Authors: David Wellington
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hapel said nothing. He bent all his energy instead to testing the knots that held him, seeing if he could wriggle his wrists around enough to get some fingers free. It was a pointless taskâÂas soon as Belcher saw him make any progress, Chapel knew the white-Âsupremacist leader would simply retie him more securely. But it was better than doing nothing, maybe.
“No thoughts? No protests, no insults?” Belcher asked. “I'm surprised, Agent. I thought you'd try to talk your way out of this.”
“No,” Chapel said, with a sigh of resignation. “I've got your measure now. You're a suicidal madman. A zealot. I learned in Afghanistan how worthwhile it is to try to talk reason to somebody who's willing to die for some idiotic cause.”
That made Belcher laugh. “I hear you. I learned that lesson, too. From my father.” He reached down and grabbed Chapel again and started dragging him across the dirt toward the gravestone under the tree.
Chapel knew better than to think he was being shown the gravestone just to intimidate him. Nor was he surprised to see whose it was. The stone was a simple affair, carved mirror smooth on the sides but left rough on top. The legend read:
KENDRED BELCHER
PATRIOT
The name was surmounted by a swastika.
“That word should never be on the same piece of rock as that symbol,” Chapel pointed out. “The Nazis weren't even patriots in Germany. They were thugs and gangsters who seized control from the democratically elected government by force.”
“That word means something to you, huh?” Belcher said. “
Patriot
. That's what they called me when I joined the army even though I hadn't shot anybody yet. This manâÂmy father. He taught me everything I know. He taught me how to organize Âpeople. How to use words to make them believe. How to stand up for what you know is right.”
Belcher unzipped his pants and took out his penis. With a grunt, he let fly, urinating all over the gravestone.
“I've hated that man, and everything he stood for, for as long as I can remember. Couldn't resist getting in one last crack at him,” Belcher said, zipping back up. “That's why I brought you up here.”
“To confuse the hell out of me?” Chapel asked.
“To explain everything you're going to see today.” Belcher smiled down at Chapel. “We've only got a few minutes, so save your questions until the end, right?”
Chapel just shook his head.
“He used to beat the crap out of me. I was just a kidâÂI assumed I deserved that. He would hit me if I got a bad report card and tell me I was failing to demonstrate a racially superior intellect. He would hit me if I didn't win a Little League gameâÂand if there were black kids on the other team, he would hit me, and he wouldn't stop. It took me way too long to realize that everything in his life, everything he did and said and thought, was about hatred. About how somebody else was letting him down, or actively conspiring against him. He was fucking crazy is my point. When I finally did understand that, when I was a teenager, I decided I wouldn't waste my life on that kind of bitter nonsense. But, see, I'd never heard any other point of view. He wouldn't let me talk to anyone who didn't agree with him one hundred percent. I was pretty sure that the Jews didn't actually run the government and that black Âpeople weren't all thieves or lazy idlers, but I had no way of knowing what those Âpeople were really like. So I did the only thing I couldâÂI went off and joined the army.”
Chapel remembered the briefing he'd given Hollingshead. Terry Belcher had turned against his father's teachings and renounced them publicly, then he'd gone off to fight in the First Gulf War. That much he knew. “Don't tell me you found out in Kuwait that he'd been right all along.”
“Far from it. In my unit, we had black soldiers, and Jewish soldiers, a Âcouple of Asian kids. It was like the United fucking Nations over there, and we all had to live in the same tents, eat the same food, put up with the same goddamned heat and bugs and nothing at all to do. And we fought together, and not a single one of them wasn't as brave and as willing to sacrifice himself for his buddies as anybody else. They were good Âpeople. Real Âpeople, who didn't live for high, abstract ideals. They just wanted to do their jobs and go home. You know all thisâÂyou were a soldier.”
Chapel nodded. He had no idea where this was going.
“I loved those guys. Black, white, whatever. And I knew I'd made the right decision. I would have stayed over there in the desert for the rest of my life if I could, away from American bullshit. Well, the war didn't last that long. We got the news the Iraqi army had surrendered, and we were going home soon. But then one day my CO, who was a real prick, came along and told us we needed to clear out this oil refinery where they suspected some holdouts were hiding, some idiots who wanted to keep fighting for Saddam Hussein or die trying. Our job was to go in there and roust them out. We did. Oh, boy, did we.
