Nameless (19 page)

“I … I’m sorry. I don’t like to be touched.”

Gryphon could only watch with mouth gaping, his hands curling and uncurling at his sides, as she propped herself up against the wall and stripped a portion of her shirt into a bandage. She gasped at the effort of wrapping the cloth around her small waist, and cried out as she pulled tight the dressing.

“Let me help you.” Gryphon inched closer but kept his arms by his side.

“Wash your hands,” she said.

As the soldier washed, Zo pulled out a few bottles from her kit. She felt awkward blessing the herbs and tonics for herself. The wound burned. Her concentration wavered. So much of healing rested in the love of the healer. With her enemy sitting inches away, Zo conjured the words of the blessing in her mind, and worked to bind her love to … well, herself.

The familiar click that usually registered in her heart didn’t come. Instead it rested just on the edge of where it should. Taunting like an aching knuckle in need of a good pop.

“Ready.” The soldier held up his clean hands for inspection.

Zo nodded. “Good. Soak the wool in these.” She pushed four jars toward him with shaking hands. A new wave of chills rocked her frame. Her head felt light from blood loss.

The soldier hesitated then gently took hold of one of Zo’s shoulders. She flinched under his touch. He frowned and pressed the wool to her stomach. The sting made her eyes water, but she didn’t cry out. Not with her enemy watching.

Show them no pain
. Commander Laden’s coaching echoed in her ears.

Gryphon didn’t remember falling asleep after moving Zo to his bed. His joints popped as he peeled his worn body from the hard floor. He turned to find Joshua leaning against the doorway of his room. The boy’s swollen red eyes and deep frown made him seem older.

“Sorry kid. I meant to come and—”

“What’s going on?” Joshua folded his arms and scowled, effectively scrunching up the freckles on his face.

Gryphon looked back to make sure Zo was asleep before grabbing Joshua by the collar and hauling him outside. Dark clouds swept over the early morning sky. The cold bit through Gryphon’s damp shirt. “I’ve messed up, kid.” Gryphon studied the horizon. “I couldn’t kill the Wolf.”

The boy was young, but he was still a Ram. He understood the shame in Gryphon’s words and knew him well enough not to console him. Gryphon had failed the clan and deceived his brothers. For a Wolf.

“Why?” Joshua’s disappointment carried over the wind.

Gryphon thought of Zo, the pain in her deep blue eyes as the Wolf walked up the platform to face execution. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I made a decision and now have to face the consequences.”

“You’re not turning yourself in, are you?”

Gryphon hesitated long enough to send Joshua into a full-scale panic. “You can’t! You’re the best man we have!” Beneath his words Gryphon heard something completely different.
“You’re my only family!”

Gryphon swallowed against the rock in his throat. “Go look after Zo. Get some sleep if you can.”

“Where are you going?” asked Joshua.

Gryphon took two steps toward the barn then called over his shoulder, “To fix my mistakes.”

Dust particles danced in the beams of sunlight that filtered through ceiling planks of the barn. The Wolf lay face down with his wrists tied behind his back and a gag in his mouth. With his ankles bound to his wrists, his body looked like a crescent moon on the ground. Joshua had taken his time.

Gryphon cut the ropes connecting his ankles to his wrists and removed the gag.

“How is she?” said the Wolf with his first free breath. He tried to stand but fell. “Is she badly injured? I need to see her. I need to make sure she’s all right.”

“I’ll smuggle you out of the Gate once we’ve attacked Zo’s contacts at your command post down river. Once you leave the Gate you are my enemy. If we meet on the battlefield, I’ll tear every limb from your body and have no problem sleeping that night. Do you understand?”

The Wolf barely seemed to hear Gryphon’s words. “Why is she here? What are you doing with her? I need to see her!”

Gryphon picked up a piece of straw from the ground and split it in two. “The girl will heal. It was too dark for her to recognize you. Everyone inside the Gate believes I killed you on that platform.”

“So she thinks I’m … ”

“Dead.”

The Wolf nodded his head. “But you’re going to tell her the truth, right? That I’m alive.”

Gryphon bit the inside of his cheek. “The boy will bring food and water.”

“I’m not leaving her behind. Not again.”

Gryphon replaced the gag and tied the Wolf’s hands to a post. “I don’t know how things work where you come from, but inside the Gate a pact is a pact. You told me what I needed to know inside the cave. Now trust me to keep my end of the deal. I didn’t have to spare you. I’ve sworn with my own blood to protect the girl. That means something to a Ram.”

