Mystic Ink (19 page)

Another warm wind raced across the room. He could have sworn the balcony doors were closed before. He should shut them before Basil took off. Nix would kill him . . .

He paused. Nix was slumped in a deck chair, arms folded tight across her chest. Her face was hard, the corners of her mouth turned down in a frown.   

“Hey,” he said. She remained silent as he sat on the end of the chaise lounge. “What’s doing?”

The silence stretched out for another minute or two. Nix uncrossed her arms, her eyes bright and shiny with unshed tears. “I read my file.”

Fuck. Now he wished he had read it instead of waiting. “Nix  . . . why?”

She shrugged and wiped her nose. “I had to. I hated not knowing. I feel so used all the time.”

“And what did you learn?” He kept his voice as even as he could. She must know they worked the Pannis mission together. That had to have been in the notes.

“Lots.” She sniffed. “I’m a killer, a whore, a sneak, a liar.” She turned her head away from him. When she looked back, her eyes glinted like sharp steel. “Oh, and I’m the Final Arbiter.”

Cal’s eyes popped wide. That was unexpected. Even on the Pannis mission, he hadn’t seen that side of her. But they weren’t together the whole time. In the end, she had dealt with the Satyr warlord alone while Cal had rescued the stolen females.

“Did you know?” Her voice turned to ice.

“No. I haven’t read your file.”

“I’m tired of being lied to,” she barked. “I’ve always known that the Destroyers were used for a variety of tasks. But it never had any meaning to me since I could never recall the details. It was like it was happening to someone else.”

When she didn’t mention his role, Cal realized that she still didn’t know they had been lovers. Of course, what had he expected? Their affair had been a secret between them. Nereus never knew. No one did, except Nix and Cal.

“And I don’t even know what to think of the Final Arbiter. I have read all the details of the things I’ve done. The criminals, who had to be stopped lest innocents died . . . but I have no memory of any of it. I can’t feel pride, or even shame.”

“I’m sorry.” And he was. At least he had to own and live with all his decisions, and past actions.

“Nereus owes me an explanation. Why did he choose me?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t.”

Nix looked skeptical. She turned her head away.

Cal leaned in and tilted her face to look at him. “By the blood of my father, I swear I didn’t know.” And that was the Gods honest truth. Time to get with the program and find out what was in her file.

Chapter 16

Cal closed Nix’s folder and rubbed his eyes. He needed to speak with her. She had been so quiet in the guest room, maybe she had fallen asleep. She needed the rest. He’d wait. He tossed the folder on the coffee table. Basil stretched his wings, then rose up and headed toward the slider. Cal let the creature out and turned around to find Ares standing in his living room.

Ah, Gods. This was the last thing he needed right now.

“Son. I know you blame me for what happened to your mother.”

And Ares had to go there now, when he had so much other shit to deal with.

Cal didn’t say anything. He refused to even look at Ares’ face. He didn’t want to see the sadness that matched his father’s deep voice. Cal didn’t want to consider the possibility that Ares was telling the truth—that he really had loved Cal’s mother. Growing up, it had been easy to hate his father.

In the beginning, as a child, Cal only knew his father from a few brief visits a year. The man was a virtual stranger. Often, when his father did show up, he closeted himself with Cal’s mother. Cal was shooed outside to play. Later, Cal grew to resent the man for not doing anything to make their lives easier. They lived in a crude log cabin, the floor dirty, the windows either shuttered in the winter or covered in oilskin in the summer.

Cal did his best to help his mother. He hunted, tended their crops, and even helped birth his baby sister in the middle of a snowstorm. Grace had a mop of golden curls, crystal blue eyes, and a smile that melted his heart. Cal adored her. Grace was a bright light for him and his mother. Even his father caved into Grace’s every whim. When he was around.

Grace disappeared when Cal was thirteen, kidnapped by Indians. His father returned, enraged at the loss, but even he couldn’t bring her back. Cal blamed himself—he was man of the house and should have been there to protect her. He held his father responsible, too. The man was never around. Grace’s loss affected his mother deeply. Some of her sparkle, the light in her eyes, dimmed, never to return.

