Nan Ryan (17 page)

“But, Hunter, we’re both wide awake now, so why lie in bed?”

“Kathleen, you were tired last night. You aren’t tired now, are you?” he smiled at her.

“No, I’m not, but …”

“Good,” he said and kissed her.

“But, Hunter, it’s …”

“Please, darling,” he whispered, “I want you so much. Love me, please.”

“Well, really I don’t think …”

“Don’t think, darling. Forget everything but you and me,” and he kissed her throat, then put his lips to her ear. “I love you so much, you’re so lovely.” Kathleen reluctantly gave in.

Doctor Hunter Alexander returned to his heavy practice of medicine and spent long hours away from Sans Souci tending his patients. When he was in his office at the home of his Uncle Rembert, he was able to forget about Kathleen completely, throwing himself into the work he loved so much, but when the day started drawing to a close, he found himself eagerly anticipating going home to his beautiful, new wife. He found it disconcerting that she was always in the drawing room or in the library with her parents when he arrived home after a long day at his office. He could never greet her the way he wanted to, had to content himself with the cold little kisses she placed on his cheek in front of her parents. He longed to come home and find her up in their room so he could rush up and greet her properly, in private. It never happened. She was always with them and they always ate dinner together at night. Hunter never had dinner alone with his wife, as he would have liked. He never complained and he was as gracious and charming as possible, but he would have preferred more time alone with Kathleen.

Kathleen sat at the vanity brushing her long blond hair. Hunter walked to her and kissed her on the top of her head, smiled at her in the mirror and said, “Come to bed, darling, your hair is pretty enough.”

“Hunter, I, well …”

“What is it, Kathleen?” Hunter straightened and studied her face.

“Nothing, Hunter,” she said and slowly rose from the dresser.

“Good,” he smiled and slipped his arms around her. “I missed you today,” he whispered, “I miss you everyday. I wish we could go away together again, don’t you?”

“Sure,” she answered and stepped out of his embrace. She walked to the bed and he followed eagerly. When she lay down, Hunter hurriedly undressed and blew out the lamp. He got into bed beside her and immediately put his arms around her and moved close to her.

“I love you, my darling,” he said and bent to kiss her lips.

“Oh, Hunter, is that all you ever think about?” she said, irritated:

Stung by her harsh words, Hunter released her and said, “No, it isn’t all I ever think about, but I love you, Kathleen, and I want you.”

“Well, Hunter, I’m quite tired tonight. I just want to go to sleep.”

“All right, Kathleen.” He moved to his side of the bed. Hunter lay awake in the dark, longing to make love to his wife and confused by the coolness she’d shown him since they returned to Sans Souci. He wanted her to be like she had been on their honeymoon in New Orleans. She was so loving then; they had had such a good time, had laughed so much, and she had willingly come to his arms whenever he wanted her. She was different then and he had been so happy. Maybe it was all the champagne they had drunk. Perhaps it was because she was more relaxed when they were in a hotel alone. With his practice growing heavier by the day, there wasn’t any hope of taking her on a trip, but he could have champagne on hand. Hunter fell asleep making a mental note to offer her a drink before bedtime tomorrow night to see if that would make things different. Hunter fell asleep smiling with anticipation.

When Hunter came home from his office the next evening, he had some news for Kathleen. Becky Stewart Jackson had given birth to a healthy baby boy.

Kathleen looked strange for a second, then smiled and said, “It’s wonderful, but it came early, didn’t it? What did she have, Hunter.”

“A little boy, barely six pounds, but healthy and cute and Becky is doing fine.”

“Good, I’ll go see her tomorrow. Did your uncle deliver it?”

“Yes. I assisted him because he was worried about Becky. You know she isn’t a strong girl, but luckily she came through it all right. And she’s so happy, almost as happy as Ben.”

Unexpectedly, Kathleen hugged Hunter and whispered, “Let’s go upstairs. I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“What, darling?” he put his arm around her waist as they walked up the steps.

“I’ll tell you in bed,” and she smiled up at him.