Zo breathed in the musk of her pillow. The smell of pine and lemon grass tickled her nose. She inhaled deeper. A body lying on the other side of the bed shifted, and Zo’s eyes flew open. She relaxed when she noticed the red hair sticking out from under the covers. The planes of Joshua’s adolescent face seemed softer in the morning light. She reached out and touched his fiery hair, wondering if there was some way to keep Joshua from becoming a monster. Maybe she could find a safe place for him and Tess. Somewhere far away from spears and bloodshed where they could live in peace.

Joshua turned over and wrapped an unconscious arm around her middle. Pain exploded from the wounds in her stomach, but she didn’t move him. Instead, she held him under the wing of her arm and thought of Tess waking up alone in the Nameless’ barracks without her warmth to keep the morning chill away. No one would walk her to the fields. No one would love her and tell her to be brave and keep her head down.

The pain in Zo’s stomach became more internal. The sorrow of her situation was too overwhelming to endure. The image of Gabe suffocating under Gryphon’s strong hands sent her over the edge of an emotional cliff. Tears burned hot on her cheeks. Tears she hadn’t allowed herself to cry in a long, long time.

“Does it hurt?” said a deep voice by the door.

Zo looked away, hurriedly wiping the tears from her face. She knew Gryphon had had no choice but to kill Gabe, but it didn’t make looking at him any easier. To her he would always be the man who killed her childhood friend.

The soldier stepped closer and lifted Joshua’s arm from her waist. “Do we need to replace the bandages?”

Zo sniffled and nodded, gesturing for her kit.

Gryphon washed his hands in a basin of water in the corner of the room then sat on the edge of the bed. He lifted the hem of her shirt to expose her stomach. His movements were gentle. Fluid. The caked blood tugged at Zo skin as he slowly pulled the bandages away.

“We need to flush out the wound.” Zo gestured to a tall bottle of alcohol and a tiny brush. “You might need to scrub, soldier.”

Gryphon frowned. “Won’t that be painful?”

Zo laughed. The tone of her voice scared her—it was the sound of a woman who’d lost her mind. Why did he care if it was painful? In his eyes she was no better than a goat in a pen.

The soldier lowered himself to his knees and set his shoulders. He uncorked the lid and poured the clear liquid into each hole, looking up at her for guidance between each pour. Zo wanted to cry out, but gritted her teeth and focused on breathing through the explosions of pain.

“Are you all right? Should I give you a minute before … ” He gestured toward the brush.

“Just do it.” She waited for him to start before dabbing at the tears forming around her eyes. In truth, she couldn’t have imagined a better hand. He seemed to read the wound, and by touch, determine the perfect amount of pressure and strokes to remove the dried blood and dirt.

When he finished, Zo sighed with relief and looked him in the eyes. She couldn’t bring herself to compliment his work. This was Gabe’s killer.

With most of the macabre debris cleaned away the wound looked much less dire. She winced as she tried to sit up to get a better view of it. He took her by the shoulders and lifted her into place. Her body felt cold where his hands had been.

“Looks good. We just need to close the wound.”

“You don’t mean stitching, do you?” Gryphon’s brow furrowed.

“You don’t have to, soldier.” If Tess were here, she could do it, though her stitches weren’t always straight.

“Call me Gryphon.” He looked through Zo’s kit and found a fishbone needle and thread. He placed one hand on her stomach while the other held the needle ready. “Tell me what to do.”

Zo couldn’t decipher his motives for helping her—for being so kind.

Gryphon worked quietly. His fingers moved with stealth and precision. When he tied the final knot, Zo couldn’t help staring. “You’ve never done that before?”

“I’m no healer.”

There it was. The pride of the Ram jumping up to greet her. Of course he hadn’t healed a person before. It wasn’t considered a proud profession. Certainly needed, but not desired above bashing in heads on raids.

“I need to find you a better place to lie down. If my mother wakes up to find you asleep with Joshua in my bed she’ll ask more questions than I want to answer.”

Zo nodded in agreement. The last thing she wanted was to be questioned by the Ram woman again.

Gryphon helped Zo stand and kept hold of her arm as they walked outside to the servant quarters. The small building had a chicken coop connected to the back and an oak front door that sat crooked on its hinges. As they entered, four men jumped out of bed and stood at attention.

“This girl will take Nan’s old bed. She’s been wounded and needs rest. Tend to her and your business today.”

Gryphon looked back at her with a hint of a smile. “I’ll check back in a few hours.” He closed the door behind him.

Zo stared at the door wondering why, with all of his injuries, he hadn’t asked to be healed.