Cal had never really gotten over his boyhood guilt. Except he wasn’t a boy anymore. He hadn’t been for over four hundred years. Since then, he had learned that Ares had stayed away to protect Cal and his mother. The love between Ares and Cal’s mother had been forbidden. Zeus, in a final attempt to assert his dominance on his fellow Gods, had forbidden any liaisons with mortals. Zeus had been unable to procreate with mortals for close to a thousand years and had grown jealous of the others’ abilities to have children.

What a douche. Cal was glad Zeus was gone.

“Cal?” Ares touched his shoulder. Cal stiffened.

“Father, do we really have to discuss this right now?” Cal didn’t want to think about how his mother died. He just couldn’t think about it.

“Yes.” Ares studied the box of files on the coffee table, but didn’t touch them or appear interested in reading further. Which was a good thing. Cal didn’t want to have to fight Ares over Delian League business. Ares may have lost some of his potency when Zeus left, but he was still a full-blooded God and could mop the floor with Cal if he wanted to.

“Why?” Annoyance colored Cal’s voice. He didn’t care if Ares was offended.

“I think you’re right. It was my fault. All of it.”

Cal’s head whipped around, his jaw slack with disbelief. What new game was his father playing?

“I can see you don’t believe me.” Ares sat on the couch. The leather creaked and groaned under his weight. “Your mother’s been on my mind lately. A lot. I think it’s that lovely water pistol you’ve been hanging out with.”

“Nix is my assignment.” No way was Cal discussing his true feelings for Nix. He didn’t know what was behind his father’s sudden bout of conscience, but he wasn’t letting his guard down. No. Cal knew Ares too well. A slip of the tongue today, a sign of weakness, and it could be used later against him. Or Nix, the next time Ares felt like stirring the shit pot.

Ares waved away the comment. “The Nereid’s spunk reminds me so much of your mother. Sarah was feisty, too. The first time we ever met, your mother stabbed me in the thigh.”

Cal wasn’t surprised. Ares was a jerk. He probably deserved it.

“And you’re right, I did deserve it. I can see your thoughts on your face.” Ares sighed. “Sarah fascinated me. I couldn’t get her out of my mind.”

“Father, I don’t understand why you’re telling me all this.” Cal resisted the urge to check the time. He had work to do. And Gods knew what Nix would do if she woke up and found Ares in Cal’s condo.

“Right, places to go, people to see. I get it.” Ares leaned forward, his golden eyes locked onto Cal’s face. “I should have done more to protect her. I should have forced Godhood on her. Especially after Grace. She was never the same after that.”

Cal hated that he felt pity for Ares. He really did. Except, Cal’s mother had had a stubborn streak a mile long. It wouldn’t have surprised him to learn that she refused Ares’ help either. He also remembered how much he had loved his sister Grace. How much it had hurt when she was taken. His mother had truly suffered.

Sadness tinged Ares’ voice. “Every once in a while I trade favors with Hades. Do you know what I pick?”

Cal could guess. A tight lump closed his throat. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear Ares say it out loud.

“I visit Grace and Sarah.” Ares stood and went over to the window overlooking the water. “They’re okay. Happy together in the afterlife.”

Yet, Cal noted, that didn’t seem to bring Ares comfort. “Mother’s death was avenged.”

“Yes. You did me proud that day.” Ares, his back ramrod straight, didn’t turn around.

“The bastards got what they deserved.” And then some. When Cal had returned from a trip trading animal hides and fur so they could buy seed for spring planting, he found the cabin ransacked. The little furniture they owned was broken. The dirt floor smeared with blood, so much blood he used it to track his mother. He found her battered and raped body by the brook that ran a half mile away from the cabin. She was barely alive.

Cal had gathered her up and carried her home. He tended to her wounds and prayed that God would save her. As she lay dying, Sarah told Cal the truth. At first he refused to believe her. Then Ares showed up. The man magically appeared in the cabin. He was a God, but not the God Cal had been praying to.

Startled and unbelieving, Cal shot Ares in the chest. Ares healed himself and cleaned up the mess in the cabin, repairing the furniture, removing the blood. Yet Cal still refused to believe him.

