My Wolf's Bane (30 page)

“I was wondering if you wanted to come by my house Friday night. Just some close friends and a jam session. If you play anything, bring it. It’ll be fun.” She frowned. “Uhm. No one else is having a party that night, right?”

I chuckled. “Not that I know of.”

“He can come too.” Her eyes darted to my
boyfriend
. “And Trevor and Maya.”

“I’ll ask them and let you know. Thanks for the invite.” I threw her a smile. “It sounds fun.”

She wandered off, but Zack and Trevor were still talking. Cars. Trevor had been saving up and was almost ready to buy.

“What’s your schedule like this week? I rarely see you around anymore except at dinner.” Trevor gave him a knowing look.

“Right. And you’re not always with Maya these days,” Zack said sarcastically.

“Hey, Autumn,” John said.

“Hi.” Beyond John, I spotted Daniel staring at me like a stalker. It gave me the creeps.

John followed my gaze. “What’s up with that guy? I didn’t like him before and he wasn’t nearly this disturbing.”

The last thing I wanted was to involve John, so I lightened my tone. “Who knows?”

“How’re your parents? Still traipsing around the Grand Canyon?” John asked.

“Oh. I didn’t tell you. They came home and left again to Montana for a job. I got an email from them last night saying they’d arrived and all was well. They’ll probably be home in a couple weeks or so.” I giggled at John’s surprised face. “I know. Crazy, huh? I guess they realized how unproductive it was to worry so much.”

“You ready to go?” Zack asked.

“See you tomorrow, John.” I waved to him as Zack dragged me away.

My day had been too deflating to enjoy my Mustang, so I tossed my keys to Zack and went to the passenger side. “So what were you reading last night?”

“Werewolf history.” He opened the door and adjusted the seat to accommodate his longer legs, then started the car.

I waited to hear more, but he didn’t volunteer anything else. Instead, his eyes fixed on the road ahead, hands stiff on the steering wheel. He definitely was not in a good mood. I wondered what the rest of the evening had in store for us, but had an idea it wouldn’t involve having fun.

“Why read it again? What were you looking for?” I asked.

“I thought about what you said and wondered if there might be something about my dad in the history books. Or any mention of SWAAST. Maybe when my mom’s gone, rather than run on my own, it might be safer to search for any who are left.”

“Hanging out with those SWAAST guys would be even more dangerous. They’re probably the most hunted people ever.” My voice rose. “Being with them is
not
safer.”

He glowered at me. “I won’t live my life afraid to do the right thing. What kind of a life is that?”

“Yeah, you’re a good guy who wants to do good. I respect you for that. But being stupid isn’t smart.”

Zack gave a quick laugh. “That’s profound, Autumn.”

“You know what I mean. You’re young and no match for werewolves who are hundreds of years old. You said with age comes strength. You’d be better off joining the king and honing your fighting skills until you get stronger. So long as you’re with them, they won’t hunt you for being a traitor. You’re no good to anyone if you’re dead.”

He glanced at me and nodded. “Okay. I promise to consider that before I do anything.”

I didn’t want to think about him leaving or getting hurt — or worse. If we didn’t talk about something else soon, I’d explode. “You want to go to Ashley’s little party Friday night? She invited us to a jam session.”

“I heard her ask. I figured you’d tell her no,” Zack said.

“Why’s that? I like Ashley. And her parties are nice. If I’m able to go, I usually do.”

“I assumed…”

Realizing what Zack hadn’t finished saying, I flinched. “You assumed that I was too much of a snob to hang out with a junior. I thought we were past that.” When he didn’t deny it, my eyes burned and my throat swelled. After all our time together, I was still the stuck up girl he originally thought me to be.

“To hell with you, Zack,” I mumbled toward my window.

While Zack worked at the auto shop, I stayed at his house, but hid in his room, so I wouldn’t have to face his family. If they asked me what was wrong, I’d surely spill it. Zack wouldn’t like that. Once I’d finished all my homework, I considered doing his too. I reached for his backpack, but kicked it across the room instead. If he didn’t do it himself, he’d miss out on everything that his studies had to offer. I snorted at the thought and retrieved his backpack. I wrapped up his homework just as he arrived and Cara announced dinner was ready.

As everyone ate, I smiled at all the right times and made polite conversation. I noticed Cara and Favianne’s occasional glance my way, but I didn’t say anything. My goal was to get through it as painlessly as possible. When I got home, I planned to abandon Zack in favor of my room. I needed to separate from him emotionally. He would run alone tonight.

“Something’s up with the car,” he said as soon as we got on the road toward my house. “It sounds different.”

“What do you think’s wrong with it?”

He turned his head, like he was listening for something. “Not sure. I have tomorrow off, so we can take it in the shop and have it checked out.” He guided the car into my driveway and killed the engine.

Once inside, I immediately hit the stairs. “Goodnight, Zack.”

He stood at the bottom of the steps. “You don’t want to go running?”

I turned and faced him, careful to mask the violent turmoil raging within me. “Not with you. No point in bonding, remember?”

Once in my room, I closed the door and locked it. Jumping on my bed, I covered my face with my hands.

“Autumn.” He rapped on the door and when I didn’t answer, the doorknob rattled. “Damn it, open the door.” Seconds passed and he kicked at it. “Open the door or I’ll break it down, I swear.”

