Kate felt warm and cocooned as she stirred from sleep, only half-conscious. She kept her eyes closed, hoping to fall back asleep. The covers twisted around her legs in a snug knot, but a big pillow, snuggled into her stomach, warmed her.
She wondered about that because her pillow was under her head. Coming more fully awake, Kate opened her eyes. She could barely see by the soft morning light that filtered through the curtains. More important, her arms and face felt the softness of flesh against them and she knew it was no pillow she cuddled with. Her arm curved around Lucas’s side and her body spooned into him, her face against his back. Her thighs pressed into the backs of his.
She started to jump away then stopped herself. Maybe he was asleep—completely unaware that she clung to him like a barnacle on a boat. A sudden move would wake him. If she disengaged slowly, he’d be none the wiser.
Oh, please, let him be asleep.
She lay quietly listening to the sound of his breathing. He wasn’t snoring, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t asleep. His respirations were deep, a good sign.
How had she ended up on his side anyway? Had she had some weird dream about their kiss? Where was her rolled-up quilt barrier? The way the covers tangled around her legs, she or Lucas must’ve had a fitful sleep.
Okay, time to disengage.
She carefully removed her hand from his stomach. Inch by inch, she lifted her arm until it had no contact with Lucas. Next she lifted her head, moving her face away from the heated hardness of his back.
So far, so good.
The only thing against him now was . . . well, the rest of her body. Her legs tingled with awareness.
Stop that! Good grief, what has gotten into me?
She eased her weight onto her elbow and held her breath as she moved away from him.
Lucas stirred and turned, settling on his back. Kate froze above him. His side pressed into her now and his face was inches away. Thankfully, his eyes remained closed. She lay still, hardly daring to breathe. Was her heartbeat shaking the entire bed?
She glanced at his clock. It was later than she’d thought. The alarm would sound in three minutes. She had to break away.
Kate scooted back, easing away from him. She’d moved only a few inches when she felt resistance. Her pajama top was caught. Lucas had rolled on top of it.
Gritting her teeth, she grasped the material and tugged slowly, watching Lucas’s face for any sign of awareness. But it freed without incident, and she sighed quietly. Being careful to steady the bed, she used her feet and right elbow to support her weight and scooted her hips away.
When she reached her own side of the bed, she rolled to her back and let out a shaky breath. Her heart, beating more rapidly than could be accounted for, really was shaking the bed. Thank goodness Lucas had slept through it. There was no telling what he’d think if he knew she’d snuggled up to him like that.
“Next time you want to cuddle, just say so.”
The voice from beside Kate startled her. Then the meaning of his words penetrated her mind. He still lay perfectly still, his breathing deep and even.
That jerk!
He’d been awake the whole time and let her suffer.
She yanked the pillow from under her head and swung it at him. But the only response she got was his insufferable laughter.
Fear and its close cousin, jealousy, will
do more to ruin a relationship than any
other factors.
—Excerpt from
Finding Mr. Right-for-You
by Dr. Kate
The Wright house was buzzing with activity when Kate and Lucas arrived the next Saturday.
“Come in, kids!” Roy called from where he emptied ice cubes into glasses. He was about to say something else, but Susan turned on a noisy mixer and began running it through a pot of steaming potatoes. In the next room, the TV blared, but Jamie was curled into a fat armchair with a book.
Lucas and Kate greeted them; then Roy took Lucas into the garage to show him the new mower he’d bought. When Susan turned off the mixer, silence settled on the kitchen.
“Can I help with something?” Kate asked.
“No, thank you.”
Kate searched for something to say. It was easier when they were walking; she didn’t feel the need to fill the silence. For the hundredth time, she thought about addressing the issue of Susan and Kate’s mom. Would it clear the air between them if she apologized on behalf of her mom? Would it open the door for Susan to confide in Kate about her marriage problems? Or would it just anger Susan that Lucas had told her?
She was formulating her thoughts on the matter when Lucas and his dad reentered. “You can borrow it anytime,” Roy was saying to Lucas as he took a pitcher of tea from the fridge.
Oh well, it would have to wait for another time. “Is Brody around?” Kate asked.
“He’s upstairs already,” Roy said.
“I think I’ll join him, if you don’t need any help,” Kate said.
Roy shooed her on, and Kate climbed the two flights, dreading the rooftop experience but wanting to catch up with Brody. They hadn’t had an opportunity to discuss his majors since he dropped by her office.
She found Brody leaning on the widow’s-walk railing, high above the landscape. He greeted her as she slipped into her chair against the chimney chase.
“Great day, huh?” he asked.
Kate forced her eyes from him. The blue of the sky melted into the expanse of ocean, its unending vastness interrupted only by the colorful dots of sails. The sun burned hot, and the breeze chopped at the water’s surface. Kate’s fists tightened around the chair’s arm, its edges cutting into her palm.
“Beautiful.” She tucked her feet under the chair. Why wasn’t it getting easier to face her fear of heights? She’d thought she could overcome it if she only forced herself up here every week.
Her mind went back to the first time she’d felt the fear. Ironically, it hadn’t been her own life she’d feared for at the time. Her mom, belly filled with alcohol, had climbed out her bedroom window and onto the sloped roof of the porch. Kate had come home from a friend’s house to find her teetering on the edge.
“Mom, don’t move!” Kate ran upstairs, down the short, narrow hall, and into her mom’s bedroom. The wooden sash was thrown open and the curtains fluttered in the night breeze.