While Kathleen undressed for bed, her heart pounded in her chest. She dreaded telling Hunter she was pregnant, felt he would be able to look inside her and know her guilty secret. She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head. She had to convince Hunter she was pregnant with his child and was overjoyed to be. It was not an easy task and she wished there was something she could do to make it less difficult. When she walked out of their dressing room, Hunter stood smiling near the bed. On the table by the bed sat a bucket with a bottle of champagne cooling in it. He held up two glasses and said, “Darling, may I pour you a glass of champagne?” It was just what she needed.

“Oh, Hunter, yes, I’d love a glass. How sweet of you to think of it.”

Hunter poured for them and touched his glass to hers. She drank hers hastily and, when the glass was empty, she held it out for more. Delighted, Hunter smiled and poured her another glass and another. The bubbly wine worked and by the time her husband put his arms around her and said, “Let’s go to bed,” she was ready.

Kathleen laid back on the pillows. Hunter smiled and said, “I have a surprise for you too, darling. I had the coins we got at the mint made into a bracelet. I picked it up today. Would you like to see it now?”

“Hunter, you know I want to, where is it?”

Hunter went to his jacket, thrown over a chair, and took the bracelet out of his pocket. He returned to the bed, grinning like a little boy. He held it out to her and she took it eagerly from him. “It’s lovely, thank you, darling, thank you,” and put her arms around his neck.

“I’m glad you like it, sweetheart, now tell me your surprise.”

“Put my beautiful bracelet on my wrist, then I will,” she smiled at him.

Pleased with her obvious pleasure, Hunter beamed and fastened the bracelet around her slim wrist. She held up her hand and admired it, then put her hands on her husband’s shoulders while he sat on the edge of the bed beside her. “Hunter,” she looked into his dreamy brown eyes, “I think I’m going to have a baby.”

Hunter pulled her to him and embraced her, saying, “Oh, darling, that’s wonderful. I’m delighted. The thought of you having my child makes me unbelievably happy.” He pulled back to look at her face, “Do you want to go see Uncle Rembert tomorrow and find out for sure?”

“No,” she almost shouted. “No, Hunter. Doctor Jennings has been my doctor since childhood; I want to go to him. You understand, don’t you?” Her fingers caressed the curly blond hair at the back of his neck.

Hunter took her hand from his neck, kissed the soft palm, “Certainly, my love. You go see Doctor Jennings. Kathleen, I’m so happy!”

“I am too, Hunter. I’m so glad you are. I was afraid you might not, I mean I thought you would think, I …”

“I think it’s wonderful and I think
you’re
wonderful. I love you so very much, my darling,” he said and kissed her. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like another glass of champagne? You won’t be able to have it very often now that you’re pregnant.”

“No more champagne, I just want you to hold me.”

“Oh, honey,” he sighed, undressed and got into bed, and kissed the wrist with the gold coin bracelet. “You want me to take this off?” he whispered.

“Never,” she laughed and pulled him to her.

Thirteen

When Kathleen told her parents she was expecting a baby, they both hugged her happily and congratulated Hunter. Hunter smiled broadly and said he couldn’t be happier. Dinner that night was a festive occasion and Louis made toasts to the young couple and talked of the happy day when his first grandchild would arrive. “I’m sure he’ll be a doctor, just like you, Hunter,” Louis smiled and lifted his glass.

“Only if he wants to be,” Hunter said evenly.

“Kathleen, why are you so quiet?” her father asked her. “This is a celebration.”

“I’m sorry, Father. I’m just a little tired, I guess.” She tried to smile.

“Hunter, should she already be growing tired? Do you suppose everything is all right?” His father-in-law was concerned.

“I’m sure she’s fine, Mister Beauregard. I’m taking her to Doctor Jennings in the morning. He will take good care of her.”

“Louis, don’t start worrying already,” his wife scolded him.

“I can’t help it. Hunter, you’re a doctor. Can’t you examine her, be sure she’s …”

Suddenly, Kathleen pushed back from the table so rapidly her chair fell over. “You’re all talking about me like I’m not here. I’m just going to have a baby. I’m not an invalid and I’m not deaf either! Quit making such a fuss over me! Can’t you leave me alone!” and she ran out of the room in tears. She ran up the stairs still screaming, “Leave me alone, leave me alone!”

The three looked at each other in silence for a moment. Hunter and Louis rose from the table at the same time.

“I’m going up to her,” her father said.

Calmly, Hunter said, “No, Mister Beauregard. I’m her husband, I’ll go to her,” and he turned and left the room.

