touching them. I drop them at his feet. I don’t want him to touch me, to pull me into his arms. I don’t think I can handle that.

He bends and picks them up. He flips through each one before throwing them down on the table.

“You know…” he shakes his head before putting his hands in his pockets. “I’m in love with you, but I see now that it’s not going to matter.” He bites the inside of his cheek and lets a tear drop. “You believe the lies over me, and that’s fine. I told you I thought you were naive when it came to the industry, and this just proves me right. If you can’t trust me, this will never work. I just wish I found out sooner.”

He picks up the pictures again and hands them back to me. “I want you to really look at those and tell me why she’s wearing the same fucking dress you were. And tell me how someone that is about five foot seven without heels doesn’t even come up to my shoulder.”

I don’t take the photos from him. He lets them drop to the floor. My eyes follow them as they scatter all over. Of course he’d buy her the same dress I wore so he could use it as an excuse.

“I don’t know how she found you, but I’m so fucking sorry that she did. You don’t deserve this and frankly, neither do I. I haven’t been with another woman since the night I met you at Liam’s. I’m not going to stand here and try to fight for something you don’t believe in. I have a feeling I’ll be wasting my breath.”

I take a chance to look at him and wish I hadn’t. He doesn’t bother to wipe away his tears. I hate that he’s crying, but he deserves it for what he’s done to me.

When he moves toward the door, I don’t try to stop him. I won’t. I need to close this chapter and move on. The door opens, letting in a gust of wind.

“If you don’t believe me, ask Quinn. He’s never met his mother, he’ll tell you that.”

I scoff. “I can’t believe you would drag your son into this.”

Harrison stalks over to me. “I wouldn’t, but you’re leaving me no choice, Katelyn. You’d rather believe her fucking lies than me. The man you’ve given yourself to. The man you said you’d try with. This isn’t fucking trying. This is bailing. You’re looking for any damn excuse to shut me out, and you’ve done it. You want to trust someone you don’t fucking know, good luck with that. You need to open your eyes and look at those pictures and tell me what you see.”

“You need to leave.”

Harrison shakes his head as he moves away from me, toward the door. “Last chance,” he says. I don’t know what that means and I don’t care.

“Go,” I say loudly.

He turns and steps out, slamming the door hard. It bounces back open from the force. The window rattles and the girls’ pictures fall from the wall. I jump when the glass shatters and hits the ground.

I slide to the floor clutching my knees to my chest and sob. Everything is ruined.

I
made the mistake of stopping at the store before heading home. The thought of sitting in my empty house, alone, did not sit well with me. Except now I sit in my empty house, alone, hurt and drunk. And I think I’ve broken my hand, but that’s neither here nor there.

I flex my fingers into a fist and back out again. The pain is a dull ache now, but that’s likely to be from the amount of beer I’ve consumed. The bottles are lining up nice and perfect on my coffee table.

I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here, but the sun is up. That can’t be a good sign. I tip my newest bottle back and take in the contents in one swig. I set the bottle down next to the others and lean back. Each bottle mocks me. From the first to the last, each one is laughing at me.

Her words replay over and over in my head.

I met your girlfriend.

I met your girlfriend.

I met your girlfriend.

If I knew how to get hold of Alicia, I would. Not that I’d know what to say. It’s not like we have history. I know nothing about her, except that she’s an evil, conniving bitch hell-bent on making my life hell. We weren’t a couple. We weren’t in love. We didn’t have a falling out and decide to go our separate ways. That’s what Katelyn doesn’t understand. I haven’t seen her since the day she left Quinn with me. My last image of her is her retreating backside as she hightailed it out of my apartment.

She believes the lies. Every single one of them, and for the life of me, I can’t understand why Alicia would say those things or take the time to doctor the photos to show us together. This would all make sense if Alicia and I had broken up recently. I can see a woman scorned making up some shit, but this doesn’t make sense.

I pop the top off another beer and realize I’m almost out, which is very unlucky for me. It’s not like I can go down to the store to get some more. I don’t think I can even make it to the bathroom without falling over.

I down the contents, as my heart kindly reminds me that I cried in front of her. I fucking cried like a god damn baby. Worse yet, it didn’t even faze her. She didn’t care. She just wanted me out of her house.

And I left.

I left because I can only take so much rejection.

I lay back and close my eyes. She flashes before me. She’s smiling one minute and the next, she’s kicking me out of her house and out of her life. Tears seep down my face. I hate it. I hate myself for crying over her. I should know better.

T
he
clanking of bottles wakes me. I roll over, suddenly.

Mistake.