“Mom, come here.” Kate climbed out the window and took slow steps down the slope. Her mom’s blouse rippled in the wind, and for a moment, Kate thought it would be enough to blow her right over the edge. She grabbed her mom’s hand. “Come on, Momma.”
Kate didn’t know how frightened she’d been until they were safely inside the house. Only then did she realize her heart felt as though it was going to burst through her ribs.
Now, her heart pounded in remembrance. Ever since that day, heights had frightened her.
This is not helping. I need to focus on something else.
Brody shifted, drawing Kate’s attention, and she remembered her purpose in coming. “I’ve been wondering about your career path. Have you given it more thought?”
Brody leaned his weight against the railing. Didn’t he realize it could give way? If it did, he’d hurtle three floors to his death. Okay, maybe just a broken leg, but still. Kate’s palms grew clammy; she felt dizzy at just the thought.
“It’s all I think about,” Brody said. “Other than girls, that is.” He flashed a smile, revealing
a dimple she hadn’t noticed before.
Kate remembered the passion in his voice when he’d
talked about tutoring his little friend. She had a suspicion education was his main interest. The question was, why had he changed majors? What was holding him back?
“When I look into the future,” he said, “I can see myself teaching middle school. Maybe art or computers or even science. But—”
Kate waited for him to finish, although she had to look away; the mental image of the rail breaking loose was too much. She watched her oval thumbnail follow the square edge of the chair’s arm.
“I don’t know. I changed majors for a reason. I keep trying to remember why.”
“You switched to art next, right?”
The wind tousled his hair, and he shook it from his eyes. “Yeah. Dumb move.”
Kate shook her head. “We make decisions for a reason. Sometimes you just have to dig deep to find them.”
She was beginning to think she understood Brody’s reasons.
She leaned back, and her chair, its legs not quite even, rocked an inch. She stiffened, clutching the table’s edge. Her breath caught in her throat, and prickles of adrenaline flared under her skin.
When she looked up, Brody was studying her. “What’s wrong?”
Kate forced her fingers to loosen and crossed her legs. “The chair rocked back and I lost my balance.”
Brody’s head cocked. “You always sit with your back against the wall, and you never walk around up here.” He pointed his finger at her. “You’re afraid of heights, aren’t you?”
Kate gave a wry laugh. “I’m not afraid of heights so much as I’m afraid of falling.”
Brody sat at the table. “You should have said something. We could eat downstairs.”
She shrugged. “I don’t want to break tradition. Besides, I don’t like letting fear rule my life. This little once-a-week trek is my way of telling my fear to take a hike.”
Brody laughed, and as he did, a thought struck Kate. There was nothing like fear to change your course. How many people had she counseled whose fear of intimacy kept them from experiencing the very thing they desired?
She leaned back. “Maybe you’re a little like me.”
“What, me? Afraid of heights? No way. I’ve been parasailing lots of times and even hang gliding a couple times. Don’t tell Mom and Dad. They’d freak.”
Kate shook her head, sure she was onto something. “No. Afraid of falling.” She watched him, waiting for him to connect the dots.
His head tipped back, his eyes narrowing. “You think I’m afraid of failing.”
He was obviously offended, and Kate wondered if she’d over-stepped her boundaries. “Only you know the answer to that.” She smiled to soften the words. “I’m just putting it out there.”
It made sense. Maybe he’d only changed majors because he excelled at many things and couldn’t make up his mind. But in light of his passion for teaching, fear of failure made sense. He wouldn’t be the first.
The sound of feet thumping up the stairs warned them they had company coming, and the topic was tabled for the day.
Kate was eating alone at the Even Keel when her agent, Ronald, called with great news.
Glamour
magazine wanted to feature her in a monthly “Dear Dr. Kate” column. They’d seen her appearance on Dr. Phil and had been tracking her career. It had been between her and another syndicated columnist, and she was their first pick.
Kate paid her bill and rushed back to the shop, hoping Lucas was there, wanting to share her good news. She would have been eating with him except he’d canceled because of an appointment.
But what Kate saw when she neared the shop pushed her good news from her mind and stopped her feet midstride. Someone behind her bumped her, treading on her good heels.
“Sorry,” Kate mumbled as the tourist passed her with a glare, pulling a golden retriever on a leash. She shifted over, moving closer to the gift shop, out of the stream of traffic, her eyes returning to the scene that had stopped her.
Lucas helped a woman from a silver car. The woman unfolded herself from the compact vehicle, and Kate saw her long red, hair. Lucas shut the door and followed the woman into his shop.
It was the same woman Kate had seen him with the day Brody stopped by her office a month or so ago. Was she the reason Lucas had cancelled their lunch plans? Had he and Red had lunch together?
Something tightened deep in her stomach like a dishrag wrung hard.
Don’t be ridiculous. She’s probably just a friend. Or a business
acquaintance.
From a distance, Kate watched Lucas hold the store’s door for the woman. She turned and laughed at something he said, cocking her head.
Kate’s lips pursed in reaction. She disliked the way the woman looked at Lucas. She disliked her own reaction to it more.
It’s not jealousy.
She looked away and watched the tourists and locals walking past her. What would people think if they saw Lucas and Red eating together? Especially if the woman was hanging on him like she had the first time Kate saw them together? He was married to her, Dr. Kate, and she couldn’t have people thinking he was wining and dining another woman. As careful as they’d been to make the marriage appear legitimate, she couldn’t believe he’d be so careless.