“But, I …” Louis slowly sank back into his chair, worrying about the strange behavior of his pregnant daughter.

“Kathleen, may I come in?” Hunter said softly through the door.

“Go away and let me rest!” she shouted, crying loudly.

Hunter sighed and pushed the door open. She was laying across the bed sobbing. He walked to her and sat down beside her. “Kathleen, it’s all right. Cry all you want.” He tentatively put a hand on her shaking shoulder. “You’re just a little frightened, darling, and I understand. I’ll take care of you, Kathleen. You’re a strong, healthy girl and you’ll get along fine.” He began slowly stroking her back. “You’re going to have a baby, darling, and that’s the most wonderful thing in the world. I’ll do everything I can to help you; you can count on me, Kathleen. I love you, I’ll always be at your side. You are very precious to me and so is our baby.”

Her sobs were subsiding and slowly she turned her face to look up at him. He smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes. She didn’t struggle when he pulled her up into his arms. She rested her head on his chest and let him push her hair from her face and caress her while he whispered softly, “Everything’s all right, sweetheart.” When he calmly asked, “Do you feel better now?” she nodded her head yes, her eyelids drooping sleepily. Hunter smiled and kissed her forehead, “Good girl. Now I want you to get some rest. Do you think you can sleep?”

“Yes, Hunter, thank you.”

“Shall I go downstairs?”

“No, stay with me please. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Then I’ll get your nightgown, darling, and help you undress.”

By the end of March, Kathleen’s condition was apparent as her waist thickened and her cheeks grew fuller. Her mood swings upset everyone in the household, especially her young husband. One day she would be happy and sing loudly as she opened box after box of new baby clothes she’d bought. The next day she would be depressed and spend long hours in her room, staring out the window, refusing to talk to anyone.

It was evening and Kathleen had not come down for dinner. Hunter hurried through his meal so he could go up to his wife. When he walked into the bedroom, she stood at the window, pensive and uncommunicative. The tray Hannah had brought her sat untouched on a table. She didn’t turn around when Hunter came in. Slowly, he walked to her and said, “Darling, are you all right?”

“I’m just fine,” she answered without turning.

“Can’t you eat some dinner?”

“I’m not hungry. Besides, I’m fat and ugly enough!”

“Oh, honey,” he smiled and stepped up behind her, slipping his arms around her thickening waist. “I think you’re lovely,” he kissed her neck.

Kathleen brushed his hands away and whirled around, “Hunter, for heaven’s sake, will you leave me alone! I’m sick and I don’t want you pawing me all the time. You’re driving me crazy. I want to be left alone, can’t you understand that? Can’t you please move to another room for a while? I’m not sleeping well, you know that. You’re always hugging me in your sleep and I just can’t stand it anymore! Do you want to hurt the baby? I need to sleep alone until the baby comes. You just don’t know what it’s like being pregnant.” She was crying now and she stormed across the room to the bed. She sat down and put her face in her hands.

Stunned and hurt, Hunter stood and watched her. Finally, he said, “Certainly, darling. I understand. I will move down the hall so you can sleep better. I haven’t meant to upset you, Kathleen. I know you are going through a difficult time, even though it’s impossible for me to know what it’s like being pregnant. I don’t want to make it harder. I’ll leave now and you get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow,” and he walked from the room and closed the door.

After he left, Kathleen threw herself across the bed and cried herself to sleep, longing for Dawson Blakely, her child’s father, to hold her all through the night and every night. Hunter took an empty bedroom at the end of the hall and was not invited back into Kathleen’s room. He was unhappy with the new arrangement, but his wife became more even-tempered and relaxed. She was kinder to him when he was in her presence because she knew at bedtime she could go to her room alone and not be bothered by her overly affectionate husband.

Hunter spent more and more time reading and studying. Each night he brought home more medical books and his room was slowly turning into his own personal library. He went there as soon as dinner was finished and worked far into the night. He missed the company of his wife, but told himself he must be patient, that she would surely be different after the baby arrived. In the meantime he busied himself with his research, desperately searching for the elusive cure for the yellow fever that had taken his beloved parents from him. Night after night, he worked in his room and, when finally he was so tired he could no longer hold his eyes open, he fell into bed alone and went quickly to sleep.