“If you are a God, save her,” Cal had pleaded, desperate for his mother to live.

Ares looked pained. “She has refused my offer.”

Cal knelt down by his mother’s side. Dark purple bruises and red abrasions were the only color on her face. “Mother, please . . . I don’t understand. Why won’t you accept his help?”

“Cal, my darling son. It’s true. All of it.” There was none of the usual strength in her voice. “You have a greater destiny. Your path is with Ares.”

“No, Mother. I belong with you.” Cal fought back tears. All the anger diffused. She was dying. “Take his help. I’ll do whatever you ask.”

“Cal, listen to me.” She held out her hand to him. He quickly clasped it, scared by the coldness already infecting her limbs. “Be who you were meant to be. I know you are a warrior, but there is great kindness in you, too.”

Her grasp weakened. Her eyes clouded.

“Ares, help her!” Cal begged.

A strong hand landed on his shoulder. Heat coursed through Cal’s veins. Fire. Uncontrollable flame swept into his blood as if calling to him. “I cannot make her live, Cal. I will be there for you when you are ready.”

Ares had left Cal alone as his mother expelled her last breath with a gentle sigh. When she was gone, Cal howled in agony and sobbed. Then, he vowed revenge. Anger mixed with hate. An unquenchable blood lust rose from his marrow. He came into his Godhood, right then and there: the power of fire at his command, new strength in his body, and heightened senses.

Cal kissed his mother’s cold lips. He snipped a lock of her hair, pocketed her tiny silver cross, and tucked Grace’s favorite toy into a pack. Without looking back, he unleashed his fury. The fire rampaged and poured into the log cabin. It danced along the wood beams, spread along the roof, then greedily consumed everything in its path. His mother’s remains had been purified in the fire. In a few short moments, an inferno took hold, devouring the only home Cal had ever known.

That evening, he left the woods of Virginia in search of his mother’s killers. It didn’t take long to find them. There were five of them, sitting around a fire. When he heard them boasting about his mother, how she had fought them like a wildcat, he felt a flicker of pride for her. Now her attackers would die slowly and painfully.

They had no idea, at first, what had hit them. Cal tested the limitations of his power that night. He learned how easily the flame could consume anything in its path and how it could be harnessed to inflict maximum pain and suffering.

When the killing was over, Cal stood over their charred remains, depleted and weak.

Ares appeared. “You’ve done me proud, boy. It’s time for you to join with your brothers and sisters.”

Cal closed his eyes. Of course, his mother wouldn’t have been Ares’ only conquest. Funny how it had never crossed his mind. Not that it mattered. “I’m not going with you.”

“You must. How else will you learn what you need to know to survive in the world? As my son, you must learn to control the fire so it doesn’t consume you. You will want to make war and cause death. You will need to learn to manage those desires. Channel them appropriately.”

Cal almost laughed in Ares’ face. “Fuck you.” He hated the tall, beautiful man standing before him, refusing to believe that Ares couldn’t save his mother.

Cal declined to join with his father that day. But Ares was stubborn and hammered away at Cal’s resolve. Eventually, the compromise was war camp—a neutral place for Cal to learn what he needed to for survival’s sake. In time, curiosity ate away at Cal. He wanted to know about his extended family, after being without kin for so long. For a brief time, he joined Ares and received a brutal lesson in how he didn’t want to live his father’s life.

Cal shook off the memories of the past. In many ways, his mother’s death was as raw now as the day it had happened. “I blamed you for a long time.”

“I know. I blame myself. I should have kept better watch over her.” Ares left the window and stood in front of Cal. “I truly did love her.”

“Why did she want to die?” Cal voiced the insecurity that had plagued him for so long. That somehow it was his fault. That his mother thought he was a monster.

“Stop that, Cal.” Ares gripped Cal’s shoulders hard. “Your mother loved you more than anything.”

“But not enough to stay with me.” Cal fought to unleash Ares’ hands. He hated feeling like a helpless child. “Damn you for digging this up!”

Fire erupted from Cal’s fists and landed benignly, unable to harm his father.