“We walked in there with Mâ16s and grenade launchers, and we met resistance right away, just suppressing fire, but it seemed to come from everywhere. We could have fallen back, let them keep shooting until they ran out of ammunitionâÂwe had only taken minor casualties, nobody was dead. But that idiot CO of mine, he decided we needed to scrub that place clean. So he called in some mobile artillery, and they lit that refinery up like Christmas. Of course, he didn't stop to think that an oil refinery might be flammable. He killed every one of those holdouts, definitely. But the fire he started left six of my buddies in the infirmary, and two more dead. Some of those guys walked through the whole official war without a scratch on themâÂand suddenly they were going home with third-Âdegree burns, they needed skin grafts and antibiotics and none of them were going to be movie stars. I was lucky, I was behind a Humvee when the torch went up, so I wasn't hurt. But I bet you know how I felt afterward.”
“Like if you could have taken the place of one of the injured, or the dead, and they could be okay again, you would have done it in a second,” Chapel said. Survivor guilt was one of the toughest things about being a soldier.
“Yeah,” Belcher said, and he lowered his head as if he couldn't help thinking back to that moment. “And I thought one other thing, too. That my prick CO was going to pay. I went and found him and told him exactly what I thought of him. Maybe I was going to leave it at that. But you know what he said to me? He said he was going to ignore my comments but not because of what had happened to my buddies. Because he knew who my father was. And even though he couldn't say so in public, he was a fan.”
Belcher chuckled.
“A fan. You get that? My bastard of a father had fans. I didn't even know. I didn't know just how . . . inspirational his words had been. How many Âpeople had read his unreadable books and taken them to heart. But this CO of mine, he thought white Âpeople were the best kind of Âpeople because my father told him so.
“I beat him so hard I was sure he was going to die. I wanted him to. Some MPs came and pulled me off him before I could choke him to death. They had to tase me. They took me to the brig, then they put me on trial. They asked me if I had any kind of defense. I told them everything. I gave them the most impassioned, truthful speech I could possibly write. That's when they told me how it really worked. It didn't matter that my CO was an evil asshole. He was my superior. They love that word in the army. You know how much they love it.
Superior.
The prick had more gold on his lapels than I did, and that meant he was better than me. So I had to go to prison, not because I was wrong but because I was inferior.
“I'd heard that kind of logic before. I'd heard it from my father. He talked about who was superior to who all the time.
“That was the day I figured out what hatred was really for. That you can't escape it because the world is just so fucked up, you're going to feel it for one thing or another. You have to embrace it. Use it. And now I had two things to feel hatred for. White-Âpower assholes, and the United States Army.”
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“T
his doesn't make a whole lot of sense,” Chapel said. “You're one of the most respected members of the white-Âseparatist movementâ”
“Nobody's life makes sense if you just look at what they do in public, Agent. Especially if they've got a secret to keep.”
Belcher turned away from the tombstone. He reached down and picked Chapel up, setting him on his feet. “Get in the vehicle, all right? If you try to run or anything, you're going to get hurt.”
Chapel knew better than to argue. He walked over to the car andâÂnot without some difficultyâÂwedged himself into the passenger seat. Belcher climbed into the driver's seat and started the car up. He headed north, across the desert. The car jumped and bounced until they got back on the road. “I wish I had more time to explain this all. Your part in it, especially. See, I'm going to die today, along with a lot of other Âpeople. But you're going to live, I hope. You're going to live so you can tell Âpeople who I really was. And why I did all this.”
“Did all what?” Chapel asked. “You still haven't told me what you've got planned.”
“We'll get to that. There's more of my story still.”
Up ahead, on the road, Chapel saw a long convoy of pickups, cars, and panel trucks. He saw men crowded in the beds of the pickups and recognized some of them. It looked like every able-Âbodied man in the town of Kendred was on the road, headed north, back toward Pueblo. He was afraid to find out why they were going there. He was certain it wasn't just that they wanted to get away from the attack that was sure to come after they blew up the drone.
