Naamah's Kiss (66 page)

"He's my brother! "

"Aye," I nodded. "And he is a beautiful, compelling man who possesses great gifts and harbors terrifying ambitions. I don't know why. I asked him to speak of it, and he refused." Tired of gossip and distortion, I held her gaze and spoke the truth that was in my heart, hoping she might hear it and understand. "I suspect it has something to do with the loss of your parents and the lingering sense of helplessness it left in him. And mayhap with this." I gestured around. "Always knowing that you were the heir to Marsilikos, while he, the firstborn, was expendable."

She was silent.

"Mayhap it has to do with his love for Queen Jehanne," I added. "And her choosing his majesty over him, despite loving Raphael, too. I don't know. All I know is that nothing he's ever wanted has been his in full, and it's left a void in him." I smiled wistfully. "I would have filled it if I could have. I thought he was my destiny. In the beginning, I would have given him my heart. But that's not what he wanted."

"And so you betrayed him for it?" Eleanore's gaze remained hard. "Chose to humiliate him publicly?"

"Your damn brother almost kill her!" Bao interjected.

I wanted to clamp my hand over his mouth; but he was right, and I was growing angry. "Being with your brother was killing me, my lady. Do you think I lie? A woman is dead because of Raphael's ambitions! I watched her die before my eyes! Do you think I forced him into sorcery? I didn't want any bedamned part of it!" I was shouting. "I did it at first because I was too stupid and besotted to say no to him, and I did it at the end because it was the only way he'd agree to help save my father's life!"

The Lady of Marsilikos blanched. "Raphael wouldn't do such a thing!"

"But he did," I said grimly. "Lady Eleanore, I'm sorry, but that's the truth. And I have nothing further to say on the topic of your brother. Am I free to go?"

She looked away and gave a brief nod. "Mayhap there is truth to what you say," she said in a bitter voice. "Even so, I would to Elua that he'd never met you, for you brought out the worst in him."

"I know." Now I just felt weary. "I wish it had been otherwise."

Raphael's sister looked back at me. "Get out of my sight."

Gawking at the exchange, the guards were slow to clear our path to the door. Bao spun his staff so fast it was a blur, one end coming to an abrupt halt a scant inch from the nearest guard's chin. The guard flushed with anger and reached for his sword-hilt, then thought better of it and stepped back.

"Smart man." Bao's voice was as smooth as silk. I didn't know whether I wanted to hug him or thump him. Both, mayhap.

We rode back to the harbor together. There was no escort this time, for which I was grateful.

"Thank you for coming with me," I said to Bao. "I wouldn't have liked to face that alone."

He nodded. "She mad because she love her brother. Still, not fair to you. I not like the way they treat you." He glanced at me. "Feel pretty good to yell, huh?"

"Aye." I hadn't realized it, but he was right. I carried a great deal of unspoken anger toward Raphael. "Still, not fair to her, either. She didn't know the truthor, at least, didn't want to believe it."

Bao shrugged. "Life is not fair."

There was something else troubling me that I hadn't spoken of. "Bao do you think we drove the spirit wholly out of him?"

He was silent a moment. "Why?"

"I don't know. When I looked back at Raphael at the end, the last glimpse I had of him, it seemed like there was something there." I touched my breast, where my diadh-anam had never ceased to quicken for him. "Whatever's between us, I'm not sure it's over."

Bao snorted. "You think he follow you over the ocean?"

I didn't. "No."

"Better hope it over. Lion Mane no good for you. That demon-spirit" He shook his head. "Ask Master Lo. Maybe he know, maybe not. Is a foreign demon. Not the same as demon-spirit at home like the one got into the Emperor's daughter."

I reined Blossom to a halt. " What ?"

Bao looked guilty. "Master Lo, he want to tell you his own self."

I felt lightheaded. "Is that why he asked me to come? Does he expect me to banish it into the spirit world like I did Focalor? Does he expect me to survive this time?"

"No!" He flushed. "Master Lo ask you to come because you his student. He meant to teach you. All the signs say so."

"What signs?" I asked.

Bao leaned over in the saddle and tapped my breast-bone. "You feel it here?"

"Aye," I admitted.

"That the only sign you need."

"Is that how it was for you?" I was curious. "How did you come to be Master Lo's magpie?"

He regarded me through half-lidded eyes. "You ask a lot of question. One day, I tell you. Not today."

"All right. I'll wait." I didn't know why I was so curious, except that Bao was the nearest thing I had to a comrade in this venture and he was an enigma to me. If he disliked me half as much as he pretended at times, I was in for a miserable journeybut I didn't think that he did.