“No. That wasn’t it, Cal. She was already dying. She had cancer. And she was weary of her life. I know she seemed eternally young to you, but she was almost eighty years old when she died.”

The revelation was a kick in the balls. “I don’t understand.” Whenever Cal remembered his mother, she was young and vibrant.

“An illusion created for you. She wanted to stay alive as long as she could for you. She understood that time would pass differently for you than for mortals. That is why you always lived so far from others. The isolation was by design. She didn’t want you to worry about her age.”

“I never knew.” And he had never considered the passage of time. Nor ever questioned why his mother never went more than a mile from the cabin. “The house was protected.”

“Yes. And as long as your mother stayed within that border of protection, she aged more slowly.”

Another realization struck Cal. “Grace. She wasn’t kidnapped, was she?”

“No. We realized that she would start to appear older than you, so we made up the story—”

Cal slammed his fist into Ares’ face. “You bastard! All this time, I blamed myself for her kidnapping. Why didn’t you tell me the truth the day Mother died?”

Ares nursed his jaw. “You had enough to deal with. And you haven’t exactly wanted to speak with me much over that last couple hundred years.”

“Tell me she lived a happy life.” Cal hoped she had. Grace deserved that much.

“Yes. I made sure of it. She met a good man, had children, knew her grandchildren. Lived well.” Ares grew quiet.

Cal’s thoughts turned back to that dark day. Coldness chilled his bones. “How did those men get to my mother?”

Storm clouds crossed Ares face. Anger creased his forehead. “I have many enemies, Cal. Someone betrayed me. In all this time, I have not been able to learn who it was. But when I do, they will pay.” Ares pinned him with a dark gaze. “And you can join me.”

Cal ignored the invitation, his mind trapped at his mother’s final moments. “How could you stand to see her suffer in the end?” It wasn’t a fair question, but Cal didn’t care.

“Sometimes we have to let the things we love go. I loved her and respected the hell out of her. Too much to force her to stay alive for me or for you.” Ares pulled Cal into a strong hug. “She understood so much more about life than we immortals ever will.”

The shock of Ares’ embrace stunned Cal. The only touch he had ever received from Ares had been from the end of his fists as he taught his children to be warriors. Still wary of Ares’ intentions, yet torn, Cal savored the moment and thought about Nix.

What would his mother have said about her? Let her go? Or fight to the end for the one you loved?

Nix sat on the edge of the bed in the guest room, the Destroyer’s Mantle unfurled across her lap while her head swirled with information and images. If only she could purge them. But you couldn’t un-ring a bell. What was done, was done.

Most of the revelations weren’t a surprise. Not really. If she were being honest with herself. On some level, she knew the Destroyer’s job. There was a difference between hearing about something and actually knowing it firsthand. Except, she didn’t have true knowledge, did she?

Are you going to let me help you now?

Nix gripped the Mantle. It was back. The voice. She had almost forgotten about it.

“Go away.” Oh Gods, she was crazy. She couldn’t deny it anymore. Voices in her head, talking to herself . . .

You’re not crazy. I’m really here. Look down.

“What the hell. Might as well go all the way.” Nix lifted the cape off her lap and examined the floor. Nothing. Of course.

Not the floor, your lap.

Nix raised the Mantle, eyeing it. No way. Could it be  . . . alive? She flung the cape to the floor.

You bet, sister. No need to toss me around.

“I don’t understand. What are you?” Nix scooped the cloth up with her forefinger and thumb and placed it on the bed. “And why didn’t I know about you before?”

We’re prohibited from interfering.

“So why are you starting now?” Nix was exhausted. Sleep had eluded her. She yawned hard, her jaw clicking. “And who is we?”

If you merge minds with me, I can show you.

Nix stopped mid-yawn. From their earliest days of training, there was one guideline above all others—Do not open your mind to the Mantle’s power. The power, they were told, would consume the mind of the wearer. In fact, part of Nereus’ justification for the mind wipe was to limit their exposure to the cloak’s power.

“Why should I trust you not to take over my mind?”

I want to be free.
A wave of sadness rode into her head. She could understand that sentiment. Maybe she was overtired or just fed up with all the lies, but she didn’t care. Cal’s life was in the balance.