“When I got home,” Belcher told him, “with a dishonorable discharge, well, there weren't a lot of opportunities for me. I was a little surprised, mostly just sad, to find out that my fellow Americans barely knew there had been a Gulf War. Oh, they'd watched CNN and seen Patriot missiles duke it out with scuds over the Kuwaiti border. But they didn't seem to understand there had been real men, real soldiers over there. I couldn't find a job, couldn't get any money together. I'd gone to Kuwait with nothing and came back to less. I was homeless for a while, even. The only Âpeople who would give me the time of day were Âpeople I hated. My father's fans.
“They wanted to help me. They wanted to take me into their homes, and all they wanted in exchange was to hear stories about how great and wise and forward-Âthinking my father had been. They treated me like I was a Second Coming. I wanted to spit in their faces. But when the option is to go sleep under a bridge and eat out of Dumpsters, well . . . I told myself I was taking advantage of them. Using them, the way the officers in Kuwait had used us. I told myself I was just going to put up with their white-Âsupremacy nonsense long enough to get back on my feet.
“A Âcouple years passed like that. I met so many Âpeople, listened to so many screeds. There was one kind of guy I met a lot of. Young men covered in tattoos, full of hate for Âpeople they'd likely never met. Guys who had gotten in trouble for what they believed in, thought they were hardcases, and the world was picking on them. I recognized way too much of myself in them, and I knew I could have turned out that way if I'd been dumb enough to believe what my father preached. If I just hadn't known better. They had the hatred in them, the hate I felt in my own heart. They looked me in the eye, and I could tell they saw it, too. They would come to me and ask me if I knew what they should do with themselves. A lot of them had gotten in trouble with the law. They trusted me because I'd been in prison and because I was my father's son, and they knew I was smart, and they figured I would have a plan.
“The funny thing about these guysâÂguys like Charlie and Andre. The funny thing is, for all their hate, for all that the world has kicked them around, they have this incredible quality of optimism. After all they've been through, you'd think that reality would have sunk in eventually, but it hasn't. They've seen how the world comes down on you when you don't think like everybody else. But still they believe. They believe that maybe in their lifetimes, maybe soon after, all their dreams are going to come true. That the white race will be triumphant. They have this dream. And the thing about dreamers is, they'll do anything to make their dream come true.
“I started getting my big idea, started developing my master plan, right there and then. I knew, you see, that one man alone was never going to make a difference in this world. That I was going to die having achieved nothing. The world doesn't listen to one man. But a man with an army all his ownâÂwell, that's how history happens, isn't it?
“I told them what they wanted to hear. I knew all the words by heart because my father had beaten them into me. I told them about mud Âpeople and the sons of Ham and about Nordic destiny. I told them we needed to stick together and that we needed to work toward a greater goal. You wouldn't believe how easy it was. These kids are dreamers, and if you tell them their dreams can come true, no matter how ridiculous they really are, well, they'll follow you right off a cliff.
“I started recruiting them, one by one. I only wanted the ones who I knew I could trust. There were plenty of skinheads out there who talked a good game, but all they really wanted was to get in fights and listen to terrible music. I had no use for that kind. I wanted the true believers. The ones who would follow my rules. We had to lie low, I said. The world wasn't ready for our message, so we had to stay free and clean. No drugs. No criminal activity of any kind. We couldn't afford even so much as a parking ticket because this country would take any excuse, even the slightest, to crush us. Of course, they needed to do something, show their hatred somehow, so I got them doing nonviolent demonstrations.”
Chapel sighed in disgust. “Like picketing biracial weddings.”
“Exactly. That's why I said it was distasteful but necessary. They needed that outlet, my soldiers. They needed to feel like they were doing something. I despised going to those protests. Afterward, I had to scrape my skin clean in the shower, just to feel human again. But I did it. I went and picketed. I published books by idiots even crazier than my father. I put together an empire based on hatred, and every day I watched it grow stronger. I knew I was getting close to the day when I could finally use that power for my own ends, when they would obey my every command. I knew that day would come sooner rather than later.”
“And that day is now?” Chapel asked. “Why?”
“Because you came along.” Belcher laughed. “I had them train and drill for the day the government would come and raid our little town. I bought all those guns and told my soldiers it was for their defense. I always expected a massed force of ATF and maybe FBI agents. You showing up like you did, just one guyâÂthat I wasn't really ready for. But I saw I could use it anyway. You're my excuse, Agent. You're my justification for why we have to go to war today. And you're also going to be my witness.”