I knew that Master Lo Feng had chosen in his latter years to wander the world in search of further wisdom and worthy pupils to impart it to. I knew that he'd chosen Terre d'Ange as a destination because he was curious about tales of an entire folk descended from a wandering god and his divine Companions, and the land in which Blessed Elua had chosen to settle.

Why Bao had chosen to accompany him, I hadn't the faintest idea.

When we returned to the quay, the harbor-master's second in command gave us grudging approval to board the immense Ch'in ship. I whispered reassuring things in my filly Blossom's ears, soothing her with my thoughts until her hide stopped shuddering and she suffered herself to be led aboard, disappearing into the belly of the hold.

Stone and sea, the ship was huge!

And I felt lost boarding it. Everything that was familiar fell away behind me. I was surrounded by Ch'in soldiers and sailors chattering in their own tongue, eyeing me with a mixture of curiosity and disapproval.

We were given rooms on the next-to-upper deck. Master Lo Feng's was large and sumptuous; mine and Bao's smaller quarters adjoined it on either side. The wood was rich and glossy and smelled very nice, mixed with the tang of sea air. Left alone in my chamber, I breathed in deeply and tried to fight a rising sense of panic.

"Here." Bao appeared, lugging a heavy pot in his arms. Snowdrops, the bulbs dormant but alive beneath burlap wrappings. He set it on the floor. "Master Lo say they better with you; you feel better."

I listened to their faint song.

Better.

Keeping them alive gave me a purpose. As for the rest, I would have to learn and adjust. I nodded at the bed. I recognized the raised pallet's purpose, but not the odd, low, scooped wooden structure at the far end. "My thanks. Bao what is that?"

He stared at me. "A bed?"

I pointed. "That?"

"For rest your head." He clasped his hands behind his neck. Like so.

"Oh."

"You want I show you?"

"Nooo" I wasn't ready for the sight of Bao in my bed. "You reckon that a pillow?"

"Uh-huh." He nodded. "We sail now. You want to see?"

"Aye, I suppose."

Sailors were swarming all over the main deck. Somewhere below, incredibly long oars protruded from oar-holes and began to churn the water, turning the ponderous vessel. Bao led me to the stern of the ship on the uppermost deck. We watched the harbor of Marsilikos appear before us as the massive ship turned.

"They use oar only in the harbor," Bao told me. "Only wind and water moving at sea." He lowered his voice. "They not open the bag of wind here where foreigners can see."

"Bag of" I gave him a startled look. "I thought that was just a turn of phrase. You mean there actually is a bag of wind?"

He nodded. "Long time ago the Emperor marry the wind god's daughter. Thousand years ago. Almost empty now, maybe. Better to save."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. I gripped the railing and watched the harbor slowly fall away behind us as the ship's mighty sails filled and it got under way, moving at a stately pace past smaller vessels. Bao stood beside me, silent for once, leaning on his staff. Terre d'Ange, the land that had adopted me in unexpected ways, dwindled in my vision until the golden dome of the Palace of Marsilikos was only a bright glint on the horizon.

I turned to face the open sea.

I was leaving a mess of intrigue, ambition, and betrayal behind me, as well as love and trust and acceptance I'd never imagined finding. My father. Jehanne. I was venturing farther into the unknown, farther from my home and my people. My mother. And I still hadn't the faintest idea what it all meant.

But my diadh-anam burned strongly in my breast and I felt the Maghuin Dhonn's approval; and too, I felt the presence of Naamah's blessing on me, and to a lesser degree, Anael's.

I was venturing into the unknown, but I carried my gods within me.

"Well," I said aloud. "Here we go."

We were at sea for a very, very long time. For the first few days, I felt strange to myself. Truly, the ship was more like a floating city than a shipbased, to be sure, on my very limited experience with ships. I was surprised to learn there were other women aboard.

"Companion for the soldier," Bao explained. "All noble sons who agree to come search for Master Lo."

"Oh," I said for the thousandth time.

The women tittered behind their hands when they saw me and wanted nothing more to do with menot that I could have spoken to them if they had. The men, soldiers and sailors alike, eyed me askance. I didn't know if it was because I was reputed to be a witch, or the Queen's concubine, or simply because I was foreign.

"All three," Bao explained. "Mostly" He reconsidered. "No. All three." He regarded me with indolent curiosity. "What you do in bed, anyway? Two women together. Yin-yin." He banged closed fists together. "Makes no sense."

I scowled at him. "Nothing that concerns you."

He shrugged. "Fine."

Everything was strange.

The food was strange, laced with strange spices. Not bad, but strange. I ate what was brought to me, fumbling with the lacquered wooden sticks the Ch'in used for eating utensils. The bed with its wooden pillow was strange. The pillow made my neck ache. I tried to use it only once. After that, I slept with my head cushioned on my arms.