I groan and hold my head as I try to sit up. My eyes are blurry, laden with sleep. It’s dark out, which means I’ve slept the day away.

Liam comes into view. He’s carrying a garbage can and picking up my bottles.

“I’ll do that,” I croak out.

“I got it,” he says shortly.

I stand, weary that I consumed an abundance of alcohol. I make my way to the bathroom. I shut the door and lean against it, exhausted. My hand throbs and is black and blue. I have to lean my head against the wall while I relieve myself. I can barely stand on my own, clearly I’m still drunk or extremely hung over.

I drag myself back into the living room, which is now clean. I sit down next to Liam, who’s flipping through my newest DRUM! Magazine. I don’t know why he’s here; maybe Katelyn went and told him that I walked out on her.

“Quinn wants to know when he can come home,” he says nonchalantly. I look at him like he has three heads.

“What are you talking about?”

“Quinn’s been at my house for two days now. I guess he’s a bit anxious and wondering what happened to his dad.”

“Fuck,” I yell. I rake my hand over my face, pulling at my hair. I’ve never left him, at least not unintentionally. I’ve always made him a priority and now look at me. Some chick breaks up with me and I forget about my son. Guess I’m not making dad of the year any time soon. “I’ll go get him.”

“Not yet,” he says. He sets the magazine down and stands. “We need to go to the hospital first and have your hand looked at it.”

I look down and shake my head. “It’s fine. I’ll go after. I just want to get Quinn.” I turn and look out the window and imagine Katelyn walking up to the door. “I think I’m going to head back to L.A. for a bit.”

“Well Quinn can stay with us.”

“Nah, man, it’s cool.” I turn back and look at him and shrug.

Liam steps forward. “Don’t do this, Harrison.”

“Why not? You going to tell me she’s not worth it? Because we both know that’s bullshit and I’m not going to stay around here where I’m not wanted.” I kick the chair next to me and watch it fall to the ground.

“She’ll figure it out.”

“Jesus Christ, Liam, there’s nothing to figure out. She believed some fucking whore that she doesn’t even know over me. I spent so much time trying to show her that she can trust me and for what, so some two-bit bitch can tell her otherwise?”

Liam shakes his head. I don’t mean to take all this out on him, but he’s here and he’s going to defend one of his oldest friends. I just don’t want to be where I’m not wanted. She doesn’t have to spell it out, she was very clear.

“Something’s wrong.”

“You think?” I roar. “I love that woman and she dismissed me like yesterday’s trash over some bullshit photos. Something’s wrong all right and the answer’s in L.A. I’m going to find Alicia and find out what she wants.”

“I think it’s Sam.”

“What?”

“I think this is all Sam’s doing.”

“The tour, yes, I’ll give you that, but she doesn’t know Alicia.”

“How do you know?”

I ponder his question for a moment, realizing that I don’t know. I don’t remember anything from the night that I met Alicia.

“Fuck me, are you serious?”

“Come here, let me show you something.” I follow him into the kitchen and pull out the chair next him. The pictures that Katelyn threw at me, along with some others are spread out on the table. I pick up one of Katelyn and me and shake my head.

“How can she think I want anyone but her?” I toss the picture down.

“Women are easily influenced. Remember when I told you about Sam stopping by the shop and talking to Josie? Josie went nuts and demanded that I give her Noah. When she finally told me what was going on, I couldn’t believe she’d listen to Sam, but I know why she did.”

“Yeah, but why would Katelyn listen to Alicia? She kept calling her my girlfriend and said I was cheating.” I set my head in my hands and instantly wish I didn’t. “Fuck this hurts.”

“I told you.”

I shake my head. “How did you know?”

“The hole in the wall was all the evidence I needed.”

“Perfect.”

“Anyway, after Katelyn came over yesterday I started piecing some shit together. I went back through old band photos from the early days, shit Sam used to bug me with and I found one of you and Alicia.” He hands me the photo. I stare at her, cognizant that this is really the first time I’m seeing her since that fateful day. She’s a blur in my life, but now I have something to show Quinn if he ever asks.

“Sam took these.” He hands me a stack of Alicia and I from the night we made Quinn. I can see a lot of Quinn in her, with her smile and the way her nose wrinkles when she’s laughing. If circumstances were different, I’d probably date her.

“And I don’t know who took this one, but I’m willing to bet Sam didn’t expect me to have it.” Liam hands me a photo. He doesn’t need to stay anything. The picture speaks for itself.

“Is that money?” I ask.

“Looks like it.”

“Why would Sam give Alicia money?”