I believed him. I couldn’t have my parents coming home, seeing the broken door and worrying that I’d been attacked or something. I wiped my eyes and got up. Before unlocking it, I took a moment to erase any emotion from my face.

Opening the door a few inches, I poked my head out. “What?”

“I can’t leave you alone.” He glared at me. “You know that.”

“Then don’t go running. Simple.”

“That won’t work. It’s easy for you to resist, but not me.” He sighed. “Can we talk about this?”

I flung the door open and turned away, knowing he would follow. On my bed again, I leaned back against the wall, my knees up.

“Sorry about the Ashley thing.” He cautiously sat at the foot of my bed. “I wasn’t thinking. I know you’re not like that anymore.”

“Anymore? I was
never
like that, Zack!”

“That came out wrong,” he said quickly. “I meant that I don’t think that way anymore. About you.” He ran a hand through his hair and growled. “I’m sorry.”

That was better. But he wasn’t there yet. I stared at him, my brows raised.

“Autumn…” He looked at me helplessly.

I had no intention of bailing him out. “Are you finished?”

“And I’m sorry for being so—”

“Cold?” I finished for him. “Impersonal? Unfriendly? Distant? Hurtful?”

He held up his hand. “I get the picture. Yes. All of those things.” He studied the fabric of my purple comforter. “It’s just that I’ve had a lot to process lately and some decisions to make.” His voice lowered. “You’re not stuck up. Actually, I think a lot of you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.”

I couldn’t make more of his words than they were. We had a mutual respect. Nothing else.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said softly.

I swallowed and glanced away, so he wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes.

“Will you go running with me?”

“Sure,” I forced out. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll be down.”

If he saw me cry, he’d probably feel sorry for me. We’d probably end up kissing and I couldn’t open myself up like that again, expose my emotions, so he could stomp all over them. Still, he hadn’t moved and I wondered what he was thinking. Hopefully, he’d take my reaction to mean that complete forgiveness wasn’t
his yet. Which it wasn’t.

The mattress quaked as Zack got up. When he was gone, I leaned my head back and breathed.

I hated Zack.

I hated him for being the most gorgeous guy I’d ever seen. For being nice to even the nerds. For helping me and protecting me, for inviting me into his home and sharing his mother with me. I hated him for shielding me from the evil that was Daniel. I hated the way he joked and teased me and chuckled when he thought I did something cute. I hated him for thinking I was beautiful.

I hated him for being
exactly
who I wanted him to be.

Mostly, I hated myself for being desperately in love with him.

I couldn’t go downstairs yet.

Closing my eyes, I imagined being a giant bird, almost weightless as I soared soundlessly through the sky. When I felt the tremor of my body beginning to shift, I relaxed my muscles and tossed the image away. But my moment in the make-believe wind calmed me enough to go downstairs. I took them one step at a time, wondering how I would do this with Zack day after day if he could never be mine. And knowing one day, he’d be gone.

As I reached the last step, we both instinctively zeroed in on the front door just before the bell rang.

He peeked through the gap between the curtains.
It’s Gina
, he told me silently. Zack opened the door and she entered hesitantly.

Why did you let her inside
? I asked.

I’m curious to know what would make her so desperate that she’d show her face at your house
, he answered, one corner of his mouth curving up.

“What are you doing here?” I wanted to throw her right back out.

“I couldn’t find Daniel and thought he might be here.” She glanced at Zack. “But I see now that was never a possibility.”

“Is he missing again?” Zack asked, coming up beside me and casually slipping his arm around my waist.

Gina made a strange sound between a laugh and a sob. “He keeps going MIA these days, especially at night.” Her gaze fixed on the wood flooring. “He doesn’t answer his phone and his parents can’t reach him either.” She returned her attention to me. “I think he’s cheating on me.”

A normal response would’ve been to say, “I told you so” or make a sarcastic remark and urge her to dump him. But if she followed that advice, Daniel might get freaky and stalk her the way he’d been stalking me. At least I had superpowers and Zack to protect me. Gina was probably safer
with
Daniel.

“He hasn’t been here, Gina,” Zack said. “I’d know if he was. I’ve been here a
lot
the last few days.”

That was
n’t subtle at all. Zack must’ve wanted to make sure Daniel knew we were still together. My gut told me Daniel was already in the loop.

“You’re probably thinking if he was unfaithful to you, why would he be any different with me?” Her eyes welled up with tears. “And if he
is
with another girl, I deserve it.”

“I doubt he’s cheating on you,” I said. She would never know the absolute truth, but I could give her part of it. “We’ve seen him at night when we’ve gone out and he was alone. Maybe that’s all he wants. Solitude.”

“Hope you’re right. He’s been different lately. It’s hard to figure him out.” She smiled and shuffled her feet awkwardly. “Well, thanks. Goodnight.”

I opened the door and closed it after her, turning to Zack.

He clucked his tongue. “I want to hate her for what she did to you, but I feel bad for her. Daniel’s evil. And she just doesn’t see it.”

I felt sorry for her, too. Hopefully she’d learn from the mess she’d made.

During the drive to the woods, Zack was quiet. Too quiet. I wanted to keep him talking, so I didn’t have to think about how unavailable he was. Or how I was being stalked by a crazed newly-made werewolf or that if I wasn’t careful, I could become a slave.