Liam shrugs. “To drug you.”

“Son of a bitch.”

I get up and pace. Every part of me hurts right now, and there isn’t shit I can do about it. It seems ever since I met Sam Moreno, my life has been nothing but turmoil. If it wasn’t band business, she was up in my personal life like she owned me. And maybe she did, and I was just too dumb to understand my contract. I don’t know, but drugging someone and having it result in a pregnancy is the lowest someone can go. Seems like it wasn’t just Liam’s life she was hell-bent on ruining.

“This doesn’t help me.”

“I know,” Liam sighs. “But at least we know why Alicia did what she did.”

“Do we? I don’t know shit, except that Alicia somehow knew where to find Katelyn and gave her a bunch of phony photos.”

“That’s not all.”

I stop in my tracks and look out the window. Liam clears his throat. “What else?”

“Josie says that Alicia told Katelyn that you guys are still together.”

I nod. “I figured as much, with some of the things Katelyn was saying to me. Thing is, Liam, Quinn doesn’t know Alicia, so if I’m in some type of relationship with his mom, don’t you think she’d be around?” I push off the counter and walk back over to photos. “Show me the years of pictures of us together as a couple. Wouldn’t we ever venture out of the house as a family?” I lean over the table, careful not to put any pressure on my hand. “She believes this, not me.”

“So what, you’re going to leave? You’re going to take Quinn out of school and go back to L.A.?”

“I came here for her and she doesn’t want me. It would be one thing if we hadn’t been together, but I’m in love with her and I can’t… I won’t sit by and watch her be with someone else.”

“You love her?”

“You know I do.”

“I know, but this is the first time you’ve admitted it.” Liam sighs and I know he’s thinking about what the future is going to hold for the band. “Can you at least do me a favor?”

“Sure,” I agree.

“Wait until after the wedding. It’s just a few weeks away and I could use my best friend here, especially after Josie dropped a bomb the other night.”

I nod. Staying until the wedding is the least I can do. “What’d she say?”

“Nick’s back and we’re having dinner tonight with him and his new wife.”

Liam doesn’t wait for my reaction. He starts packing up the photos. He leaves a few of the ones of Alicia and me on the table. I don’t know whether I should thank him or not, but I suppose it will be nice when Quinn asks about her. I can at least show him a picture of the both of us before the night turned into a haze.

“Anyway, he’s back and Josie wants to be friendly. I want to hate the guy, but can’t because my son likes him, and bitched all throughout football on how bad it sucked that Nick wasn’t his coach.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I’m going to go to dinner and play nice in the sandbox.”

“Lucky you,” I say, ducking before Liam can hit me with the box of photos.

I
arrive at Liam and Josie’s with my hand wrapped in a nice black cast. Liam is going to love it. I’ll have to find a way to either play with one hand or figure out how to hold my drumstick. Somehow I think taking a break isn’t an option.

Quinn jumps into my arms as soon as I’m through the door. He holds me tight. His head is pushing into the crook of my neck. I’ve never done this to him. He’s always known where I am and when I’ll be home.

“I’m sorry, Quinn. I should’ve called.”

“It’s okay, dad, I was scared though.”

“I know, buddy. I won’t do it again. I promise.”

He looks at me, his eyes puffy. I can tell he’s been crying. He may look tough on the outside with his black eye, but deep down, he’s still just a little boy. He leans in and whispers, “Peyton is downstairs waiting for you.”

“Do you mind if I go down there?”

He shakes his head. I set him down and ruffle his hair.

“What happened?” he asks as he looks at my cast.

“Very stupid adult stuff,” I say with a shrug. He’ll see the damage at home and ask why. I won’t lie to him, but there’s not much to tell. It’s not like he knew Katelyn and I were together. I never got the chance to tell him. “I’ll be back in a bit, or just come downstairs when you’re ready.”

I walk into the studio and find Peyton banging on my drums. She’s wearing headphones that are too big for her, but she’s having fun. She smiles at me. I have to paste on a smile because it’s killing me that I’m not going to be a part of her life anymore.

“Whatcha doin’?” I ask, pulling up a stool next to her.

“I’m practicing.”

“Well, you sound wonderful.” I’m rewarded with yet another smile, something I’ve rarely seen from her.

“Harrison?” I look up to find Noah and Quinn standing in the doorway.

“What’s up?”

“We have an idea and we need your help.”

Noah and Quinn step into the studio and shut the door. Noah tells me their idea and I ask Quinn and Peyton if the both of them, as well as Elle are all in on this. They nod. I can’t help but smile at how enthusiastic they are and agree to help them.